![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVmVqWldaTGVKdWxFellhYzl2ZllwdG82Tmw2WVpZQjFpZ1ArVW5FNUlYVGxXaFlucDYvZDZGU1RIL25vUjJZS2ZSSHZxSjdPWGNvRTBlWEpmeVFuY1U9/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(708efb54fc5f00e401eb9ee9c6627a65).jpg)
“I sleep in a racing car, do you?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZnhnUHNENDZwblBTeEF4Mk95QjJtZEZPbmtET1JWQVFoRTNMeEl0R2NnU004d2FHZDdEV3ZiREtEVlZ0aDc1WUZsZ3dxRHZVa3cxYll1TDJ5cWRyUzZjSlM4QUp0eHVLWTRlRlM2VG9mK0NnPT0%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(ef92ed00a40ddce66c530b3aac06bec3).jpg)
“I’m like a goddamn mummy. I’m always wrapped up in my own shit.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUl6YmJBNU8xem5vY29vbHRMOFRTWTZWS0ZvOFh2M3dDYm9rNnBic2hrTVJNcjcwTWdDUFZxUjRla2poc3RrRUNVQ3p5WmxWb2xTYWZMejFHSFhSQURTemU4bWV1NHdNUWdRMXhIWkRCL2tkM1FUaUhRTUdJakgvZzdiMUltODR3PT0%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(bea22b94a4702e9511dec71668667df2).jpg)
“When life gives you lemons, just say ‘fuck the lemons’ and bail.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVlKYmRhbEFvaDNaY1BZY0N2RmdybHV2K1RnU3hOQzFGTXFxcHg3VUxLZlZiS3dMM25FTHlucEZnZzh3REkwWWdyd3ZNRkhheU9yV1F6Z01mZDlGUkxkWW5JK1ZpSFJ4aTFZQVRKSFFiVWRiT1lSYk8vVXBqMFdNTkgxS1ZEbUtRTk9FM0JXME56MDZKcjArTWg1a1hBPQ%3D%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(9cad33730d12f008ac334e7c8faecf74).jpg)
“I once saw a homeless man arm wrestle a pigeon for a slice of pizza. It was intense.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY3NWMXU0dDVaMGgycDJsY3lhUWxGU29zRE1OV3VLYU0vLzFTR2UyZEt4Y1pkMUQydXQ4aGF0dU5aOU5wd0ZwdHBXRHc2SzA4eGR4MjZ2enBYL09vMXVQRXdDWlZobDc5b3BvSHAxSkwzUk9WazdSRS9HZk9MYzEyR0xPVlBXQVk4K01QRVZOVWhNOHdtQzBuMTNzQWF3PQ%3D%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(15af476974bef4298d5737108eb32892).jpg)
“I have the sex appeal of a decomposing whale carcass. And I’m okay with that.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVmdoN2d0NDV1bVhjdnpMOGhod0M4UW5DeXRlN2tRbGJNbHhwV1dOYnJPaUg0UGNFUHZNL3RLSUhtZUpjdGV0N0FYNGFZT3FmNFNtUnFiOVRVOGRxVGN0aXFTTHdVOVRBNkk5VU15K0ZOYW1nZW5sVDJUT1ViRjhpNkgxdG5jL2xxdVkyT2g3SU1UbWRPWTkvQkZqbnF0akpFWWY0UFplWUI3cmZkbkdTMXBz/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(991463228fc0c058d7620e4569067194).jpg)
“If I was a superhero, my power would be the ability to make awkward situations even more awkward.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUzhGQy9Va0l6WHUweWJack1GZjdweDZhOWNpUEtGcEx1N3lac3hLdEhXcDNkcEhHbW5qazZORUZocnZ0Nk1XRXlLb1NWNElKQVZRYnVUUjdQRFhpRVh2MER4cC9rb3IzczNjSjNEdFd5OENLQ3pwdmpZcU90aFlkUUV6amdwaDRHRDgrZHJwbzhmRmdXMnI0RG9vUitJPQ%3D%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(d901ae48ffe92810620bb6d1c76cf84e).jpg)
