![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVitycWlwejQ3YzlTRlF0azJ6WWd2VEMrTWI1NFNBLy9ab1pEODBlNDM2eEZ2RVJ1ZUFMclZOanpoSXBhRE54SW4vNHdWVmdyWkhWNzRGNGt3SGw5STJBc01xMUd5dmxoV2E2R1p2UWhPOVUxeFE2UCt5MGNibFBQMUl3bUNmYTl5UDdMUmR5aDdwV05KRGxRTDhuYytBUWpUQXNOM3FTaFdtQ3lrUEhUejVm/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(db7c923ef61822e468d3c13d7f73d7be).jpg)
“I told my husband to stop being a nuisance, but he just kept coming back every night.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVThEWm1nRjlGTHpRNDlZUSswSmxKcnNTdDdVbUpIRmpGVlV4cG1tTDZUeXFkV2tXZkRJVnEwRjBENktqT1grUjV1S0tiKys3TFoyRjFxZ3F3ZU5wd1VCZE1waElFUVUxcjBqOGJ2dU5nbXVUZmVaOWt4Uit4M1pRb0ZoSGhtaEcvcENyZXZ3cThOdEREN1JSNWxlMVVRT0lYNVJKbnZ0cWZzUXhDR25LaUVIQ0FONmZzQlN4amJWaCtzOUdxZCtlQUIrbXJDZU1qRUNlWGhtcGdIRlhLaUE4TFBhek8zTGRteU55anhkcG9lMmd4YjhPand3dnBnOVlpRXI3dGV5czQ9/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(95961f2d33842d57bbb2b0b4ac536514).jpg)
“I asked my husband what he plans to do today. He said, ‘Absolutely nothing,’ and that’s when I realized he misunderstood the concept of retirement.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYTBnU0lRcGdDZ3gramgvd1A5WGkvN1hheWlHcWNPK0xiaERVb2Q1YVM1RDNhVDNYNHp0MmszeUlDSml4L09BN0xHU01XcW9BVkY3UGwzVXd5TWNyeldPVkJFQ2Y4MnFEYXpSY2o0ZzRORkc4bys2QmZSR28wTUp1Qys4Z1dINnFtS3Q0MkJTaEtIR3lHLzZSNHd0Tzl5emxpVW1kRzlTZFp0R2YwaVlEeDM2d2NqakxDSDRuSW5Fd2FGZnIrY1I1Zm5DVENXbUZXQjhUbTg3YVVjT1RpdCtxK3FsZDhkL0xYTHpaa3AzZFpRVw%3D%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(fab793df6d7d01678be6e581613a4e49).jpg)
“My husband always complains that I don’t listen to him. I just wish he’d pay attention to the laundry instructions on his clothes.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0lQRGhmbnkvNkNkNXFXUGRjb2Fob1VuY2ZuNnVsZFpoMWVYQSsyNU92UWtjaW5xZE5Lc3VnelhqaGVrMUNGM2syTDE2QWJKcklTZGdpcnU4MGN6NDVUdngvcjI5eitFWWdhSGQ5a20ySThsOGFEbVBTam1pN0VHTFdxY2dVUjVsbFJRT3huL2lkZFpSNGR0VDcyUHhRRlQ1dFVzaFVXN21wa1JvYmJLdjEveWhlbEsrUXI5WFR4WjQvUVVrbnpvUT09/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(2a8957e307161d59203fcda7eba472d2).jpg)
“Marriage is all about compromise. For example, my husband watches his TV shows, and I pretend to be interested.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkQ2R3ZhU3gvdUxheW40WlkwTExiZEpiT1l2YlNEclhLL0JobkpSemlwc2VkQkNQVVBUSWkxTnZJRElBSDdPb0ZiWXM1Z3IvU2hCWlBDa2NSV3lrVkdCeE96TzhqV2pCUmtYKzBNTEtNWnZHb1VoTE1rRi9vVGgvUWhJTnk1SkY2Vnk3R0FVSFNQYk9Zbjh2OWpzZHVrVVhSdi8ycHdTODlZQ3BlWk0vWXkxcXlVZFNPRDh2MnhRQVlicVB0dVpna1hwWVNlRzRzc01JanpuVlFncmR4dz0%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(17954ca75460a98a47d536a77c6be8da).jpg)
