![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVENqcCtOS1RBdVdhUHpGdCtMS0ZPN2RUKzl4S0NpR01GOWlNUkF5U3ZvVHNqcy9HUmtROWJpOGs4UmlRMTh4R1NCRnRJZ1Bta2ZnTGI5UDNPSGZKc2M4UUwyVnM0WGtoN01oaXpURmxsL3Q%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(15866fad1f0448bc1602006ba17258be).jpg)
“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aWJNRHg2cnR3czN2YnV3Ui9rSFFjMzdPTmlRdUZKcnl1emhpMnMzcksvMG03eFFkV0lHdlhNR2E0aldhWlU3L3RsbDM5SjFicnlhQlJKc09EbXl2aWpmK21LZGFTYmlzVTduVy9JRE9ZTlhRPT0%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(965d2c3cb779cb6b03d26ac0004f690b).jpg)
“I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZmhYNStpcElUQjRYZFpCeXl0OXh1MldsU3pkVmh2UFlidUhjTllsRVQ5ZU1pWTN0SVBqUFZuWFpjN0hmMVZXVkJrMXMwVXV0aDhjUkV6RGdFMkxlYnZRPT0%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(53f58b9408b4e94aa1d80f5645c81402).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFlaZ1ZuM1VERFZCMWJuWWVLWDkvTFNRM1FERGE4TTlhS3p2bHF1UHVJSGlRUXhlN21JWmdvK2tvc01HKzRMcDBwclZaVmpybmxDdVcyT1dUd0tsZm1YWHhMbTBWZEpMNmlMOU1tdWFuek5jamZmajFXQTFCbTBMcHVZa3Vpc1VVPQ%3D%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(fc2e3060299f5445310279ab4142dea4).jpg)
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWnY3NlpsRFJiS0VLbStRYTlmMit3V3BteHR5ditRN2ZkOXZJWDc2V2NtZWxYeEVhUTN3SjYvYlhjQ1ZHVENla0hCOVZFSjJOdDdrWmZySkJ4SlZMV2liN0U4RVBuRSs4RHZkbW5pQXYyc1hoeHczVkp1c1VCOGlINnlvL3U4bFQwQW9iNHlFMGVTQ1EvTzBEM3lTYU5ZPQ%3D%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(34879c6814af49d431e56c82eda5f2e9).jpg)
“At night, I can’t sleep. In the morning, I can’t wake up.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZjNzdnVIU0VCcytENmpVd1VWMGVCTU51VkY4b1JyNkdwVnZ0YTNyTjdKYStQdVNZZElac1FDR3o2SlhTRHdxVTk2OUhmT0FkQ0dEd2I2Z3N5bVg4WjFuREt4OThON29JYlVtU3lQQVB4aGgzWGZuZjVaejJ5UEVRSEp6cWpybXJv/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(4022bd507c44d899ad8e30ba9b1a2bb4).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aVVrNmUxUFdZMG5Lb1VOK1hqcUYyWmhVSjhEeWZaQXFKTWtabXE2cGx2UEMyd2VacURkL3RPUEVvek0wRUlua2VKdk9TNlI4a01oWUFFVmQxQ2VFbUM4KzVnTXhtRFhvL2U5cys4dGlwSkQ0Wk9EN3Z1aG81SmdJV21NRlFCQzh3PQ%3D%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(b9692e893b681d38d6c534614ffd8688).jpg)
“I don’t need anger management; I need people to stop pissing me off.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFViYU5MbGRVa0FNNWZuMTFUR2FFTlc1UkhKYU1DTU45d3pxRkFkSVp2eWxLMmtuUEk0SHRBSDVadnBkMTdzdjRFTkdPR2V0TWhBc3gyOUEvSFowQW42aFFZeklSZ1p4T1hucExneHBOTmRNdmpqbTZydEYxWFdqcmF4eVBDYWxyUlBwSFdFMUNqNHFCVGN6YW15bFZTampacDQyWW1ndUsrancyOHk3MGJsUT09/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(0c7753724fa44f96ff12f946c0a32553).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEl4U1ZwT3lsT1RmZmoyMzFtcGNZV0hBRkVPM0lOdGxVTjVXazBtTmJYa1NpcU12RHA2QXIxYXNkdFl6VUJZM1QrY3dpL1hQNVhFSiswTjk4VWZmSm1GUzl6akJRcEJzeHRzTENjbjZJa2ZablhxYVJsMmVleGxxZmlSSk4wNnR3PT0%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(77f2df27729bc2defd824ead3e1c8f08).jpg)
