![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXhQRHhUWTVWb202Tk9zMWNTUWo4dE04eVE3N2RTdURDNFJTMXFMQXlXTzNzazVQcm1EaitqVkl4cWNncUd3RHQ2Smt3WE5YVURTNmlRMUhFeUt5WUF5d2hHVUcvNGVPV3liTlhLeEh3TWcxc1J6RWlvNmJkUGQrU0ZpSG15ZEt3PT0%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(5b3f7233b53862c11141fc6b0ca3923f).jpg)
“At my age, getting lucky means finding my car keys.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZnRrRGdkVGhOSC91OWZONkFOajlMVm02elNLYW83akZyV0dLWVYrK3l1bzYvZExtdEJ3NDdWcGZTdThtU241NTRjOC9DUUU2S2tCSXlNZ2FEZnpnVDBnPT0%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0a78cced52ccb267e08b0616f258aa2d).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZW5vTk9XNzlNT3dVQ1EvYzdlV0RVbDREdm5PODluQnY0TkhidnVlaFVpT2xQeTh3N0tlUmdWcVlTKzVWdG40VlpLNnlldmxZS3llTDlvKzlNUFN4UEp4c2dMaVA4UFNsa2JwcE1CMFZQZGd2RXRNdnJjdFpEb0NDMlhLT2pVZUh2dmdpcGtIbm93UWFOQTBRbXkwdC8z/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(14d6998201aec4a9d027d384f462e5fb).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to rearrange everything on the floor.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRYy9ha0NtbE1rcEVWbEk1WnAxMTNyY3VQclVCSVF1ZHhleWVKdlZkQWR1dkxTVlFGUkI1OFJSaWIyNzh3OUFIQjJDQ3B4a1d6aWwyeTJya1JXbXcraklFTFZUQUZDUGovNnNoTWFyNXhqeDJXaVVjYTdFUmgyTDQyMWJ4R25SakNJdXcyNlFyZDRqMXo3T2J4TmVoeldN/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(825d89516fe383cc425b3631a9b44dcd).jpg)
“I’m not shy, I’m just holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkl5RGYrWXRKdHY3NGQ4NTZXYkJtQ3F1ajdJNGpEYWUvaG0xaVo5MjRIVU5Ybis1QzNlUDZkTmdwMWFRQUk3bWlER3RhWE1wZzh5RTZUWGRnanNVWTRNUi9WcG5DM25BUlBDSll4VkV1RFZmbXlWdEJUeDFwREdPdnY5OHkrQUZZb0FEbFdzcGtRN0FjZHFNRFZMT2dVPQ%3D%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(5645b502fc57bbfe1c1d52198485acff).jpg)
“I follow the three R’s of living – Receiving, Recycling, and Regifting.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUl6YmJBNU8xem5vY29vbHRMOFRTWTZWS0ZvOFh2M3dDYm9rNnBic2hrTStsb0FkY3JPY3ViZ1VWejJTMlJpVlZiRjB5K3dxUlBQeGxxSlcxSFlmNUVNYXZOYTFPeTVjREZBTmpZQVBieDFRb3l2Q2VGcHVESlNlQy9GQVR4b2t3PT0%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(5c3171cabd38993b30cbffb11d5b22a2).jpg)
“When life gives you lemons, sell them and buy a cupcake.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUhtam5XalBwQTFwYWFjRGpFRlhMbmcxTU5ORUI1MFB0eS92cU5uQkRIMXJENW9MMjVPenhIV2lXdFBwSTQrTnRPR0ZPYVc1VC9tSW4zNHN4Um8yUHQwdGpTT2RxczVMWWIycTVyZkFCTHVTQUY0Szh2SFE4VVhuYXV5cW9OUFFVTlhza3djNWZJZ2xkU095b3dzeU13PQ%3D%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(2f9d44429e703ad2fc93b4694c2c7f79).jpg)
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWW9tZkY4L29zWGw4RDJOcGhoakhZa2p0R2t3TVNKNGFUa1RYVjkrcmNjUTNDWTFpaDhYdUQzVnVvTGE4ZjdrSis0b2VHTkxLNkVLenE0VkpoZGQ0TFZiR0dEZUFFYWNyR2JBd3h2dkE2akg%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(9f9108b8393dd40228be2036629d0b1b).jpg)
“I put the ‘Pro’ in procrastinate.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWWhINXlta3BRVkJyZUJUdUNjRTVvemNvWjYvRktCTk1XOE5mc3dpaTBWcSt1d0kxdDBJNFM4SGdJblFndldERHhJckZQU2VDUW8wTVIxMW1ZNW5kY3FISk5FcVNPNEVaQ3dQQ3haeGkxK1k5K3ZLY2FjZ1BEYzZvT0llUFRRQUp3PT0%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a982eb0b4c669915dc4954fe8628d313).jpg)