“They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, my husband is rarely home, so he must be incredibly fond of me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0lQRGhmbnkvNkNkNXFXUGRjb2Fob2FwbWZNUnk3enlKcnFmUnpXd21CRk10UWZwUVlmandlSmVrdUtCWWt6QXBub2tnWTNYUkhEVzMrR2lyZmthdnc1d2ZCNlN3bks5SUhsVmdjTmd5d09FcWlMM3hrMHhOeHJGWmJUdmRSS3pWcUplcDUzcERBSTdWeVpUZ0g1OElsT0NIY1YrUE5RLzJQd2tXRVhpdFoxL1N0eXZtOWxlSFIzSmR5cEZJalN2RGxFeVUwK1ZGNXRGbUgrbmpObTJ3TT0%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(f52f125cb80905a0e0598881b47b553a).jpg)
“Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but by the end, you just want a club and a spade.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYTBnU0lRcGdDZ3gramgvd1A5WGkvNC9aTG55V2lBSGFscXF3VTBvRTBYblhOMmNuZzBOd2xUMy9ibG9PSzJJanlEeG1kNlZXTWcvU0RiYm5saXhJdUM4VW1DVHlnTmxmNjd4Y3hSeStQbmpVTmQzQSs3M2JIT3Q4K283Vm5IWGZlblllck1XRzZXL0tYM3pKQ1FuMm9Nd0VxRzN3MnZMeVl6UFNVaFZkc0ZMNGNERis5OWVnVjR0WUozREM4SlhCZz09/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(0449daae2cecea4ad476e64143022a1d).jpg)
“My husband always asks me if I have a plan for the day. My plan is to avoid him as much as possible.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZWMyMmZVRGpibnZXR2xXeGs4bWhlUUp1VysrQnl6eUZwSmg5OGdBOHMxWklRUzNrWmgrRWpHWUZibEgzRWNBZ09aUWE0RUdRcHBYbVJWY2dOd3pmWGNSVnM1bFR1czRzZzI4OEJGNjJJd3ZBK1Y1UnlDUyt5Zjk4VnM0a0hVRUoyb3ViNWZnWitGa0o4Z011eFJzUGVlVFczT3RacjZZb1hjbGFScDR2ejV3MVBZTEZ0d01QSzdUd1FDTnk2QnR5QT09/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(c805ca6a0dab5d40510b66773c04b4e9).jpg)
“I married my husband for better or worse, but I never imagined it would be both at the same time.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYTBnU0lRcGdDZ3gramgvd1A5WGkvNVp0M0prdE42NExSVmhjdzFxR0p3emZPN1BGd2I4Uy91RW80SmdJUXcrWmJQUlJqam4yZ2puVTU5cVR5U0w4cWNjR2VSc1ZKNzBHK1pzRXV5WlZ4UzNOVWEvblRsNnE4L1ExUlI2WkNxbUZnSzBPM2thaXBtSW1lQ3dIM2ZiNlE3TjJpUDNNMWZwSjNYMEdGdHFhUGFHRHZBcUJTT0QxN21wdnVheWN5aEpub0QxRlVmSmxFK2ZCN0QxVjhaanlrZz0%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(fa417d74406a5e23d1b4b711c6bd31cf).jpg)
“My husband thinks changing a lightbulb is a project. Meanwhile, I’m performing DIY surgery on our kitchen sink.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjVrR1FUWUhIWXlncDFwaWlROWxUWFN2bE5GNEtReXc0Sjlxd2JieDI1UVljUGNDY2d6WTI5SS9pVVM1TVgyY3BaTU9ZVHFVRUkrYk9LSU9Qd0dyWk8vK1lyanhLNWlIaDY0NDI5cE8wUjRDQ3gydEY5NndwM0MyK1JwYXVtV0Y4V0VFOUdEcjV4T2JZT1hvOHdUenVqTDFqc2RJWk4xZ1g3Sm15cUtQMTBWcEo4OUt5Nlk1eloyR1FBV29QZDNJMzRsR3RKVGdadkk2cXlNQklEbVFLcncxa09qNDJKVlhQK2hGY2s1aVgzag%3D%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(71c4c72908a1f1640033b9c78a2bac0a).jpg)
