ABSURD FUNNY QUOTES

“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

“I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

“At night, I can’t sleep. In the morning, I can’t wake up.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“I don’t need anger management; I need people to stop pissing me off.” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown

“I always run late, but I make up for it by running very fast.” – Unknown

“I’m allergic to mornings. They make me feel sick and annoyed.” – Unknown

“I’m not short. I’m fun size!” – Unknown

“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.” – Unknown

“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.” – Unknown GOD WATCHING OVER YOU QUOTES

“Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I just prefer to do nothing.” – Unknown

“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown

“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.” – Unknown

“I have a degree in procrastination, I just haven’t gotten around to framing it yet.” – Unknown

“I’m not sure if I’m actually funny or if people just laugh at my face.” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the table bullies me, and the chairs attack me.” – Unknown

“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown

“I’ve developed a new philosophy: I only dread one day at a time.” – Charlie Brown