![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUnhGcDVGNXZwUjJsWHdQMjVUanl3ZkhNWjNaTlpCNHFXUUU4Q051M1kyc0wxdWV4ZTI1a3JodE40VXJYRjJtRWo1RER6R2hkZVVIUHNKbG44OXpsTnRmb3ZMblZkN2FRZzg2T2toSkd6R29vaTJ5bEdJL3djVzEzeWlidngzeCt3PT0%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6d5c3664f382c6334695facb6020886b).jpg)
“I used to have functioning brain cells… then I became a mother.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUmw3MFcwbHROL0Z0WUM1M29walRzNmhVSnBKWjRUKzRYaElUTVNWV0pFY2gyTlkwNnVUUVZoMDZCY1NjSTQ5Q1hXUFVubTJSanRMS2pqY0RTNVFacHl1S1h3S2dHOXJZck1pbTN5aU9DRmJ2RU1NMVhHbkx2eWc5K1N2VXh4ejdSZVEzNng0RDJyYlp2RDEwQWdGVW5BPQ%3D%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a645e826c85cb022523e5e8dd67705da).jpg)
“I love being a mom, but some days I just want to sit on the couch and eat cake in peace.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWTk3LzZwY0VuT1R0eDE1OStxQ3NUUzVIRCtmbDZCeThpTEVZRms1ejcyU1J3L1ArNGNueGdrc3FkMW5QaDVicDFkT0R2L3NJb3cxT1dpZ1RJOXNSVHE5WkRiOVlYalJsWlZ3OVlnQlhNVkpxL2xNdWoxc3RqYml1bDE1TC80SmR3PT0%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0fa0d983761e80ce9f793e2d951ab762).jpg)
“Whoever said parenting is a walk in the park obviously didn’t have kids.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkZvSldTWFlhR3l4a0VJTlhPaFl4aHRFRFI5OWtyZHR3RWcxNUZBS2VnK3MxYzVyVkFsN0NodEJmamNaQnJoRkpnZXRlaW53N2syOVFKTGliVUFmL1BDZ1FKdU1DRzVERElwUTR4ODBha1lDV2RmdVY0SFlTb3dUZis2OXV2d3N3PT0%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(638deccdb0dfc899f6ad9715791c824e).jpg)
“Being a mom means always having a snack hidden somewhere in your purse.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZlMvNTdpZUwwMkVweUErYms0N0szOUFIbGdUUWJPd3ZVOFJyUi9oMmRmZVFWQ21SYWFXYmpzOWcrN0Zkeng1TEY4Wk9lQXR1Z2huKzBpQ1dmZFQxK0NJMnorb2lRWGZXQ1ZxaXhRSm9XcGo%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f86e93cbec830389b743e10460031391).jpg)
“My house is clean and tidy… said no mother ever.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUzFTSGdSMzRxMi9JeDJnU0t5dU9uVmNURlZ2VzBGVjlRMG8yakl0Y2x4TFFGdVZsNStpek5vK2FhWGJxTm9zRHU2WkFFenhST2RYM2ptOEpqV054ZGpOb0NYeTJZeCtOSHUwNTlpOFh3TGo%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3a860f02e6d2a3f4cd12eae044eeb74e).jpg)
“Mom: a title just above queen, but a job just below superhero.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkNWNXFST2JYUXY1WDRGalRmYVhLOVkwNWt6R3VZM2FxNjBOcEY4T0Z1TG02RHVvQVBJendIU0VPTmJFajc4a1BBaGZSZVVmYUdJQTVYNjFUWURQRzB4UHQwYlNER1ltbnNJQlFjZnUvTDRXSHZTb2dFdlUreW0vNUR1cjRxejY1bnBDdnE3VFl5dDk5dEtFSkh3Y1pNPQ%3D%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e2b3691790bf8989560d8fd716312749).jpg)
“You know you’re a mom when going to the grocery store by yourself feels like a vacation.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV01VVG8yK2dRZStNcGVhSnYzTGhWUEFsc3ExTk10UDBkK0QzL3ord3RzeTltN3hQNHVzYlZKVlhWdHdJRVhDbHhCd3lZSGpGNUxpZzlFUlN6NXd4TEE2RnY1ZTAxREZrTS9BN3B5UWJpOHJQbDhiZEFlUFRBNkVBTWhOVmJlK1NiVzV5UUlOWHZzL1k3VXhhMGxhRXIwPQ%3D%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7c7d6f314feb1b3ffdab374ec7d1bb0c).jpg)
“The quickest way to get your child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXNOZnR1SncwK2dxZXZlMGhNaWlaY0dyMXh3OVRTY08yWmx1ODN0VXdpZXN4dm1CdWVXbU5SVW51R3hmdmtac0RYQ0paaUE0VW14SWd6MlZHSGdqaVRjU0liN2NMeC9HSG5wMlNya3hTVU13KzYzMmZrMFlOVmI2MGxSeExCdGpRPT0%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(52a0fdbea90d64b2e5d03932be307274).jpg)
