![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TUlZTV3EyL21rOXRFZ1JWVUErK2dwVXorWDZkN1JyUDMrSXhqYTdEdXVUZDZiZW9XTjVaOEhmM0JaZTVybXJtdzVqZ1orWFFoRXN6VG9rUktnUi9VaGQ%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(baa22d0d74846240374ca65a6a978e69).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjhWbE5IYUNBejNrL0N3czlwbFdYM1FweUMrcVZtVzNPenduQmRSaG0xR1R5SkVXM0FxMklDNWx1cmhpSENUZmpSRDVQYk1mNnJpcmV2NnpGc01IVjVhY2lSSWlCQ2l3M3NkbDFwYkZJekpBcDMxVm9paXFUZzBBRE54akdnY0tLOTY1ZytndmF2QkFONlJadEpYUytvM2hSZ2VBdXlyK1FsdDdjMUREcmNO/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(2b965feefd399873d3702834d0a971a7).jpg)
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWW9tZkY4L29zWGw4RDJOcGhoakhZbUZRYU55WVZnRTFwUythOFpEZUhidkFyRDlPc24yK1VDZUtRRUlaYmpVOU1UYlBhRmxFcWlLZ2tWZ3Q3a2o1TFk9/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(c9e74d2d4489675f6064908148d0dea1).jpg)
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aVVrNmUxUFdZMG5Lb1VOK1hqcUYyWkRzQlVSL1FvUFFYbE9QV0N2bk5Hc1dyWHJVYW9ianpxWitBRXd5NkowSTM2d0VKQno0WkZ4VFFxVElZQUJFeHNyaDEydUx3cktyaGRJa3ZBZ0duSitBPT0%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(c20fc1b890c220f0c94eef05bc3c818b).jpg)
“I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop annoying me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0RXYVYwZjJlWGpleXVtTGJkWStTdW1KVlE0b016ZDkrYm1ZNFFGSHM4dHpxRmIvSnUzNk9weGZyQXFxSHVEWkR5bHlGTWx3c3drN1cwRVludTNqdk04aXRrVVBtWDZqT1NNWDYyblFzY3U%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(9ae1c604f58387e291df29c46b7d562b).jpg)
“I may be quiet, but I have so much on my mind. You have no idea.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWTBIOEhsVjZqNTZmYW0xdExhc28xRGFnN09KWFpYdVl5Y05icEcweFMvNjJNdnppek5uNCtMUU55Yk8yUmtHaVBvVS9ILzBvRHFzVEV3RmttakVNQnQyTjhURmRmY2VDYnVZTXl6VmZuOGY%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(03bbe7ce8feb57950bae574de28f03aa).jpg)
“Pro tip: Never trust someone who doesn’t like tacos.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZS9vTHJWYk1nUkl4cDlZak9ONm1ERnpmYTNmcFZZUUJxNlJkZm9uK1Rhd1k3a1dMc1h3aHdGOXljTVBmbTh1SGJ0MExaMVRWWWlOSHBmdXJVenk2QTQ9/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(1d6a8bf4cfda98ce195ca1d1dca00fb4).jpg)
“Why be moody when you can shake your booty?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Zzl6VWdrNllHa3F6L2xFM3lqbFpOVlBlSVFPQ1k5KzdZTytIRDE4cDVrMURCV3R6bzBxN2hJWUw3Q3hlOFFUM2JnMG85THFPTmtlUE9IdTNPNkZNcDU%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(bcd69d36e5fc7ab306c113180164b718).jpg)
“I don’t have a bad handwriting, I just have my own font.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFViYU5MbGRVa0FNNWZuMTFUR2FFTlc1UkhKYU1DTU45d3pxRkFkSVp2eXNERXlWTHhPTldSemNrNWdhQ2NsbmM9/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(bf21d8d807beddbd214d368ce009ac91).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkl5RGYrWXRKdHY3NGQ4NTZXYkJtQ0t4djdFZktKN1pKclF6OXA3QmtDUHEzM2I0YTkyVjY1YjhnbU11Wk1nNzlLNjJOUlRsTkVsZG5GUytDeTN3VHh3cG1ieENmZC92dENVVnJGWmhnQWY%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(250a1f524c25b9306b5a4e94498260b3).jpg)
“I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZitXbDFmdjlwTkgwdGRpTy92WnhXQ2tOM0k1RFNYOXNnS0ZGNXRvdnYzcTM4WWd6QUtydHQ5WVA1ZGpHbTBNdUFpZFFWd1VWK3JCeklzRENNQUxTZms9/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(177f90d12c3b12b1aa477b277521f2d6).jpg)
“Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2dmNXbm9mT1BmaXhQdmc4czZYZ3B2V1Fjd3RwTWZZWEJDbUdlYm1YZ0plN3RoYW03c1RmNm4vOVNVNFVwZzlRM3lrN2szZkEwZzkwRlkvNm02eWd3NTZSeWMvTXZKT3lIalBoY0pXTkdrbURLZDVTSTdKTnFlOTIzb0tnT3NHQjJBPQ%3D%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(b1df4651d34df09e3b5e7108aae047fe).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDUzQnRMVGFUT1FGYmp3TnIvTXNKMEQzUFFzRXA5dWdvZk13N3ZGbGJDR1RyUUw5M0lwakxOYWlPNm5Cd0x1Z2ZJYm5XcGxYN3F6TzljYTFyN2lZYit6cTRRZW1OUHRWempMYnU4dEVPN1hnPT0%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(943857a8b67dc43ed23aaddee8df65a3).jpg)