“I love walks on the beach, but only if I’m the one leaving footprints in the cement.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2anp1eFNDNGVTZkJ3ZGlYamdTM2syZEx0Vjl5WTJQWUNSY2RwSU4ySnJaTVl0bDZMSkVOU3d4YVA5SFJXRSsrWXhRYnFFUnVFNDNidSsyODRpQ3Qwa2hBMTA5SS9LUXBrWGhmQW8ydEF5djZ2RUJWUVdOdm9lSW5hVzhpQTAzVmxzPQ%3D%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(9e80a651ef1b1e0c4005c63b67eddabc).jpg)
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkphZWxiSUVyWlpBOUVTUSswejl4bXQ1eUg2SC9NdExDb3NMcVZoRE1WN1ZaMmlWQ1BNR1BiQm5aOXJ0TEdTWXdOWXlnQkRRMTRuNFJSc2hmKy9VdXU%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(96c71cadea9c7ee7d1c386a18f869a61).jpg)
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWU43dHAyU3Vva1JEWXZobnZxQVNYZVN4a3NhQ3lESS9CRVhtenkwNUVJZzBHRGFwZXNGb0kzR2s2TEJkcGVuWlNORzBsdnM0KzlZWkU4UWsrRWhnZjd4QmxLODFYbjVZOG13SUFBVkVFeEVCWEk1b2JJelo1REVwTjkvU3JDTlRUOW53T3ZoN3YvYnFtQ05iV3REY054OE0xYmxjV29iSTcyUlJFaVVlellOUzlPQWc1ZzVCaGlabkhjU3RDdXgrdz09/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(ab1d1001ff10db2f2c91de2c38b57fbe).jpg)
“If people say they just love the smell of freshly brewed coffee, then I’m pretty sure they’re just sniffing cocaine.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXN0cHFIUk1KWCtGVk5oa2VxNG9vcGluSkhKVDEyRjNiNDlEYisrdHY0NUtBQlgzNVYzcDNwcXdpVnk1Z1F4Y0pQQzE0bGd1Mm9VVHRwcjUzOFlPbWxZZ0xXVXhFMDU3YlB6eXl1eVpzVHdwWkxVeUUrTC9uTHNJMGozck4vQnZSU0dvWFFBRWxUUHlwRkZsSTNlTmlYZkJCekRObEZSekpkYnVVQithL1NJZlVxbjdkOVNQOXgvQkw1WXVlcnFRaFFDVklvSmNiRFAwY05XTXNFMjJRdz0%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(1a82743ad4655497f1a2b535d7862206).jpg)
“The best part about being a pessimist is that you’re constantly being pleasantly surprised.” BEST QUOTES ABOUT DISAPPOINTMENT
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZHJ6RktQT09jMmI3M1E2TE82RW9LbnBmTlM2dFVMOGVvYXpyRFdHWGR3V0UyalNrSGhoRlkwVTJzblh5bGROUXZ5QUxBdVkxeks1aTJyL1NVNW9TZVY4S0JMY0dVL3hzWXlCMTF1bWV5aFVCQ0pmd0FUY3dOOUhnZ3hOLzZmdTJZPQ%3D%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(0ed82cff70919e114350e22654f641fc).jpg)
“I’ve learned that the key to life is being a dumbass and pretending you’re not.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVmEwVzVEa2RQaldNc2JWZkdMYU55L3VPRDV0ZUlHTFhUMWJ3MGhZbDgyRzJJYUJKd09WSGFxdCt3U2VNTFZ0N1lkK3kreDNqR09oMlJiQjdFQTZCYUYvVWorYVRCWEVBY00vQTN0MEh2dlFKRFNCR1ZhbWJHaVlEYUY5SVNQWnErQUJoZ3BDWXNpYWpkUndzNi94WHdIelN1b1NBbm5XSU1nNFNEQURUZE8yc25JeS84UjVmaU1jWU5Ub1IwbHlVQT09/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(32c394bdc83e026b2c93dbc32245e9fa).jpg)
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2akRqay9xZGZpNERoeXRzSFJwQlJlVVBqUTEvMFdPK05NelVQSUdGU0ZoazNGRUFVTjloL29jRnNHL2kvbVdaMjIzTXFwTWFWTURldEVNNEVGREdVQmwzSkRIbTFaZTNKN2htQnRLMWtVV1h4R2wzZjdOZk1HVTNJMHhYWWZIWDQ0PQ%3D%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(8f0cc2cd3df3260efb1553c5a51765d1).jpg)
