![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3NERkhXNmozVm1Db3NidmgxVlMwQTAyc3FMallocUhxZmdBcVFPMzlHV1VnWEVJS2pMY2xhZ0VtRm11dUJ5clkvcFRWbTJUeWJxYkEyZlZVa1lPYXBteTdnUzU0M21QK2NscWJ3NDllV2ovaEsyeS9vWGFTTDNSTC82cU1wbDdRPT0%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(74c92b55ae0983ced4853b8188bc5266).jpg)
“My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating. Starting tomorrow.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUVZsa2Y2bjJLbFRXYnhFdUxvVTlYTHJsL2JQRVZ0RGVRbS9xNStGMkU4M3d3NGRIak5hN09xKzVwNXRnamgvT2NEQ1oya0E3SVh1REQrWndCSEc0eHEyY3NHdE9SYmlEa3grUVZaYWFoNUhpcHIxck5vVmNXOC8wZnU1N09VYkZ3PT0%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0816046345f1020daa51f10c1659ab60).jpg)
“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUmNlemNoU1JzZTZONk5DbXVaSWl2T0hVN3lBQXRBWkR3T2J5bmRMMVlPS0VTTVVHYnFsM25vTXBoSUR4cy95RmJCeFJKdXo5bm9BKzh6NytzcHNySGhqRFRxREZxOUtTQnZFUkRkSXRDdWg0UlVmQTJjcTRad2F1UzFRR1RvL3hkYU9hS3lmWUVmRVFmdWZnSWdoYkpvPQ%3D%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(eb58c6012a8b0662e55a3d796327013c).jpg)
“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWi9kYzljUW5iQUQzcnNRVzNtYTBJOVpVMllnOGhkQ2lDT0NmYUY5bW16ZnplREpXeW5yUGpnVVczZTB0YXV4NXRJajBRRjBXc0RKd3owc0Z6VFBaQlI5MjQ5Y3RQUHZ1ckpvVlBTbkpPUEJuemJPNzFhOUptSVJzdVh2cHZ0QTYzVmVSTXZhR0UrYld2V0llT0IwaDBIQUt4TEFac2prbU8zSlJ5Qm1QL0lOMHlndFpjQjhrVGhDZTVsWXVMNTZJWVcyaHVMcnFFSGlKQlovQjZwUE5Pcz0%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d373163d3e6890d9e7dc53cd7108f1eb).jpg)
“My New Year’s resolution is to achieve the body I’ve always wanted. It’s called ‘Netflix and no-chill’.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcExDYU55V1ZXeUhzR0tDYUpJSXlVMjJMNDJxSWJ4clAvR1hlSGlPM1g3ZFZUR3piZmFzYlEySG5NWDBYV084UExkdGNuZTZtK0pQMlZ3ZDV2WFZUSmJOaWkzZXJrN09hclFJZjVLMVB4OGthT0xEYThGTnBiUnhMck00cGxDL2RmVkd1NXhKZ3N6STlqV25qZVpncmtHQT09/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(886506c55d3098028bfc6360410b7bdf).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUmNlemNoU1JzZTZONk5DbXVaSWl2UGR6L08yTnE0RnlzZ001cUJTTlRsby9kcFdIN2FpOCtFcXFXZGJhZ1pFWTdNeVkybEFJSWZIQW9NZE5BczJSYjNWblROYkZ5QStMUVJYbDVOTDhIZHVCdEs3M2dFeVNvYld3V3l2OXBzVzk5VmxkRHhFUnRmMmdVWjlnZUVIY2dRPQ%3D%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(8ba140b7572053e7cfa90bd3c1c2a1f5).jpg)
“I can’t wait to ruin another year by making impractical New Year’s resolutions.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYmNrUk1mU0UxWGhFR1A2MnlNZHpLemxRaGg4b1pIeThTMjlFdGRmbUJ3dzJVTUVpR1h1eUJPNlpWL283aHg1enJSYk9jWDJlc2dxblJ4OGh6K0s4QzcxV1RrM3FySDNaeDdFRGp3cStDVXdpamtpbStoMyt1bnFCNlhjaU9tVkdRPT0%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(86cea31cad400f578f1a2bf78a5de50c).jpg)
