![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDZVRjR0MnFOMzdsS3NUUVV4SVpTcXIxQ0k1NzBHNkNSdFBQUVYvVDI4dEIvTkZtNkJGQ2dhRDRZSThjN21rMHM5dXI4Zm41ZjJxU3NXTkFNa2RRQVpJQzlPWjZXblRQS3pNMGpFVWxldDV2bXFicmZVUU8wTE1LcldwV1JFNWhXYURodUJWdy9tYkhKbEVNWDl0cGt3PQ%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(461dd468432437007d601713b08d01f0).jpg)
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVm9qajFWVnZSNERxa3F4ZXJ0TXBUV1p1dzZlejBvK0hVYi9CWlRQRExrMDMwSmhkYlRFc0FTN0luSXFGeUZKYS8xSU1EeWQzRDZ2dktnRjhORmJSeUJWUXhLMkh1N1N5RTBnMyt2T2V2UFJZQWpuTDR0djNMUVZadHVUWXpwUlQ0YVZRSlpRU3JQK2tlUWpLQ3RVRHE4TDlNMktBOGt6dktRWHFTcStmYytq/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(5e6106799bf1722b83d67daa73117324).jpg)
“Santa saw your Instagram pictures, you’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZXlQNmZCbE5pTWxtcWpZaTV1QWh0Yi9PdFRRY0xOci83Ty94L1h3dzVEWVpwTFNYM3gwOWVocG1BMzAwb25maEdSRWJFYjlnM2M2SktuZ0ZPa0EwQlFzMGRRdmc3L0cwMitmd3VjMHN5MEY4SW5kUHlSNGc5elRkcTJPZ0ExZTJOMFd2ZXk3cVMrVlZxVmp3SWtEVzV2/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(87b9f214cd6868f7a43c4d2c11378efa).jpg)
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” – Unknown
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“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pY21WdW0yY2ZtdVR4MkdSYlNJR0RTZ2FPc3d5OXUxbUo4TlROWTd0TDhuZmFkMVV1U01IZVFNOU0zQU8rMHpFdWpEcnRQNHFCaFh1akc0Umx3d25uRURJY0FRa3M3aHQ3ZnRNN1YvVjN4RGpkZXQ3Z2xrU0NyV3ZkbWRtK3VFVm55ZXhoWTE2UWUxZjF4L2llcjdYeTlG/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(be751511a7359ad83161d667cd161e15).jpg)
“Christmas: The only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.” – Unknown
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“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pZlZBU041OXVma3pSS0c2SFduMUxUV2FseWNnMklySEwzcGxqUk1LV052aDVFNmV0NzM0N0F5bW8wakExRm9yYldRNisxUnJyc0s3UU1jUVY0Mjd4dlBuUW9iV0JSMUgvcExZYXdxNFl2QVJlVVhycG1LK2M0WU10dVJMa3M5aDdVPQ%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(4cb30db0c6e195dc71abb91fe3adec44).jpg)
“Christmas cookies and happy hearts, this is how the holiday starts.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZDdOK0Y0ejYzQWtWZnhRbVdjSlpmQ1JOcW9udUdEd0h3dXB5Q3prUXdJSmhhRklDaWhLVjFoTWpXU3gybmdESmdKcUVvekVuZ01kZjJHUFNCTTloWlJPMGpadk54MGpuWFlNRExuOW9WOExCTmdhTUNSWTRYMTA5MHA1ektBazBKQk82SkRGUzZMemxxaE05cmpuNUlQVU50TUpHcWljeVhJQXNZWDE2anUw/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(73ef52c3d521641708385f93c3b2ce6e).jpg)
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVUg4OTlQYm1Xc0NIb2hPY1BtN2QrZ0dPYW81UEFlL2dIMDFNRjlkaFJXSlYrRHFCdFkvNHFBLzJzdmJjN2MrTXVFZjd3d2lkcXhEd3Vjc2dlSHFqRlNFWDg3VDg0Z1BETUxEMEZyRWZwbDNtZmdrTW5oUW91ZUxMT1FjdzFjQTllSkNLVzJrWlhvdlcrUUtkVTl3M1pRUVRNYzNCOHlsQUtPc21BdXhNbG5M/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(046986fa7811271e811f891cc52ffde7).jpg)
