![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWktqczVMVGlqblJJMXh0TlEvdDgwdUpSZFI1UGZjTEFOMnY4NWZmYnlObkJ0RTJCR3crdHU3ZE1HR3hINzlCYnlDT2p5UkkyaHU2NDMxYmpIeTRUYm9lSTNkdTc0WVQ1dGhDYWkxdTBqN0ZDRmN4Z0tET1ZWbEtEOTFYbSsvV0wvOHZoYUVtQ3ZTWE4wNnpFSXQ1cHlBPQ%3D%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7c282881dc48945ee0b9dc1c503100e3).jpg)
“Behind every successful person, there is a lot of unsuccessful years.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMVpWUjlpQVJYelNUbFZnY0VNWFlUeTVxVkR3aU9mTGpwTXUxT0h2alNkc0NiMVZnUlg4aTA4dEtack0vTGE4SHlwTng1U0RIcXFCTFNzT0FGVktxVjRxZ0RXWk5MMlRhekVYd3pCWXFLTEFWZ3JyaDNyV1pKdklQVG56TzVSZUdZamsvMHNTVDRWNFAyOUdpc3gzMm80akk2OFZnU3A0d1RyZ2lOQ3cxQTNpZz09/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(80061386aac2cfe3b7b3e9df0c766bd8).jpg)
“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HVG8yZHVuT1BMb1JHaHh1Z2xxbWgwSXVWY3ZtMGNNcHIxSWRsTk1DWGVhK2ZZOFQ2QThRWGdCNjhsaUVOaXlpT1RyNDdJc0x3TjR2NUgvbmQ2VGh0VkVqV2t3VURFWnk5S0FmVi9xbHNyVDJRdUVFMXpLUkU2Y3d1dU9NSmpFWEY1dkxKcXRWdE5lUjR2dE1UU0gyelJn/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d6c28abd90ae6928e63260a4f344009b).jpg)
“I don’t think inside the box… I don’t even know where the box is!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNTdUdlJxeSs5ajdJdWNVanM1aDZjRHNkblA5TDRQem56TEVxT1g3R1Vham9WV1A1cmdNdENZWnBCb1RyMTBMclUzQS9MUi9UUExzWlVkbFcxRUd6V213WnVra1REVklzWTIvMWp4dVYrdEdBT3FLVE5OcVUwSGs4MERhSzZncGJmR2tHYVNQdHpoaVRKdUtJQXZIOVllc004NUhQMGdvVnRkLzczSzZiRXRUVTl5UUFSMmV0eFlLak9DTk1BV0ZTUT09/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7d10c290055d5770722e3725acd6ae8b).jpg)
“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOFRVYU4wRFNBeXpadTJBa1VkdU5mZUUvZm1DMUowMGM4YUE5dm5JZW5jMFVld2o0RUNqLzlIcmVWaUo3eWVPa3pLUWtzdnNBK1dWVi92S2o3M1J2eFc3ZVdlVXFTWEo0MnArRG9tcVcvRzV5UW1mU0tYWExOaDFaTkJOOU9RYWd3PT0%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3d16d87662a864d256d662e840e71aa7).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMFhJaXE4dEIrRUpVMWpZOU1NYUpGSDFTSCs5a2hYMUNaRHJmak05NU1MTTliNUZpKzRkVzY4aHZTU1NmVGpPMWVUeGJaWVpGZHRvMG9lTGRoMEpIQUcwMHNDd2ZxWDZHYkQyWjNQVHFFVjFUQVZXZEVvLytjWVBTTTU0RzJ6Z2UzanFoN3l3RDViVXRIeGc0SXpUQ1YwPQ%3D%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(bed0d61c67dcd3c69d002dab63667c4c).jpg)
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeEVMbmRTYmI4NXRiNkRKMUVEcUdCSU9uWGdBZnpOa0p3SXllWU53SENZb2YzbmRVSFBuSXBwb2FhSEc3TG5jNytrUU9aejVnbzg4VnlabXBveDk5ckR1RFJGaEhsaFRHVlczU2dKT2tRd3lMZHMyYys0TkhqWG81OGs0aXlzVTNKOHVwOG9VVHJ2Z0RBUk04KzRaREpuREZnT0tnV1BUb3lXWHhzMGM5MnNkNTg0NkdIaVZHYi9QekNuRDYwRS9Ydz09/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6022327c71e20fd27242c3f4218c0831).jpg)
“Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.” – Laurell K. Hamilton
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeGtRQnZFOTN3ZzAwVmV0SHpHR3N4cXN5RHBocHM5ZUwwMWdYM1dQV0taY3BkYW1xTDFTT1J6cXZaU0Q5Z2J5SmRYYy9WSWdYM2E2bE9JSDdsQnNxVnpRa1Nyd1hleW9KZ2FzcGYyZk5BZk4xRzF1b2JsWXpPOG5ZUUpiUkFkd2I1ZkVmVlBSRndjcWp5RFVLWnlyZkNkUU9Sb3FlZGtxUUxJalRCRkJxS3ZjMGtmd0p1ZkhMUUtaQVF2M3dNUEV4Wmh5TzdYUE1Da3RWSE1kVUhxTnJjZURtVlkrTU9pZUZHRmcybXRGd3FtZ3JlcG9RQW9yb2NNcGFZMEd4Vk5QRmc9PQ%3D%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a31f5e82c2e45c9d73c953a2148372ac).jpg)
“My doctor told me that exercise is good for my body, but my body is already in pretty good shape, so I’m exercising my right to not exercise.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNDJaTkhUYnpZUythZS9sSm5teEtwZUV2MGp3UE9RVmlqY3MwMWw4TVlWVmN4NUM0SVpQM0ZScWdTcEhQUjkzKy9jT2dBSDBoV3BCV09NZG02ZEo4MXVpVWptZ1d5YTdwYkx2SURSMldFdTh1ZlVqd2ttbXJ0MlBEYmNVQTBPYSt6V3Y4dW1kdVdBZzN3TkJvVzFsaGplQVpZaEw4cWgyclNjbE9XVTZnQitZ/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(1b0d15a35cd2405d80f3089bbde0c498).jpg)
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMXFjUWRCTE5tRmpKWnZPODZXQ1cwL2lsbklFNGxTZGZKeWlLU3BtcVVkV1pNV1Fzem1vcnNIMG1pRk81aHNUdzhIS0JRVE9pNGw0aXFEdFNrZVRVbEFxUmpxRHBMaDJXTjJWZTFNWkdBU3hoNnh6dmNSQkRMa3padEZuMnN0aC9nPT0%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f63fd8e7cfeb512878dbe6e968d5124a).jpg)
“If there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNUlGNXUzZzRVSUo5STdNRGNxZFhJdjdUamVHQjRIMTNIVjhxK0hlQm0wSWxGenhCYnlDakhKVlNoaTZZRWMzcWVIZFNHb09mejFlbVBjN2ZFQ1lOQi9PUlJnSi9BYlJITHBGeGloQXVEdW50U1ZHMkViMUpnQkNPR0ZSNHVKckRheFl0MUZCU2xqKzY4N2hYNGQ2Y1EwWU5vZFpvS2k2RnVFVzZMMGJDWEEw/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e77930301fe2348202f2bb9926adca66).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMU9ibGFCeGI1TEcwUWg3cmtWL0VyN2RISWF5V3k0Yy9sa0hrbU9qdEVOREh1MFJYd0I3d2pEakRmekdBVGk4OVlXSEdGV2FCZW9IaEM3VmtWRDJpQVZBVHRqRHVJSGN6WlBVd042SkRjUWxNTjFLdVZwRWdPeTUwVFVIQmd2b01UUWNPVDJQZ1MrUWpjemRiSWhyOFY0PQ%3D%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(23debd785a3447a8d107ea5639f7851f).jpg)
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0dmZXIwb2NMNFJsSGRHV2ZVdGZLajl0MXN6eUpqT0RFQ3NoazRDMkZlZno1eWNNUFdXRkliY25BbEdpREVUbWtnTFZsTXgrcmVlTWtRc3B4TTV2VXRhcUVSaDI4ZFhJMEpVWEV6V1VtSDgxbHAybC9pcGQ0cTlZS2lFenM1eDZzTDhvdTI2MC9CNDJSY241OTZaUTlzeFJubjN2RmdDWjF5ZC8yTnZTNHpIdExPdVVPZTc5REk2eXlVaGtRN25ENnBsbjRERitUNWNoaWVhM2ZyeWU3czhoQVc1a1BjbXpiMlZNdXB6WHphcQ%3D%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b6e26b7bb6184be627357bce5fe913dc).jpg)
