![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUW1nY3BXOHdzR29kMFZzcnFOUDRqTlR3cXI3U0ZYUlJyV0JYK0lZY3haNWlNNGRqZGIwdENsL2pCa3RvZTRXbnZvSkZHMkxhM0gxMGc3U2RCZDVHR1diWWFqd2ZvWlRqdUJ4aE8xZjQzZVZSbWVONDdzbDQwZ2ZlQklmdTBhaDBKbXloN2lzS0dNSlRlc2U1SVFrWHZRQnc3WlYySEQ2cHJnY29FSEFDK0U2/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(1f686006b969d1dac85e9da00ad06b62).jpg)
“I always find that life is more enjoyable when I’m barely keeping it together.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZEVieU53cnplVUE3UTgyaGdXQk5vLzBUSUdhNjdlNFAxU2xCa0dFTDZnTFMvWG1MREQzalJFaEpBT1QrZ3RnVlg4b1QybGZacUpmUUpjbFpRdmE3LzBCNW1PaE9HM0VJaGJzd0h1RHpKTndnPT0%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(bbcc8c7bf462209e6a38d0503b7c63a6).jpg)
“I’m not late. I’m just chronologically challenged.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWi9Fd2IxZTNrT3dkWVNwVGhrSGh1YjZyU1hoVzVob3JPMUJiYk9IeUxyQk5NdmpnemhrUVVpeW54S0Z0eUovZWpMazJSbEo0bHFLRVoyR3ZRaXp3MjJMUGlOcTB3VFNzVXoyZ2FjR1dNUGcwRkFSU2Z1ZkU2M2VLNkxTYlFCalZBPT0%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(0148407337b1a9f10d5651cee9c5fdac).jpg)
“I can resist everything except temptation…and pancakes.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWXFGTUJidEVySVVtamFaV1N3a2d6OCtvZGtKd1hYRnIrWmg5c2xybDdUR3FBbnNEeEZKUHMxM1NaZTVzZkpYb2dQL1JydkZtazBqOXVlY0lvWm9LQTZHRmtSVnVQMGhtcDkyZC9zL2wrdE9tTTFQT093c2o5dnB2d01VSVMxVzlPa09SY2VpZTRjQ0NodjJRN1RLM2tnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(93b7110795191fdb80078f85a66940de).jpg)
“My life is like a romantic comedy, just without the romance and the comedy.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEpxOC9KV1RJR0NmTWVUNjBqS1lPVC9ndURWd3hmZFV4dXdWRDZNWCt3Q0h0YjJWSFU1bm1LOVpLZE9ZcVVIQ1crUjdlZ2Y0RVBEbU02ak9aTTZCUHFhR3p4M0pvaWErMGRvVGVXNFJHTkZaUUluUXNEY3pYSGpFd2VCSGMxeVQ2ODFVb0NBQmtVYmJjVUU2R29ybVpoVlJtNjhEcUxKMUIzYmR6QStNQWZP/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(ff60e81ec3c75da7080f024ed5c2e9f3).jpg)
“I wasn’t sad; but then I saw a bag of cookies and realized I didn’t have one.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWR4K2JneDQzbncwNWVnVERJNHk2M0dQWHA4ckNMSzVCTHhEVXVpYVMzYURlZWRMMUkyUlFxQXYxSmpTalQ3V212VTg4WTNyTSttQzUwLzIwUFN1RGsyWlBXNE1Uak10RFJSYXFrWDBFb0VRPT0%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(f217d861d33c20a57f9e4f17dd46ca37).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV2hzOHJIbUY0akRoSnVvSGd4ajIzMVVwOVVYemVNanFPa2JFS0pyY245bnBuQnBPbnRaUGRQOHhXano2eC94ZU5RUFI0WDhRQktRcWU4enpiTGlWc2NPVnVJUXREa2xCbjVZMFZURmVMUE4xUE5Fam9JTGExMmhzNWhJcTJxd0pRPT0%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(40ec76ba4a028dfc12a4001b2094492b).jpg)
