![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYStrZDk0WXFtK29YVkhHbUdFbWZwaHdyM1hzYzZxdXJFN2txN0xKU1doUzNwT3FMVm40ZUFFdm5aRlRENzRZcU9OZnIxQWFhTnp3bDNVNW1hNFY1MVpKekpEUXVEWjhOSllzVURNLzA0K2R6MTNremkyeU1DY0NxdDZ6dHNLLzRhVWRjbVFXMnVJd3NRMVVubXFUcTFSSWFGcGpjaG5DNDFHeFRCQnFLMUNH/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(2143d890f0b2495d052635e43fbe985f).jpg)
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUp6SWlDQ21oZWlVekt4K3hJMTM3cjBjdVJyNHBjeXVlc1JlN1hWaTgzWmpBdWtDcHE0NUxtTzRNUnhmSmdOK3B4alExRmF1ZUF4RFBkOHJGQ1V5cjZ3UVlVb2VOcmFWVDJxRlhDSjhDR3I2LzFyaitqVmh1S2Z2aWhyT1h2azhRPT0%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(01f435d686cd2c4f8a96891a6320f1b0).jpg)
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXU5aExRU1ZrTzhHbXBhYUxMUDI3Y09nYnRsUFQ1WHRIMWVxU2JjTE9lODlqZUlpa01sVGRjSXpibE9VMnQ4WHdHN0VWcU9RbDEwaTArck9ZWlpjaERDQTF5VSthZVR0ZVNNR1NLc3hPcFJ6aHZjMElHZWZKbDdKazFOTnVQMCthTFFsMk53cldsQjZPU3B2bkVuVGJFPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(11f8e502e2016598e122dd2e57409837).jpg)
“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” – Woody Allen
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVlVBR0tSbFJjVjBvQ0JqVllXd2dmeTR0d0tFYkc0TnllVHpwRk9wQTdwQU9Va3FVMDVpc3NTNEhoUjFZRUloOFZEZW52WFVYelVLUGtzNytMU1dnZ2thTXFYa3lzMUp4YkYrOFVPWXptODNJQzAxUlBTYU94M1BWcGZLUlBPN2JrRVMyWjFkclBjVmM4UTZBVnhYckV3Zm1YRnNqOEN3cDRMUHAzU2t1ZWJxU0UrWGtmYWRiYS9OR1hqM2hLL0p0bDlHM0E4Mk9yRzVSOW10eE04RUtQcnVoOU1TOGtJYUJIR25ZekpvZjNmcg%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(2e0a4f270fcc98aff15c436861448fcc).jpg)
“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2dmNXbm9mT1BmaXhQdmc4czZYZ3B2V1Fjd3RwTWZZWEJDbUdlYm1YZ0plN3RoYW03c1RmNm4vOVNVNFVwZzlRM3lrN2szZkEwZzkwRlkvNm02eWd3NTZSeWMvTXZKT3lIalBoY0pXTkdrbURIbkFaWXhGdm5MbnBLV1R2NHQ5TlhuMFFBb1ZtS0VPTTJYYkIwSlQwVC9L/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(cf69c1ddb8c6af2609910199cd79006f).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEl4U1ZwT3lsT1RmZmoyMzFtcGNZWHFkYXlxZGF3cjByd3BGS09ib0FOY0lVMFRDTk5YbEdzMm1LZWRxamlkWlJabHRseDBkZWM0YlQ2eDhFM3FzZE12djdtK2ZLZkVZOXpUS0VSbXlSSlRFczVUbkRHS0FYSEwrVGlJS1o5N3JhZzBuRnJyZVl0Q01vaVA4OVQyL1YvVHJKOTkvMWRxMXgybnlUaUZSMlRr/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(c20070bd1d121216f1a38029c8b43f88).jpg)
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvTjE5cjBRelA3VmFsaXBRUngrMHl2blVSUGVZNXlCU0d0cCtSa3VQODBUdjZ5d3NjTzF5QktCVzgyOXlJdy9teSt5UUdMUUp1WHhlS3MvM2VqeFh1dDNyeXQ3S0RJenZzYkF6d1F0RDFrZTRlNFhZdVpSaDBQL0RIZ2s3d3d2V3lMZG96UEVtOTVzKzFHNFZkMWVqa1cy/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(6cd73153c3329dc34369f6fa21cac0d7).jpg)
