![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUnFyTWYyQzRzUXZ0c093V0FTWTFCQWR4VlhBeWhTQmtxNVpWb3JmLzZZYktuSkR5a1ZndFEyYUdvZC8yd2Z4QU8zL2M4NTlvT0ExN2lWSHl4WmVBSm5XWk5yeTV0TjlmaGUyNnprdGRTUExKM0Q2NHdHUGZWSE1UaVhQd0Fmc0VaQ1k0RXZ3UlRwU3lSeGRXMWQ1RnNvPQ%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(88b221ea3a69032f0cfd9c566805eed8).jpg)
“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUVdjVDJ4dmhNOStFSVBNb0RLMjJ0azlHU1BlQkd6VVNxUzNaTG85RXoyeHhzSVlTOHdhTFBsbzRWVmV6UUdUditJdnNLZG5yZ0E0QUZXZXhGc0UvV2N0M1ZaRVhqYkREWVVRdjFRMW1QY1RoMmcrTjJPNmc1czBGYnppcTdvVkJ5N1dQM3k3TFcvRWlOVCtPaDdFaHNjcXVTR252MFFOUzQ3VUMrb2o3a2ow/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a10ed829c4feebaf203f38bc0b07db48).jpg)
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZDdOK0Y0ejYzQWtWZnhRbVdjSlpmQ1JOcW9udUdEd0h3dXB5Q3prUXdJSklFWEdENll6YTI4SXBSQXBXVXg4MDJvS3lncHorWXRicEpPQ1liMHZTSnhJVnZybTNZdDhhNkNWUVM4OE1yVkpFbXQzYjNYU2hZdWtXZTJGSHg5OEthWStERDk4UlBySFBRZEFzR3VSZEYrOXpsZ0tlYitNcDRtZkw1bWJ6MWpB/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c9acee6e13c691af797f93a65333fe66).jpg)
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXN0cHFIUk1KWCtGVk5oa2VxNG9vcXU1R2cxUC9USHE3d3Z5citYZHI4U0haWnc1STdlbGFrOWY5QTRYV296TnhVVjh2eXlvRVBGOWFzaXJzaE5HdGxyNno4YzFTSkFNUkJ3dFJFNExjZzdCZndjd0ZqdzVVUGZlT3I3aHVOYVVoR0E1U3pzclhmVjNqMkdPYWVmYlBJPQ%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(1fa6264d20d41b2f3a6b547e07fc2823).jpg)
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Buddy, Elf
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pZDk0TXVQaTZaMG5oM1dwWnRCOXVheGNCbHFnakdweEZXUmRHeGhuSkNXaTBhaFduSnNEV3hkT0xzVlcxV1p0aTd2NnpienJldE1xTFRrS3ZkNWVSMGJvcmZud3VYTHpOZ0dZTE5FVXpvdWVRPT0%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(1390edb480270e8011732d6a67cc0a59).jpg)
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pZk5kU0Y5TlhEdkVOUlN3YlFla0pBTHRNamZlNldBUEtOWWlSMS9icXFmd3ZORkFsUkd2S0hZSUJtOXl1Q2Q0a3Mya2RBaUd3cHJRRGlyK3M2bHF4NEFSSmo1aWFkYzB2bWJIa1R3ekVoUDVISlZTMUtDczE3TEZCamxBSW54aXhTMWNKZCthUndjNUFwTU05aExzeDhq/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e629d92b2f89137214f55a4c08c9d555).jpg)
“Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYmRsak1kODIycWFmS3o4QnBocGFWUU03Nmw3VXdZeHE3NWNGQjlEYTY4QmdWSEl3eW5EMFBiT0ZwNnBISkpLcmdZelJvVU1pVHJsZi9qa1JFckdpdUI2eHc3cFU4ZXdwdHBZeEZ5cUF5cmk%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(8d8cd849062b6932107821c04f9ca50e).jpg)
“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVmJVV1lXdjVhK25FSWNnU1B1QUlKWlFtK3p4Q2FIRndZNUhvSFdXQW1MUHhwQmx6Y1ZjL1dKRDBIK09WNmhtTmlObzFIaDBaSjkzWWxESDB1L3RBU0g3RHdkNFV6b2tGZUV0RG5IaTh3SyszUnhINXBjcDVYbi9ZNXVUelMzRi9VU1UwRHRJbG9Qckg4cFZBOC9Qd3VnPQ%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(1d5f664758cad987e4b0ca2b63617091).jpg)
