CHRISTMAS QUOTE FUNNY

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson

“Santa saw your Instagram pictures, you’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.” – Unknown

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” – Unknown

“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.” – Unknown

“Christmas: The only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.” – Unknown

“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present.” – Unknown

“Christmas cookies and happy hearts, this is how the holiday starts.” – Unknown

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin

“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar

“Why did Santa go to music school? Because he wanted to improve his wrapping skills!” – Unknown

“Don’t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.” – Unknown

“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” – Unknown I WANT MY FAMILY BACK QUOTES

“The only fruitcake that would be a pleasure to receive is one made entirely of chocolate.” – Unknown

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear… or by farting in crowded shopping malls.” – Unknown

“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz

“I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk, and he put a solar panel in my stocking.” – Unknown

“The awkward moment when Santa Claus has the same wrapping paper as your parents.” – Unknown

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Jimmy Fallon

“I’m not saying your Christmas decorations are tacky, but Clark Griswold called and wants his lights back.” – Unknown

“Christmas is a time to count your blessings, and then re-count them because you ate too much turkey.” – Unknown

“Christmas: The time of year when you put on your swag and let your diet fall off the wagon.” – Unknown

“Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own presents.” – Unknown

“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” – Unknown