BEST FOOTBALL QUOTES FUNNY

“Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.” – Gary Lineker

“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.” – George Best

“I couldn’t settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country.” – Ian Rush

“I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.” – Muhammad Ali

“I am a football player, I play in football stadiums not in a ballet show.” – Cristiano Ronaldo

“I would have been a plumber if I wasn’t a footballer.” – Gareth Bale

“I always said that a bad day playing football is still better than a good day working.” – Unknown

“I don’t know if they were men or women fans running naked across the field. They had bags over their heads.” – John Makin

“The only thing I fear more than missing a penalty is not taking one.” – Gary Lineker

“I once cried because I had no boots to play soccer. But one day, I met a man who had no feet. So I took his boots.” – Zlatan Ibrahimovic

“I’m as happy as a monkey with a new banana.” – Jurgen Klopp

“Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it’s much more serious than that.” – Bill Shankly WOMAN SELF WORTH QUOTES

“I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know, and I don’t care.” – Frank Layden

“You can’t win anything with kids.” – Alan Hansen (regarding Manchester United in 1995)

“I’m so proud of this team. They worked hard and got their just rewards. And, er, if anyone can lend me a tenner, I’ll be forever grateful.” – Unknown

“I’m not a man of many words, but I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” – Cristiano Ronaldo

“When you win, you don’t get away with nothing. When you lose, you don’t get away with anything. And when you tie, you don’t get away with much.” – Damon Runyon

“I wanted to go home, but they kept kicking the ball to me.” – Graham Taylor

“I’m so good-looking, even the ball gets attracted to me during the game.” – David Beckham

“I’ve had 14 bookings this season – eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable.” – Paul Gascoigne

“You can’t score a goal if you don’t take a shot.” – Wayne Gretzky

“I’m a defender, but scoring goals is still more fun than showering with your socks on.” – Rio Ferdinand