![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUnhGcDVGNXZwUjJsWHdQMjVUanl3ZkhNWjNaTlpCNHFXUUU4Q051M1kyczFESFEzN1IzVDZKdFBKbStnUG5HdkJCWGNweXNRY0NxbUxBZDRKM2hIcmZCcGRGaU5ZenNEaDVMTWRTTmRSOEU%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(e52e992f7b5dbf23146eb539ff99e35e).jpg)
“I used to have functioning brain cells. Then I became a mom.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOXROM3BPTHZFcE9uQ21BNC9sMXFNSHAvZjBSc1hRMHUrRzV0c2pPMkhER2hNU2VCdW9qMzNPNnRDellCQ0lqb2tjVnJYekI2cUNjVzBYSjQzZmhUd0wwWVpoN0dWSUV1dnpGc2RWbVovY1I%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(226ff8d553ff07f64883cf3d7f2181a8).jpg)
“Motherhood: Powered by love. Fueled by coffee. Sustained by wine.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeGlMbVdSNU4vUnExVjlaSTNqdGgxZUs0QjUyU080WVRSY3EyM3VCVi94TlE0M09LU3FKMUIwbWMvRlV1TzVsSXRsNmJ3YlpteGJISTFUWUtNeHM5SjllUlJmaUowcC9NRzRTWm1WMzg4VjdJOHZEOW5ZaENmMEVqY2FVcDI0dFFCUUJHa1R3VDVnM0R2MHpoMXBQOXZjPQ%3D%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(1319be421f5df5b82225bb4cfc983aa5).jpg)
“Cleaning the house with kids around is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMUZYampEQTdLK0twVzRVeFh0ZVZVTlVmYWh0QjE3WE4wQkJIQVRyNG41SE5SZUVLclJUbFA5ZDU2WDRIK3l5NkkvNisyU24zV0RpSWJFMlZkRnlTZXVhaEcxd2xxbVJQVzRrK0loNGs5eG8%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(2d9fe05582505fc681ddfc85d0eb1c81).jpg)
“Whoever said ‘sleep like a baby’ never slept next to one.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMenhCTFQzOU5mRFBpblJLNmt4amUxK1paQ1ZxbFhlSFFjOTRKczZ2VldETmhia3JyQk5tMjg4ZXhWb3JrQWZORmtEYTVYcEFOWU42endWTldwZTZOQkgwYmdYc2FuVG1IMUFlL1pCYkk3NEg%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(616432b44fdcc24daefc3b61ae0030cc).jpg)
“Dinner with kids: ‘Why is there food on the ceiling?’”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HUUhEbDI3cEtSdUhIMUJXVXc1QzV3TUxMUDhPL0xaT3l6RzdqVjRyOTZJcUVtdXU4YitlcG9lQUE2Sk1HRGNXd3JEUzRKa1RlbFNGR3NEYjFlb1Z0Nk5QRmNXcFkrcHBRRkJFZjRzSm1hbklmZ3Q2R2VJMGpEUUtvZWNzUDVJZG1NPQ%3D%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(ef8f08686ff82a28bab6cdfd7b55e010).jpg)
“I don’t have a photographic memory, but I can remember every outfit my child has ruined.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMK2EwenJrWEcrQmt2RUNkOURWb2hKS2N4c1JxM1FjSU90VXAxWDFFcHZ3ajRka256OFVsdmtGT1FPQVlWN1U4YmxGT1JuOXRpKy95RmtHZktCVHl5bmpVcWtIN0tYaHgzcThmTVlDS3M2RkI%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(a9d55b87645422f5e2a77c0d54f14852).jpg)
“Being a mom means never being alone in the bathroom again.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNmRWT0VYT00zVTNTcmgweUlISEd4Vm5LNUZqZHd3cVdtb0p2allOVVQ0dmxabGtrL1ZYVmo3b283a0xSWFlaeXY5SGYvdG5hejRZS2JNWVNHUUZtdHFxY2lZd2V2NkNEeERNK3IwSzZvTU1UN2dxNE1PNTl4anVkWkFTVUQwM2Zxb2RCY252a05Kc0lwOGJDRGhpemw4PQ%3D%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(0e4db5f9a909feffac297d01106feda3).jpg)
“I love being a mom, but sometimes I wish I could uninstall the whining and tantrum apps.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNkJCNS9kRmhvNVhtUUFCVEJxd09YNTFoanpvSlVBRm9OMHNidFZLZlRpS0pITzdBLzhBS1hHSnFaUUVPYWlLRzNjNVM0NUhWYkVEaUZzYXFXWDNxcGc9/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(36b6090eea6d277bd5179aea274eefe7).jpg)
“I thought I was organized, until I had kids.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML2F0VmVKckFpTzZWQUYzNnM2TFIrVmU4SmpEOWtwSHNkU0ZyNzIvWDNLZUh1L2JaRGpsd0srUEpRSSs1dVI0MzZqV0IraFRZRzRIZXY4NllpRllobElKNkpGTEs5cnBlM1V5R3VZWHk5K2Y%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(a2602414ebfb65bc0bc65d20649eb93e).jpg)
