![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TUlZTV3EyL21rOXRFZ1JWVUErK2dwVXVzTkZYbDIxOGRIeVM1ZlJjVDN4WDZZWDVBWTRDZ0xhNFBGdERxSWNXazJTWVNCQ3hrd2MvWC9SZDRMRTFLa1g%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(74f04d3f766f30e6d3473d45ca635057).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMUktyVHhXaDJURmdBOXdKdG4wWDhsU0RYUFozdi81dXZQTlBZSXZEejV2MXFRKzhvOWVaOUE0cDY1aFBiRTlyNkxtaEdwcU5pQW1GcWlCcmYySzFERVc%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f1ef8531d92c115c035e8867d68e0c88).jpg)
“I tried being normal once, worst two minutes of my life.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aVVrNmUxUFdZMG5Lb1VOK1hqcUYyWkRPbFdEaHVpOWtZNW03bzNvK2RrbldvQlZxc3NPajhiM2EzTjA2UHZhSFovOGNBREllRjRvQkhFWjZPNU5QWnV5cU44TEFRaEZkY2FWL0lQaUJMUjhnPT0%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6bff97860e96ccfc4f1986fd1c1bc3b1).jpg)
“I don’t need anger management, I just need people to stop pissing me off.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYytjT09ZL2dTMys1U2kzYTJyT2N0dHc4SWFmNWlxVXM5bVQveFZmUEx4ZjZKQkhDV0FPcGdMeUlBMHVQZ2VsZ3Btc3pRZ3Nzcjh6TTJjQWt6QzhmSFhrSklVUklCdi9NVFVQLzY1MWlDeXU%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(35345892ebf713383ac5041bf5d6fe39).jpg)
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the volume of my awesomeness.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0RXYVYwZjJlWGpleXVtTGJkWStTdjdzQm1aMFdRQUx2RGhOZ3NuYnJKa2NhRW1nNXpOR3lsSi9lZ0d2NWxNcGpUeW83aEdtNzluN3VqRTVoU0hBM0cydG8rM3htdGhJYW5qdkNRYUhsa1o%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3a7f6f3c75a9ee31abbc57adad737796).jpg)
“I may be a genius, but even geniuses have their off days.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZlA5UFp3aWc3QWVFZHdrQUxqY2hzNmN0WXVNYXp4em1lS0Y1ZENickxXVExYNHdRM3VVb3ZYYWRtcWNkT3pyU2hiQnBXeFpiUTVsSkNBWnA4Zk1UTEY1SExmWEpHNW9MRnU3d3pzS2NnVExpc1ZwVktiL3Z2empEcFRVdWIxa05nPQ%3D%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c52fa72fb6de97ff247b8f43555d3237).jpg)
“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen us together in the same room?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2ajEzUVZqTUFxeGNmZ2RnejZ6V3FGMmNWcjBWaW5ucTNpS0g2am5mWHMreTNPbis5dzcyUnB6TDhDUkhhQkJ3ellmMlNxL0ZaOFZXMlEydXN5Z05PY08%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c6699ebad1539d1cdc77925e88ae8dc0).jpg)
“I don’t hold grudges, I simply remember facts.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUSs0bk9VYUdCNTJSejcwd0d4ZjBDeXV0WkdyRE1PU0lqdU1zTHUrcGdrdk10TytlQ3lZN1RkWWV3OGUwa2FxdDNjeitCTzJNbXg4ZGZHbFBua2VZaGpnQlZaMmNNWkxOSmJqaFhNMzYvRWY%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0d50f52de601b98c6c628ecdac62887d).jpg)
“I only use my superpowers for good, unless there’s a sale.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkJHMUZYOUVvNlJsV25QY3RIZ1pmMGxyZ2gwbytFemFxSmNUTWFvbjdZU3NTYzVLbTRjRUtKa0RleHJITHJpdXBsOGt4bzF6Rjc5QjVvODNNeFZMdWs9/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(4c9a9ee91fe0760404468781470b2754).jpg)
“No, I’m not paranoid. But why are you asking?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aWRPYjVibkx0RWk2Tm90d1RSVXRLeXJIZlIrbTkwelA4WDZmdUIwamxrbGtPKzB4ZFhzRWhyY0RUZVZ3RDNzOUE3cStYQXl5UDE3MG9zRHllWlRRWlNRNE9aZExScUlMcGg0cnNoay9VaVhRPT0%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(2bcab31cd51e2372a9d31e57c62a4a3e).jpg)
“I don’t sweat the small stuff, I just turn up the air conditioning.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWnJjbGxYbStZUk1VV1VsdDZmTEUrZ3ZzOGZrRk9VbW5iTDZKZE9SSW05azh4a3JlQjgxbElzSlphQy9XUnpXc0VoWnUxOGtNSklTajlSS2lobExYaGM9/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(1d3ea124925ab1081b8fe14d89c700fa).jpg)