“If there’s no chocolate in Heaven, I’m not going.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY2VuT21zeTdicEd6cmp0d0NjVFlwQnN1aWVITFpER1hSMGhPYkhtV3BENDVDdE5VUFRVOHRmaHJMWTdLUWhOdTcxS2pXQndMM056MGtNdE5tRzB5TmJzNmlTYjI0U1BJaEpVWDhTOFVVaGRPNEM3WWsxdHRza01rTkJNemZlRGNTdFpSSlMwb0VYazI3QTh3ZWpDY0JRPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(5f9ad74128a34e610cc383a0adad9259).jpg)
“I just lost my mind. I’m pretty sure the squirrels took it.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVjlRSi9tU2VnYVQwaGNDT1hmbDcrY0VUMVgvYm8rMXJDWXlLR2gzSXMvTzZJV21XRDI2QnE2Y2NoeWsyVmlHQW1ZTC91WUtOMWZKUWF3VVNrdG56Sk5Qc0N6dG5JQW9VS3hCUXM0VzB0QUNqeUpSeWlPOXJyb2Y3Q2VoSUUvdnFrTU53U3owdXZPL2FyZktOMjNYV2w4PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(ade717f956cac8127dc7ada47ce8d059).jpg)
“I walked into a door this morning. Just trying to be rebellious. Doors hate me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZktyako4N3M3bkkycHhNbk1NVXhmVnlYa3h0RzF0TTRBQ3lPSTlJQ2NvV2dZUFVoejdLUGlyR3EyQm0vbGlJY0ZZcks0QW9EUStWdmowMWp3RXFUZ0d0NVJEWmFwUEp0NDk0amlxaGlTS2ZBPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(3d032c47b4f972416b84f374f0d1bf20).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0FlWjlFeUtrNG90TXJHeE9xaCtTckZTT2Q0Vnl5ZFhaMWdreHp2WWJwbEdia3hGczQ3VXFTNExXWUNpWXBNSnJtTEgwV3o1MDZlT3RFNXdPNGtUS0t2NW5RbkU0c01VSzlMLzZmUzNZZzZEeUw0a2NnTDBEOWh6Qmg0NnhNdzhRPT0%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(6d276080adf0b2b32532b52d8ca64f3d).jpg)
“Some people just need a high-five, in the face, with a chair.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUlmQXl0RkpKYTNMUUJmd3hwRHNzV0JNUTNFVXY1eTdzcEY2SENHSVZseWc4TzYzU0xoZEtrQWxLVkNVT3ljbXZnTFNvYURsYkF5MUhxKzlsNEJtSUxGczl3U1hJNy9seTVMUXJOL0xKRzI%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(b1fbe6edc36211aff941ce3553a8e07a).jpg)
“I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aVVrNmUxUFdZMG5Lb1VOK1hqcUYyWnpBd0x6dHNwNnlzcFJBcDR5L2ZEMkh4N0pjY0RKWVQrNWkvWnFnMytNMWx1bHBjOEhsTjNYRkVnaXF6TU1oNzZVZG5iQ1RrUlZrMEpQUDdQRGtxT0xLdzg5TU9UeHA0c09YRVQvemkxSDdnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(b56d858517fdf4815340eda535821626).jpg)
“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0lQRGhmbnkvNkNkNXFXUGRjb2Fob1hmRlZVOUE0S1FjZ093WTFyK1haM2k2TGlrYllZSHBpbmZxUkpUTEFGOWpKQlBLeGJvZWpSUDhGVWJ1Mm9XVVFrZmwzeGU3bXJJTVRjdHpraHRqR1p5ZXRWczJmU3VocVllcEQzaHA2Z2N3PT0%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(ac2b8a7a7e9aa7b77c1827c2e9a64702).jpg)
“Marriage is like a walk in the park – a Jurassic Park.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkQ2R3ZhU3gvdUxheW40WlkwTExiZWVZQ1VDemw4NjNYdmlXOTk1anZIQVBuRGJyMEVQTjE4Lzk2UWVyb05VWC9EY2ZSMGpLZVkzazVHcnFlcFh5SFgwVWErcUpiMEswdzFFcFNNbW9wbHRnTG1NVXdzeVhBSmxpcS9aVHNES2E3VnRLT3NkamI4ek1naCtURHBkOHVpeElsNEc0RXRuMnZlMmxFM0dtbjdFS2VTYVlRWHNrQ2ZNMkxHUHNoVVVPZz09/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(be8c1266f2891a0f04edc1e768f35e09).jpg)