“Mom life is like a zoo, but with no free admission.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMN2R2b0E2TkYyQWZYZTkrQ2FTOTV2SEI1UVQ3b2kxbE5XUUpybGUvbmI2c2ZTOERCOVFaOHBqTHNmWGtvNmxsYlZjazRVaTBtbDE0enl2ZGtuZGYzYlU9/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(5c7dfd5a36a602e27d1aea8a1d2bd1e9).jpg)
“I used to be cool. Then I had kids.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMK2EwenJrWEcrQmt2RUNkOURWb2hKS0h3cHhpN1p6NlV4bURjL1lYYzBMU1Z4dTQ0bjFWcmpJcHlnTGdxcU5DTzVFb2hVZHpWYTEvY3BDZC9lZXJIcG1MK1pldk5ZUElhMXVqUytpc2lVazI%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(1987a9ecc1b125249bd686f9f31130f8).jpg)
“Being a mom means always having someone with sticky hands around.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMK2EwenJrWEcrQmt2RUNkOURWb2hKS3gvN3dobGxxekxJNHdNNjdISTNqSUMwcWJ6MUtocFpYZkxrODV6V3VHM0xJOXlFRlUvamRRelQvYnZQdVpTMmVzYXpMSDFsUlFwWVJoRU9OZzFzNjBpWldRMStkSTBubXlUMXVoaGxyOTZtd24wUUFoSWhTVEwxSmFTMXZrV29nPQ%3D%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(8aa1b819a34d81142ef7d6f8dae7baf5).jpg)
“Being a mom is all fun and games until someone gets tired, hungry, or bumps their head.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNUptNHJWS21pY0JNYm9CTkpqaVVWWEVhM043S3B4S0pzaUVsWGpxOWNkMktlc0VKZTdjYytRcnh5VWt2Vm5FbDdDcVZMTDZlWWFDWWttdUdUNjByR2pEaUpNbG1wV1duYldLUGZGNCtCQTdFWlA2V3JuYTVEc0dXWlNNUndlbU5teGQrUk9jeGhJSlFPTXlDOXpueURuTWNXZ0VvSTZ3Nm5WU1J3NFhramMv/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(f8626c32d00fd271f676e05229454b3a).jpg)
“I feel like I’m constantly saying ‘please stop’ and ‘be careful’ on repeat.” GOOD POETIC QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNlJJR2dWSHNIb29lM1NJcEsxQ0xhSzB1dUswaE9WMEFmaGRqSGViTGUwZG8vY0N5SU9IZ2IvK2o1SVhVRElKbnB3V1l4djVBNzkvVDBTWDRLMGprbGNDcS9FeVB5NDI1SEEvZjdDTWp3Z0I%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(0a6e9eac932b177e79f24bb5c194e436).jpg)
“Raising children is like being pecked to death by chickens.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeExxNnF4Y0NkRXM0RFpuN0ozcXQ1aFlRQkk1eFEvcElZSEk1dGs2MXh6WnEvZUVOSzQxS0hMbnRLSURYNG9ERjk2RHoyWHkzR3B6eklVdGI4TXNnN2FNN3dxWXFBTVVNMXRESWkwUFBoTlNzSjMvL0FEUGRPbTVZZjJINFNramdBPT0%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(13a5ac1c969d1c756b3c2adc2aceca78).jpg)
“Moms don’t have a favorite child, but we do have a favorite coffee mug.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeC9IQzh3OUptUW5CblVRWU1IRU0rbmhHbzF4MWdidkR6WEZydXYrUWhiNnlhUktkQWRpOEFYNXFQL3l5ZHZQQ3FuNUllOGsrQVBSYmF0dHplQVNMRHZVVEhSZHI2TytsUHY2R3EwMEFqUVBqcGVQYjVZUnZ6YkwzT294L1BOMFpBPT0%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(4a43a5f047e1e6d0a4e35794bcb92caf).jpg)
“My house is clean enough to be healthy, but messy enough to be happy.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMem5mU2JWRFp3clhCaWJ0ZWFZd3FPOU5VY21oZE5pRkZsQTVaSlMzcDMvWUYyUlRLeUsrYVNSR0hNRzBzZU1yaGpTV1lRVlNZRzRRcEFpSVRldzJNeWVLVFRlc0VJbTlFS0NLTEtxMStXZlkrd3A3M3dWL2M5Wko5RU9ZTkVuREJPNjhiOFdYRDhLa2UrUXpkdDA0aEJBPQ%3D%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(a669516e7e4ab2ace54643c458d6d097).jpg)
