![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVFDMklhWDBhMGJGMXFkckcxYWZRMTZ1VWxRVVdPN3NnVVZNWUVGeGZDNEtCSGM1ZTRSUHJVczBXYkh5dXEyN1Y5ZnAyOHdwdWxoN1RnWGZzNG5peVExai83TEk2VWp3OGsrRXVWcWNaeC9wUzU0VjFjaWxobmR4TGxqM2JQVUhBPT0%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(ceb294ef225a7eaf2c2c470d778e9d73).jpg)
“May all your problems last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcExDYU55V1ZXeUhzR0tDYUpJSXlVMjJMNDJxSWJ4clAvR1hlSGlPM1g3ZFZUR3piZmFzYlEySG5NWDBYV084UExkdGNuZTZtK0pQMlZ3ZDV2WFZUSmJOaWkzZXJrN09hclFJZjVLMVB4OGthT0xEYThGTnBiUnhMck00cGxDL2RmVkd1NXhKZ3N6STlqV25qZVpncmtHQT09/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(886506c55d3098028bfc6360410b7bdf).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxuV3FSNTQrVzdsNWJnc292WmRwR3RsWSt6d3BYRTAyUjJkUENvVTRXeGpaSC9OUVdzV2FtRzAwT3U2a002eW9ON3J2b0I5aDFLZUNVRUZpK29GVlQ1VTBwMTAzY2psVDd0dEdNYWRtdzQvS1FlcmMxMDYwNGYzODhPcmQ0MlFGUlVmM0haRWN1eUhBbUJjZXlPdE0xbW5Pc0dVU2laU3F4TUJ3NWxSeEdlNzMxR3Qyd3NGeURyTnNWMFRFZkcyUT09/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(d8626d9cd30fc348c0d74e089e336ebe).jpg)
“This year, I will drink more wine, eat more chocolate, and worry less about what I ‘should’ be doing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcGx5Tm5NYW11ZXdMOGRFK3ZESjcrMXozM2trZEFYeWI4eGJkTTVZMWJic0NWRS85MEhtTkxwSEpjUEk5bEZjMC9pY3FNbEVkRFYxWlgwSVlzOCtEU3hCblN3VVJUcVhMQmVJNzlOMWtkNzI4WHhrZ3cxSUZ5a091UTRpV2I1c3Yw/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(1dc2c0ce2a75082ff4539bc9ba80ac7e).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To avoid any form of exercise that requires getting out of bed before noon.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY29jVUFpWkJ6ajFHUEtrQXZxYXFuVWtVeXV2cXJ6cDRHNTJKaXp5RnZ3c2xXMFhUVVQyem1sdHlzRzBmOEk1SUJkMmJTNWZSRW51YzR0R2JuSlVJQ0VsUFVZZ21DQUVwd2VyVmxZcFBJMGsxcmQzRzVrMXo5VnEwV1lMcGRoYTJPbFE4WWZRS0RmenluNVQ3aDl0VnJvPQ%3D%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(b190a498f80a81a192c22475b643a0c1).jpg)
“May your New Year’s resolution be as short-lived as your enthusiasm for it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcHkvUm9QSm1LenpBVjZWQk03NDM1ZXVpdjlkMVVPS3VPZXZjZU4vbzhRRkxLZG92M3lHTHBtMnJ5dm9uOGMwR2lVREVqSUZ6enJ0LzduUE9XL2ZqcWZnPT0%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(88db774b866ecc33ade8fdc8e7fa4030).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: I will procrastinate less, starting from next year.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXMzdnZyT21tYWlOMG1ZVmh1azByOXgyd21IRkhSdDJQVXBhWkhNaVpRS0RXeitpTE5VVnRCdzQxd3IvK3FSS0c3U2RudU1SdzVndVhBbXF0TmRydkVTdEt4N2dPVDJqSno5KzJPTlBLQ2x0ZzRhS3A4U21IVG9WZDlYY00xWUs2cy9aQTN6N3JhaWRVc0Q4UVdBbVdKTlhGMzI2bjJ6RUFOUDFBemZ4M2Vm/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(9b77f8ba2763ccf2895f4976957286d3).jpg)
“I achieved so much last year by doing absolutely nothing. Let’s keep up the good work this year!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUVZsa2Y2bjJLbFRXYnhFdUxvVTlYTHJsL2JQRVZ0RGVRbS9xNStGMkU4M3d3NGRIak5hN09xKzVwNXRnamgvT2ErdXRUMWxnQjFxSEdBc2NQaTlVZldyeHhNNjJjZTdlQWVTOWdzeTdwWC8%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(86a97b1dcba9951fc68a19a5c3525ffe).jpg)
“May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcHpzbGJUNmE1UjR1eVU1V0ZhVnp1TmtLSGtoUEYyMVhoLzlnSmpuQmFrZktSWDVJeDh1RkMwMFhlVVpMK2lxS0wrcGVMQTZDbXV2V1FpK2pHaGxsdW1JNFFadHBTcDN4UWcrVDhuRS9WMGZNPQ%3D%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(0f87b966830189c26397593791026c60).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To remember to write the correct year on all my checks.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxuV3FSNTQrVzdsNWJnc292WmRwRi94MGY4aEhOMjlDQXFrUWFRL0p1M1MyS0RwVk4zTk9qMCt1Z0xnMDVwcmJ5VUdIQkFRL1k1QWMvOVYyZDMrOWJYZEZPNjZMK0VwaUVKS0V1TXp0ZE82MXJFWGI0a2RFT2lpTWExUlNHaW1RPT0%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(316ede8d71048319a93795665c8d3251).jpg)