“I love my husband, but let’s be honest, he couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag if I wasn’t there directing him.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFd3dZVzdSMzA1Nm9GVFFMc3B2OUpPT2dhV2lCMlhwOCtMZEhWVkpwYk16YlV1dVVOSXFMdGpXQ2JWT2dpZHNoaDY4azdjRTdOTEZWdlZxWGFZdkxKQjBRd1lVd0NLSUUwK05SVXhxSFlNb0xXVXdub2p3aSsybHBTcCsvd1dpWjRRaFdnNVhBN1N3bWx1Qm5iMXVCdjRCdUFaK21qNnlGdDVOSjA0aWg3aGNUUT09/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(88a4314ac03d8b8a83376ec619d453fd).jpg)
“I told my husband I needed some space, so he bought me a telescope. Thanks, babe.” – Unknown IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYTBnU0lRcGdDZ3gramgvd1A5WGkvNHY5dE9Jd1ExQUhINkZ0MDd5UndUb1RJbi82QUNXZHRIWC9sMHpURnN5VzhmTVNlWjE3K3J4MytHZzhUUFQwNUExYzRScFpaNU1iYUxwWlZuNDUxNUFLVk1rT0IvdWQ5eWpXbERjSzdMa2NQbmZKUjllZmd5Q1IrQS9DdmwvZHJUbnRxUm43WnU2enVIbEQrQmF3MW13UXFUNStjRDJIakZvdzRNZS9lRlpjd2dUUjNFYUNxWFhzRXlJLzRUM1VJaz0%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(4750af5f839e539340e868d019668b30).jpg)
“My husband believes he’s the king of the remote control. Little does he know, I have the power to hide it whenever I want.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVjV0Zkd1bVlBNXlRREhxeTU0RTNReUJYU21YVTgvMTNPaC9jZzNXekwrekd6OHJSRW9ldHZvZlMwY1VKKzNFTzQ0OGREY2dwNmNyKzZzWi9ESklqbmdueGpsOTVvbE1SQmdVZFBzdmJ0QW9rK1RSQnZKbHZvUmkzY0lhY3YzWWxjSGQxUTN0UDMrdWFhZEE5M3FNQ3BUcHh1YWM4WGk2d2lrRlVuSWR5R3kwUDZXc1pUenhaeUxxalVTK2VuUmlueXJEWlN6T0ZTL2xDWldWb2c1T3Uxcz0%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(26c81bb5897df9466c671f1b1d0c19e1).jpg)
“Every time my husband makes a joke, I fake laugh. It’s like being married to a stand-up comedian with no sense of humor.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkQ2R3ZhU3gvdUxheW40WlkwTExiZWVZQ1VDemw4NjNYdmlXOTk1anZIQWlvaldUSjM5WGdGQUY3MnVEMmFPRDJRUXltTW9namx1RkJxejlDU0hTQkdvTkF4aW4wbUJvUU9RdU9HNFdLZkFucmhUcDdNMDB5aExPQnNKNXhIdnh2MjRaWWZoU0VnOEhDUWxUMllWRGZJZ3F6TjdDNUNFdHBtMTEyYXNyd1ZoNjBtRmgraUNhWFQzK1g3VW9CNmZUZz09/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(2617146319abbb39ecd5e098c8fa991c).jpg)
“They say laughter is the best medicine, and that’s why I married my husband. He’s a complete joke.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYTBnU0lRcGdDZ3gramgvd1A5WGkvNm1XVFlQYWR4WVZzaVMwNzhjRUJSdWw4UGR4RE9FMXAvcEllT2d6R0tuOHA0TkFLWmJ1aFM4QWRLKzlRUHVRN2x2U1QwOHRGYnBUakV1ay9ZellJbWxvSnhhY1psMExlclNGM0xsa3NUVTlDRzdxaUpwd01ZcFNMRFB3N1hrQVplWHFrS3Z0bzlhMXVrSzB0bUVtUnBQdVJkNFZVbEVhVHJCS2Z0TmhJNkV0dm5pSkhTSXh4enJHNXdEMFAvT0FGdXA5SGdOZG52WDVxRm1YVWtCVUREMzh3akZucWZmZ0ZwN3pueElmU0R4Tmc9PQ%3D%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(6f81777af8096255a7c02f68ab14c8a1).jpg)