“Seriously, if I was any lazier, I would be in a coma.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU2I4dlg0ZlVTOTNoOE9jeGszMis0NzdnNUczWlI5TzdaVlREK3drZzhNOVoySmpvK0ZCOWNnQzZjQlh0VDFJdnBGbU5OaFRaU2FxTkJvY3c1ZmRjZ3p6V3FZck92QzBvYkxCNlVhMTBwUTA%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(12541a2a055bc4f511a5f09f572fbbd9).jpg)
“I don’t trip, I do random gravity checks.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU2I4dlg0ZlVTOTNoOE9jeGszMis0NXRJdHEyNGNrS2IyVks3MElEb2I2VXdXVnA1L2lMSVI3SThWMEw5Vno2TnF2emRiRm5xZGljVit2L3FaVXN1Ylp1b1hPOW5rdXhsRFNYbDd6YXlFV1E5SXJVdjRqWUFIY1p2bzh1M2w0RVRRPT0%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(1decc3cb30a0905c901664d40ff0233a).jpg)
“I don’t need an inspirational quote, I need coffee.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWR4K2JneDQzbncwNWVnVERJNHk2M0dQWHA4ckNMSzVCTHhEVXVpYVMzYURlZWRMMUkyUlFxQXYxSmpTalQ3V212VTg4WTNyTSttQzUwLzIwUFN1RGsyWlBXNE1Uak10RFJSYXFrWDBFb0VRPT0%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f217d861d33c20a57f9e4f17dd46ca37).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVjFOaWlaZVVQdmxaQ3dJVXVLVHdldzRCNlBpM0psbVpvTDdqelJ2N3FYVkhYay8zcEY3aVphR250T2VXVWM2dDA3N1UyT3Z4OWh6RnF0enFCZWVleUlkMVFWV3ViRGxwRzhvbWtNOEFtMWlielRMNVBoU3M3YUdRQkYyMDA5bi93PT0%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f33a94c7ee82930a7b4a7ddcad077b0c).jpg)
“My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY3FzVTUvY2doanBqQ083d2VIREZBMFhGVEhnZDZsTjZpTXgyV1FJNFozTWpjcGFzalJNZGlyTzJqSzlkWi9CN2hVVDZGUFN6K0tSL1BwaGhDNzQ3djljNmRsMGExMlZYZlRxeHZJc0dBK0o5bStYWTdEWksrclhFUTNPSWd3WjNvPQ%3D%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(4b57fa2134f3cb8da29182228ab783b0).jpg)
“I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.” – Unknown FAMOUS LYING QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWnJjbGxYbStZUk1VV1VsdDZmTEUrZ3ZzOGZrRk9VbW5iTDZKZE9SSW05azh4a3JlQjgxbElzSlphQy9XUnpXc0ZwRFZMM1hvVmJEYUtoT1ZGcVh6YStUbFFOQ2ZrTzBJUkZJbER6eVFiS1I%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(5c300111fa2e3994b6f0a2a2a71c391c).jpg)
“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjVrR1FUWUhIWXlncDFwaWlROWxUWCszM0s2cFRiU2M2eUY3WUJWWUZQOGdjVTlmSkhWeFNlaThLcnQzUUZzSXpzQWkxU1ROSDNJK0s0R2dqUDEyNHliVHZkWWlUcjhoeFBjY1I0YTh2RXA%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e8fdcc2c38bc02a75333d8b1f51a2277).jpg)
“I love my job only when I’m on vacation.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU09rMmdOMnE5WWxXd0wyUFdGVzNFMDFBV05OVmtnbHRGeDREQ3VuSVl1QlA3QVQrL1JCQkJabE41cjIwb1dyODN5TmpFZWNoY2piWmlQRUZxeE1CVnU4ZEdiMzJnSWF3YmRPZnZIRDZhZ1lMb296ZUplcHZLQS9jc3VFQ0p3SUFZcEszaHFKaXpWZFNabXY2bVBpc09PWDBodk1uRnRvV1JJU2xieGsrU2th/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(1eb261653a9f89c7ed63188b5b5e60c3).jpg)
“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU3ZBc1BmaDV5SVRJVjk2bUFvdHlTOG1wZVppbjRDM2Njc0dvNE94UVlHcFlUenhBa2QvS3MvMit0LzVkeE1pS0s1bWhNSVN6cFJkM1Z4eHJtOTJQQml5T2I4WXpRZU9kZ0xseHhMazQ4TkVXTnVaTEhvd3A5SU8xZVpIQnZjcmFRPT0%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f5f94ed7704116bc8db41d2fa875cbd6).jpg)
