CHRISTMAS SPIRIT QUOTES FUNNY

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” – Unknown

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Buddy, Elf

“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz

“Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks.” – Unknown

“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.” – Unknown

“The awkward moment when Santa accidentally leaves the price tag on your gift.” – Unknown

“Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Once in a while. Nevermind, I’ll buy my own stuff.” – Unknown

“The Santa Claus we all know and love is actually a misrepresentation. In reality, Santa is a chubby, old man who doesn’t care what you want for Christmas.” – Unknown

“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar

“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney

“The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants.” – John Andrew Holmes SELF DISCOVERY JOURNEY QUOTES

“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” – Henny Youngman

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple

“The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” – Johnny Carson

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson

“Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The ELF-abet!” – Unknown

“Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.” – Anonymous

“Do you know why Santa Claus is always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.” – Unknown

“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.” – Unknown

“Santa saw your Instagram pictures. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.” – Unknown

“Who needs snowflakes when you have seashells?” – Unknown

“You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle tangled Christmas lights. I find myself laughing… just a little bit.” – Unknown