“I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWk4vNFVXMnZYcU9PZGVmaXZTejcweEY2a0lSMm5Qa2JIYklNeWNjbTdlMHJROEphT0tZMTVRSGVKaUVCZldQeGc4cjF4aEsvS2I0QkNqL09iSEFDOVZZU21jL2RJWmdyMDh0T0FTTnNIeDBFQi81VURqT2pWSS9oQ3hTNDllWXl1ZlJzbS9jUzJzb1I3aWtJb2RNbXdzPQ%3D%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(7a257ada1e66c3cfc741e43d68d6d39d).jpg)
“Who needs a Prince Charming when you can have a pizza delivery guy?” YOU LOST A GOOD WOMAN QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z2IvUENXQzhoUCtxQnVkRDlmSGdNRS9sNzJPeEx3c1NJRjcxR0VGbmRtaVE9PQ%3D%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(35c3a41eca01a92f7330c7c51c283e12).jpg)
“I don’t sweat, I sparkle.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z1dvMXRZYWF5NmlyaXVHazVCMlZ1WkQvUVlmc3o0TWJpb0hzRko2Y0pVOCtaZGY1b2cwOWw5T24yRDFRQ200alFRUDgwY1huaUJhdnNDNUlWdHp2UDdhT05nZE5IRjNKRS9NWTlPV25HSnhRPT0%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(64e551da522733d4033ac9e993f9458b).jpg)
“I don’t need a personal trainer as long as there are stairs.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWUzdBY3RFQzk2eDdNVUxWZFh6TzNCNUdudUUyWWIvQ0Q1aWhuNVNFTVZ0eVdjajZLS0p6NkV1dkdhY2N1NTBpMDg9/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(350da6e9f1b013e39c6187648aecd2a4).jpg)
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjBkYSt6eGw2OTFaLzN1NnlEQ3cxVkVWcVJZVGhHVGErNkJ3emhydzNQRUl5L3c4NzVVSmNRZS82VXE4T3F4TFhuaVRGT2dkNnlVSko0aUw0K3hkd3c9/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(a657f4c39e75b383932e419acfa8b372).jpg)
“I got 99 problems, but a beach ain’t one.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZTFtOUo5elo0UVNuc2RIb1ZWSUxBR0VRbHJrRExMQTdCSlRxNEpnMStpNXNubkpFMW0zeXgvVE1ZQmZIb2ZrbGVud00zNklVMUlDUVpDY1RpN2IzWFc4QWY5V1RqT2crWUl2a21LOFNUSitpOFNFWlJnYzlXVDlYaEJmTjB5cEpvPQ%3D%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(783c5d7c17c69c09646017f34350d703).jpg)
“I’m not a coffee addict, I’m just a morning person who enjoys caffeine.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRYy9ha0NtbE1rcEVWbEk1WnAxMTNyY2trcmFYbDlpOHYraWNjL0dTQmhWOGVVMTkwR01TRUdGRWswNkI2NXQvOG1DWXNqT1lLczdGVmtEKzhoTTJKWXczb080RVJUd2p3NmZ2SUIramxHcUt3PT0%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(5f8207513de205b60dcb66c8c563bd74).jpg)
“I’m not shy, I’m just highly selective with my social interactions.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0tOR21CT0FGNk45NWkyNHVIUXpOTXRkK2w1WXVNSjR1QVZ4ZHB6NjExZ0hNNUFXNzgvZWJOVmNIejJMS0hnVXdLUG8yb2ZMRG5ydDhkR3BHakNLaFdZUzhBN2ZXUVhyR3g4UG1lSU0yS3h3PT0%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(ff1db113e7426d6a9728b12f4ff18b0a).jpg)
“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZk5zOEh0cDlFdnJ4aFByWXpKUENrRVR3czhRQUZ0aVRhVGVYTWUydlBwZytpNWgybHNSTVIxdzRsOWpnTVVVMW5KYmZvUFY2VE1BVVpYMUlwYitJRHc%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(0e90998ef370b611871bb2b6d7d2c0a5).jpg)
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZXJhRTZLNHRjTTlscXE4WFFyNWtrcXpLSmZWak0ySlk1N1lRQW5ycW9OWjJ4UmkrMTZwaU1Mc0hjRDRSMlNucGxHTWZhUTYrais1K09DSklkZitHejg%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(255bb3598d4c54c8e6fd69b7f8ac0f91).jpg)
“I’m naturally funny, someone just stole my jokes.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZjNzdnVIU0VCcytENmpVd1VWMGVCTU51VkY4b1JyNkdwVnZ0YTNyTjdKYStQdVNZZElac1FDR3o2SlhTRHdxVTk2OUhmT0FkQ0dEd2I2Z3N5bVg4WjFnaDdnUDdvZjlkK3IxdXVqaStFNmFnPQ%3D%3D/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(80d451213f47e4231d7324f33848d5d6).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0tjd3VqSUJ2bFBaMXpISjlvNWhLK2NMT2dsb2t6dkViNElXdEFEKzQrUlNGRk9SNkhvWGU3ckRrYWh6dktJQmU5cEFuSlVIeXFMWVhabERtRlhadkE9/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(457881cf2e7b64c049b2a407d8982594).jpg)
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY3FzVTUvY2doanBqQ083d2VIREZBMFhGVEhnZDZsTjZpTXgyV1FJNFozTWw1MG9ETDA5bG9QM2xiUWVoT0hGUUE9/BRILLIANT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(c0dd7314a009b6285f4529c9130ecd31).jpg)
“I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.”