BEST GRANDPA SIMPSON QUOTES

“Back in my day, we didn’t have electric toothbrushes. We had a stick with a frayed end, and we had to lick it clean.”

“I used to be with it, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary to me. It’ll happen to you!”

“When I was a boy, we didn’t have these fancy video games. We had to amuse ourselves with a stick and a tire hoop. And we were happy! Mostly.”

“I’m old and I’m cold, and I’m rude. Deal with it!”

“When I was your age, we didn’t have emojis. If you wanted to smile, you had to show your teeth, and if you wanted to wink, you had to get something stuck in your eye!”

“You know, people always think they invented drugs in the 1960s, but my generation was doing ’em way back in the ’30s. We just called ’em ‘bath salts’ instead of ‘acid’.”

“Sonny boy, back in my day, grass was something you mowed, pot was something you cooked in, and coke was something you drank on hot summer days!”

“When I was your age, we didn’t have Amazon Prime. If we wanted something delivered, we had to wait for the Sears catalog to come out and show the delivery guy what we wanted.”

“I remember when TV screens were round, phones had cords, and the internet was just a rumor. Ah, the good old days!”

“Back in my day, you didn’t need fancy gadgets to count your steps. We just went outside and walked until we couldn’t feel our legs anymore!”

“You see this cane? It’s not just for show. I whacked Mussolini with it in ’43 and I’ll do it again if I have to!”

“I used to be a daredevil, you know. I broke every bone in my body and I loved it. Now I’m lucky if I can break wind!”

“Abe Simpson’s the name, hand-me-down stories are my game. Gather ’round, kids, and I’ll take you on a wild ride through my glory days!”

“When I was your age, we didn’t have auto-tune. We had to sing in tune or suffer the wrath of our music teachers. Those were dark times.”

“You think walking to school in the snow is tough? When I was a boy, we had to walk ten miles uphill, both ways, in blazing heat and pouring rain, while being chased by dinosaurs!” STRATEGIC PLANNING QUOTES FAMOUS

“I believe the children are our future, and I’m terrified of the future!”

“When I was your age, we didn’t have diets. We just ate whatever we wanted and hoped the doctor didn’t tell us we were gonna keel over any day now.”

“I’ve lived through two World Wars, three recessions, and two reality TV stars becoming presidents. Nothing surprises me anymore.”

“You know you’re getting old when your back goes out more often than you do!”

“Back in my day, ‘green’ was just a color, ‘organic’ was just a word in the dictionary, and ‘climate change’ was something we changed by adjusting the thermostat.”

“I remember when fast food was just a myth. We used to have to wait hours for a meal, and we were grateful for it!”

“The secret to a long life is lots of laughter, plenty of naps, and an endless supply of prunes!”

“I’ve seen it all, done it all, and then forgotten most of it. Age has its perks!”

“Remember, kids, the early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten by the bird. So maybe just sleep in!”

“I’ve lived through countless fashion trends, and let me tell you, they all come back around eventually. So don’t throw away those bell-bottoms just yet!”

“When I was your age, we didn’t have virtual reality. We had real reality, and it was terrifying!”

“I used to be a spring chicken, but now I’m more of a mashed potato.”

“If life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your enemy’s eyes and run like hell!”

“Remember kids, with age comes wisdom. And sometimes, with age comes forgetfulness, hearing loss, and an irritable bladder.”