“My husband asked me if I wanted to hear a construction joke. I said, ‘Sure,’ and he replied, ‘Sorry, I’m still working on it.'” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYTBnU0lRcGdDZ3gramgvd1A5WGkvN0p1c0xUTkxzVXdKVHdpOXBMK1ZjY2tQRWxyZld3TnZCRHR0S3MxVktpNHE1NFNaVnB0V0NVRGZiQjFUWXUzVmRGNGdocVJ5b01TZ3NEMDRFSm03cHh3RFY5Z1RHU2ttVmhkYndnN3NGWFFKSy9FMHlCVHUrTFhTYnU2WTFEeFZrb1p6NGdEN3hOQnNwbkx3OW9sNHZOQ0VMN2czZllDUHNiYXliQ1RhMDZCTkJjcnYyVWRZL1IrNVNHNlVoK1V3bHltN09lZUxoSndET0xRd2ZLMmNsWlAyZ0M3YnlRL1huZ3NRc0tiTiswNXc9PQ%3D%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(8f765fb44cb6a42aba2d73eac2bef9e6).jpg)
“My husband is always checking his hair in the mirror. I don’t have the heart to tell him that it’s been the same for the past 20 years.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1NnTkZXVDFtZmIwcExtQUhLUzRhNVN3SkVxL21Dc3RLS09kandFdXZMeGtCdnJvVE90L1JyTjFWTDB1UG93LzRocm8wYWdFY1V2b2QvU1dETE5WdFBqUDBuaWNNem5OZThsNXFyZmZyeVU0MWs0Q0kxaG1CeEhvdTQxY2h4ZDJqejdROHk0M0ZuUW9DU3ZndWRPRWdUaUthUWREKzY3VVIrVmF4MWxBaUNhZ2JkTmxYemlSRE5HV3pPTnZnWTUwRWV1MGx3bGJjQjdGeXB4Uk9KaHJpbz0%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(2ad060588020ca578c4b9eba615495d0).jpg)
“If loving my husband is wrong, then I don’t want to be right. But just to be clear, he’s still a pain in the rear.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYTBnU0lRcGdDZ3gramgvd1A5WGkvNGlsLzA1bVhjU2RFTGVXblZFZHRRa2grOVhQVTIrMEN4ODBSa1NXeWk2cjRTa0JOQUNNTlN1cE5jeGpFZVJNT3llajZmeEI3LytnZnBZV2RxYXF0aTgrZEJ3elIwOHJLTmZ2VjNzOVdQRk1VVDNrNFlvem5uNVlJMytJaENsU0FETGJaUzBrbExIM1AyNHlzaU40NDl1eVFDMFhrOUxib1VrMU5zUGMxTngzNjFnTUhaYisxdmJ4Y2k1WFNaaU00WW15U3cxZHhaTUxQZi9Rd1ZJb0NvUmFmaUxiRjlybzBGOFhFK1c4NEJ0UUE9PQ%3D%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(2609a2c9d116e7bfbf4cbbfea42e3cdc).jpg)
“My husband recently started a new hobby – rearranging the living room furniture every week. It’s nice to have a constantly changing maze at home.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEWGJXbC9oT2llTUJzTGhPM1dmaDV0ekdrVnFuUDA1NVpScTZQcEhZMFlDckJTbnVtbC84aFF0cWtPQUx6aThoWEFnMEZhRlI3TlB5ZnU0QlRETGJiY2duYVc2bTZJRTNnT0J3Sm9jbWNyQVMzdTE1dXpFMDBNYS9aVUZWRVdIVW1HZEh0bi9tUWZYZHgxeksrWUREYW9FOUpYQU9sdmtCaGZaa0cweEZpK3ArdmlVTVJreE5JOXZQdERaUWYrNTVCdXB5RUoxL25GcnRhSS9za05WWXZRdA%3D%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(61fa53171f79cd053add61d4ca7e90a9).jpg)
“I asked my husband how many pairs of shoes a woman needs. He said, ‘Just one more.’ I think I’m going to need a bigger closet.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYTBnU0lRcGdDZ3gramgvd1A5WGkvNjk5Ky8yOUNkZElHMldDUnVUNlduYlNDd3RQNEtGNGZhMFE5UmdkQWV3emRQaDhmUjRQTE5sUTRBQTRjd3RINEd3ZUN3eVNSY2REV3BYaG5oMTllZ3AxbHB4Wnc4Wi9SMmRrdzVDc3oyc3RsMHRJVHpLMUpmanAxWFUzamJDU0dUR0RkQlhxZnpFTUlaSFVzejR6WEpmaHVId25aTGVobFY2Vk02M1Y1c3dGY2xOMFlOb3JDNjUyNkhDcmNaaitrMD0%3D/MISSING+MY+HUSBAND+FUNNY+QUOTES/(72ba8d153b9e3d45a0c1c324a5ec80d1).jpg)
“My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that’s what he said. I wasn’t paying attention.” – Unknown