![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYzFHVlRZcHR5ekUveDlHeDlVT3J3eGRtZXhKaHFPb3JBMFdLQ29tVUUzejB0NGZXV2hhaG0xZW9jRnVuTmo4WTlKb1N5MDl5SGxzZVZvRWI3RWRvOG1IMDByMUNqWFRRVUxGa2JnOHBkdTdrYzh3L1hFV1o1dHNnTktVNmN6UDVSQkNwQUZyN2JXeitrNk1YZENjNDNzPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(497a09a2d21503202d456032795f8068).jpg)
“My doctor told me I should avoid any unnecessary stress, so now I avoid my in-laws.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUtsOXc3THF5Q0E3aWRDNTFnQ0F0NEQzSGNoRDhsL3hUUTJqUUU1MU1GSDRxWVhwczRDUVhuSTgvWjh1S2RFTmF3PT0%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(1ba9c25b8b6b703f57b7401b134827dc).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteDJhemJud1hsa1JjY0tuUW56QkR1UEhyL2ZUTkcwSXFZRm96N2Q3NVI4dFN5NTJ2UnVoTkFtTXdJYUFvSjhoeGs9/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(a1f410e42ab536d1d3ddd82e22bd6164).jpg)
“I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVi9venFDb1JJQTNtRW9oREFrVDRaZXlTVGRhSWIxUGVUT3FDcUR2Tkg1bllxNEpLR0hQOGZ5cDlMN2N4WWs3QnZsSDQvelVuQTltQzAvb3dsTU5SNXd6Zi93VXNUeGNIaUMxVVlwdS9UTWY2WUVRS05vSnU2RWtHeVNBemhXN1BDRUMvdUVTbkQ2QTFiR29WYi83N2hMcWZnWUhwVkRlaTV2VzhMQ28yUXZMTlBROTVJWk4wSWtrTUJPcXYrNGFvNnlCc2pTNENwZU4vRFBja3R6RDJ2T3p6TytRS0VWcEFWdnk5ZVhFeXF1UFE9PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(06ef8cc64705fa817aebdede427be4d5).jpg)
“I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make it on Tuesdays.'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkphZWxiSUVyWlpBOUVTUSswejl4bTBneERmbWdsSEN2MDBRZ0JIZGIySWJFRzdPUGFYOW5UNkw5SW1oV2p5Y012N1dFb2NTY1dQVnJjUkJNZStnWkNTd01ieGxZSDRCTkNwMWVZdWF4NnZRPT0%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(5163791d864cc3f46cd55d3890d0fbc1).jpg)
“I’m on a whiskey diet – I’ve lost three days already.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjQxN2pUVmhYM044N2Q4WEp1TG5CN01scTUrcXFTUklFUGVyWFVpclhWUVZPd2hnS2Z1MVhaS1RCT0FaZXliZlFhSzNRZzI4NVF6bHZ5NlNTMTdoK0M4aHhwcjRNWno2K1FPR1M2aEFkTVliVmtqSnRhQWNVSWgzTzZtRU9YS1lhSmYrREZyYkovbDhKcEplZ3RrdjFneFJwTDkxOVg0ZDdFY1k0bnFWUUlx/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(6f764ed347f78083346741f70a03446b).jpg)
“I finally realized that my dog understands everything I say. Well, at least he gives me confused looks.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMUnBWUW45REtnZi9pRmN1ajRaenRUVFpGalVUa0lEQmZvdXEvTlA5SEdFRmR6Z3ptcnhESHNUR1BPRU9BWUd6T1E9/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(be892ef3f901dd92796a571ee414d43f).jpg)
“I tried to catch some fog the other day. I mist.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteE5ScjNva3dTWVE4ZHVXVWorN3RTQ3ZuUVl2ZUdyTTZaWmRKeUdyT1ExN0FLazBIUThQNEk0QkVLdDR1ZVJ4Mk1RYzJFdGpNYWJXNEdCcENUb2pFSWk%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(141793095aabe700dba211f76895fad1).jpg)