“New year, same me – because I’m already pretty fabulous.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZXhjMHJNU2lWeXphVWd1QUNsbUc5M2JQV0pibjl6Yzk0VzBMTGxsL01mL0g5RlhjM2Y2WE5IR3dLTGtKdmZ5bVBwZXg0ejRhQ21CK1k0blpIc2xpSkRhcHZKOUVJSkY0NTVjd3Q5a3ZRenNFOTFONEQ4YjEvNnFVcjNqcDBxMDIxdnJrOGk0M2RKUlFkQzdNVGNEMFZKVWl2Q3ZWbkltZVNFTklYUmpObnhJZndpTS9ZbExRdk16RG84V0pza1RTaz0%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f176e65250da3a5d618bcd7d57495f9e).jpg)
“I’m going to order a pizza five minutes before the new year, and when they arrive, I’ll say ‘I ordered this a year ago!'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUVZsa2Y2bjJLbFRXYnhFdUxvVTlYTHJsL2JQRVZ0RGVRbS9xNStGMkU4M3d3NGRIak5hN09xKzVwNXRnamgvT1hCZ1RIRXVOdkF5UnQyTEl6L3M5aXhqckFmUU0zUHh5RE1sc1FxSVhwSTI%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3c872d03cd43198eeb2c31f407a2060f).jpg)
“May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions. Cheers!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcEFUKzlUUy92dzFwYVhxUnFOMVdzT25uUUpkaGlrcC9yQzhvdWIvcUJDWG1oelFpZUt0L0VKbm9sYmhQSEY0dVhkTk1OS1FlNVJyaVdyREhnUzUzd3ErVU1QYWxpVU91UFBJaHJtdGFhaDdUZm9pOWxpaDUzTmV0K3dDZnN0NlpEZzcvRHFxMUxVdGxWVTAzNE5LdGx1UT09/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(98f427d3b023fa119bd11ee82fc1fa0e).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution – gym membership, $50; new workout clothes, $100; actually going to the gym – priceless!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWi9kYzljUW5iQUQzcnNRVzNtYTBJOVpVMllnOGhkQ2lDT0NmYUY5bW16ZkVuN0g1V0dPK0FMSEZySFNSWTVMcUF6b2xRS0JqRmJSZk5QZnpUaE5pL1VJeFNTWVZUU3FNcFBWVTE1ZXk1YWVOZ3d4QkNtSXdvNExWdUxVMUdkc2R2bWUzNmc2TTh5dmNzdVN0M2JhUXFjQVgzYWxtRXFmSDRVcU9LVUN0d3B2/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e61e9b80f014ec38321c151936187e90).jpg)
“My New Year’s resolution? I won’t be doing anything I’ll regret in 202 Oops, too late already.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWxTUDA0YjF5VVR3YWFSbzBZbS9WQWhGRVprK2M2Tm9SeGttb3JYUlR1VWhlaWVTckl3TTIrVWI0UDVYT2d1dmRyQjdmTzl3V1c2b1FOcWlKWHlzeGllN1hxYkE5cUIrVmxrYUtXVE1QbHpQQXpkY0pVbUlnMnpBOXVaVVlEMkxITWxuNEVhd0hIT2NxaFF1YW9sT29Nck5LL3ZaN1pJN3J2alZoenNWR1A1Zz09/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(caad82879d2dfd012efaacd302d5d05d).jpg)
“I’m staying up on New Year’s Eve not to see the ball drop, but to ensure that my friends don’t drop!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWi9kYzljUW5iQUQzcnNRVzNtYTBJOVpVMllnOGhkQ2lDT0NmYUY5bW16ZllRbHh4WGVyRWVEb1FnYkpUNzA5Q1B5MUdXdHRnRTZRQ3hScWRCaFJDZTNXMHd6TExGZlMxNWZjNDJOaERseStTalA4THNvT1Qwam5NM0Fta3JzNlhaYU9DdzZNbVBMb1hLcHZtWWlvNkUwVTVlcmVDeEJwR1g2emhOYUdTM3A1d1lQNnJ6N2xhTEpwVVRqcmVObDdFKzA5ZXhrMHZyUFpkZm1tTkw5NENZcz0%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6f82eeac6c655fc507cba22bb1cc3671).jpg)