“The awkward moment when Santa accidentally leaves the price tag on your gift.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVUZaZmgyRHV0MisrRUovd3A5SlNDc0RJU3QrblhuZnl4a2xzVW9mOHdXSmVjSXV2R2VXeWpzc2pnaWhUc3g2bUpicWdZMVZyR3puR1pERnIyWnYrUDh1NjUyWHpuUTUveW55Q3Z0ZVNBUjlmbVhSaG54QTNWSHVqU1Z6QS9BQUdEaTFxd1dWSlc0aUVZazY0V1BEUGVpSFU2Z3g2TnFGQUdsQkdraVBudUhSbTRrN3lTSDZqRVE2UFBqR1JOMnZzOFlIVUxPb1c2aU5ERE1iMjlNcTQrRT0%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a334a17214bd70d16c594af02b61c793).jpg)
“Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Once in a while. Nevermind, I’ll buy my own stuff.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYzFzQVZ0VDJDNTFMVFlUeWtSUC9WYkJqbFNzdVpQMjdEenBnQWxZMEtjYVJKR1Y3RmtyaUNLbjhZblR0NHRNQzB0cmhUdkJFTXNMMWlFS0svd0JVOGt6dWtzdWFVTWNOOGlRR21UWlh4QnRBcXdrK3BwQ0cvdHQ4RjhYOEJ5L21YdFkveGdkMURGVElTYWY5eC9DZjRHcHhtNldrb1k5UytkTnFZR0hJaC9pNDRPSHc5VU11WGtLY1ZtbnN6dHR6dFJXVVlvYVZGLzlrbkFoNnZBekhZVmRFV2hzSUNBQUIxVFlac096Tm1COFBmbTA0VHZlOUhudkRWUThkdWMyTXc9PQ%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(ff865c344957086371ef36b72ed4c1b5).jpg)
“The Santa Claus we all know and love is actually a misrepresentation. In reality, Santa is a chubby, old man who doesn’t care what you want for Christmas.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVUg4OTlQYm1Xc0NIb2hPY1BtN2QrZ0dPYW81UEFlL2dIMDFNRjlkaFJXSlYrRHFCdFkvNHFBLzJzdmJjN2MrTXVFZjd3d2lkcXhEd3Vjc2dlSHFqRlNFWDg3VDg0Z1BETUxEMEZyRWZwbDNtZmdrTW5oUW91ZUxMT1FjdzFjQTllSkNLVzJrWlhvdlcrUUtkVTl3M1pRUVRNYzNCOHlsQUtPc21BdXhNbG5M/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(046986fa7811271e811f891cc52ffde7).jpg)
“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVTYzSFZEaGh6SE9FWXVBMVcyVTZHaFpQOGg2VFZZaTd4TUdBaFQzYVhUWVRjZlNyaGxmUUJtcmMvQWR4a2QxY2ZZVnFmcVgvK2hPdmlGT2c5R0s1WDRlZVhxN3drNE9ycUZyZHR0RU1RdVp3SVo2cEtXSDBieTdJWVMvbllPLy9MNXdlT1VkZkNOQk9LdEZ5cUd0dU5zY200NjU4T3RKbUJEV0txaEdMc083aDdja1lrTGhXK1hua2pmOGpSM2FkY1IrbkJPOHZJTTRjUUtaT0FIMXBqT1k4a2lpOVdabStJcUQxTFk5YVIrNw%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0f2d16965d67ad5b6429867aa4c75906).jpg)
“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFJic2pRczNOaTBJL3ZBOTV4N09xNVNBZGZXZk1BNXJ3ZGl6N0pKMW5mc2loejhGWVNDZXhFckd3ZEx3RkRCam1Md3ArbmRrR2ZwYm12MzA2VGV2QnhjQmIvWWRmc3gyaXl0OE1sTFlRZXBCUi9yVXoyVVNrYWhUUDJlVkNXMDdBcC9MMXFoYWl1Ri8xTUdyaXNiLzJvQ0ZDWHp3VW5raDZuNERId2s1aUwvMVJ3YXNxSTNoeGs5RE1USmZNaERZRWJMYnVyZUI5TFcvSlpjQW9VYWxnWUpxMkQ2UHdMVUY5cGpZWVJqQUlSZw%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(97e2e03a1357c53bff88a7813e5e95f4).jpg)
“The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants.” – John Andrew Holmes SELF DISCOVERY JOURNEY QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVmJ2c0Y3bGRQRDZtV2N1TEdOVThrdHFzbmFHMG5uU3ZTZXFGWEZmaTIycTFrL2toajJZNDYrSEppSzdtaHR3QzV2bHh3c3ArV2NYTjRnSTkySGR3OHFYN1gzQzZYZ1FTWUU0L1Y1VmJNWXJqRXFZdm5Vb1ZrUTVoblVYQ1RyNC96OVVoYXhrVUV6ZU9ZcGp2clJpNXZIdy83UGg0enNuMTJNNjZiYWtRaHEy/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(763d9c42fb0530bb356aade721882ef3).jpg)