“Motherhood: the hardest, yet most rewarding unpaid job you’ll ever have.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteFMyS0kweWluVmNKOFdocXJMdkZlaEdHQ0VGQVdZMVVDWlBFakd5YWRFdzkwUkpmUFRkcEpLRytqTXBocHdxNXlpZlp5eUpYTm16aVB3VzdVcUhGaVY%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(964a020abf0ff8d715a0941fa474f8fe).jpg)
“I used to be a cool mom… then my kids learned to talk.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXNOZnR1SncwK2dxZXZlMGhNaWlaZE9EdWxZMzhpZW50NHU3UnAzand0Ylo2djB3KzdhamNlb1NKeWp6Yno1bXlBSVN6NElTY21KcXl5MkwvNDlCM0VUeG5ic2lBajdwcWZjdzFPOVFnODRlL0JVejZQc0N2anpBRTFDNCs2TXl3PT0%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(92efc3e867f191326a63ff2f6121af8b).jpg)
“Motherhood is basically just a bunch of conversations about poop.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjVrR1FUWUhIWXlncDFwaWlROWxUWG0wTGxoazAyNU0ySHAzR0d1UTlHT1ZneEFFY1lobklsQURUZGN5SXBjQVIwc3lXZ2s2Y2ZjQU45QzVpelZSQWh0NmgyZ282Q3diNmdXcmM0TE9KQzFiTGVyV0MrOFc0WTArYmVZeVoybWJRPT0%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(fbb0dadf05e249f03d5624f30891d646).jpg)
“I love my children equally… but I definitely like the quiet one more.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXQ5YVdSc3ZkTmNVUzh1cy9RL1pySEM0Y296S0dmcUNNRjNtTHlPRS96Qkk0MzFhOENYUDBjUnVGaW5hWVRpYVk2UkZsdXJJSy9yL2xNYUpmMUEyVkhRMG1DWTU2TnJlRDV1VzM2cys4NmVpNWtsbFY5YXArZVdnLzg5YmtWOVNRYXhhMVlkUjVsT1g5cit6ZHdBQmlNNWNucFQ2c2hlVVowYmtRcWUwcmd1/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(18d3647608ae901d2d7b76e2664c6427).jpg)
“Parenthood: when going to the bathroom alone becomes a luxury.” TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY QUOTE
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxYcnQveC9ic3RZZ2VOdEIzbWdFTEhBa0JFcVZSaG1admxxVG5WT0hha1pibmdNT3l6RjFCd213QTJYbkxIVjA0aFRuZm82R08wVmRZZ1BiUGZRalExaGprLzVTQXM5OEpYcUlCWjJmd3M%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6c6985c1bdcf3f67dfba81d892190854).jpg)
“I never knew what tired was until I became a mom.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWDNDZGYrTE9oN0wvL0xsTW9UL0tFOTNwcitwZTFqZFRFTHpQSkYzNnpQTHNGMnFNeGpPdHd4QVEycVAveWpnblFEMEh0eDkwVXgvU3V6eDExV0N6NkJVbTY2bjZOL0tSa0xDYjhHazE1SGFzaGpBQVFoVnpLUUtjK05tOHBhWjRRPT0%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7dca0216c54aad66c0a36ca20d7c8cd7).jpg)
“As a mother, I have mastered the art of pretending to have it all together.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZGdqUjhuazlEek4rcDJzN1JTbHdTYStWK0lsOFdRY0VZSTN2VFBmMnpvdTQyd3NOa0Z2dkM1cnVlczhkY2hSb003eVNJUTNqQUhVVjFWWVg1TGdWMDljZ1NBR0RLQzlDclpyOCt4ZkVvemc2WEFVd1ViMktzSmhpRzc4MFVuRXdnPT0%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6f20e4464fd5e41580b259b015073e87).jpg)
“Some days I feel like Mary Poppins, other days I feel like Cruella de Vil.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXNOZnR1SncwK2dxZXZlMGhNaWlaZHM2dFZFL2tpaTd5Vzh3QldtVElBTkFSa3NMVHQ3aEh3SkFlaU96NXEzTjJ0UlpqRk1kbFdMY3M1blJwNTdFY2dmd3dMMm9XVzJUV3FWaXhOTVEySDM%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c707e4adf3cc045de4a75579f2765cd7).jpg)