“They say laughter is the best medicine. Clearly, they haven’t tried chocolate.” – Unknown MY FUTURE SELF QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0tOR21CT0FGNk45NWkyNHVIUXpOTXRkK2w1WXVNSjR1QVZ4ZHB6NjExZ0hNNUFXNzgvZWJOVmNIejJMS0hnVXdLUG8yb2ZMRG5ydDhkR3BHakNLaFc2QWRycGhXNVR2OFc2VU9oOFgzT2pEclJKdlpjMFdyWXpGUUxaWHNwVERZPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(e0c22c9c237022fd57d03e14ef6b96ec).jpg)
“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1hxVEd6YnpUVG1oRFJiTEE0dkFMMFZHTW51VUZ2ZmtWUmtiQmdPeWZrdEYwbzAxdEVDMklXUlJCQWRNWklLK0dQK2lFb2srOVlzcSszZ0ZrR0JSeElURzU1a0hZMlNqY2NjekVIbWxOc0NPbzVvdlkzekpadUszbU1ZQldUdDZ0d3VLV3hCSGR0TzNLYmpXZFBXbFNGaGxQSVlVeTNHYXp3ckpMZHlObVhRQzYyRGRodXcwa3ZieUR4ekhTS3lOaz0%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(e86c8288d5a84e7c84f7c0171fea8361).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWXlWR1pPSUZnajMrRGZGT0RkOUZxdUhKN3NBS1htUkR1V3dySUxtbmYxMk0xL2RDT1ozanVsS0Y4S3QwV3VhMEtydFAwRGlhR3VyK1R3ZVo0Y1l3WWdBam42UnZkYUhsZDNUU2R0MVBhalkxRUF3UmhmVEVhYjZ0VU1rdFViWUkyc0NFNDNwMXlVOVVMRXFqN2pUR3h4bWVCMEtKNnFwY1ZLcWxMM3hTYUxW/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(80cda6103ef217af140178e37a3dc4c4).jpg)
“I wish that my bank account wasn’t the only thing that could make me smile.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z2EyemtBSmRuNTVXMENISklaaS80WFVxRGQxRndSeWtJeURKZ2VQSEhuWWNhNitxcFpjdGhsMUpBbUpSS0Q3c0J2Y1U0dmJIeXgvYU85K21IeUM1dUltdytNcXdFZUhjS0QwTUZyeitEY3FBPT0%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(0e79bc5bdcf92d0f282d7f653eb8c469).jpg)
“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZHNreGYxVnk5cDRHN1FVTVFBZGo1NmZJTWFPc1ZpTjQ3bzd5ajV0Y3pucVZ6dExKNEdiRldMamRYTFZQakpqdG1JTk9GMG5lcHJKNVhmZEJPK2VyWUhZc0h5d3VRVkJaYVBRSlVocXlaSXdUcGMxVnpFVUxuQlYvdlZORC9Ja01EOFVGeU5xVXgvOVR6M0o0NEw0YW0wdXE1OS85T0Fic2tKNlRFcG5mQ0pCUT09/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(be2f6f7b333eddf1ae9426d94440a84e).jpg)
“I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV2hzOHJIbUY0akRoSnVvSGd4ajIzMDRuSis0emdWWWc2amttY0pxMXhQMXB3NmZJVmtKcXcxVHE5blliRmlVaHZrRFB5aHRFK08wZmFYbGtSMlJJbFRwZWg5SXdXdWVtNEU3YW1xNitmc210SHBQUlhyc01XRXBFbVhTbGw5RENwR0RhS3ZrVVQvelpaMmVWK3kwaFgvY09kRmdTalVmWU9wVmZ5dzl2R0FmUTJjbWczdDE0N3V5MlVaeW01MjYyb0w3Rmp5cFJUOVFxc2Jjb0JqMkZmTT0%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(57599fcbad8581500838d5e96acae60f).jpg)