“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYWs0QlJkU3Z6WDYrWDFiVERSei9ER0dVdFBKckNxbklMYVdCczlVNVBJRUY4S2RyMlpvYUk1Mk9vREErZ1hJY0loa05pdTdjQU45cnJ5ZzNwdUFoa2ZXczVyalc2Tm5sNjNla2lyc2lRZjM%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(be42f99dd7cc6a6f665e18c7bf2a40b3).jpg)
“One day, I’ll take a nap, and it’ll be amazing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUhtam5XalBwQTFwYWFjRGpFRlhMbmcxTU5ORUI1MFB0eS92cU5uQkRIMXJENW9MMjVPenhIV2lXdFBwSTQrTnRPR0ZPYVc1VC9tSW4zNHN4Um8yUHQwdGpTT2RxczVMWWIycTVyZkFCTHVwNW1kNzBWWThZUmhjSGJzVXFrdFNRPT0%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(16f50e220d39bd78bba3c02639831bb5).jpg)
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZjExVFk5eE5JVUpWR0Fmb2JpampqeThqdERnR1BXZDU5OGlGeGVTN0FXbkZqTzJVT2Y5MUVpNXNPVE5jQTVPRDBGbHZQMm9jYXJ3cnhEaUZqQ0FWb1U2MUtJRUE5WEx1cis4bTNLS21pWGlBPQ%3D%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(59fc5302aa441a713b2fc36a99e70a4e).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on standby mode until motivation comes online.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFViYU5MbGRVa0FNNWZuMTFUR2FFTlc1UkhKYU1DTU45d3pxRkFkSVp2eW91Si9LdFI0Y3ZHVzFETjJHdWhOWmNuODQ5SHpCVnJyWWwyZXVpN1ZoK2VFVHdNU3M4KzlPY2dDeTA5ZVErbU43YW55bWhJbjQwcEZ5c3hIaCs3d1dnPQ%3D%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(557d05dc4ccc93ccf6bc1809a4fdf645).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me, and the tables and chairs are bullies.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUxFWHpHZ3lGa205SlZCQit3V09RVHhOWTU2SC9BZ0s4aGxKaXFQK1ZZUDJIQVdqc0l5NDFsN0RTUXJWdDNsc0t0UHhsc0ptVkxkNzFIUmF2SWt5T1E3U3Ivb2hjenZDTG5qUENHRVlIOHR2S2NUOUVZV2ppdVVyN1RpMDNleXFWOUNaQnJhNllrRTdvb2ZXSE5kRWt3PQ%3D%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a1582c2d60292e068fc05971c0920e94).jpg)
“My superpower is making people laugh until they snort.” BIBLE QUOTES ABOUT BREAD AND WINE
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY2VYbXpWM0ViN3ZRY3BBNmFLOTdNaHFjc0hhTzNnUUprSGEwbS9HaS9OM09jRXZuUE01Qldnc2tEVzZacnhURloxUDBMMlpRQkJFOEtUMTV6YXZ6a0Q%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e5265cfb1139abcaf6ce2d0f61a35317).jpg)
“I’m not short, I’m just ‘fun-sized’.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1lHNjRJK1pKYTBqMWpZV1U2OW10UTRIaFdGSTJPR2JRbDJyN3FEZ2pDREorek1BSVdNZ3VvK1hNZTMrTld2T2sycUwrOWt6UnN3UUh2V2JaUEtKRk9vWnRZdmY0Q0REZzB6a3dNUWwyamFsL1ZMbWtCZ2VjV0pESTAxNTYxZ0FRPQ%3D%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(83d92a1dcf0edf923066cf8e65943ee8).jpg)
“I’ve run out of sick days, so I’m calling in ‘dead’ today.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0ZTb0hTWElhU0t6eGhaZTJZaGNPY1pOak1hQ2FnWGVVbk50ZVFlbHpUMnByUWdPNWhhd0N6aWsyS2lMYWdZVUhRS2g1M1NHUEl1V0t5cVFDbUZXMlRoYlFCcG83aEF0anZuOHZZcUZGWDEyRTBORWVwa3dzNW1uT2dhR1lWVWZDYlR2UkJXbXFWd01LbWhmdUlWSTV3PQ%3D%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b255f3036824197c51b583d7e8b56f90).jpg)
“I love it when I catch someone staring at me. I mean, I admire my own reflection all the time.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aTJVTG01RWtjU2pXQVdyQXl2aTQ2T2IxSjVQN1NKcFU3UVBRbEpjaWx3QkN3ODlZZEQxeGJQdEtKNUdIYUlpU1U0Wkd5ZzAxMGhNd2hMT0pzWEZPWlFrZnRJNCtBeGtEbVJ3azdlNEoybXhGNzJsN0NPN0Z1RzFmUzRsRzlkV09pVXlieUlZeVExNnpKK2JPa2ZWdEFB/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(fc3ed04957f0e32026e4f50e00ddac13).jpg)
“I don’t procrastinate. I just wait until the last minute because I’ll be older, and therefore wiser.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV2gyZGpzS01iOHRIWjZQNFVQYWhWaVMyUFovUFdmeDNwb09iMllNQjREQXBqSGxBME42eENDdlkxaURFNFRHS3ZXamdac0R5SXZLd3doSUJzT3o2ZXJGc1FLM2xXVXNpRys1cjZLUm5pdDRueURyWFJDbXJ1Zkc2djgybE1WNHBBPT0%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(82f8c8e07aabed4f325ebdf69586a459).jpg)
“Sure, I’ll attend your pity party. Can I bring my sarcasm and bad manners?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZk1XU2h4amQycTJGN1dkU0lUenlRNkdMYXFzSGhkamxLUzh2aWlNZUhrcUR3OEhpSldIeFNxelA3OFoxbFJvZUU9/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d13bb4454f3f27cfb7ddf837f8097d4f).jpg)
“I’m not stubborn, my way is just better.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZktjeEVndkxzRmFaRHhsaXl1RVdEbnVWVFo0K2VRVmZkaEhQcm8rSnNTQU1oWnpuODJQZFV1Z2Q3aGxJRFlva0RUNi8ydWxQSGs0WnczUnNKZ0dEMkEvV0xyL1gwM1V2OWVHNGgzVEM3V0F3PQ%3D%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(38349f82aa7a6ae3f7048b34c6b00d30).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist, I just need gravity to stop messing with my hair.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYytjT09ZL2dTMys1U2kzYTJyT2N0dVVlQ1pBRFZwRXpxS3pBUEE0SFhpTW1TYkhsVkpmR1J4bnQxaHpQTHZsSGhFc3hxSU00T2VYVUNWQko0ZEhTeFpSU1E4aXNaZjVRRC9Fc3ZrZHNDSlVqUEZ4dzJMYlFTVzR2M3dySklUbUNRPT0%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3120800d0274bb459f80edc3ae5e0de9).jpg)
“Sorry, I can’t go to the gym today. I’m allergic to exercise.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV1FlMkk5Q0FZeU9EK040YTI1UnJUWE9RbzU3Rk5qSGxNRWt6TUt4dUZIQ0ZySmhOYll5YnBCbXhpUGJ4RGNrWU50WXcxb215MHErNGR5eW9jWHRyTjJqbEJzREdrMDJJQnBjbnMrU3VXZzQ%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(dc7bb562c57d0e93d1d62ab6e442ce77).jpg)
“I speak fluent sarcasm, it’s my second language.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aDlCWDh6MlhXTEw2eVhQU0gvZFBYK25FVkNnRDAxc1dNaE5QSGZ6NldrVFY1a3NUVmpucy9IUVZtNXBVcUNhNHJxanFBQnJ0WndlR2tBSldjdTJNVTEvelE1VUhxeTQvTHVNeWVUUXBNbUlBPT0%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7f572c96a6da7298cdb4204ebaa30539).jpg)
“I don’t diet, I just eat healthy until I’m comfortable in my jeans.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0RXYVYwZjJlWGpleXVtTGJkWStTc3hORlM1R29DWWVBNnhWajlONGptMmlkRnlSMUU5VXdDM1R1UWNwNjFkTWZwVnp2VE9ab09aSzhXNVRTVkNUdTl5d2YvUG5xdGVXVjFpZnlLWkVaRXo%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(ff221b8caed4f159dee42e9f389a857e).jpg)
“I may be crazy, but crazy is a lot more fun than boring.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteUpQMFZzZlh0UmtyVzZxSFBVZzhOMU9kaWd2QmpUQUlwWERGK1ZRV1BzOWYwSjVXNm9QcWlHOFV4Lzl5RUd3RHI5RmNja3M5RnlLWmJDMUh3MGNMVVA%3D/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e7d8aeec62cd3ca2f46944d1d87a0249).jpg)
“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWk4vNFVXMnZYcU9PZGVmaXZTejcweDd2cy9ucXlqK2J6cjRYOEVmVUk3cUV1cFhNK042aExDTXR5bXdPRmhDU3B4UklBbUcxa2svdzRaaHljdjdtWVU9/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d3d644e405f115e518b293811e53843f).jpg)
“Who needs a social life when you have WiFi?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWUzdBY3RFQzk2eDdNVUxWZFh6TzNCNUdudUUyWWIvQ0Q1aWhuNVNFTVZ0eVdjajZLS0p6NkV1dkdhY2N1NTBpMDg9/POINTLESS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(350da6e9f1b013e39c6187648aecd2a4).jpg)
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”