“My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full of either rum, vodka, or whiskey.” KAKASHI QUOTES SAD
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWDdHSG5sL04vYkRtaVdWbVB4N1ZnVDJ0SGhhMlJoWVNUS1B4SXhOaFBWNjJxelA4cUpEQVNoVlk1OUxVc3laRW5tODIzdmJNbVJDM2huYS9tWFlYVHBkZVlaWHlUQ2Q1NmFkU2gxWDdxT0x6UElaUVZyNUtxZzJ0MWZNa2VJWU5BPT0%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(66b6a82437234253ca81c84dcf3f1ef1).jpg)
“I will drink responsibly this year… Respo – what? Drinks?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxuV3FSNTQrVzdsNWJnc292WmRwRkdLam0zNWZtZTcxWTVQM2NnalBGODhpdkFsNGhuWmxoWFVzZEZ1b1p1Z3d4RVIyOGIzc05NT3ljektGSkJKdHdMb241N3pWaEVMZE9wa2NWaXlxWmZ4V21jMkVNbVFjVnZHTmZ2SzhOMi91MXRGMEVMMXgwZXR4NlhyWGJFZEdYbDh0SEFsbHlZbHdCM3JzbDA2Vk0wMTBPeXFHMGlYcUs3cFhXU25DbVhoQT09/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d1624fe11c137c520645260f3f704e47).jpg)
“This year, let’s resolve to be committed to all of our bad habits. It’s much easier to hold onto those!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUitHZG83bDBsZWNaSDRXY05Kc0IwVThtMjdUZEtiYkJRTEdVQWF1MDRpVlBVSWtGcDMxcURra2VvV3FlNkp5eG1ZOFM0bTlwZzJxeUpDNUk5UEVUeVdLaEc1WVBQQjhNZWtjVW9tcnNEOS9pakV2T3owRCsyQ2xMNzFxUVpLWERaV1BUQkc4WHNqTWJtckdDZkhtcHRnPQ%3D%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6258a75900f3497567a62f33918c78ca).jpg)
“Cheers to 2022 – may we finally be able to tell each other apart in group photos!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYVJWTWdWRkorRTZsZEowdkc0Z015TlAxVm9rUjRSZGxBaU4vMGl0ZFFRZnBxZGttUHM0V3JEeTlFdzNidElMNi90dGV1MkFyRTQ3NEFXUDFhbHJrV0x6VHk5N1d2TE12R1p1MkZTWFAwNC84OFV1OGhGS0d6LzFQTG5yeVV2bCtBPT0%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a91ef44dbbd8d68f31a07150a86e7cdc).jpg)
“Another year has gone by and I still haven’t grown up. Maybe next year!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWjRSby9vcmhRRTN4bUxtVTNZbXlFVEdjbzBoeTJWUWcwUG5ReGxJckdHWW9UenFtVkJkV0NmdUdGblpCQWdsbmRvUnpGSGdOTVQ1di9SQVRtN29ackpUY1p4akR5RzlnMWp3ZEVvQytHOEpSZDFHQlNmcU5xdHVJRUZlMVRXdEtTdWd1MUtlcUdRRUpSbjZnaVE1OWxlYVJ2SmN0MXROVytyNDBJWjFsZ3hK/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(671e9af6b241fb6c848ca5ec406de937).jpg)
“Here’s to the new year, where all your weight loss goals will be realized… in the gym dreams.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUVZsa2Y2bjJLbFRXYnhFdUxvVTlYTHJsL2JQRVZ0RGVRbS9xNStGMkU4M3d3NGRIak5hN09xKzVwNXRnamgvT1hCZ1RIRXVOdkF5UnQyTEl6L3M5aXl0bVlUQ3ZrUXBzcUZyelRxZU1UUjJoSHJSQ01jRjFyU2k2Q2hFc1ZZWDg0a0VyRzNlUG5hSHBnWGV1R3F1SHpVPQ%3D%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(55a180e39f957c2b4764f24e360bdea0).jpg)