“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNVZWYWoxNkJVcnlNdHhtdXNpT2dFZ3drQ2lRczh2KytsS1RqRGpwMWZmNGlVNnR2QTFYT29jQWpuZldnaDFrUUEyd1F4a3BuUzRBYk52UDJQWkVHODljMzhpbnVmUWVVdFZrZ0JzTG4weUVqK2hkcVNLdGZDWnZmczViZmpCeEN3T29uLzNHV1QrQlVnOXJ5NUZBbi9H/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(452d8e1485803f81c33d8ae5da1e8b22).jpg)
“Why did Santa go to music school? Because he wanted to improve his wrapping skills!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1ErNldUQm00dE94Q25FcytNc2UvRzlsMVZnOW1DeG9tUkc0MnMwQkR2OTVJQ1FXdW1zcFhBcVgzNDNHeVBIci9ZQ2twSEh1RzhxbmZiWEZMTzlaVGdjWENyd2UrMTB5SlJDRzhGd1h5b0Z6aHVDQUdIQ0NyQUhFTytQM0FSTWp3PT0%3D/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(5e7da457998d6da9edd7fc70357619a7).jpg)
“Don’t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pZm1tYW1ZNWw3b2docUxFVVY1SWtrTTN3RktqRkhDVzZibDM3S2VOZGUrSnltU0pQUmlZdjgrMXhqTCtYN2h0TEswVm56bU1wcEhhQ3VEME1UcFYzSkp0OUQ4WVdoOW9hWDRYTzNUbVE4THZTZ011VlZEWHNxNzMvTDJtNGlZL3d3RzZsR1JNQ3lJTTVDcy9nNVZsc041bHZsT25xZ0ZFNmRCRTQ2SHgzeUZMeE5UQnppM0tCR2ExblFuUGJJcSsyRT0%3D/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(769e0a1abd1b0f35f2961fbba2b42234).jpg)
“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” – Unknown I WANT MY FAMILY BACK QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDaVVKd2tBcEloUkU0ZFVqY0txVHcxSG1ybG9sZzBaM2JZSjNOQWp1b21JdUpVYjVVMWZVMnJoV2M1WFZJSCtpWGJjOHdiZUhRRDB4ZkRpREIzQktEb1BqY0ljSmI4UXNvTTkxWGNES3JUODMvZEg3Q3kydXBKV1paa3pTQVBxUEpPUFJpaFNrOUg5TVV6Y3c4QllMRnJS/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(7a181e4348bf12f23716540995505de2).jpg)
“The only fruitcake that would be a pleasure to receive is one made entirely of chocolate.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXN0cHFIUk1KWCtGVk5oa2VxNG9vcXU1R2cxUC9USHE3d3Z5citYZHI4U0haWnc1STdlbGFrOWY5QTRYV296TnhVVjh2eXlvRVBGOWFzaXJzaE5HdGtUT0VjanpWbWh4Y2QwZ3doRXpVdXVVZTFqT2dqQlNvQWYrd1ViNFRSQWxXQlJEV1BxZnRNazc3U2xSd0hyRWkvRUVXNUQzUWJ1MVhVZHJNbkR5SC9mY3dqK0g1cVpPU0d0V1pFSkwwTVhsMlhWQWJRaFd1TytZRWJ2cFVSYU9OQT0%3D/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(a4714591745e31c8334d9e5781861a51).jpg)
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear… or by farting in crowded shopping malls.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pZDk0TXVQaTZaMG5oM1dwWnRCOXVheGNCbHFnakdweEZXUmRHeGhuSkNXaTBhaFduSnNEV3hkT0xzVlcxV1p0aTd2NnpienJldE1xTFRrS3ZkNWVSMGJvcmZud3VYTHpOZ0dZTE5FVXpvdWVRPT0%3D/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(1390edb480270e8011732d6a67cc0a59).jpg)
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU3N5UUpWTCtId0hEeElpdVhYRUpHUFM0SHRjT2R4OHJHa3M1ZnJGa2VtUjg4amxEdzFMZmExVnNJNEZpQ2kxWTRLL3d2bjRhRnJldmpXUStkOWVjbGl3N1NRbEpNQk1DU3BzTENpa1F2cmZaVEVTTjMvT201QlRtRHZwM3dUd2VCVnJ2T1FyampaVEQzUkllM3lNSCtVNDRWemVvT2l3eEY5OXhzTVNhN2pz/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(c62e7e639865ded72d492816b7a596ad).jpg)
“I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk, and he put a solar panel in my stocking.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVmJVV1lXdjVhK25FSWNnU1B1QUlKWlFtK3p4Q2FIRndZNUhvSFdXQW1MUGFvTEtUTUdqcUJMcE9lSG9oTHhUVnZPMEU1WWhQcmkzU3lHM0liOEVlS0hKMGdTUnBqWGc5czBhMFdoR1RlT090NGpIdVdKUkljcFNKa01UZi9sR2tES1FuZnRabG5lUUVaV3dCUFpQcCtFPQ%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(cb8a83148549b3194793a2a0d7ddd3e8).jpg)
“The awkward moment when Santa Claus has the same wrapping paper as your parents.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pZGFwSGcyOEd0cVRDc0s0K0ZvRWphUGU0V091clRkWktDeE9PUjNpNHNyVzRpSFpCNEhPRUFVdCt3THNNK2pvZ29kVCtNSDhsZlVSTTI4YmxaMTlDNy9OVU84NEtYVkZRSVIyK1JveWlNd0lxNy9yRlBZZzRmV2ZwS3dYOUg0WDhJPQ%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(2ecfd977a1495e376f1845e971e12922).jpg)
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Jimmy Fallon
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZElLOUxXUmd4cnd3MktaQ1Z1UnFpQWtLZmxab0lmdVZHZDE1amc4bm83SWkrQU80R0ZYNWNWY0FoTGNvR0I4MW9oMWNiL2JBbFprdVVMZGRBZFNWQjRKOE5vZlVhR0dGbFI0ZHNNa0lRT1cvV1ZQWGFTbnYvUXJUbnRndUdXZGYwRFdNUDNCMGRZeWhWOGkvYnc3elczTHRQblJxbkw5V1hQc1hJOGp6WW5Mdz09/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(16ea54c908684e6e7308db2ebaaa64fa).jpg)
“I’m not saying your Christmas decorations are tacky, but Clark Griswold called and wants his lights back.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pY01oZERBSFNNaWIzN3htNEUxNDZaemQyS3JydXBkdlhYMXV6SUcxajBBcDNiYlBNWDd0ZzR5YU90eGhTUUhCZ2QySmlhbzVUaHZDVFh0OHRPNHlVTHVrOUp3Sk1lZnpUSkVmUjA2T09IeVBkdEtrckF1eVpHVUtJTU5FS2lRNWt0VG50dVZSejZQZnpTMnVoYW5TMEtvSThRSGwzZkJwZXpEczNEUkNtTTJLdz09/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(e61fa928e2e95cfc189ebb1ba44dd299).jpg)
“Christmas is a time to count your blessings, and then re-count them because you ate too much turkey.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pZVVxVk9ZeEVBL1ZSczBnWmpaeHVRZXh4Ujl1VnpNM3pqemlGb2RYbXJjMmNtZitDVzR4QWU3SzlXK0hOMHRIRU50dzM4WEQxV2I4NzZKdVdndk16bmhpMCszWGdVMWE0L1MzcEpnYUtTZVN0ZXFyaDRITVFiSEJ1MTR0TU8xU01GeXMzaWJCV1lDTU53S1F1aWdtTkk0/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(e7b4ab694776067ed36a11505e11f6ea).jpg)
“Christmas: The time of year when you put on your swag and let your diet fall off the wagon.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVUZaZmgyRHV0MisrRUovd3A5SlNDdkVmNCtkN0t6NHZ4VnVjdkhObFZjMy9jM20yUnNtYVN3aWFrSWpGeEt0cWQ1cVBCYmRFbXZqb0J6ZndHZGNJN2dXSHpKQ1lBbGlBUm5rOFkzRFZ2alB2UHF6MHc5cktNZWx0dk0yenl2c1RQcUtDZVBCMHJzR2xYWnlmSlZrVTV3V3dqRWEvdW1zR013MVJmUE1lTndUd0MvcFk5em9ZK3htcU15bTBKdHQvR0xzUFoyNHpFeVRaWTdGV0NhUVd3dz0%3D/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(352bfac13e198198cc2ce128c7b9bb4b).jpg)
“Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own presents.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pZm1tYW1ZNWw3b2docUxFVVY1SWtrTTN3RktqRkhDVzZibDM3S2VOZGUrSnltU0pQUmlZdjgrMXhqTCtYN2h0TEswVm56bU1wcEhhQ3VEME1UcFYzSkp0OUQ4WVdoOW9hWDRYTzNUbVE4THZTZ011VlZEWHNxNzMvTDJtNGlZL3d4QUczUzA1UDgrcStwZG14cXJNWjQ2/CHRISTMAS+QUOTE+FUNNY/(fe2a47646625f588773b8237e92bb904).jpg)
“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” – Unknown