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZU5QU1p0dld0RWhIS1NTTWJRVGNNZ2kwOUhSb2VlVUFRdllCY2FKWlNMUVFSTU9oWWQwZHBqZHlJSytGVjhuamcvZEZCMVBkTkNjNCtIcUdCb3NvU3I2YTAvbmkyZEgvaGk0blZLNjZCNXR1NVhrV0pqaFkvU0pxeDUzYVZ5WjFqU0JtYi9FamlYUXd2ZnZ2UEs4QUZsLytCUENoTDhHdlkreHhVaEwzYnJnellYaTFZZkE1eVk0SWlSdEJRUFFDb1ZJRkdiREg2YWFTMHQ5Y0lUQ2VIdg%3D%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f0dd7ce8214d8cd3605c08eeb8d60e25).jpg)
“I’m not saying I hate mornings, but I’m definitely not a ‘jump-out-of-bed-and-seize-the-day’ kind of person.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFeHVIelJ4blF3K1hQbkNtcmcxeWlWMzByNlRnZXU1by8vbjVMYkJ5Vko5aEtrM2orcEFKbkNYNG1RZ3Y1UE44WTI5K3JmSGJxWXgrZEdDU2xmdC9TY2pvUmhmQ2g5YTFZNGdyRUY0eC9NcHg5RU9zT2pCeWE4ci9rWHR2b3hGa1EwPQ%3D%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(38ca1a4687638935d3d73b2f08612923).jpg)
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDNpcEZNTkxRUlhUUDZ1MEtwc29rTzFNcmQ4TmJaNm1wZDhSM2tRNG9aQmc3d3NFRTY5RVBURzMrc2RhcUo4TlpIRVdPNVRtYjNyRHJCQWZkVVNrT0tBQjZTYTJJYjBzMi9HYkVlaWx2SWtnPT0%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(68df4a8746be6d0e864479c3d8d8523b).jpg)
“I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aDZwRWpwR0JxaUxUWHBPUUovVXhaOFJ2UXRIRXBvVDZyN0dXbytmMk5wdUJJL2lXbStoNkd1Z0pqVTN3YzBaeDZHY3RhK2JxSDgvZXg4YkJoc01PS3dIeEFwK3IvMHZiSXRmNjZhUzY2Ym4xTThKSVFQbTlzbWRGK2pPL1RUU0JOaWYrZ3AvVnk2VEt4d2ZRZFRjSFhM/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(aff050978c91304372111ae091621b47).jpg)
“I don’t have a beer belly, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZUZ2NnpXM1J6aXdTeHRXUXJDNHN4ZU13ZngrT2FGOUxPTmwvZHRyZkVnd0owL3h3MlpSVU12cWkwOVF3b2JxVUVSN0lnbHNZdU9UTDVxaVhzK3N2VzMwK3lSeDVjb2NzbnhjMnhCMkZZSGx3PT0%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d60834593ecefc9853c38c0c600104f0).jpg)
“I’m not aging, I’m ripening with a funky smell.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEVIdWlYUTA0TnBUQ0lXaC92SEpjV3lpZytucDdvY1p3Y0J1QVhKZFlaSFlCenQ4QmhtTUpuVUhheW9sUThya3FNZmw5dlFSbEZaTnl5ak5BZ0dIZkxTRERlU3VQMUU1MDVQejBKOURHU0liSG9SaUJKRU8yekM0OGdjRWpBNHpRPT0%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(359e6aa4954cea25c79344d490317195).jpg)
“I was born to be wild, but only until about 9 pm or so.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY3NXNExFNjNiMWs5UDlKOVJyZlVUcjV5RFdPeXdiNUQwMnh5NXdNd1ZtVTg0N0JDN1h5N2pZbTBXUTk4T2Nmcmc5NVFqSkgzamZTS1RDRTVWYUFKQWwvYWMzTm9walp6Vzc4Y051VVlXVkNiN0xlUG95ZENYK3VLQjBvQklGdWxWd3I2dVFLZHYwTkVOdUR6bFl2ajJVPQ%3D%3D/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a7520a7c4d5a15dcfe53977cf37717e4).jpg)
“Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it the most never use it.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZmZFREo1L3VZZnVqMXlaUlBuUmowSDV4b1BSZTBPZi9RRHVoMWZqVVY1QjFPUXZEdVJoWC9UTGE5TlpJb1FnandSN0FLQWVyc2E0V2xPeWxHeUxYZlRCcU02TWsvZ21iMjJ2OHlrSGJ3ZFZtN0x1SStkejRxOGVHSzAwTEVsRkEr/STOP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(cff7ebd2b684bc3b6385b95b845c1fa2).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown