![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWjNidTNXcmNPN1g4bmJrU3loN2E2bDBzMlBrYzMycDVjK0VZSENLM3NjRTBBT1N4aE1KaFlEUkFRcTFpVmxVU01JYXhrWldCNXc4Ym1hNjRtSGIvWldLRUVqeGcxQnhSMkR1dUFvMzZFZkpPZHpWTEE5NURJd0haaDNPTk1Tem5RPT0%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+FROM+CHRISTMAS+VACATION/(aa099ceabec7bb9814037deed1e883b2).jpg)
“It’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery!” – Clark Griswold
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“Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?” – Clark Griswold
![](https://imi.abcradio.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(5a9f43176a7081a6df10e65400017f75).jpg)
“We’re kicking off our fun old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.” – Clark Griswold
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“Why is the carpet all wet, Todd?” – Margo Chester
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“Can’t see the line, can you Russ?” – Clark Griswold
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“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant!” – Clark Griswold
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZlYxVWxxMVRyMG5IejRFL2VWSGR0VHRKVmpkam5CbFZxRFFHZ0dEci9aRWFhUVRvMS9Gbyt6OHA0aDlvaFFGMUxLdVgxaTRHUkJNUi82Vi8rei8wbjd1aGZCQk1Xdk9JZ3BLUTVQRnNjSnhLc2dYTkoyaVh4ZVB3T0JiNjgrTE4wdUpOVCtteG5OWU9KSlltRmVyb0ZhbThGb213ZW5mYVRkVVRrdGFBdk4xZ0J3a2p3dFVtNURnTmtkZ0Qra1N6QmcyNFl5cE9sY1BYVWpzWC8rRHh1djczL2ptaE9sclVKNWE5d2s2QndSR1UwRzBCNUw5aHNMWnAveWNrRlFZNmc9PQ%3D%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+FROM+CHRISTMAS+VACATION/(219d10fcd5465479f48f2294fb1ee666).jpg)
“We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye.” – Clark Griswold
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYTdqcUc0QURsd2RBU3I4TmFmR2JyWGhReU93dE5DZjcrTG9HWDFPZkpPbVNpbHVnOGh2blhpbUZZYjE1SDhyTG5LZDQxT24zbU1sY2NWZWdxYzZRVUxqUHVqUkpISjc2TE9HdGtUR2tTOTI5U1hOdk1mK280ZmxGVjVkVWF6blBmOTdveDlhTmhJM1l0T00vVnJzanY1ZkVzZjZod214My96aU95TUtYTmxBc09nRnl1WlFoeWdFd2ZRQldNcDUrcEpreVRucnVTZjdHOEgzK1VlL2NkRldjenZNOUd2NzN0Y01WTGJvSHk5RVBOdGdXWTFUMy9oaXNCZ095bG1EVGc9PQ%3D%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+FROM+CHRISTMAS+VACATION/(ea348bed5cf65a73279287054f41b3de).jpg)
“When Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!” – Clark Griswold
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZjhHTzYrMk1hc2traUpKOWszYzBoT01RMXFjK1M5bEdsTlhOSDB0VDZSS25acmZpOUdaQ3FjNVJqZnhBaUZ2ck4xREpMRUdKSTQyYnZoZHh0ckg4bVlrRXA5dDhicmVCWVRsN2NMMmsvbkM4ZjNraXZVVVB4RDQ4WkE2UDlmUm84PQ%3D%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+FROM+CHRISTMAS+VACATION/(d2a8103503e4adb1f0a15f9d8065ee5c).jpg)
“I’m sorry. This is our family’s first kidnapping.” – Aunt Bethany
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“Grace? She passed away 30 years ago.” – Aunt Bethany
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUU8zaHBkTzU2NWxvYmY5c0lYdDcrUXVCbHFnVkJLTDZqWjB4OEZpYTAvd0QxaDNUS3BYc0VoMmNhZXRiRDZlYWlMam5uREIvTnJJUXhHNzRrYkFxdHNhOEhXcmlnelc2cHJYSTF2N01Hai8rNlBZSzlXOUhQT25DMkM3NGV0b0R1Q2p3cllOU1JCVVE2T1FCMHE0emlLZXBPSlNSVy9BclNMd2FzdGxYQlRXUlNBQVVIMGJhemNIVzNzMitUWlBkVHMyVnZhZ3BJdzkzN2x2aDJpeVZQamtsZTR3NjFjZVNzYzBCdWhpa0x4RzJ3blZwVlRidEJML045ZzZVVG1nYWc9PQ%3D%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+FROM+CHRISTMAS+VACATION/(5c36e49dcc3436ef34c48b61c7e11f3e).jpg)
