BE FUNNY QUOTES

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”

“Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”

“If at first, you don’t succeed, then maybe skydiving isn’t for you.”

“I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make it on Mondays.'”

“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore? Because they make up everything!”

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”

“Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!”

“I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.”

“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”

“A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.” FAMOUS QUOTES BY MARIE ANTOINETTE

“I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it – it was a shitzu.”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore? Because they make up everything!”

“I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We still haven’t gotten a gig.”

“I always wanted to be a comedian, but I figured I didn’t have the balls for it. So here I am, haha!”

“Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”

“Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.”

“I’m not saying I’m clueless, but I once tried to microwave a TV dinner without taking it out of the box.”

“I wondered why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”

“Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”

“I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.”