“Being a mother means being on constant toddler patrol.”

“Motherhood: where every day is bring your own patience day.”

“I used to have hobbies. Now I have kids.”

“Being a mom means having sticky hands and a full heart.”

“Motherhood: the only job where you can be both CEO and janitor.”

“I’ve mastered the art of multitasking: I can simultaneously change a diaper, cook dinner, and referee a sibling dispute.”

“Motherhood: where sleep is a luxury and silence is suspicious.”

“Cleaning the house with kids around is like shoveling snow during a blizzard.”

“My kids think I’m a superhero. Little do they know, I’ve just perfected the art of hiding snacks.”

“Being a mom means knowing how to remove any stain known to man.”

“I may not have it all together, but my kids still think I’m the best mom ever.”

“My favorite pastime: silently judging other moms at the playground while pretending to read a book.” QUOTES ABOUT YOLO

“Motherhood: where fake smiles and pretend laughter are essential survival skills.”

“Sometimes I think my kids are secretly plotting to take over the world. But then I remember they can’t even find their shoes.”

“The best part of being a mom is always having an excuse to leave boring parties early.”

“I never knew what true exhaustion felt like until I became a mother. It’s a special kind of tired that no amount of coffee can fix.”

“Motherhood: where your clothes are perpetually covered in mysterious stains.”

“If my kids had to pick between me and a supermodel, I’m pretty sure the supermodel would win.”

“I used to be cool. Now I’m just a perpetually tired human juice box.”

“I’ve become an expert negotiator: just ask my kids how often they get their way.”

“My kids have turned me into a walking jungle gym. I’m pretty sure they view me as a personal amusement park.”

“Motherhood: the only job where the job description includes being a personal chef, chauffeur, and therapist.”