“The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you’re with someone you’re not supposed to be seen with.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMmpFSFAvS2pzdDZWSER2QkxTK0Zjck8vZ1F1UDJIanVvWVdXRktMNXpIRUZOc2tsN0twTmFQbGRwV3hrMmpwK00zczZYZGRwVzZ6c2NPY0pDaytNc3Vockd3QlQ5aHdscmVWSDNYZWRlbnhjZzZ1MGYxdmtZR3Jxa3hjOXE1MC8wPQ%3D%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(8f83c3e08100b47cb137c683f465bd8b).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown QUOTES FROM JOHN WESLEY
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeXdHalcxS1M3dXJFM3llYTgxMFlucXpjSmJCNzMrWkZjNGg1c2l1S0tSWkhlWEdrRk5LajNWTjNRUExMODUrdlJWQ1pCeFEwYlMwODdGRURLNHRkaWZ5TmlKSUtjbU16YkFsOFgyRCtWVS9jOGVHSFVORHNFMDlqNWxBYmEwanBBPT0%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(03d7a77320097372a35b3cc35125ebba).jpg)
“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMN2R2b0E2TkYyQWZYZTkrQ2FTOTV2SGkxeDIxT2RSOHRtelVjcFAxRnF4djlnZGt0ZExCa1ZOdGVwNG5CY2tLd1JkTFVudmFLLzUvTEJhSHJoUVZPWHcxbjdZamhRQ1NKSHFyYnR5U1p6TW1wdXY3UGx2NnlyUzZVZWNOd2d4QWtnPT0%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(eccb4c85f96e2e921cf5c91903093e78).jpg)
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOW42eElEaUZtckVwTzZNc1dSNENJdjR1OUFrU1ZTTEhFWlpPVDk2aVBwTVB0cmo2bVNyU0NFbGtUYm1pb29rMXdNa1ZsRDBrdzFnMzZJZE9UcDA1c3BDYzdHVmszNjZaK1ExMVFMUVFGVkE%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0ad0562c4710ffd57ebe003c61b1b0a7).jpg)
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMK0ExY3YzbmpiNk9UMzF5UzU2SzhJOHRQdmVPOWM4emtiVWY1S2p2ZTdwSzF4eERQbUpMdlpqK2tycDdFSXNJaWlYbjRhZ2p0a1hQT0FHWDhqL1dmb1Zqcms0b3MrVFBqRWJnSWlub3NhbVRLQStENmpwbzQvM1dTZlZKS1RVVHRpdGN6NU84dFk1WkM4WDQrQk9TSU5RPQ%3D%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b374be1c18d4e7960107c524f62a1b7c).jpg)
“If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?” – George Carlin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMzlmZ2QxWEFOUWh6UVp6OXBEcllZQ2pFeGtsaVBZQ1RpVU0xcXQ3WGlNNjVaZ0V2SnhQeGMxOHRHUklvdmd3OFp0eDFnYVNRblhlUENLYjVuUGduODJtamtPVHNTNFRDRlJrSVlUS203a2xZUWZZTE5nR1Z0V3dWdGRYZXEzbmtNPQ%3D%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7a471c24b2231d1568dd069ec2d304c5).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on my own gravity experiment.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMitvRFhkcWl1aDA4VkVMaWNjVmFwSnhMeEVuN04xekJxV0JkS0g2cmxkdG5ycDNKN2lOdmpFNUgxcFFoQW9IcUdiMGcvS1AwWTJJQ3dwWUZQRUxtMEhHd05FZ0NHWmlETHVIY2xkaEx2VnJXQzVrUlZrTXc1Rk00YUV3TG5UMzhrbDlPR3JqaWNqd3ZpbmxQczlmVmdlTWZ3cGhxemdVS0pRTk14NUJpL0dF/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(98380b3903408f4c0ae3080dc5c7e618).jpg)