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWFdBOU5aVWNjZFQzUUF2c1hKc0sxa0dwcFJqdXl4ZHpJbVh0RUNNL255OWpoa2JhSUxXcHRwcUhxZG1EUGVMUGxlS3ZCZURVL05sN0VLSEZQdnAra3dsbFlad3laWFFHU2wvQmo3RzM0T0U4dngxeDNrWjZrYTZJQWZnbWVkcWdnPT0%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(bdde8a6c68d35d25591c74601d62f63a).jpg)
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVThEbExPeHlOTEIyRkN3TzNBaTI3MnlaMGRXVU9IUUtlb1doU0ZSMlFNUmFncDd2V2NjaHpuMkM5Y2N4RFNHOVFnc2VQYno3QVloc1F3R3Jab0h5Sy94RWU3QWEreHFxMWgwVytQcUM1VnROMHQyMFFWSUNGRjk3ME1QWHJsY1AxYmpHMGErNnc2YzQxVkFoZXJMSkR1WVRDcVROOEVJeGdzWU82V0g5TGVIK1BOSGV2TDRIb2JpS0g1YmdlS0VTWT0%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(2c9e83eaddaf81e56c831c35f22ac0aa).jpg)
“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.” – Emo Philips
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU2ZRMVllYURGZ0x4bE1QdnpjanNNTm8vTnJ1L2hiN056VmJtWGpMUWJWbVVZa09USXFLWnlWUjU4MUZ0WGdYWWlZZnJyUnR1a0d2MmZVemR1MmxERC9UcUFUSlU5OGEyUVhFWGNIRDlzNHlsVkw2QXRacHBTQjdoTEdhb1Rwai9DUnlyTHpSTys1YXprSWdrTUJWL3NuQXZTYjN0Qy84TVluTVczWlFtOXN2T2dnU3pxaHdCaFJJaWYzNk1qWFB1QT09/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(d854d743f3c7f9ad180f2441c1725015).jpg)
“I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDaW5vQy85T2ZzWmNwdXRneUNkK2tUdVl1MjBQdTVkZWNLbjA4MFlkRWJ2SHJ1S3lnd1VNKzBIcXBoL3hOMXRwVEprZFVSZGQ5SkFhU2RKcW93OVBjZ2dGY1hON25zUU9pMlN1QSt4V1RmUDRJYklhUDgwaDNaZ1JYTklRMmt0VHVXK1Y0U2tQU0k4azNGWXNGUkNpQldpVGNHOWJ3NEdSdWVhcDNKaVEvVnBlWU5oelBYUGpHZkkybC8rMXJHRi9ENzBtVHJmMGJKY0ZVdERSbXJlY2NGN0FYRG01T3pIVURYZXBvaDZqZHVlTGJHSGRCRDdxWWFUeHFwQ1d2em5yd289/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(d4395e630f85199ba780eab1c75e0c96).jpg)
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” – Mark Twain QUOTES ABOUT SHARING
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVHNCb2cxYkdnQ1BoR2hpSDlZaGF5UjBBWDF4a0FQdjE2SjV3UGxrNklNR3c2NHdOOFRCOG1Hd1MzNEs5MktJb0NZS2tudGFKSXhlR1ByYmNHbXZaR3FGbHBtT1NFemhMZS8yM0FHTkdvdnYzR3dmU3NOSzNRcE5MaGFZRDU0TFF3PT0%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(0cfb88989b872b2f1375052e3ab08230).jpg)
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” – Woody Allen
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVnM4Y3pKY3kxTUtYS0pISkYwdTBMRE1EWDR3bVFoRTV4MWNkeTVucEZFbUNNZmtvWTlGS1lCY0QwcnBxTWdKV2Q4UHc5eURKeThrWXlMT2tzUS8yQXBlYmxYWW05RXdQcG9OMVI5QkJjL29KaS9wZWlpTzhZT0ZaWlBYQVFGM0UyV0ZWV3Njc1YzTTYxc0E0emlHYnBvPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(6b9cc41c216074ecc9a823357dc7e94a).jpg)
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXN0cHFIUk1KWCtGVk5oa2VxNG9vcHhTRUxKdkFqN1A3L2hoWFk2WDNYd0ZhdmhMaUJXN21KbmRPT2IwUlp6L2hhOEhtb1J1Ym1QNGU3ZnpxeXRidkVOWEVEU2dYRnJ2VnRITkNTZXlQWkw3cGhMcHI4Wkd0QUdZNGpCUHg1VEJFaUFHeXp5MmxheE5EOWVYNkNna0lRPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(0aaeea48decf2dddd6079621fafcc2a4).jpg)