“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAveXA2eUJlWGoxMVRuV2w4cWpva3Y1cGhKYTkzd3BXL3g1TTVCcG04U0VLNlVVa01vaUthNGNjZ1A5SjZNbXR5UFBUVlo1dEltNnQwdGJUd2kvNTVIVUg3S0huVUdOTEdtMzNoU0RCSzluR2FRPT0%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(e5794edf280bcf872ebd0143af2dd27e).jpg)
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZnNTNDVhUFQ3T1hUYkFQZUR0NHo3czl4aklFUnRETkF1MHhaa1BxWlIxTTlITDFVYlIvVWFRWmN2SWYvclJEVkY5QW1sMW12aGFuRnNpVU5vaitweFhxVnhOeGpFSEEwaWU3dW1LcXNSWFRRN0h0UmRTVVN4KzhiZGhlcXBZbDFpTXU0MWFRaDJ5MVpMY3pnTW5TYnR0/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(b7048827748b710d7857ab4a51473cb3).jpg)
“I’ve started investing in stocks. Beef, chicken, and vegetable – they’re all delicious.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsNml6NVdVSW9nSWV1RFViYzVzczJmM3kxN0lkdXNweWMwZkVqUHhpbG5SWHFUT0gwNSthZmhHQ0hRZzdCdTRCdmttQkhJeHdDTUNMNmhLZUx4ZTVXR0VkKzA0K0ZNU2lYbFROa0oxZDBmNHBRPT0%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(0a8d901098901f14d4be022fa56468e5).jpg)
“I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWEJEWDRDQTQzanY5ZGdIK1ByN2NqdkR5RGQ3Q0RqelM5cmNGRFdkRWZVQjA2UW1mbWxocjFXcHhQUmkzQy9oTXpPcUZQV2NCcGtaOWNLVWlxeExVbXY5S2drQStmUlZnTENyaEc1WE5LMjY%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(b9bd74ee05ef34629aee5bd14667bbe3).jpg)
“Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVjlRSi9tU2VnYVQwaGNDT1hmbDcrZEc1WGVZVFhrZThSb3lzNHdaTU8vT2lpWjJtcCtQcXM2RGp2ek1rVTVidUhwaTZTZ3N5WkdVM2ZzWHZCRUxabEJpY3pwcGlVenNpVVhLdHU4VzlxbDcwdmJiWEg4dHhxZGVMdUJoZlh6NU5kaGF1dGZaMVE5alkyNzNjRmZSa1lRRjJLWmZXb1VNZFNsZHdzWmRjQ1lPaGxTOTZXMStVYW5UMHU0clhTQW54eEtoZjlRV1UxcnZRN2xwQTQ2WXh4WXRHZjlCMTVEVkdXZmU2V3Q2Zk4rL251N29LZVNzWS9IWXZOdnJBeTNoMUdudlA1MjJiTU05eXFiV00zTVI1ZEU9/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(60ffe13a8113787e73dad9ce7d21423f).jpg)
“I walked into a restaurant and asked the waiter, ‘Is the spaghetti fresh?’ The waiter replied, ‘Yes, we cook it up fresh every morning, then it sits in a container all day.'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVlhqSmxFdjN1Uldpd0NUNW9ETVFQY3VoNkZzMU43Y05MWll6MDRHZjBQV0pYQzRLbDY4eXBEc1czMTFTQkhuRUVLVGpBMDQ4NzdJWmdSd2VHaDdrck9HN0paZUdGSUlLdWV5MWhOK3pUVHRIRUtlU1VOTlN1b1NSYUZCcGhEc0R0anhoVGVaTW4vSWtSVWFKZ01XUGoxNWRnTmdoaDczNzBnUWd2QWlldW9vdz09/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(5bd9cb62edf85565a31b956c998b3787).jpg)
