BE HAPPY QUOTES FUNNY

“Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” – Henry David Thoreau

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns

“The only way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.” – Phyllis Diller

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” – Steve Maraboli

“I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms!” – Michael Scott

“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.” – Louisa May Alcott

“Happiness is like a cat. If you try to coax it or call it, it will avoid you; it will never come. But if you pay no attention to it and go about your business, you’ll find it rubbing against your legs and jumping into your lap.” – William Bennett

“The key to happiness is not taking yourself too seriously.” – Unknown

“Happiness is having a soulmate who is just as crazy as you are.” – Unknown

“If you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up.” – Hunter S. Thompson

“Happiness is like a bicycle, it’s only possible to keep your balance while moving forward.” – Albert Einstein

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx FAMOUS QUOTES ABOUT CHURCH

“Happiness is when you accidentally match your clothes to the crayon box.” – Unknown

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams

“Happiness is having a chocolate chip cookie in each hand.” – Unknown

“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

“Happiness is not thinking that everyone else’s grass is greener than yours until you realize they’re just using a lot more fertilizer.” – Unknown

“I told my wife she was drawing in her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.” – Tommy Cooper

“Happiness is finding out that your age is just a number, and most of the time it’s a wrong one.” – Unknown

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“Happiness is having a friend who can lift your spirits just by rolling their eyes.” – Unknown

“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Unknown

“Happiness is when your stomach growls and the delivery guy shows up at the same time.” – Unknown

“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” – Isaac Asimov