“Worse? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We’re at the threshold of hell!” – Clark Griswold QUOTES ABOUT FATHERS FROM THE BIBLE
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“Eat my road grit, liver lips!” – Clark Griswold
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“I don’t know what to say, but it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.” – Ruby Sue
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0FwMFJ2c1hrOGlybFV5V1QwL0pkWFVqUnh5NVBBU1AxbWJrYjlMV2tRTkUvL2VzQjdSTlpKanBQTlVCbWhqa0xKZFVoTW9BN1lzTGd3eFVIMUx1TmhDNFp3OVhpWktraTc3WERmc0lSNWlLVHc1TkhiZzVYd3h3U0tzdENadTJnR1RLaUpKKzd6SFZjWHQ5VFlHMWtYVW5IVklCSjZPUVcvYXBHaWZzMDZ4SVdiU0d6QytsRVZUMWtDTHdLaklCa1hYQ0h5bDFqdG5ObnJnM0svcjUvZXo2aGlYTG5nMEdWNlNGc3RYcGF3Qg%3D%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+FROM+CHRISTMAS+VACATION/(2d3a16c6de39a94a5a04abcaea30ef10).jpg)
“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?” – Clark Griswold
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWmdEWmR2bHZxL2dtYlJZNlFXOXh5SS9NeHlzTk4yZnFzWm93cG1ydmpBVG9STFByZnhlVC9pS2xwOWJEb1hXa2tpWWttVjk2cnVUZ21HSFVrRTh6WVVRRDJ5ZVFNZkpDWXlDcG52UThuaDB1QWx6WlBidWd4U1ZsT25UdysvTzZnPT0%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+FROM+CHRISTMAS+VACATION/(6f18e848c67a850f94d790600512672d).jpg)
“You set standards that no family activity can live up to.” – Ellen Griswold
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0xHVVo4c3ZaeHhuKzJGemU3S0hpQ3gzbVMrMCtzSG1Ua3lSVlU1SktubVZzdUFkc2wzSndWSkpsN3lGajN2dXRhU0JBMWh3VWRDYllFUmhPaUIzdnJhNXh1bkZGeDdEb1hWeEFldkMrNGdFdXdvckJnU29HdThrRndIQkhLK3RSMWlncHFjSE0yM0RMSnEwYzA4eG5nUmJyeHJIemxVQVVTYnNpWUNvb1pSVkpQaEl2Tm9LeDhHQlFKMFhSQWhkUT0%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+FROM+CHRISTMAS+VACATION/(906807b491134ae6993b0381d825d794).jpg)
“I’m sorry if I seem to take my time, it’s just that I’ve loaded a lot of help this evening.” – Clark Griswold
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWHpGeWJDMVdmSWoxY2w2U2pSRSthd2tuUnNVLy9ZOTlQN0xPKy9TSU8rK243V0ttL0l5Y1IvTXVKa0Q3MUhiS3d5L3YrU25nZWVtWXp2N3Q4MnZCTUNmNzhMMTJPQ1pOTDM0ckxORmpKRlR3SERWUUlmZm1pYzkvdDcyaEtmRWJTWXM2c2RRTzNBUXJkZ3RmL2JiNXZzPQ%3D%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+FROM+CHRISTMAS+VACATION/(00e954961ebb6e7a6f651f37a34141c3).jpg)
“Hey, Griswold. Where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?” – Frank Shirley
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1JCZFJTRkFYOVlRMFdKbWhVaXRnYTNWajhIazRyYWxaRCttazA4UGxLQWZSOWFCNEtvWGROL0VlSFVVbGpKL0dtQ3hIa2VhQWlZZ09ZSWgvck1wUkZpWWdBZ3Q3S2RiNDhVT0RuY3g1LzRrckxJakRiMWVsaUpMSnZZcmtNZDFRPT0%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+FROM+CHRISTMAS+VACATION/(1c6186b76d3f9982628a0774c299597c).jpg)
“If that cat had nine lives, she just spent ’em all.” – Clark Griswold
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“I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas.” – Clark Griswold
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1BPUHByK085RTVKalYrd04yZHc4RnRISUNJMFI4dmZQSnJxSmkxSEd6Y1E5cW1Ca2JreDAzbFB3b0RWTWJxSUhaUzZWenRPMFEvc3EzYlNtSWlUOUhFZjVmUllhMDBsTHdGcmNTcFAwUmZDV2pZTFAzbzNoWUdnaFNKZW9YNGx0WlBVUHdzalZwU2FjVVAyQklLWHAwU0EzRFk5U2F4ZjJwV2gzVWUxbzdm/FAMOUS+QUOTES+FROM+CHRISTMAS+VACATION/(5c16bc34b6d00ae43bcfb8fdf3a1fb3d).jpg)
“Just because I’m in a festive mood doesn’t mean I’m feeling charitable.” – Frank Shirley
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“The little lights aren’t twinkling.” – Clark Griswold