![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZXEranBIeGhuNHR2RXdKTFgzTGRveUJVb1IxTG4xQk1wZy9DZVIrdVRKaUJtMEN5anBsOForR1RmMnB6aHpWMkRiOUJuOHZjKzJxdWppemRIOHlsMkVqVzBTcGpxY21wNlhWYTBnSUdYVHM4R2o2d21KTEhLbDhCaXFQNDl6cVJRTWZzQ0NlbVZHLzhlWGZhK1dYVjFEeG9HWU5mUXQ2d21jdGc2dHNteTFSRHp6a2wyc2puSjVLa1JEbVZxcFc2eVRGbUhYN2FGQzRqUzAzZGdKWjUwdz0%3D/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(17ce6c7744dce5017de51824801f83e6).jpg)
“I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death, but I can’t make your crush like you back. Sorry, kids.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMGtkOHVOMHRVMWl3NytLWkFMblRRQ3FOMUxrbTBsVCtLTnhna2FodVlVelVMelhUUVE0cHZSZVNEUTVWeWU5RUJRQ29xdGhaZVd1T3ZXUWRCbG9JV0FGT1hQRDZQWlpRQXlabE1hNVBCT04rOFl0TDcrSVdZd1AydUxjYUJZMVcvRFdVZUtpQWZoTE5OSVE4WlZMRGxTRUdSUGRkQ2gxa0dqd2FrRWN1WWdm/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(74e8d7750a83baf208707a217ba5cf26).jpg)
“I sneaked into Gryffindor common room last night. Password was too easy to guess: ‘I am not a slimy git.'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvME15eEhjVnp6UXFzWU9KWVlyVStXdkttelR1eWEwTjVlVHBiU1c2WitHeTU1dExkUHl1VTVwK1Q5a3BEMjNPM0JhSTdHNGQvUCtYTU9kYm9nbVk1bjBCdDYzZG40NXRDNU41RldtTmNNUzY1VXNwazlDNnZxVUFsdWxWZHRhUGo4PQ%3D%3D/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(9ce795ef3ff4dbed0f26a44fab3a5f41).jpg)
“I’m the potions master, but even I couldn’t brew a solution to your face.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOW1Bc2VncFVVZVhCMHV2QklvOGlDZS84MXpxK1hMNitvV3BTYUpTMG1PelFUUTRoY1Q4R1ZORS9JNll0aUNCdkM1VGUxcjZiMExuS052RmMrZlZJOUExTk5Ib2piM21ZVFlnODB2LzhHOTNoWWt3dDY0eUhYclpwVldRVzJaWklyRE9JcEtvSWVWdkNpZWtmSmdHS3NrQkpxdGo1dXUxMjhrY21sdFBQMFB4R2tMV3FnWjZQVVdYR1hsTVRJUmdydz09/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(15c60f36bae09f607216c05ce3d44c93).jpg)
“No, Mr. Potter, I’m not trying to kill you. I’m just trying to wake you up for my class. The difference is subtle.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMK0R1Y3F2amo3bisrTUtxY2hWY1lHWHErbFlrdkY2SDRNdHE1KzE4NzR0U09BNXJJcUxzZGNEUXRzZnp4Y0JWZDZGS0hvRGsrbDFYZndpcGRkdkxOZGliUFlRZzRuUE1Qd1lOWE9PVGdlU1ZxTE9aVWRSdHNEQ1RQUmc3aGVhb3dkd2wxY1dLbTV0dklWcjhBZkM4empIczgrUWlQdEdPckE2a1l0MHFMYmEx/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a3c1155cd0d85c6a6dfc85269de74abf).jpg)
“I have a black belt in sarcasm. Unfortunately, it’s not a real belt, just a metaphorical one.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOHlhcmNQazlIaFB4bTZ2ekY1M2d5VDlRUjlnVWdudGtkSmNmYlJxaWNqaE9RdVNHMU5vN0tBU3M1WVhLMHFPKzA5d1Z4YTl0WkhpRVNhUjFxV1pmcFpxQ1pTWURsbVlGc2pMV3ZKeGhIMVdtdzdzWXNIczB6QjhrYjcxUjBsRUVySEpJaENQK1BQN2s3dmI1dksycjE4NEJKR1IrdXpDWm5zVnZWZVc2dU9EVTZpNzNwbzV1QWVMamJaekljQytjUT09/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f8f5f9d919de387d19eb148787d21b51).jpg)