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2anp1eFNDNGVTZkJ3ZGlYamdTM2syZEx0Vjl5WTJQWUNSY2RwSU4ySnJaTVl0bDZMSkVOU3d4YVA5SFJXRSsrWXhRYnFFUnVFNDNidSsyODRpQ3Qwa2hWYWdYclhjQWNPVFcvOW5FU1crQ0YzWXpLVm5PakFyMStMMkJXZ3crK2czUlFaZGx2amNudlJ6ejd4N3hsS0JieVlBcWN2OXJ2Z29TUlY0Q3hTTU02Zz09/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(c1d0a189af5f4108900eb553cf9883fe).jpg)
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.” – Woody Allen
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDZzBGV295c3NOa3gwNlRMYkYvUXNzblJRdjNGYU9tVmZHVmtGS0RHMGtNb3ZRUGlEYXp0YmFGK1FRZ05mNHByREgxQnlodEkvbE5jRTlubnhvYU1xQ29YcHEzbW9BYkMyRW4yTUYyS0s5czhNOUhGbFFQZDRHbkUxVHBxaWd0NytRPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(10d37d8599470abbc2e7ef9163d2dc0e).jpg)
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWDF1VG10VlZkcU1KVUNYY1l0MWN2R250NGR4TmlGN21NSWszUzZIaURaUDluQ0hjZE9mSnRKS2ZWcS8zQm5GMDByREZwR1lLYVVPL3p5c1dJMFBDRTc0bWdxMFZaUzErSC9DTUJNaFZTenI3cjM0MXJvcWZ1RGlnMERDdXh5aG05SFVoemhhSndoL3RuWmtZRmRvL1hJPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(046b4d71b6d14c055937b05f18cb95f4).jpg)
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjhINThUbmxNTk9ucDFQeUxsZm9uZ3ZiR1BPcVdmdnlwWXN3cUdwOEtqamJKVmppcXJNRFRHaU5HeUFhRHhxKzVmY0R0UXdsUGY3UHkvdnJrZWRXdER5SE9YWWRNTnhrUUZYSE5ORmVUeHhkRktnTHVGWFVQRXFVNWJPekRKc0laVFZodjBQVWo3YWpsVEMwVE5vdHFJT1JGckFlYXZVTFhQeGxRbFFxVytSck9HU0hvbEVrN0lBQTJnbEhFOU04QT09/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(c94f781ac5fed29cc576f32f103855ad).jpg)
“If you’re going to do something wrong, do it big, because the punishment is the same either way.” – Jayne Mansfield
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0lJN2pSOVpUSTY0K1NVelNrNVlRQVVqbXJoSkJpaFI3MHpXcCtyOHd1Q2puRmg0ZXNHRmZReEpNbzQyNlVsd05uNUxaK0hGNHoxWFlTKzRJYXpKb1lTY3N5N3JETmdkcStwd1ZteVJYMGRyaUYraXgyQ2J3OGVldFRTeVRCeEJVYTZRRGdaU2pSaGNKWUZQWnFyTVh4SFlDWiswUkJSSmFPTWZFc0FYbE4yVVpaZnI2V2NvQUJ2cmNLT1hvVEw3eFIvUnVDZCs2dkNibVNId3lGN01oUitVcjRVbDNnQTFMcm4vVFlXSFA1RQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(3f7dfb9caad019e44406125dc37e0e95).jpg)
“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.” – Charles Bukowski
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVnZHQUZwSWxaendMRGY4eXI2eVpCcmdGb0RaaVdSVFpzZ3lhY1VXOHhramdTcnRxbkk4K01ibisraklKMEVVV2FydVFHN2pDd0JPeHpyMnQvbWF0MUZYRkVmcUVKTzYxbzlTN2RrbVAyUGxsMHEwSC94dTJrWVUzMzdvNTBSVjJ3PT0%3D/HILARIOUS+FAMOUS+QUOTES/(e784fa7bacf1f5e6ac95d1526266b525).jpg)
“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright