BRILLIANT FUNNY QUOTES

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.”

“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.”

“I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop annoying me.”

“I may be quiet, but I have so much on my mind. You have no idea.”

“Pro tip: Never trust someone who doesn’t like tacos.”

“Why be moody when you can shake your booty?”

“I don’t have a bad handwriting, I just have my own font.”

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.”

“I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.”

“Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.”

“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”

“I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.”

“Who needs a Prince Charming when you can have a pizza delivery guy?” THIRSTY THURSDAY QUOTES SAYINGS

“I don’t sweat, I sparkle.”

“I don’t need a personal trainer as long as there are stairs.”

“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”

“I got 99 problems, but a beach ain’t one.”

“I’m not a coffee addict, I’m just a morning person who enjoys caffeine.”

“I’m not shy, I’m just highly selective with my social interactions.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.”

“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”

“I’m naturally funny, someone just stole my jokes.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”

“I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.”