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” – Earl Wilson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMXB3ZlBtdEtqS3l2UmNKR2VRUlJIejREc1kwTXNhTmxsYlpraExUM3JCOFhVWE0xUDk1YkU3TE1KdWszSitEa2x3eHFYNUhLWUJoSzdyRHhvZ2VUZGRrTjg3bWVLaDYyRUF6UVFnVEtWL3U%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3ccdda3c26f9b18386a11083293605be).jpg)
“I would lose weight, but I hate losing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMN0VCSERkdm1KVWM4UTJXdjZHV1hwRWs0VWdyWHNYTkdoVkEwV21GaCtYTjk0OU1QbXMzOWQ5Ti8rY2NFZ1NLaWFNRWJLUEVNcThkQ1d2SWMvL0d3R1F0L0Y0SHBVbHBqaFN0WkJTMGY5TXFoYm5yRkt4M0h3aUR0S0U1bGhmbkRxL3MyMTRUMEkyOHpDTmg0N1hrOFpJPQ%3D%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e2a6275cb9842b095a0e71e93fed7063).jpg)
“The safest place to hide a dead body is the second page of Google search results.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMN1lmb2RUWll4QWQrZzdsbWdBOTMwVWdzOVlJM0FtYTFTY3F6WU85YTZwWUlnTnVhaDNPM1kwUGRnL1dPUUxKQk83bXIxYWhUWTQxejdiT05qRFNob0x2NDRzWG8wdmlVWDRrZ0VlcUROaThXVWxSbTg4WnBtei9aRklQY2FZalA2S0ViQlRlMThPbk83dVJibjhuSlZmZTZ4SjVabVJ0ZFNPYlBYeGZDdExO/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(273026a9cae157f2c1850b01d99580a2).jpg)
“Inside me is a thin person screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMkd6UFg1eUE5ZEQ5bnovSVoxY2lpTXZOYXNGVlJiNjFsOGpIR2Nkcmh3WGk5VEJrbnhaNS85MnV6YXdrdWZ1dHBoNVZrQXBWTVJRc2tzamt2bHNWV2IyU0hsS1Y2eGlZMXZKOHFLczRqbXNRPT0%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(efa6806aec781a9f9ca1c6227fc3f673).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeEtqVUVJZlhHMFF5dU9pWGViREtRdlMwV2YwN25iQmM0SlNYTkNMOFpNTk5wR1ZNbDhqRTVZRzQyWkxkaEdMTTZ5VUhIdE9raVRuclV3M0QvajlPNmxVYjhwejVjRGovTDlLaHh0czF5S1Z4eVN0eWRzSGFGNXlHaFRjSHBxaTg3SFNBQ0NRMmtZbXJLVW1hdkw4dWQ0Ny9neitaeDhQczdNOVJnY3hwTW5WblRlY2E0UURRRlA2TVF2UGo0MStuUT09/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(27c8047494bc4e3c3698ed1437f6eea8).jpg)
“I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HUXpuazZiWmxia215TXViWXN6QmNMWU9nWFlyMXZQeVBsMmlPbXBJVzJGMW1Zb2dwVER4UlBSZnFIZWdnZUNvd0dLNFB0SzExNlpXVW9GOW9GMDdHU0VrZjc5TS9DNE8rOUNqa2h3Y1UwVUxBPT0%3D/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(61e264b8cbef90f694e000eb04ed2695).jpg)
“I don’t need Google, my wife knows everything!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeU95KzJZR1N5S3A4Q3lDamRJcjBLL21mbUhvOUZPaVpSYUVnYzNrZ2w3ak1FRXU2WjVLTURDQ0hpZmFhMmRDNGg1SkhZMUVreGpFaFVGNFhoMXpmRjRJbVJORUM4cVJVV2FPMFcraSswamFVK0tBVlBraWs5Wmd6bEFSendwTmlNQ1RGMFZXZzhOb3JWUUwyUXR6c3ljTkNQNmJoak55YzR6ano2Y0crUDhT/GOLD+QUOTES+FUNNY/(88362d1b3b2b05f32a6bef1b539812a2).jpg)
“A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.” – Jim Hayes