“If a mandrake could scream, I’m pretty sure it would be more musical than your singing voice, Mr. Longbottom.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeURrQzhYc0lMbUx2STFWVmFINThkY0Z0OXZqbEs3eWpuemVpcXhsVGZnTURBM1M4bitubXMyQXduR1F1RjFCc0xySlQxdkhna1pYUkI1ZWNWdUd6ZkljWkw4OWM3ckFKbmhjLzgvZGZuaGxOdk5WNk5UNlhETFVWcWVNTWJwRGlOaDFQRXh6ekpQN3Fac2gyTHVFN1RWazZleFAvd2dLUkl6d1JRZkdiTTZO/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(39a245688e511ae11041d51dd0be8ec4).jpg)
“Why don’t you go on a diet, Mr. Weasley? Maybe then you won’t be such a large target for insults.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOXI4ZnhoNnF3NlFValFpYk1Qak5obk9nZ2dPbGV2c0Z3Q3NnamxJRmd1SmIydlJESVVYZWJlUEJ1QTNaanFRdnJhdUN4eHRjeGRVL0pMd2poUHpMR1NTN1A5VUpiVk1iR2tYT2xPM0IxTGk4NHpCa0dBRHZLZUNud3crV2doWGh3SGxxN2Y2RWJVMnBZNDdqZ29zMGswajNFOUEwbGg4b1JwTEp1VWY5VmkvY0RQcTA0RUI2YVJHdHZMMTFmSk1BZz09/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b649fbdccd27c8db9a7b42b63a121bda).jpg)
“It looks like your progress in class is directly proportional to the number of brain cells you lose, Mr. Finnigan.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeDlkWEU3eVZzNGM2WU1xd0NMM3piUjh0WnRNM21xZEpQdlJ6cDV0T0I5OHU2OXhzdzFVbjhYSzI0SnVaYVBuUWRyVmlYdnZrbStWRVNtTVB4OEM2QlJwbWRxNSt3ODlwUkxzSkV1TGl3TGd3SnFjR2N6c3RSWXlIRHRYcm5wcERrL0h4aGRXUHZsb3hPam41MkVYQ1IvVHJ4aWkwM05PaEQrcUZTSUNoNnpiTEx3dzM4ckhlM1NmcTE1eE5DVzJoVFVoZENId1l0VHA4ZFo3VldSWjIxOD0%3D/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(9c0970ea3da6acba3bba9626502cc85e).jpg)
“I told Harry not to set foot in my office again without knocking. I wonder if he knows that ‘knock, knock’ jokes don’t count.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNGFpSkRyOStxc2dvK1c3MGNCVzN5RXFCQURrSzVkVFRHaUkvWVl1dDBHYkFlbXlPRWFueC9tY29lYkJYR3pnTDgxUmRncDZEMjBPbVVqTXd3WTNiVG5ITzlTY2V0allXWldVa0h0b1I4YU1qUUREZy9tbXhQRkxpL1dPZWk5V2dEMnd4elRJbU9OYmltYndQTzRWT2djPQ%3D%3D/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c2ba612e7f6dfb0fbb206f4a9b33216b).jpg)
“I once had a dream where I had hair like Professor Snape. It was truly a nightmare.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMmxNRjkrdDlDaVFyQmxmSHdqeTBYdDd5WFdPRDVWSnZrWGpTRmVDTTh3MHBCZlovR0ZBcVdjeDNGK0UzYTBlek9QL2s0NzV1Rko4MnRKeTQrRTREK3gvSGVQTklUK3RKS1hUck5CWHVoQ0IrYk5hQXFVQzFmRm5XM3AvV2pSREdnPT0%3D/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(4866f80edb7c0cc45f30dccf3bd24db5).jpg)
“If you were any less intelligent, you’d have to be watered twice a week.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMN3NjUmJHbUNsNjUvV2J6SCtPNTVrcU1qVGVuOXBFMjRyRlFkekMvazBiUEJ4dUpyRlRITHZoOFRtVFdTMzlyTitNMERFQitsZFc2YTMxd3M5SnR6UVJXNDI4bWhlYVJiK1dCcDVDSDgxVHQ4Q1FIMG5EaDU1Nk9GMGFFR2Zyd3RmOXk1Q1NoMC9Sb0ZCWUpHQzk2QjZPWXp3b2k4NXRBM2g1Ly84LzdQclMxdk13MFgyZmFEZmRRYmg0Ym5QN3dvaFZDWjVpS0RuUjBTN3lONzFONWlTejhEb3NwOXMrWkZuOU5XZHczMUNsMDZTNTM2bGloR25JLzFGUmZMeXNMZ3c9PQ%3D%3D/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(eda79d00af6f7b2bcec88efd53cab291).jpg)
“You know, I could never figure out why people say ‘expecto patronum,’ when they can just say ‘flee, Dementors, flee!'” HAPPY QUOTES ABOUT LIFE HINDI
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HUWVQWTZQTyt4THE0V0VHSUtuTGIyK2FSaXNBMXMyL1o4T0piYWZid0FHcWMxMkZzSUVwVFhmQnlqZjAxWVA1VjFteTMzYXZWaUt0Q3ZQTitNdUgrZzdpRlVsMUgraXVzM1ZjS0djVi8vRGd4aHVVcVNKcm1EbEV3ZUJORXVUaW9vPQ%3D%3D/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(9e3b9a9dceeed607cd09a35594cb9603).jpg)
“I don’t play favorites in this class, but some students just make it so difficult not to.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HU2wxa2FPSng3UHBWdFd4bTRmSzU1bDUrVDZXcDYvaEhIcjI3Vk1SeVk4RlMzcHZsaVZKRk9WckVtRXBGLy9mVGhVeTFvejA5Zlc0Ni9CS2J3MHpFL1I3cXcxWm5sSHNpeXN0V0RURFVudUtWYTZWSjlqbzl2bGVLWGpma2V3M0prPQ%3D%3D/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0f3e0f44637bd1541e09fe23fa2090e2).jpg)
“I don’t have a hobby, unless you count being a perpetual disappointment to your parents.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMdzJCOWZzTGR0ZjJPUmIyaEdjNmE2VGkxcFliQ0MxVGlTbUZwemhoVDVjckdoNVMwUEtMOVF2Q0h6bmRGN3hmODlvL2JaYU1EbTk1RmgvaFlJSnMwck9GcFhSRlczanZCTlhCN0h0bzZrcGJkTklVVnhUUzVPdXpkckRMOUVJRUpvUjRUZnNYdC8rTllpVUtWMVJnT1pFR21TcnZ3MjNpUThmaGgrQXpwdlBWUkdVbVJiZjhieDN6alZxYUpWOW1qMEt0VTg4RnJxeUxoSlprK1pNKzZ6WkhYcjRoVWFrT3I3ZEFYQzVIcE1SQg%3D%3D/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(10b650c306d5e3f55df2a8c0eb6929b4).jpg)
“Why are you so worried about cheating in my class, Longbottom? It’s not like you’ll find the answers to bravery at the bottom of a cauldron.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMODQyVkpUUGZaTnprUmVteHdNMjJDdGh5eC9iQmwzTlpxQUk0RmlSbnd6OUVqcTZHYVJvSVNqSmFxK1B2RFFFc3ZhSkFjQlFDYnVyb09rbk5DT1BzQlZJSjdXYnRtWWxZZkNpTVpCS2FCbUdqNWNXYW5oNEJ0NEZSbEZMdi9zUmlTaDlxelFrNzV0eDkyeEs4SVgyNThyWEtzN0poQ3Y3ekdpbDh2L0pLWEV3Mi9TOU9HUURmV2ZGMUJpS0hnREVjdz09/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(665d95b341ecf5187f6cf2125b0044c0).jpg)
“They say the sorting hat takes your preferences into consideration. Well, it certainly couldn’t care less about mine.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HUlZmeFA1bWxsZWVvOHdoMHZXZEZBLzBlNWpwclpKdzI5cVRKOEx5enBPK0RkWXZBWm44ZFUvSFBrZHR0STZxVTVZQTIwbWhTYU5DVnQrcFI2WDZFNWdadlFDeERVVlg1WXA4Q2ZxcEpDNlJFVGlDNkwvM0dRQ3o2MVdoUDlrU1hEd2drUUtJL1l3QTg3UWFLWjFXRlpYRDBLaHJXNGJnRWNrV1BzQWx2SG5vQT09/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6435b179ba9510df8e7346948696af37).jpg)
“I don’t need polyjuice potion to transform into your worst nightmare. I can do it with just a few carefully selected words.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvM3ZnTWxZTGJRLzI3VEFkb29JNVc2N1JOYXVIaThsUmdFaHhFbGhHTFFSdGJVaVNCazFFN0JJejZTVi9aMVVwclgySEFadEMxVW1TMTQrVk1XdTR2dXlwRTYzUlhNWmlCczg0WmtjRGR3WWt2a0daOEs4cEo5cGNiTkxrMlJxQytySU9Od3VZTlg3a296MkRjaXVWVjhMOG93bHB3enJmTVNKcXl5UTBnQWkxdz09/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e8afe483743739571f9d656e6bcea207).jpg)
“I’m like a basilisk, silently judging your every move. Except without the petrification powers, unfortunately.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMejMrYmdpd0tKUkhoOFI1bEZuRlYxdHVSdXBmYkowS0VhN3krOFBOaFozOU91YWpWK3NCUGluZVBtMFovcWRjMkNzSlNNU0l0NGp1WE1pY3hxVWs5QWFTamdDaWxielBhQnh2WTh5dzRXd1RQWmI5Zi9vT0tOUWVTVnVJcU05UWJMMnAxSnRDZ3FHNmhKVDgwSm8vWjcrR0UyZUVtSVJCYXVDUVN3V1RoN2FQZm9pUFpkSFNvRXhnem5PcndzVlBXQT09/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(312ed4697776496935829887a31803fc).jpg)
“I’ve had dreams about flying on a broomstick. But, you know, I also have dreams about not being surrounded by dunderheads.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNDJaTkhUYnpZUythZS9sSm5teEtwZnlnTWloWVBvdisrVS9VYWVWRlZrSkttQ0FKNWVWSUt1N0RWNG00OVVka0RtYkxCaUtHY2VxMk5DQm92YXFCbnJzQUFQUStjVGxhOUo0T212S1FKeVZjeHgwV1hnZys4WGg1cUwrYWJucllpcWUvZTlzNktCdVBTelU0MFEzUks1c0FGR3Q4TEhUdUVEcWd3SlQyRysrWnZqcjBncWd4MFBSNVpLV3ArTW9rdz09/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d44bd5b8090147f80a4fabe8c0b0c370).jpg)
“I always keep a supply of potion ingredients in my pockets. You never know when you might need to turn someone into a toad.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMM2hJcm5aZkRMbkFSU0lKNlk5ek9tSWNnRmNNOHp6WUY3MzFIemR4YVhzTHlsaXdOZVFUOVpaNjBvUCtBbmRFTjQwZEs2RTU5d0FZN2xmZHZNVXo0UGVqZlY4ZnVhM3kxbUtZSEI0OW5sMHVTUVdYQ2t2STZDOUpYM1h2NU14V0FmUjZiNjV0VW1qeHEzbjdXV0NheVRrNUxOSGFrY3hTT0lpaGlWSlh2aGJKNU4zclhlcnplTVIvN1R0bHJZcnp2UT09/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(8dac8126a078ab35cf245c3732c285d6).jpg)
“If I had a Galleon for every time a student asked me for extra credit, I’d be able to afford a one-way ticket to Azkaban.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HUjJsLzZqenhPWHJCQlBxZDJqcTc3N0puSms1MVJtN09yRzMzTk40MW1sRmYvZ0dxYzRxM1ZOd3JRY2NVcThZSFZGRUZadlhOMTNoOUtmckF6akJtbzVrQzhNc2pueUM0Y0YrQmJHN3puZWRoWUhZbEwzZTFWbDcxNzFCZ1RkSVQwRUNNb0c0Szk0MHdqOFJQbjdQc292/SNAPE+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b5ff7b871d3b6800b60f7d282b0188f9).jpg)
“I don’t need Felix Felicis to predict that your next move will be to fail the upcoming exam.”