“I always run late, but I make up for it by running very fast.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZnZZRDBsVEU2NnRFUmNEUXBGQVpINTZWQnl5Mmx5UWhHVWErZXE0SE8vNW1rTVNIVXB5VDNaYWM0RVVJV3hncGliZStoRGo4aEM1MG1qWWpSdC8zdW92SDNyOTNZNGRhSExvcXNqZWFBNHR6RUdrenFyeDNRd1NqUGkxV0tmazkwPQ%3D%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(e493fe6ece6b0a0209c92bb0375f973d).jpg)
“I’m allergic to mornings. They make me feel sick and annoyed.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZGx3Nzg1b3hmWnR6a294WFVkWWJHczcvenp2Mk4xeE0weGR6NS9pU2VrbG9wL1FqUW04Zklnd1hDS21LR2lENWFTQThCVDVYcWJ1enI5bFd6UHRDK00%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(2428ae5e22f29d4315336595fdf9c775).jpg)
“I’m not short. I’m fun size!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWW9tZkY4L29zWGw4RDJOcGhoakhZbUZRYU55WVZnRTFwUythOFpEZUhidkFyRDlPc24yK1VDZUtRRUlaYmpVOUJRQkRzNlNLRlRSRFFJdXBZRHo4RTlRbXlPenIzSmpjemVZa2EweGlqdzg%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(a995f2b7018e38228351fcdcf368bccb).jpg)
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aWJNRHg2cnR3czN2YnV3Ui9rSFFjM0V1Y2I5RG5jOE0zOFZSeERpN240OVpBSzhXQkxLek5mZGNLcmpoOXEyY25sWURCS2t4WVQ0d2V5SHBiRWd1VjA4YzZ0enI3SFVDSkNvdHFjSURyR0JNOHUyTHFuTlhGdEx1ZEJNY1o4Z2Jrakg4c1JBc3VCYVkxZEtmbW1vUDJw/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(e0e8a61f357bd951b26c0bf92e2a6787).jpg)
“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.” – Unknown GOD WATCHING OVER YOU QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWUlJwQzF0cWlvTjJpQ3JPNUJRN00rNzBGOFZ2MWpDTFh3MFE2TUE0aU1udWRtYkNYUGEvenUwWUdNampuWkpKS0I3RkFOcFQ1QmpvMHJsTnMvZlRqcGQ%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(bafecb704ae8d8925c8aa019f0e594df).jpg)
“Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZk5idUlhakovekU1T281VU9GMVFvNVdnNTdVTkdvVnNjd2tLb1Nzc1oxVFN0OUo4ZncwQTFMUFpxUkJwUkFhZlcrUVZmQnF6Y0V3am9EMXRXQSswNTE%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(71ce8467f3dff39e182e59a03fe7f218).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I just prefer to do nothing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteEtNb1E1bjlPNjBhZkw4MlNBYzV6Kzd2Vmt4c2ltc1IzVzNtdlA4R3NhTEZHOG5wd2pWbHZaTGd3ZFJoc3Q4ZHp4Rm1VTERkcGVCMGdyaUhSeUJTbnQvOUZpYWlDaitnSkYrYmdJRWNDTzFBPT0%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(22547c4d100155cd0b89e6f327b48422).jpg)
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDEvYmFLUE16dW8yOHRWTG90V0RmRUM0QUR3WWlsSzA5bU5pSjM0b2l4NzRLaGNpbDIyYjk0QllpVVVQT0h3YWFwaFY4V1NVZDUwajNIMlA1V0g2UWNldW5jb1lmNTNJa3JtSEVvZnJnOVJZYkV0UjNlWkFrNGpQdVQzdGM5c2kwPQ%3D%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(1ba85d0dffaba3b3c04a8d452be9a129).jpg)
“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsNWg0SDZOTm9sdzRaOVcyc0owWUpaRlBIRDlaMFNUejh3c1UxRzJmUEt2Z05Ndk5hMFl5L3RlQk5GbkpoTURJdWZucWRua3djWkFacXU3eDZOTklGbG5PMnViRHhOMlp2Z2YxYWZXbW5QQjBvT3R3MkRiTWswTGZraHd5azJVZnNxM2xQNFl5NHJHZzNaVWJjNWpsZjlR/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(fa5609f97790b94402b19647f9042921).jpg)
“I have a degree in procrastination, I just haven’t gotten around to framing it yet.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFNjNHdiQVM1Skw1ZmJUQWkzQkdvbE9MVWZzem00RElFT2RUVklheVR0YW5NT0R2aElFd1kxcFJON3phT2JqNnNBeUNTd3MvSGFCV1p1TlZvcWluVEdIKzNvZUJLRnE1ZnByNWQxaWNVVW5KTjgyVFBrUDQycUtyMHhBYUQ4Z3U5R2Y4UlhUd2pEUS9MTnQvWkJNQ044/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(d8e0d645dbd6ea03677ed82391c09636).jpg)
“I’m not sure if I’m actually funny or if people just laugh at my face.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1hxVEd6YnpUVG1oRFJiTEE0dkFMMFZHTW51VUZ2ZmtWUmtiQmdPeWZrdEYwbzAxdEVDMklXUlJCQWRNWklLK0V6TzIrNmg0K3pYdzBHek5VdlNJWnlaWWVvaXg0bmdtclpFdEJtYWpMRXFYNzB3ZGxCTzIwdUtPQlFvL2s2cEZIN2VaVGpuVEJZd0l0SUZaek9uZ2Z0RjRzcy9LYnBYTytiSGFVWURUUlk1Zz09/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(a096fdd2c160bb4ea47bd169893c48da).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the table bullies me, and the chairs attack me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteUpQMFZzZlh0UmtyVzZxSFBVZzhOMU9kaWd2QmpUQUlwWERGK1ZRV1BzOWYwSjVXNm9QcWlHOFV4Lzl5RUd3RHB3UWp0L2lwYnpTL21ObjNMek9LTlAvTDJhdkRsY2Z0c2FSMFViSmZGZnBnPT0%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(193842f4c2c9cdd90745b7513b7ad0d7).jpg)
“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZmZFREo1L3VZZnVqMXlaUlBuUmowSDV4b1BSZTBPZi9RRHVoMWZqVVY1QjFPUXZEdVJoWC9UTGE5TlpJb1FnandSN0FLQWVyc2E0V2xPeWxHeUxYZlRCcU02TWsvZ21iMjJ2OHlrSGJ3ZFZtN0x1SStkejRxOGVHSzAwTEVsRkEr/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(cff7ebd2b684bc3b6385b95b845c1fa2).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUhtam5XalBwQTFwYWFjRGpFRlhMbmcxTU5ORUI1MFB0eS92cU5uQkRIMXJENW9MMjVPenhIV2lXdFBwSTQrTnRPR0ZPYVc1VC9tSW4zNHN4Um8yUHQwdGpTT2RxczVMWWIycTVyZkFCTHVTQUY0Szh2SFE4VVhuYXV5cW9OUFFVTlhza3djNWZJZ2xkU095b3dzeU13PQ%3D%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(2f9d44429e703ad2fc93b4694c2c7f79).jpg)
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZUJhNkNTd3BmMzNVd1NZMDVQekpMbWdrcmFJSkxQcXovaFk3UzV1K1NUcE5iVWpzWDJOUlJuVG5rMDFHMkpaZTgwMStZdlZDY3Avc0NjMGltSG00UVo5SStxNWhZQ1Q2S3lUdEJibnJoM2xuUjFXNDhwUU1OM3pNSlp4clVzOHp3PQ%3D%3D/ABSURD+FUNNY+QUOTES/(dfbe25171d388cc3581103581edf233b).jpg)
“I’ve developed a new philosophy: I only dread one day at a time.” – Charlie Brown