“I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you…'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2alpoa1pKMGxTY21GcUJpZGcwUDFiQ1FrU0F4SUJKT2JUbTBBN2xyQW9NSUxUNjhLWjJSYy9RUGRCcXlReVRNbjBvcnplby9uQmxhSldNTUd1OE1TNDg%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(e0f0a65f6105c5a5174c4d62085777a4).jpg)
“I don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUtsOXc3THF5Q0E3aWRDNTFnQ0F0NEQzSGNoRDhsL3hUUTJqUUU1MU1GSDRGZTZvN1NuU3M2akc0cnNtQ01IL203VU93VVpNVGpxQ09oVGlVczc0T005aTYrSERkVEh5eHlWNldtcGNzVitr/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(ca25e5452f37f1c22b7084bb739b754f).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” THANK YOU QUOTES FOR WORK FRIENDS
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAvemR4STlHd1ROWFhHb1ExNmlDcDdnNnRSTTN6WlVRYy9iUjQ0SEdqMzBLMmxIN21LNFE0T2kvVmZmeFJWWUxPWTNKejlUTVJqVFROQmlTUk5OWkgyTnQzdU1BbEltTlZnem1hL1g1UlJpNkNBPT0%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(e04d40ca85122150f51ac9852bb0a088).jpg)
“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZTAwdWhNbFYrZEFqWE1IYlRvd21ZMUVDMXM5bnNnRWYxSUtOazYxdE92VmFJUEl0WklKWnFYejNBN1NJZmVDK0h0aGtWR3JvQzBuN0VRV1RkcDVidnpFRzlaeEk0eUtKY0dhdlRGdkljQ3pnPT0%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(758ba0eb70b030c24f28c6ef20f2f9bb).jpg)
“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteE5ScjNva3dTWVE4ZHVXVWorN3RTQ3ZuUVl2ZUdyTTZaWmRKeUdyT1ExN0FLazBIUThQNEk0QkVLdDR1ZVJ4Mk1RYzJFdGpNYWJXNEdCcENUb2pFSWk%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(141793095aabe700dba211f76895fad1).jpg)
“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkphZWxiSUVyWlpBOUVTUSswejl4bTBneERmbWdsSEN2MDBRZ0JIZGIySWJFRzdPUGFYOW5UNkw5SW1oV2p5Y012N1dFb2NTY1dQVnJjUkJNZStnWkNTd01ieGxZSDRCTkNwMWVZdWF4NnZRPT0%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(5163791d864cc3f46cd55d3890d0fbc1).jpg)
“I’m on a whiskey diet – I’ve lost three days already.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXN0cHFIUk1KWCtGVk5oa2VxNG9vcUNxZW5DK3h2NXNLTlFWYkdUK1NBdXVlWUVuc0tvNmpxbXJ5VzFZOFBrNStESWRXM2NwNEhXa09rMHhDckhrTTdpUEdTSkRjQm8zRVRMSHd2ck1WMmNMYkhpc1dTbGpjU1pVUkpQS09NQy9BPT0%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(00134d5d481f1fa5654d655ebd701a94).jpg)
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAveXA2eUJlWGoxMVRuV2w4cWpva3Y1cGhKYTkzd3BXL3g1TTVCcG04U0VLNlVVa01vaUthNGNjZ1A5SjZNbXR5UFBUVlo1dEltNnQwdGJUd2kvNTVIVUg3S0huVUdOTEdtMzNoU0RCSzluR2FRPT0%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(e5794edf280bcf872ebd0143af2dd27e).jpg)
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMUnBWUW45REtnZi9pRmN1ajRaenRUVFpGalVUa0lEQmZvdXEvTlA5SEdFRmR6Z3ptcnhESHNUR1BPRU9BWUd6T1E9/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(be892ef3f901dd92796a571ee414d43f).jpg)