“This year, I will embrace my laziness and not feel guilty about it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcGY1djlhNW9rZzdBMmJpeG5HWXlaeW5hQlozSXY2YlE1dzB4TjNtenBaTjJZdEp1TTkrQmRseE54UkFvSDV5bEE%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(addcda06cccc45d4863134e03987404c).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To procrastinate more effectively.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWWlJNVBRSTN6UzljelcwbFlUSS9Xa21RSzlqVDQ2c2ZsN2RGS0dMQytma25hMWJrK3hYNEcwRnduL1JnUE1mdEthL3BMUUpITnVqdFNGdjVieGpqNlQ1cUlYYVhteEIvUEx3SmpGWTRUTnFMRlVlaXEzeVorSnQ2M2YrM2Z6Y3c1K2U4OGxLeHh1YXVybkRReHUvNWdQa2psRHZGb215WHcrcmpuMW9qOTFn/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(d5211fd14986543b2521372d06a50608).jpg)
“As the clock strikes midnight, I will raise my glass and toast to another year of mediocre accomplishments.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcDB3MWFSUVgyVXVORjNGVFk3WTdSZ1BlNXBHNENvcEtvWGRkanBpYmxGNFdJUjh3STRFK2tMbEkvczRROEZMYnJSU0R1OTBHOW1BcmRCeGN3YW8rQ3laU0FyK0FCTUpZWjN5cVVxVlB2WmZwaUxVNzh6MVdCOVpEUXIwaXl1c1pXMXQ3RmVTUWhLaE1GSlNkV2NXQUZYUT09/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(7d8a7b2463dbd5636058d27e3e5a225c).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To get my life together, but not too together, let’s not get too ambitious here.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWjRSby9vcmhRRTN4bUxtVTNZbXlFUUQwd3JsaGNmdEFUb3plTlVGQmpuNzY0Q0RTd3lCeFBwQllzcDIxeE9ZSHBnVDd1cUdZc3dXMjRlbmdZSloxVDl1VlZCQUlGREtNcmhQVm1seGJRNXU0MXhJNzFiYTVIeUp1SXZaRjk2QlVrSTd6YmZSVDlzZ2lCRzdLaXFtVi80OElsOXM1NHgvUU9XRzV3SGtDNEpE/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(c3c47adce4ba2d47dd11f3c2f8325b4e).jpg)
“Here’s to another year of pretending to care about people’s gym selfies.” ENJOYMENT QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcGxVN0xyK3NCcGV5RXlkZmc5UTNKd0VJU01BZGgyQmI4NW51OHZzUUFpeEhTblZzWm5FOHZlSTdNRmZna2xHeDQ1VXJsa0IyQXlaWGdETEt5dnU0ZFZNQjlzY2V4R21sVkRENEtrQlAvc3ZvPQ%3D%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(25dfeca6205a890b36e20d615fcddeaa).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To learn how to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty for it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxuV3FSNTQrVzdsNWJnc292WmRwRWN1ZUZDeFFhZ3Fxbi9XZ3ZwaHR5WmI3c3lvTjQ5a0xTZE1aU3dHbS9LdCtTWkQ5bExHS0hxSkhiaXBwb21vOVNZY2pxV0xaUWtOcnVCSVJmZlcxVUJLRzRJaHBsZDBuZFJDZGRrT3FoMlZ3PT0%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(fdf5f2e4091ec8f9cb6fe455436fa777).jpg)
“This year, I will strive to be less mature and embrace my inner child.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcHBqeVNWdVZScURQSUVzYk4wSDIwWmkwbVVHZUxhL3RYL2l6ZFBVSzNRV1JPbmNLMTN5dkR5Z0hEMWR1L0hpMTVtWTBtM0J0bERaQmxiVHBDaTFuaGVpYmJwa0pVa3lQZitYSVIycTBod3dZSERaV3VvTGUvdHRJelZwNG50aTZx/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(504d92cd740e401135907c4f141012b1).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To use sarcasm more, because it’s not like I use it enough already.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY3g1eVdKOC9IT0hZbDIvaThPajRvUXNEU2UyRG5sMzYzcElsUjdqcnI0NXpFNzZINjJZUWJMYXB2d1dud20xRDdZeE8ySXp2YXFlV3VIdkdLZXBMZG1Iak5FTE5ZT3VnNTV2S1ljc3c3R0FleXRwdXQxV2VSNnRsdThMSVVLZWZ2d0RGNkFxeFgvellob3VFUHlBakxrPQ%3D%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(1d7c85a4c74e8b49fa02e8b3fd4d0c66).jpg)
