![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUTZlblN6cHg5OExoQ29oWmp2d3JqMEdTSjVQeVlxRjNGYVVFV0JQN20xMkRWdENNRmRNeWx6RFo4UjFsZWtCYVpoRzlKV3JzTWp6K0lXVWZMbXd2SUxTa1FzWWN0bVNmRTZtaS9FOWxwclYzck9TaW5KL3RtL1BRL2dVUmpqSzJmU1psU3BPK0xmYkdZazhHYk5WMlhqWHlITHROeVBCK3locGZBZXF6Vkhh/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(164c1bc7bb2079093e66fd7beffb0b5a).jpg)
“Did you hear about the dog who gave birth to puppies on the side of the road? She was cited for littering!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1ErNldUQm00dE94Q25FcytNc2UvRXRTd2xLM1YvVjc2cW9oYTV4R0lVQmlVby9KZC9rdDhjU2JlL0UrbDQyc2d4Tmx2MmVDZzBlQVk1Zk8vbmdQUThoU0VPZUVDV01VYUZRdVZMY2pYRTh6UHFyTDdWZW5LRG9ZNElvTWlJV0ZMVTFQbXYzN3hRbGhxRWxYUGhzZlN6dWIyanNWSXMweFVpV0kydm5aNlpPcmxXL2xEQXlGcHpqVGR0QThZUU1qQT09/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(841320dec02da1168e7705a7ead5019f).jpg)
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” – Ann Landers
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWWU2VFFPaFYxOXVlMjZLK1ZSN0UvWUlGbFFqN21WVzA2UnQxeWJIMWVXdlkrRU5hTDRucWdKU3llOFZycHpFb3QyTnhIdVlySzhHcExMR3F2cU9OVjVnYW9qeFVCc1NRM21OK3U4U3drRlM2bHNzcVJzRE0xckRZcnZESi9WaUJBdUtXZUlLN05odDg0T1k2UjhQTFl3PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(6a2bcac7f58dca1616190c3f1168bc0b).jpg)
“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” – Rita Rudner
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYnhiUlVNUW5uLzUyVklpZnlNU2RVcTVRRXZ5ZDhvTEkxcTJvRVIrQ1V0Ri91Q0xTeEdHQSs0RlE2dGhaRGNFRmwvdDRJckFHbTJGV0dablF2Ull2Sjc1QzR2YUNBeEdyUE42QmlvdjdGa2d6bGM4b2tGb2prRDdnRmpOd28xVzNDMjZBWk1UZE9JZjVSZkduOWZoeTJjR3liRjh6ekdielFuVGlJdFhiRHlKUFRFalJYalppaU5xT29CZUsrWlNoQT09/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(d6a5b97faf7f1ad3f6088fc40559219e).jpg)
“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $00 a can. That’s almost $2 00 in dog money.” – Joe Weinstein
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYlBRaXRTa0VzWncrQXV2cUdNakVxQXVqdm85SDlSL2EvSDQycXpOTXNEMWFXTmVXQ2tLckNpT2JrN2hxZExYWEJsSDAyVGsxVnQzNUhRSm1yb01vdVNPWkswei96amIwSUpJclloa1FheDNtNlBhWXpHc3lwWk9iWGljUTA4VUk2bWhyUnZoMkRJUmRHMXNQUHlpSkZjM1hGd0ovYVo3YS9YM05vUlV6eXo2/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(88957d6834886ffcc5c3c7b2f66a5970).jpg)
“If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAveWgwU1BDUERwaERYRkVNUjFVWlBlQzdoRENHYW1ISzZTaGp2bGtqb0NiT1dReGhNU3JpNUtDWVFabEROekhXQlFyenBvcitJdkg4eTMwdUZUOFhtWkNGTUtITDRXaVQ4em9EenRvYWp5M2YvcTdhZEhFY1FaUEJZci84SW5tVFdrPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(df6abc6f041191f485a81da8ee4487c5).jpg)
“Why don’t dogs make good dancers? Because they have two left feet!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY2x2U1RxWkpuOW9taHc2RGhId0dpUytFcXNXeEVCL3ZwK25XMmdXVE1KczdnVWNFeHBCKzlkSFF3Z2ZRM3k2TUVweVJ0eHE3dWN0Rmx3Mk1Ba1hYUm1BWlZ0eVBLTHZFRSszZEx5NnR5dEVhckRKUlhtenNtVEE1aHlGcnlpRTVrSVZDRGdSVWEwaE9FUE9QbVdZcmRHSStMK2d4aEcwd1J5UHFwKzg1YzlOdnZEQnNOVFFtb1pPaGJTaUxicGFDRT0%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(df9ab218c44fea6ccaa40933e798bbd2).jpg)
“I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.” – Bill Murray
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWVseEpKU2p3aHdJOSt5TnowVmthd3A4Mzlkb0pYOVh1VzhmbjVqRnd0QUhxU0g3NG9iMDBsZG1RZGZJbGRFTDUrbjByNTJ1R01wc3d0ZTJtSjgrOThkaGFIZmhna2NiR0hRd3VqbTF5UUN1YXZsb3B1bkxuNVIyM2lSalNXUURZcGpBZlQ0dkdYTHJUam5CNXgwK1Z5TFgyUllJZS9PaGZqSlkxemF3eHBY/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(dd0cf9a20068ee3f81232bd70c2cb9a2).jpg)
“The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYWVIVGZYUFpTSlIwTzQwNGVyc3R4aXpQZmpPc0JORXh3Q2c5bmdSRDRCVWdYc1FpcWpHaDliNGtjM1hRTkFKS2k2eWU0ZTRhcGlOczEwSkNuSHo1QjRCQlpwNDlpVk5obkUzOVlHS2wyanp0NzdZUm42Z1E5bjlib0ZCWU5SVDZUQ1FXSXRmNFRDWUZOeld1SERzVk5vRW1SNkRPK2V6ZlVLWXZBTVdHM2FR/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(0ad97e33e90c39d7b027f0e0213b4554).jpg)
“My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.”- Elayne Boosler
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWEJEWDRDQTQzanY5ZGdIK1ByN2NqdWRIbDlHT09XUll1bWRqQUFSaDduR21kQ0hyOWNKMnhDRHVaMDZMSnNhM0ZSL2d4aHBZeGlPU0FGT0F1QWhSUHJIaGNOY2N4Qm04L0hRWlMzTnV1bnVRSTQwd01oOFFHVnVlYVlHeDBwWUxXMjh1UDM1YUNCWCtPV0VSUTlOaTg5cHk2Y2NiZXltYnZydEtWUFJPVFl3/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(bfcea95e6b3650fe2333467e18424747).jpg)
“Why was the dog sitting in the shade? Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAveWgwU1BDUERwaERYRkVNUjFVWlBlQ1o1M3pUbUg3YjI5WVo1MnJQbjM4dUlkRnpxekJ2Rlp4SHl1bWxHa3JyeSszYzcvRkVIYWJyQzMxM3RpNXRWWjlSbkF3RVd1eXYvOTFqdjRDQnJUVWwvQjhVa2t0NXNQOTAyenJYK25XUkd5QWVBRVhtZDhzendmYjJIdzVIQTFz/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(e45e796a0adba3339910c873989e6a97).jpg)
“Why don’t dogs make good phone operators? They can’t stop playing with the receiver!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWTk3LzZwY0VuT1R0eDE1OStxQ3NUUis1eEp5bWJvQjhoSDFSTzc3andOdW5qT3BuTVBPRUtXRXlVQzdxOGlPVXJqcStneXp2WXlUMHN5V2FmZkxaK2xKVm91aERtTE4yNzZFU2hOVFhiOUVDQXRKclJuSENkVVNJZjNlOE1aS3JMUG9jTlQ5ampTcEdib2ovNmhwNEZZPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(80ac3c2e488def21ec43414b60e0d63a).jpg)
“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.” – Gene Hill
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkh0bG5GRlJ5VkZUT01lVllCUmtoeGU0Z1ZWS3F5dlZGOUJoSzBBdC9wY3JTUjdYOEtzTHpXVUtHUUx6bWhtS2xRMEFmcUE0SUpOL2lxYUQyb1JtdEZ0d1JjU2o1SThsSnFGOWlnUDBqNDJiVnJKM1Z0RGNxSlJzeVVTSTBiRnlINUpEQ0d6NXBSNkV3dTltek4yek13PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(8754de65e69a2f4031cc937a463bcb06).jpg)
“Dogs have masters, cats have staff.” – Unknown I WOKE UP LIKE THIS FUNNY QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXdkcnkwa0VkRjNVU25pSzZPb2lnOGdOdERITHdaNEtEZHhockZ1K2crTStQWHNaTHVOSXhPQ3NkR25kV0JNTlQyaXNSTXM5aFZYUjlxekF6b3RDbEZHSHo2N1J4VjZJQmxSbFpvZ2tpYTBmeTVmakZwSUdsdnpTV29ySjZ1bTRsWTRBRlQwY01zaWFpRG9RRWdKNk1JZmZqaERwVFlkK2w4YTBHbTNVUFF6RVJnL051eHhxUDhJTDRhNVBtZzdDM3dzRUpFZG5JR1BxZG4wOGFabjNsVHQvclFkNU9KTGt5K2NoelN2VzRpVA%3D%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(246a114c90d7f90363013602385b9d76).jpg)
“I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.” – Bonnie Schacter
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNUxvSjRmcHpTOW8zREcyUXZyUmR5dUFpU3pZTEo1SXBMbWQxam9kbzZpQkJuSWRjNkRWK0FpMzBKb2lDYTFzejNQU3JxdTZzM3lkMDZLV25LdC8wWmZVRnJNMFNPcjlXelBMNmxvK1NnQ3JwUTRaQXFxOXVsUFZENmNJdmduajcwPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(a2c8fa991cfe7b3ec3896952f9219c3d).jpg)
“Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because it didn’t want to be a hot dog!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUlN3NXpITm1ReGFGSU1MOUp1b3c3L0RvRHVkSnFqQXdNbzd5Ymhva0orRnB0OXFpYUROcnRPUjhxYTlmbUVaaExZdXN1N3h0MmhFTi9GMlU3ZW51dzJObWZaNWR6eXZRTFo3T2VNUHVSY3Y5MnREMDdkQUpaemNobmgxRkQwNGg1QVE2ajBSZEpxRDVoOXFrdlVkZ01DR0FXSlQ4ZytoSkJiSFJMcDNhVkJG/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(c27485d34a37134cf734dcb47fa16c59).jpg)
“I named my dog ‘Five Miles’ so I can tell people I walk Five Miles every day.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWksyU0I4OTQwdW14dXNCK1JkTGp5NDF6eEFFRXpiejIvWXFHR21EVW9lYXJDL0NWRUhMbDF3bHczVkhKWFdNdnIxYldzS2ZmTTFOZllPenhQR2NzYms9/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(ef63d0910d21d6ed9790f0f9888d0053).jpg)
“In dog years, I’m dead.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZXRqTHVBUit1MWF0VkM4UEZhN3R3aUJMamViQ0xCU09LbWVaLzJ3anF5NEt4bWxTekRLOU16TG9JdHcxalpnME1sSWRoTDM0NWlXbU90MFAvUk1PNWpIWUxkcnE4TElTeDN4clZHbzI4OGg%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(9b1341cb50325fbe3f49b018dc06cb94).jpg)
“I like big mutts and I cannot lie.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvTXhqT00xejJ5WVB1eG5sbkF2ay9hZm5mZGtQSDNYUkVHL0gzOTh5YVNSWVp1RSsyalRCdXhtRzFZYWw5V1B1bitITHhYZXNYWStGUlNXNEJPWXhhUXh4cURCTjdKSWdPV2JjMkcwS2NJc0VqTWx2elRid0wvR0x1Y2hpWkQraTBXeTEyWXU0SHdSQmljQzZHOFdhSU1sR09ZZ3drempVZlhDOU44R2pOVkdOQWpVamhWMU9YZFUxS3ZPc0tVRXhkUT0%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(43af54a14a769bb230c426d209549ccc).jpg)
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give Fido only two of them.” – Phil Pastoret
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYnhiUlVNUW5uLzUyVklpZnlNU2RVb2lkdVI1WTlNVlF0MjBWcnlGWUwvYlRUTjR6RHlpN3FQeDhVSzVXL1B2c3B4aGRSQ0JNR09FNjdxbXFPM3BDVnBEMENrQlRiWWNHWnd4U2c3TnhKQ1ltaWJtaTdjdDNnM3BrRm45K095UXVRPT0%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(c1a9a517e2f54041a647b515e003ca54).jpg)
“My dog is not spoiled, I’m just well trained!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYnhiUlVNUW5uLzUyVklpZnlNU2RVcW51d3VrSXQ4VHc3ejd4cFE0c2lVNHo2QmxnYWtVL1NONzRMR2VtYVFLMDRTWGtiNkgva2FoQmR0d055bnlxVVdUUTVsSk82NnRDeG41d1VlckNLOXlMR3hySm01K3BPeDRHVWZDc1FvRFpsSkFHZ0NHMnRPYzVmQVJrY3JWTExhaWY1UVdlQ2FaU0xRTGxrNDZJTlFmSnJxRTUzYnk5UERTWWpHVDg3aGVWZmVHbjl2UDNMNTN5SkQwWGY2NDBQMD0%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(8dc4cb8453861a6c488bea7a95a75f8a).jpg)
“My dog is not just a pet; he’s a member of the family. Specifically, he’s my crazy uncle who eats my socks!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWUnNzVDBuUzBYcDVDeUh4NTd3MjM2VlBxNGdKaVdTY1lsUVZReXNtdlUwRUZGNmgyL3VRMTB5cUV5YWluc2wzZ3c9/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(415fa6d2911ad8c7efe0b02ce5912525).jpg)
“Life is short. Buy the dog.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZWNqeGNkMlNhTkxPdnVENjJHMTdXeEgwUWFsdytaR0Vya2s2SVF0V2ZxZUF5Y0pnajNFOFNZZlQvdkNGSVZOVjh2VlRPbjdrSUhFK1lyQlV1eGN6SjNqdUVtalY2akdiY2RscGxGdi9aNE96MC9lRStrcTRaZGhjL3YyUjVCK3hqdDlJVkJRSEVEcHNBM0gwbUdFZ2N6S3Z6V0FRWFVBTXNMYXpmZ2dINk1TZU5lTHVXb0p3eHFpb1NBVVBUUmJveW9BQVJYZW5TR2VWSThjSEp3bGJ0WT0%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(b9eafc56c2d006e473aa7543ebacd6c9).jpg)
“I wish my dog would stop chasing his tail. It’s driving me nuts. I can’t go anywhere near the plug socket!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVlXUHVqY0l2dEZ2SkJ2a3E3WlllaURIQ051bVdBRFhwdEw1MnNlK2FGQ2RmV0V6S3lpeGYzNXJxcVdYZWZaMHVseXJTQWxma0pzK3ZrTUR5SnliaWNBUVZkckhKdE51SEhhemRSNWM3OU9Kdmtid0hlMXRvRXBJdG9aTXdySGhSR2NPY0QwalJuRlVhQUZnTmIyVHJnVnpDWEJESkp5RXhNenNSWTJLa0I0VktFUHhxYXh0cS8zYWRPdUt4UUFBbVFsaktEN3MzMTlKV08yR1dJc3RkST0%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(ba57aa858960f60f87fe11fa8f958fa6).jpg)
“Cats have nine lives, but dogs don’t have any. That’s why they’re so loyal, they only have one shot at life!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVlhqSmxFdjN1Uldpd0NUNW9ETVFQY3VoNkZzMU43Y05MWll6MDRHZjBQV0pYQzRLbDY4eXBEc1czMTFTQkhuRUVLVGpBMDQ4NzdJWmdSd2VHaDdrck9HN0paZUdGSUlLdWV5MWhOK3pUVHRIRUtlU1VOTlN1b1NSYUZCcGhEc0Rzd1drQ3ViY01wY0Q3RHZ3dzc0b05GSEJzeExyUFEvMnZFOXJMYVFuTDg4dkR2SG02MDdhMzl4QmZRSnc0NlZValA4WVhOSUo1cDE1M2JZaUQ4V2k5R0NpaWc1cm90aGpPVmY4aFJuZ09JQ3c9PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DOG+QUOTES+SAYINGS/(dc12d57dc98194634c12f9cd9a654b45).jpg)
“I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'” – Unknown (not dog-specific, but still funny!)