![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWlZTYmhZUnpNa0czNm9nc3VOeXJlOWErVU5ZM0F4K29XejFKZjJZZVBjRHlSVWdQVkhMWlZsM2tyNHkrTmRkVzduaEQ4b3pCaUhtSXd5VjVZdE9VY2VUVlA4TmJla0tGWEw5V2tqL2h3STV6K1lCZHdJbTFxOHJVWnRYS2haK2wrRzB1NUZYZkt0N2dxbU1LeHRXYjdOVE96ekR6VDdydmczOXB6OFdmd3NGMHhPV2pBMzJIZ2lxYTdyNlQ1bkt1dz09/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(d44acddf26f748fe0875e7ad0aa2cc9a).jpg)
“Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMGdYOUFodGxLMGp0a2VxY0RNaGZnemM1NDlqbHI1V1V4MUdNNU1OY0NJbUQzdU8wdW15N25WLzJGZ3VuM3BhRzVqSFFGUEhDQnJ2Z1ZaTG5RZlNNQ29RbFBmU2N2NW5nVEFjZjh5eDVjL0NRbGJEQjkwVjZITEV3RGZqWEhqQ29zPQ%3D%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(b9812ace078ef75c78e8fed4eb9c5070).jpg)
“Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number. You pick up the wrong phone.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzM1dIemJxNnRIa0N6c3ArRlowVHEyVXAwK0ZsRGFMSTJ3V0lQTkdoS1BGcTErdmkzaWhVcGdSZDFQOGR4c0RsVXRKbkVsaDgrU1pleTArWmIwQXU3NHU%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(37c40cea46b12949230ca9786564b5f5).jpg)
“Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMXdqaUFUZUtvNGxyOXpHYno2elQ0ZnE1dFNnSXAzWUpPRzl5Z0lGellsaHN1bEsyeFJ4TnJ2VWI1dUxJR2xOQzgwekc4VEI4a3hEM2ZoaXZwcERNYVM%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(7c56369306b80b975c3b498d7ee12762).jpg)
“Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMjhkV0tDWG1ORHAwMG1QRjZHUXFQV2V6cDVLN2xKMzRMaU01dEUzdWdEYmNZWFVLVHEzNDQwc0dBYURNODlHMFFmeDZmallUeUZjNDl6bW8vUkdHalA%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(947adc882ac28fbaf5416c46ef01c850).jpg)
“Chuck Norris can hear sign language.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzM3BPVUJKKzVickdSSXFtRmpja2xmaElLRGVkVi9CeEluVGRSVFgyMFpoZWhDNUJURmFsVGFHWW10Y3dRRUNyRUx0bGYvUVVJYXhSeGE3d1AxOGFSZjlzbDRRcERJclFnZWlXcjhneUFldkNVcEhVR3g4YXpiWXRzUExuYk1qRmxidEVrMjd4TllzVXhoUVd2TGVJbmN1/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(3e7da4f99fd6947d38dc36c036e4d76d).jpg)
“Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMHB2Mmk5VTU5WGpxUGtNT2xLN004K2lNL3p3QjVJdUxyTkR3Z0VMYkJNb04rWElPUFZsbVpGdHMvekJVaHdEVUE9/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(615c3874cb1ed8bd6bf77b52743d750c).jpg)
“Chuck Norris can divide by zero.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzM1hHVnhIeHlCZXBvQWNrRVJTakFSdVR6YkNyWm1SRUhVZmcrQnVYVVNvcE1EdWl4Vko5UjJVMnVyYmNzQm1LVTQ9/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(bae05153406d7151001904f43a32dcca).jpg)
“Chuck Norris can speak Braille.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMzdqQ2FsM0dldXhndmVaUngwQlVMN0kyR283eGxSb1FhUk0rOUJDNUw0S0oyZGhiRjQ0NldGUGs2VkxmaHZLWjlDV1JmblZ4aGlXcEFxVm80Wm9YYUQ%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(b8aed55f36e1cfe4a19e17b38662cc57).jpg)
“Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUVUwWGw5UTFwajZkaUhNMGlDOVBFWHVrcFRqNTE5bW1UK1hNWnFDTGQ1aGsrV3A2M1UrOUN5UitmcXZnci9CZG5oN2dESUJQcHNJNnNBYzA0OTNUVlpZMjFicyt0dW9rTCs1NlMwT3NvV2FZeUVTWnpJcDdTU0pFcG13Y0NXc3V5LzF0a3djSjJnMVZCeDE0b2VrUjZRaWtHV3YwS1JuZmV4b0ZMWXJwdlk4SEF5b3RXSVNmMjF3c0xQa1dwZU9FLzJzSmYvcG5NTTJYTnJoaGtyVHZpMD0%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(47566074778e9ad0c6e3d625c0f2d817).jpg)
“Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzM0lacHd6Q0gyWnNJQXV0Rzd0amRablBMU0dFM0lkTWI0bndmWFZYOVV6UCtFRW1Ndkcyb1FPMXYwc015ZGM3WnFSNllWclNLQ3k4K1F3emZJbUdSbHdOeW41M2ZjSy9YRXRvS3RxaE5EdGJ3PT0%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(723eeea16425538dac3f3506897a5353).jpg)
“Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMytzNlJCTm1aRUo1eFJ2aVBxeUp6RDdqbkc4ejd1ME5DdzlRSUZFVEtmUTBqU3lVVWxMYlFSeWtNMjFTeXU3MDB0Q3lDanBxVm1vTXRLNVo2K05jQUVvN3lzd3lFU1o1a2ZqalVzQTZ2ejZ3PT0%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(b32180d1b3901e9c14d7977734a29594).jpg)
“Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game…with a marble.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZUk5OGw3bFAzRUNuT0JrclVJS2ladFFBeVE5MU5KVCtwTEhnaGVVbEQ3aEc1bWY2UHFpWVMvM1JsejNORHdhNUZLYXprSzZIbi9BOEtaUkIzWUorbnVSalhFTDVxVzZ2SkdJcTN1d2NuT2sxekNuRitoZGpjZHRZR0ZweHYyOWY2QjFsSE92MHhadllOaVhmRkdaWWdYbXFEMzRhMFlnaHRBTFdTRmF5NUx4N1gzNFQyWEtrNGt1ZGNyMFF3dnlMTmN0aEhmRllyTEcvcXRRb0Raa3lNN0s1T1N1SWxqOXVvMlVCenNjUzZjbQ%3D%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(d89d73beabb05eaf992fd50d011bfa22).jpg)
“When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.” – Unknown WHEN GOD CLOSES ONE DOOR HE OPENS ANOTHER QUOTE
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMGdYOUFodGxLMGp0a2VxY0RNaGZnemhTVXJOQldzWFlCcXpaNTZneFYrY3V4bzdlcWdQZFdrZHNPTWFaK1lxbTJnaDVNeE5BTWFMQityeTc4VkoxVHFLVjlwd2lQRWRMOGFMTnFRZitkV0c5MytSbXRYRVhaRC9rd3laTkhlbTJzPQ%3D%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(14b7c6d8aa752cfdf4fca129d27d4ff6).jpg)
“Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzM2krRUhDNmMyWTJxci80a0ZSek5GRUU5MWFnMGFaRGJUSGJWWklKWFFqLzY2dGVUYzB2bnI5d0VKa0JXdHBmL0ZNY1NZa080R2lQcDlFTGRQMWRiOUc4eHA0OEdobCs4WGE5YlF0YUxVY0lSRzhsN2pWeUI2aFcrSUlTWThQZ0RNPQ%3D%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(7bdecae36e44ace37b4de2e4d348879d).jpg)
“Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0FlWjlFeUtrNG90TXJHeE9xaCtTcm5JZGEyd3JKdG8zZDRNK1MxUnZXSm1nbUdqUGxxaXJ5aG9wVnF6Q1ZsSUs5RFVmWUpwVlRQUzBleHQyLzAxNVRrZU5jaXo4cDRtM00xT1JUWVp2ZWpHN0pUcktJa0g2U2JwaDhENlJ0WkVOTUJvLzRuaDQ1M09NR1J1K0pVT3RrPQ%3D%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(7f8f6041cae7fb2060380909bf02018a).jpg)
“Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzM1dIemJxNnRIa0N6c3ArRlowVHEyVUVpWmF2ejZFKzJiOGN1ZExIUVVySkpRS0RMeE5iYm5COGplQ2lYREVGNWk2cWJIR2JiQTd2VjcxaXZ0VEdZTnYyUUYvU3NlT3ZzNUdnMUZSRUNkWXpRPT0%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(dbebea1402f1faaa0e964a6ba731c566).jpg)
“Chuck Norris can kill two stones with just one bird.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMUt3S2huQ0F0QVVPT0VFblVuT0hWUXFPbFdINWtXRitENzVSbVVoT2kxa0c0NHdhQ0V3UERKazI5RVRwTlpVOEY1WTBaN3RVNGNUb3pJRGxidWFubUI%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(f0ebc22af7f21de993d44d151fd65e8c).jpg)
“Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMGdYOUFodGxLMGp0a2VxY0RNaGZnemhpL1hBQ2hpc0t0WFNJQ1ExUGFweW5xbThRVnlrVy9yUDBTNTZabkJzMVpRSUNtdTBEa0VodWhYcmUzK0ZHVnk%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(44f98669c6ba36a87e95e644fa915e64).jpg)
“Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMDZ2azQ2c3lxU1ZwMSt6aXYrSlNnM0VFbzdJRFVJSytOU3JBeW5EQW5rcVkra2NLaU9KcUY2a2NsdHAxTWQ2YnJuNkc4SU9JOTFkU1dYZEVjcFloRzhyR1BIUlZ5enFqeHUwNUJKQjBjTWNnPT0%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(6baef0816f7d125c5af8b4b33a82af5a).jpg)
“Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMWpkOFZSQ1Y1TU9NQ3dxa2lvWUdJYUt4NGxYNy9CSWpvcGF4TWtLUW95K1dlTE1taDkrSHIxbFd5OGs0MDRQNnlCQTVoUCt3S3hoSTZrMkxSbmliTS8%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(05bb5075e25a69c3c15c984c8b822af9).jpg)
“Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZTVJMDR3TzFhd0ZHUXNOaGpjUkYvaTVVSXRDRmd6U1RoK3dndzNSMk13TEVLYitTWThjcXlnbVRSQjcrbXdubENTSTBwWm03NzMxRDdENGZ2K1FiZGJWeWZSeHhsNnUrVGRUa3BtaTRxZTdaTlpqU1VCbGU1ZXg5Rkx0QnBYRnR3PT0%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(f9144438b6221afdc0903f1001cc76dd).jpg)
“Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVzhjZmhMa0pEWnpzY3hMbTF2UjQxalZNSkdHY0x0TWlHNkg1c0dKZHRzTituaStCYndMU1dXVngyWkRMWDdPekI0OVJ3K0VGVC9wU0ZtclBqNWdQcWJDeFQzaDNJTVRlOGNON1FrMnBjelFPZDJ2bnIwVUhWY1ZNUVd3VUdlTlk4dTUyVm1qZHIwQ0EvQ0FpdHFJbFY3SmowWkIrUTVBVGJQV3hXRHhZNHRM/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(712d7bcd92c0cde2f3f49f03980192ac).jpg)
“When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t lift himself up, he pushes the Earth down.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzMlFLN0x2N1NjLzJBWDJhQWI4bmdvZy9RKzdSOWx2WVVlT3lDNDJMbGw1dWxRYlNnOGJlYmJPcy83STNGR3FXWkdYVjFkeTJGZWdwOGNySFgvRTdOeW5EbURiT0x4NFF3cXN5czEwZnhkcWh3PT0%3D/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(7781fa152559fc8caf9ff94dd108618b).jpg)
“Chuck Norris once had a heart attack, his heart lost.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFpuSUhiblJEVGQzMG1xTTljL3pzM2RJY2J4WXU5QmJOZkh2K2wrZ3hFQlB2MlZQa2NBY3pyNGZKMWpiTS9jaGM2KytYNmx2SmpWNW5hNlRkUzlzVXlIZzQyclhlV0M3NnEybXc3b204S1piMUZ0dG9VNGVvZ1U1MnlBVVBINmJaL2pha2pRWXpZLzh2bGp5RzQ1bWlnMjhzcmY1MjR3WDdkQU05M3RQcytz/QUOTES+ABOUT+CHUCK+NORRIS/(e4ee8beaf140f1497c3dabb4ecc24345).jpg)
“Chuck Norris walked into a bar. The bar said, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food.'” – Unknown