“May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions. And may mine be over in a minute!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxuV3FSNTQrVzdsNWJnc292WmRwSGxka0pWUjdtRFAwQmVYbVp1S2xkS3gyV3VoaVhzUDhrdDBLMEpzMStEUmNBMDNqRXpJZGwwbFZWclFudHBUOGRVQVNCY0l3NzBUTWFzbWtTUER3RUY3bFRjTFJoU1pqR29uRE1UOXNTTnhoY0pMbWw1M3ZIWkhnUWhOdHZqck5hWnZ3Zm9xd2hLcXdxQjEycXVpeTlxdE4yYWFoOWRaSVFFcGFlODhYVUxQQT09/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0399497feec0cb099996892eddc6df27).jpg)
“This year, may your Snapchat story be filled with memorable moments that don’t get ‘accidentally’ deleted.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWi9kYzljUW5iQUQzcnNRVzNtYTBJOVpVMllnOGhkQ2lDT0NmYUY5bW16ZkNOUDhrU2d5RjdaWWdkZCs5T0Y5Q0FpNElRVHlpRXliSW54UGtxUXVyUjJQMmtSM21LaFZXZmlHZG9mNFB5eGNOQXltTkIrbTRlb1lTT0NjV1JScjhMTjg3VHlMUm93WnpsQk5GR3hhYUR3OUR4YjdCbHVnQ0o4WTA1eDMzQUJ0amg0RE1QSXRYL1JybDd5RDVuSVQvZz09/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(84f56c1bec682c78e952876803a0a47b).jpg)
“My New Year’s resolution is to remember to write ‘2022’ instead of ‘2021’… eventually.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY29jVUFpWkJ6ajFHUEtrQXZxYXFuVWtVeXV2cXJ6cDRHNTJKaXp5RnZ3c1ZSbnl5WWpSajVIVDhDSVptZTZnUXdNYzdlYjg4RGRyM0NadzF4dURsVjJ6QkZFTkNwOGZWdGMwMDRPZXRua3F6ckI3QTVLV2tya3ZMNjBLYXdXU1hkV1JMYy9uaThsN0JpZkQyRGtKek0vRktyQlFKeFhlSFZ0VlhtdVE5aC84/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d1f5dd8f18e885aac4ead710b16d9386).jpg)
“May your New Year’s Eve party be as memorable as the dietary restrictions you’ll break the next day.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWi9kYzljUW5iQUQzcnNRVzNtYTBJOVpVMllnOGhkQ2lDT0NmYUY5bW16Zk1jMEY2MmxMOUZIbjFkR09QbFNnNDNseXFHckhjRGFQbDlHSURiYWkvVGFhTXo5THlPQWJTMXp6cGFLNS9JNlJDK3E1cVFVZU1Ec3pUK3kwcnl2NWxMOGxPc2lJd2ZuaUQzYnZUOEFxVEszcWxuOUptbXBvUysvRDBxL2FPOUdOWjhGQ000amJ6VVZreG1DSGVGK2NCQT09/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6b26b495c1597db9950256530b03f662).jpg)
“My New Year’s resolution is to stop worrying about my waistline… I mean, I’d much rather win the lottery!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWjRSby9vcmhRRTN4bUxtVTNZbXlFUUQwd3JsaGNmdEFUb3plTlVGQmpuNzY0Q0RTd3lCeFBwQllzcDIxeE9ZSGx6cTI4U3VYQ2dEYXNxbG9pTm53WStuQ2xLRFpDL3hEeEtISXFxN1cvcWNOUElWUktwck44QS9JR2tESlplUzNRPT0%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3337a0dc0f68281b90ab70b307d62eb6).jpg)
“Here’s to another year of pretending I know what I’m doing!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY29jVUFpWkJ6ajFHUEtrQXZxYXFuVXdNNERNRm9RcmFIUENrNG5nWGd4ai92Sk5nQzRhOCt3UW9GZ25uVlljeGkzcDhFc015WXBnSEF6RllEQW1UTjhkNmM4c1M4MlNXcDZYSDBhTWJQcDBmSStaSVpmQVovTEpvdlNGQkdETlJBPT0%3D/NEW+YEARS+EVE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(1dc0074887f6eeb3701fe5d693b52445).jpg)
“May your troubles be less, and your e-wallet always full in the New Year!”