“Parenthood is 50% yelling ‘stop doing that!’ and 50% apologizing for yelling.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeVdCc0hGU3FkMm1UM05SVXpsUlpGYU4rYnlDenZCSXN5bUgvTGtCSGxFR2xUektoMTJBTFJlTWoyQ2hqWmhxcWlSUFlEV0tMcHg3d1FOWVlwWTZTSzJaN1JWLzBjbjYvVWpERGgrSUR4d3d0VU9ZR0YwSW9wMWFXOUduV3hBNTh3PT0%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(a25ba4b984db77841ad415a646e2550e).jpg)
“I never knew I could survive on so little sleep until I became a mom.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMXFjUWRCTE5tRmpKWnZPODZXQ1cwOExnd1B5TVF1VmEvYlBVcGw3NTFEem52VzZyeUVseWsrRnJpaGJkMlAvV1BGL1lpVlhNSlhOWEEvbXhkL2lBV2RBRXV4M0J1bTJXR0dwMUw4WG1lNUt1QlErNWptVGVxYVRIZXFueHFOU25PY3RYMFlkcm1aVjNqT0VhVll6MEFxME5DV3BtQ2VCdXZjdzhsdWxYNGdRUmNLb1IvOGF3blFrY0dZL0xmYTB4UT09/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(63f99f508d0eeb08e56cd742dfcf8d03).jpg)
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being a mom, it’s how to fake enthusiasm for terrible gifts.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMUVpbW81WTE2V0FRRWdJTGRCNitBaTVsenFLb1B6VnFVZmR2RjJKNXlEQ1B0VWhBMEdMeU1yc1FsUFFKMHgzRCs4eUowYjBXZWk2VkdCeXhEb1lad0xJTEVSMVJMRzZKSWlCb29RR1NZbEVGWXcrM21WbjV3Z2liNTRsMldjM1Jqbk00Y1VjTUJsa1ZDV0xXSWcwQVBKQjlFbjRsZUVPVjVjMFQ5eTZtOUN1/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(011ac5385c0aff8103b31ef4cfe8ebbd).jpg)
“The biggest lie I tell myself every day is ‘I will clean the house when the kids are older.'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMK2EwenJrWEcrQmt2RUNkOURWb2hKSUZGTWhxRzE3R2d6OGorRzVtOGMvMVNuTFB5azhjQmZmNXh5SjFlTnFKN0FScmZadWxCMDV2d0J6djVhTVRJc3JwRWNnckh5b2p1MWU5dUtrVGd3TUM%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(9f79886be9d88371e034a7178717eb05).jpg)
“Being a mom is like running a marathon, but in a clown suit.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNDFjb0pGb0JhS0UvM1JJQ21JZTNTVWZmd2pkdk1oWnJjNVJmMjZaaVNuc2h3a2RoMTRWOXRySUNUdXMvdFVMNDlKWVdIVmJYcFJrNG1rNlpseDRQVHhmTC9UcG0vZWJ1ckhKOWp2NS9KOFlhc1JpUitHMVRuVlVjYUZuSXNBRW91SFl0UlRYTjZRaWlZaXFrM21lRUR3PQ%3D%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(9917828c88cd3f67da69b6d0854da061).jpg)
“Every time I say ‘no,’ my kids hear ‘ask again, she didn’t understand’.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNWlPRUh2NGJzZnFOY2R1cVNLSE15RE5KelI3dXFwOFBIUStpNklTbGpvd0k2R2pMdmltOUYrSFhBM1VrQjBMcU9CakdXNTM5eVFqL0VWQ240ZlRBMndRSzY1SVdIVFJEUVpobUwyWGhPbE01T0tRYUQ2aXN0RUJBenNTZ0hncjZhYlU3VzNYbzFreFVSZHhVbGZlUXBwS2VkU0pIZWVud3F2M0EwNEs5UXFr/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(d184f22dd0d995a671a01fa334b35b88).jpg)
“As a mom, my superpower is being able to find things that were never lost, but my child insists on searching for.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOXROM3BPTHZFcE9uQ21BNC9sMXFNRTRXN3dGbjZpdWVzczZXbnNuRjlPNWJtT0dMTjNQSVVkUWFmWHdleDlkdTc2YXZIU0hpWWg3NzBaQ0FLQzJPbUhCcVhkUE9ZZTBlQnU0MEF0UzIxWG9TcTA5NGZkbjNJbGFycmpTUFI0RFFvY3ptUUREZGFkcE9relR0b0svK3g2Vk5BZ201SFFzdjlMV3MxaVZIazBl/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(830ca171572a9eea975210e4e29e2763).jpg)
“Motherhood: The only job where you get yelled at for doing too much and not doing enough at the same time.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMnNMd011RWwzWk5Xb1JFR1NFV0ZYMnB2U0o5SFFLejFLQnZYTko5VHd5d0lGZE9NalVjRk1iRWR1MFhWOVo2MW1YeE1UQzlXU3FONExCeW1TNjRnR1RzVlhMbUgyZGJxSmFHM3BDeVg1S1FJUHMzYjVYamlSNHpnaDNHcWIxN3ZBPQ%3D%3D/HUMOR+FUNNY+MOM+QUOTES/(b785015856bb48926e75da36b2f1dd39).jpg)
“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom. Just kidding, I’m totally a regular mom!”