“Motherhood is the ultimate crash course in multitasking.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkJQKzh0anZZdW9mUlNwZUpYNVFwTU5BZENIQnI3Mlc4b2tLTmRlVFczWkx6NW5ONTZUZ1pPcW1VUmQxREQ1ZllwczAyVERlY2cwNytyVlA5RlRJQ2FiSXFDNjZDcHF4M2lhY2pROXc0UnZZY2F6bG9MN2FGbnRFU0lmY21zOUVMV0VSNjlGR2VQSWRwMm5vRUF4OGRzK3Zlc0gwdWJWTzF5VHZrMlZ0NkdqWFByMW9mTXE0M3RhTVFHUzFUYUNmZHE0MS9jc2QrMmhjUy9WcmVFdVQyVT0%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b46f50c19b8684ba37370b11a2d77368).jpg)
“Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteUk3OWMvUFJFKzYzUHVFd0U2dkRLaFM4REx3T2RLNUlOMGNJVHBpTTA4bmx2NnhPVkNIYktGajJxa2JXQmF6NW9aSG93ZTZMSVRDZWxBMm1Db1BLNWV0NHdjOFZPYUNPQ3BkdGpDNUVPVTl3PT0%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(ed62c0b95db8df4954739604e386f5c6).jpg)
“I used to spend money on clothes; now I spend it on diapers and baby wipes.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUlhBd0k0N3FDRGpLK0xDY1ZraXNmQkZCYmhlbGw4SXM0ekZmK1VSYWNYUFM5eFYxZHJnK1FPS1lWR05CUklGWXQxRVdOU1RnS0hvR0Npc3JLU1htQzh5S3kvenJoSGRRSStGeWZGcCs2OWJqYlFuM01XbmNDS010dGJBMFFwZU5JM2w2YUpoR2FUR3FxYWtzVEFLbXBFTFVQdVFRU3prOUpWdFlJTzRCQjJK/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(412a3164a5b905c362b1ace0d5181981).jpg)
“My kids call me ‘mom’ because ‘ninja warrior princess’ isn’t a real job title.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWXFGTUJidEVySVVtamFaV1N3a2d6K2M1MEZUUU5JaCtJUmppK050Z09UaGcwbTY4L0FaUmxBRzJpK3VzMCswRnlhVlBvUHZrUVB6b0hDQkpIdFBoVDA1U09TVjA2Y1NzdXJvZVYrT1g2UzhOUEwyOE9COTVsaW9PVWQycXNwSjhyYURlMWxXU2RlWHFhWjQ3d3l2dmtZPQ%3D%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(40806d867b3f08a8610d458095ce0853).jpg)
“My life is basically just a constant search for missing socks and sippy cup lids.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXNOZnR1SncwK2dxZXZlMGhNaWlaZXNFTWNQcjhjODJWYWdxYk9NQnVFOHVNcnZPTlIyWXVjNGNKc1ZjVkIxbnQrYU1NVzhrc3cxSUxXcFBhWGxxcExwSE5wQzZEMzFKMnVsVmIralloTlJpdkx4L0NOWHNEcWJTRW9zUE1HSytMWVo1TWg4SjlzNXkrWFFNMWtFRXNIZjhLdjlzRGl2dkM3dVc0Q3BRZ2Jnem55VzdaK0FvOG51eVNYNE8xRmdXZz09/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e268f47fd331941fef6a734a37dc212f).jpg)
“Motherhood is like trying to hold a beach ball underwater – it’s exhausting and sometimes it slips away.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWnJGd3RHSTdrV0w2THhTSUFBZjlkNFVPdmdLUU44Z0FUUjdZbTk0bTIwZlNIVFVSQzF6bStKcytITkxlTVB3M2t5VWlkVkd4aTEzbGZWOW5PNU1Tem42dUN6bEplcS9SdzBTdXhyb1VXdjdrWVJpdjB6Tm1nOXc3WG1acUNJTTNKaFliREZqUFN1MVptWkZtSEZhM0VMTFFqejBvdXVXZjlGQkdQaWFmTGhTZzJKb0svbmFJMW1qYkl3V1RzUzY1UT09/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(86a9f054da14ef93e7d0110fe55ce251).jpg)
“There’s no better alarm clock than a toddler standing next to your bed at 5 am, breathing directly into your face.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBtdzMwek1uZm9yL1R4NEw1VmphRzBaSEpVaXdZL2xuZW9hNHRSd2MwbnlFWGNOUm00MUJqSzNnYnhIRWlzUUJEeDM3NFhPaFhIL3lxVmxBSTNCSHdlZXFRNDhIVGRVZWZRMlVnd0lJY29hdUJ3PT0%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(71818404bd9a9d1b3fe34334f8a072fb).jpg)
“I used to think I was busy before I had kids… I was so wrong.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXNOZnR1SncwK2dxZXZlMGhNaWlaYzdyamJqZElOSUVLeDFsZFpjNWtGbjFlZHhTcVJMaTVjN1lkL2h3N0pWT3N5YVJlWFVWTDVOc3pUUEQzUFlVOUhmY0JsOVZBQ1E3R1p3Y0EyQVJXeFZwbGh2WWVRVlUvWEw0YjM4Q2NRa0xEMEY5bjlRNzhoeVAyOEtoQzdmeUJzPQ%3D%3D/MOTHER+QUOTES+FUNNY/(55b928c28f971b9afe3904cd64fb4e15).jpg)
“Motherhood: the only job where you can be simultaneously exhausted and exhilarated.”