“If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s hiding my emotions. Just kidding, I’m a total mess.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZjNzdnVIU0VCcytENmpVd1VWMGVCTU51VkY4b1JyNkdwVnZ0YTNyTjdKYStQdVNZZElac1FDR3o2SlhTRHdxVTk2OUhmT0FkQ0dEd2I2Z3N5bVg4WjFuREt4OThON29JYlVtU3lQQVB4aGgzWGZuZjVaejJ5UEVRSEp6cWpybXJv/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(4022bd507c44d899ad8e30ba9b1a2bb4).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWXFGTUJidEVySVVtamFaV1N3a2d6L3UzMEdDY3BPMlc5MHkvbW0vc0V5N2cwWUo5SkR0bFpkZDZCcEw2ZEZNZkVNRy9KWU9vTHdGcjVPSHZ6emdqMStVVU9kS0VXdi9hNEQzZ1hoK1hENXoxWkhsenJRU2UrSndpQmNsK1hIZ0VqMGRMTC9qT2RHcnZUQk1BR3FSSWdXTk9tREtGMXM3bUNTck1CZ3d0OHNa/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(20a28842ad297c0517b128528d8ac3e4).jpg)
“My life is a constant battle between wanting to be alone and not wanting to be lonely.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aS9Hdnl4SVNsUUxUajFKT2E5SEttSVBRM09hcW9FMjYxWC8zOURad2YxMm5SYVUzV0tZNHRXZUZHbzlHaGlTUnlqMzdsS1VSVzhOd1lHRUxjYnh1OVk%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(4ff3cc9cd5485e6a6e81f9c4ed970c21).jpg)
“I don’t need a therapist, I have sarcasm.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZVVLNUlGUzRkK3BadGZhSE5vMjBrclNwM1h2K1NZVWJ2MzhZUFQ2dmtsamN0QjZOOG5YeEg3M2l5WnY1SCtYWmFvQnlHVlMxNjBMc0F2UW5ZcWQ3R1VKSnN5cUhSUWxpVWxrSDExWElmNUZIdlBPc0V4cFo0Q2d3ZGR1SjUyUlNJPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(fef789fa0bd92690d6004027835395bd).jpg)
“I’m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWXFGTUJidEVySVVtamFaV1N3a2d6LzIwZTdwRXBXdm9teVhraTNuOHNEOGVDTXkvVmEyMndMeDFDc0VBb1FXOUV0T25oOFZLaThZK2hDN3NFNVp2dTN2VlkxMGM3Sys4VDA2RHIwclQ4MmRkalRGZjFSdUF1b01UY2I5OVNnRjFlK0hwK2UvYnB5OGgySnZIWWg3VWFXOGd4ZXY1UzEvM0J3Ti9vdHpCUlluNThNMU5KOThzTmhOMXpBb0prcVZkdz09/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(4250cc2f7be723748b3133c24118d0ba).jpg)
“My life is like a book, but instead of chapters, it’s just a constant stream of awkward moments.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUmNlemNoU1JzZTZONk5DbXVaSWl2TWVLYmV0eTVDam8rK0ZHdENOaTF0NE9wVXZlNkRhNHF1Z05GV0c2VDFiZkRjbFhRZnNWbGVsRnBLR3N3YmQyMlg1Mm8zenhYWFUvQ1FZK3hudE9KM29xTjNhV3hwYlRsb1FjOHRxeDZxUjhBPT0%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(a2048e43d64c2f1650a3b0d2564411d0).jpg)
“I can’t adult today. Please, don’t make me adult.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aVBid3hNanFBSmJxOTlNWG5jTVJyZFl5K2pHb1A2aG5TTXE2Qzh5SjhNNVpDNmtFQkF6d0FKWW5QSTBoeWVWSUEwdW0vRDk2L2dMdm82MjlpWnhlU1M0cTFneXJoeWZVMkZXUndBbHFjWFBLTVJsNkFyRStkUjRwN2dHOVRTdVdZPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+SADNESS+QUOTES/(e315b7b5f0b992f5989ed0e28dd6d96e).jpg)
“I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.” – Unknown