“I tried to catch some fog the other day. I mist.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVjlRSi9tU2VnYVQwaGNDT1hmbDcrZEc1WGVZVFhrZThSb3lzNHdaTU8vT2lpWjJtcCtQcXM2RGp2ek1rVTVidUhwaTZTZ3N5WkdVM2ZzWHZCRUxabEJpY3pwcGlVenNpVVhLdHU4VzlxbDcwdmJiWEg4dHhxZGVMdUJoZlh6NU5kaGF1dGZaMVE5alkyNzNjRmZSa1lRRjJLWmZXb1VNZFNsZHdzWmRjQ1lPaGxTOTZXMStVYW5UMHU0clhTQW54eEtoZjlRV1UxcnZRN2xwQTQ2WXh4WXRHZjlCMTVEVkdXZmU2V3Q2Zk4rL251N29LZVNzWS9IWXZOdnJBeTNoMUdudlA1MjJiTU05eXFiV00zTVI1ZEU9/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(60ffe13a8113787e73dad9ce7d21423f).jpg)
“I walked into a restaurant and asked the waiter, ‘Is the spaghetti fresh?’ The waiter replied, ‘Yes, we cook it up fresh every morning, then it sits in a container all day.'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVlhqSmxFdjN1Uldpd0NUNW9ETVFQY3VoNkZzMU43Y05MWll6MDRHZjBQV0pYQzRLbDY4eXBEc1czMTFTQkhuRUVLVGpBMDQ4NzdJWmdSd2VHaDdrck9HN0paZUdGSUlLdWV5MWhOK3pUVHRIRUtlU1VOTlN1b1NSYUZCcGhEc0R0anhoVGVaTW4vSWtSVWFKZ01XUGoxNWRnTmdoaDczNzBnUWd2QWlldW9vdz09/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(5bd9cb62edf85565a31b956c998b3787).jpg)
“I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you…'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2alpoa1pKMGxTY21GcUJpZGcwUDFiQ3UyYmgzWDNOV3k1YWpGSGU0WEwvSVN4dFVHdDdGaURZVHNKZXdORDAxdDJ2di9PcEE5enlVK2k5d201eHVRdnA%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(b31355fe965faa6d36e96bb9e5592110).jpg)
“I don’t trust atoms anymore. They make up everything!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsNml6NVdVSW9nSWV1RFViYzVzczJmM3kxN0lkdXNweWMwZkVqUHhpbG5SWHFUT0gwNSthZmhHQ0hRZzdCdTRCdmttQkhJeHdDTUNMNmhLZUx4ZTVXR0VkKzA0K0ZNU2lYbFROa0oxZDBmNHBRPT0%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(0a8d901098901f14d4be022fa56468e5).jpg)
“I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWEJEWDRDQTQzanY5ZGdIK1ByN2NqdkR5RGQ3Q0RqelM5cmNGRFdkRWZVQjA2UW1mbWxocjFXcHhQUmkzQy9oTXpPcUZQV2NCcGtaOWNLVWlxeExVbXY5S2drQStmUlZnTENyaEc1WE5LMjY%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(b9bd74ee05ef34629aee5bd14667bbe3).jpg)
“Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteDJhemJud1hsa1JjY0tuUW56QkR1UEhyL2ZUTkcwSXFZRm96N2Q3NVI4dFN5NTJ2UnVoTkFtTXdJYUFvSjhoeGs9/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(a1f410e42ab536d1d3ddd82e22bd6164).jpg)
“I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXRDTDA5OEdZTnJTaU4xbk9sMkFGUElBcnFtQ3VjeHhlWngzd2paT251aGE4blgzSjRJbWRGQWlMZEJLbzJuRElCd3Z3ZytncWNlWm55OVNreVRxOWFUclM3cTlzU3o0ZTRKa212aTRTYko4Y1FDUTludFZRNFhFeFl0NjhkcVRHdUpJdEdZWVVvSWFEOGFOcUo0SDBrPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+BONES+QUOTES/(db86cf71941abbea3cd194044b766a33).jpg)
“My doctor told me I should avoid any unnecessary stress, so now I avoid my in-laws.”