“Wishing you a New Year filled with fewer responsive emails and more Netflix binging sessions.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcFlYeHF1aWdtN1Nzb2Z6Rk9GaFhmbGwzNUxyOFhWTW9HOXo1NXlDdW5lcXZlOGFLaEdwcWpZV3UvVTVaWFRNTjVacklXajFpaFFLTUtqdFplRGdGS1RSZTFOZ0N3eEF3ZzZ6eGNYN05Wd01Gcml5RWZia0pBK2w1VmpHSS9FNVRL/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(eaa891844bc3079bc98174bf9d33398f).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To stop pretending that I actually enjoy working out and eating salads.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxuV3FSNTQrVzdsNWJnc292WmRwRmxUQUp5MXg3ZmFNYVpEUmRmR1N0YStXM29nRDR4WnJ3VVF4QUNxRUlMd2IwRGQ2bjhIR3Uvc3oyWjBWbWRzaWc3d1dIZW1LSWVXUFpIWnJKVk5tMXVqUnFmWEJKSmFnekUwWnVXYUJwWXhDbGxiTldOT2YyRzVpVXlmR0h5QVNBPQ%3D%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(01dfd271755759c67a350631dad77cb6).jpg)
“This year, instead of losing weight, I resolve to lose my car keys at least twice a day.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcDEwNnIydUhRWk9Wa0cwaEZCVWFQZkMzWjJWRkUvbFdpckp3RlhuazFqNFAyWGlaWGlFdG9QV2ZTMDFWdkxwU1FGUy9DbXRkVDMwTHZSVVFPRW1BMUk4aHE1Z1orM0x6NU9sMkN4Y3owK0xpUW84ZTJCSlBEU1FhM3lXQjFwQW9X/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(982667ce46df0fa8bc13b9305c2e8445).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To spend more time on social media criticizing other people’s resolutions.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY29jVUFpWkJ6ajFHUEtrQXZxYXFuWC9ZR0lmalplaEJmeVp0TmhYeVg4cG1TVEJ1SGJnN1U3R1R2VjJCeElIMUFHdDA5TmRXbnBEZ2tibzZ2Q1lPaFBvN3FwSmNSRDkvc2E5eGlvZVlpaUlkd1dhTmltVzlheVpxcmRNcUE0Q2lVUkhBLzFlUmpZbXMvQ21Zblk0amNZPQ%3D%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(035c2da5f52efbc85460c59ccf451f2b).jpg)
“May your New Year be as exciting as a Twitter thread arguing over pineapple on pizza.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcFozN0IvLzk2VTRGUzZjajVoRmd5Szd3YUFOQVpRMXJYNWdUZGg3TnBGRXJ1S3VsQjVsbnNWOEV0K1c3RHhKamhRcHZvWjFKZDdvSnlrMWNmVmRKT3B4K2NSbDdSckFkSEUyMHFCZ0pVZnMwPQ%3D%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(02f1e777ab4bbe0045cb1315bdcb779d).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To embrace my flaws and make them feel welcome in my life.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxuV3FSNTQrVzdsNWJnc292WmRwSG5NMEJIaG9JQ2hyMDZ6Ulp3Q2RyOGR2QWhpMCt3VDhGdWdiRnUrKzc3ajJFZ0pFeVZmRURGTmJYU2ZURnAzVVZhM0E2Q0h0dENoc0JSUEk4TlI3V2tnRjI5OVNEaDZQVDQ3b1RGZU9kOERYbFMyMVEwcEJSQjVEYzRSWXAvQnk1N0lXcWxwcFJFczJUNFZsT2NVU2k4/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(430eebe496bed7acc0a3d74cc85faa5c).jpg)
“This year, I will aim for less ‘self-improvement’ and more ‘self-indulgence’.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pSRCtEd08yMmpFVEhCZWlnYktPVkRVRGt1UC9jdDVNOWMzc2dka29CcFRNcHFWSmF4VjZiNjMrTTEwNHI5Mm5HbXo1L2xyN3BJaTdpY2JEQzFMQnFlOFFkbkFkT1FVZUVSSitDblFwTk5TUGpQbkQvUnMxRVMvNFNnUXJkNWVsWlg4bUl3RVEzbENjSWJIczNzMW1nPQ%3D%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(133e65e7bcb053a3ed4fa270aceac54f).jpg)
“New Year’s resolution: To make more realistic resolutions that I know I won’t keep.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUitHZG83bDBsZWNaSDRXY05Kc0IwWEE2d21QL1dONWE2VmhKZFhvNjE1STI3emxoa1g4VWVNdy8yb05QeHM2UTJQaEFHUk9WL2UrMHZENUc2V2xWWGZObmJEcjJoYnZqUzIzUnUxREs3T2VOSCtQd0xrZmdZSVlCbDNSaEwxekVWbUpUcDM1ZC9qSzdoUGlUNVBGTGgwPQ%3D%3D/HAPPY+NEW+YEAR+SARCASTIC+QUOTES/(dec6ac5665cddd6ec93d3ccb1b6a2527).jpg)
“Cheers to another year of pretending to be productive while actually watching cat videos online.”