“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a spontaneous gravity test.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.” – Unknown

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Unknown

“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.” – Unknown

“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown

“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.” – Unknown RARE BOOK QUOTES

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“I may be a night owl, but I’m not an early bird.” – Unknown

“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?” – Unknown

“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!” – Unknown