“I don’t mind being labeled as crazy. I just wish people wouldn’t try to diagnose me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjhINThUbmxNTk9ucDFQeUxsZm9uZ25SZ25zS1Mrd1FNRFlJU1gvV1JuYWxmc1dKYThmczJFTFFQL1lkdVR4SXVtYkRPd1JhK3FHb2lDN2J6UkIxNitmMEJSNTdCUDZ6Ly92WFpPdkYzNUIxa2Zub0Jkc3A4UDB3eVpGVHBWWG9FUktORlBYenBmRWhlS1l5eTFLaU1ZM2hhVmJtMlA3anZWcC8yVGZKQTBoc01wTWlpOVNWWUpaVFZzRCtQL1h2UT09/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(a67504df8a74ce82617429b881e7014d).jpg)
“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYVg3UU5ZZk5IdVpmS2NUejlqQ09nTHhZQmE2eFZTRTBVYW9Wc1E2U1ZneWFwcXF4RzlHeTFrRzlCbVp1Q0g0dm4yZy9qRkhrbVlXcTVZemhBU3B2c240Wlk3NkF5VmQwdFJwMDgyeHdUK3Y5V3ZZUzE4WkQzZVQxQngxYTF3RGtTZmVwWHZVdDhVak0vaVJjT1dOcHpjPQ%3D%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(9662f22de0b11086bf04d0ce6aab3679).jpg)
“You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkNWNXFST2JYUXY1WDRGalRmYVhLK0Zrbkd0VTMxZ3BFQkdad1ZBZUxwRVJFVXo4MnVuNTVkTG5QaURkaXJmU2hLOUdaa2dYR0oyUW0vZzhENFNXWXhPQXFBTk5vNFVIOThLdm5xZlB3NHZDY2xWVlF2MDJ0SWVsYS93SmxaRkpqWTFYTUlUM1VIWDl4YjNXWUp3TzE5YmkxcGxGUVRwV2NRVGtLb2NJYXJiZCtvd2dmdXI5S3QvYkVlc3FWTmJoR3VxejUwQmtKSFl0QjJ5SEJla2lCQT0%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(3ee6f02817f62127ba70369787ed1cab).jpg)
“You know you’re getting old when you bend down to tie your shoe and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0FlWjlFeUtrNG90TXJHeE9xaCtTby9TM3hobTdhM2tRSHZya0FHTndrVzhLZDlnaFUzTFNRVHBFTFlRT0pSOTFqY1EzYWxTUW1mQjZiVHliVWk4c3hhOHhTcXBwNzd2bzFZQ3h6NHpSNFkzTXRMY3dsaGJVVFd2bmJXaUFGeTRkcTRINHo4bjgyY2E4UUtWNE9rNHVlbVMwNElJVW9XMDNQS2tjNWpKNzl1NXRtTGpUd0V1QjNTeUVsUGsrUklXRkNnWU5FZCtqVkhsS2J0NnM0WFlPUFJIRFE3ZFV5d2w3c3JnNFlmR2ZhZzJpaFR6TlZpejVQSWtZYlVQUGNGNm5pcy9GMkxiN1VmRXI5WWRLMzVVWUgrWDFyWTlqK0lSSTRGOExVYlp1clgrTG9Zay91ekt5UjdGVkNxYzdMQjR3PT0%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(87a9de83f4b0448b38f6234cbf301b23).jpg)
“Some people say ‘If you can’t beat them, join them.’ I say ‘If you can’t beat them, beat them.’ Because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY3lpWERsMUxzbmZKdjc1eHRmVmxsZnEreFFjZ2t6L1grQkRZcW9iQng2R0h1YWdjYWVJUTdyUWJ6NFR1bUpHOGxnSTAyN0drODJ5SENDMk1NVDVWejFpUm1DZFJtWEd6OVQyRFpLSVlZNWJES1MrRS9xMTBYVG1MTHdDaEg1dmtzPQ%3D%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(21dee69d25f3eae24d2dc88fe54c812f).jpg)
“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0FlWjlFeUtrNG90TXJHeE9xaCtTcDdFaUJ1NlllRTBrNFl1LzRXNytpcFBGVVZSTzRMbUljOUw2RldiWllXeDNienR2WTZCTDdwcWRHOW1mUWNMNUl3VjFhRnExdHpDeHBBZTVJVEl3S25kVEcwSHJ0TDNSN2NlS0dvbDFUZHFnPT0%3D/ERIC+ANDRE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(97e6ebec24a1ed67ed741b764ff680ef).jpg)
“Some people just have a way with words, and other people… not have way.”