“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” – Henny Youngman
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWtxUkROSWtJcXVRRGdYdE04bGxtRiswTUR2OFlvYTlKdG9leUd1N1d6MXA4T0hhZjFBTisrRU80cVV4YlJHQlBzem9QeVkxak1YMXZZeUQ4c0tXczEwVEVNR3IyRFlkakk5elZ6RGZKYkwreUlPT05lbkw3bE1OZENwU3lrdk03OUg2Wk5ub0VWeUhSK3pwTy9NNGtjU1dWdlRNK2FvVFFEdTZtRGFmVkdMK0UwSm9VU1E3WWFTVnNxN3I2cEFIS2pUSVR2cTJHNjJIS0hnL2hXbm1raTdXeTU0OWp6d1Rqc2wzYUhYR0JoZQ%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(9bb0c74853df06014afabb63ec7af933).jpg)
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjRkWGZHN0VDK2Z5S1BxeUVyeVF4RGNDekJYTk51TGNrZFJteTlpN0ZXNXdvR3VOS200VnZQWjlVWHhOcEJsV1d4cm1Xd3pBYjQxR3AybkdoRTZwV1NqMmNCa241U0ZwQzZJWFVyTUJ4dGwvZFJ4QzVHYWxscWNMbm9wNlJCeEtYM3lKdlhaKytKdjBoTnpmRGcvaHJHNVU3UWZJc2FkanRUUHlBbGI4THBaaFVSWkRWVmx0TWM5MndkZUtmMWFzM0xXaS9aRC8vb1hjU0hLZHJQUzF3OD0%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e43f9a71d7713121d517a1404e740e0d).jpg)
“The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” – Johnny Carson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pZGFwSGcyOEd0cVRDc0s0K0ZvRWphUGU0V091clRkWktDeE9PUjNpNHNyVzRpSFpCNEhPRUFVdCt3THNNK2pvZ29LRmNQaGpJZFR1VSs3Q1hLb1ZCZFRWamxtOS91VnhlSDFJNzk5TXY3K1VrSGVNdENRd3BzVW5oUmxTQUxOeGY4PQ%3D%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(91feb687a9f28d096c314ed41bfd877b).jpg)
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXVOTnZkek5kdklRQVI5Z1ZFU3lRMERvblZPRGkwNDRyYWpqVS9MLzNzenFMKzgxRURQYWJQNVNwVlc5OEJLUGJ3KzNCb2FoSGgvWWoxVVhWWVRYWWp6aU5JL2NtRmIyR2ZoVFFtWTcwUzZmRnFvdlp6SDB4Z0w1cDdDQjRpM2lnPT0%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(107ec49416a1b02cab51be77219498b8).jpg)
“Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The ELF-abet!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1VrQjhvMDJKcXVpOFA1aktQSE9pZEc4a0RGZnVzb1l5d0xDRDl4VWUwanNsTE51bkRNeGoxZ2dFUStDaXdzMWNZRms0MGp2WThFWDdzUE94b1VVMklkcWtqK3NiZngrVXZwWDB1ZVRtMDJRcG1EUDlQRkZwcFJIMUhkMUZBc2JrSVI4a3lvYWkxcWNhKzRHTDhUdUpaNmJGR29KbXlCdW1jN25VVVNvVHRQ/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(9660a37a267c32faee7c831494116d6d).jpg)
“Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYWFPRUdOaENGVWMwZTFmV2NzRWhrKzloamcvM2FzNGIxZnR2NFM3bHF4MFRndVdWOVRpcFQwdW4rWFdVRldZR1NsbkFlT1I4dFJQTm1UeWZKV0dGczBOMUhodzVWK28wcW1ieWI1akxRbVNTT2JWVkJ0TlJ6Q1BXZmlOS1I3RXBHL0ovRWJNMEUrWEpLKzdJYkRObE1EN2FRc3dtNGh5Ky9rTDA0Y2phczltNmFGL0lZZXZVRVY4ZFdRTzVPak84dz09/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6ba614703f5b8d2810e6aabbf89a5c1a).jpg)
“Do you know why Santa Claus is always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkkvd2NzZDUxRnllS0F4RnNVS3J1ZFV0VVhpRG5DNzNPeVNadzlCUkVsU0tRZTdWZWloU2dBWlVXUkxrWGVkd2x4NVBpY0VKRmprb3RNVlRYNjl2UnI4bThucGdZVDBuUXg3eStQTzdZR0tHTktsS1lka29iRVlmOHVoTVpKaitMZTVZeDYrdkVyeGtaR0FnWXY3OVRtVWs4UzlkcmZmU1ZJbWZ6RTlPM3M3cW1YdnVHbzEwZkRKNngzUlVUWDZXdz09/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0cad318771a898ec42e55c48804b105c).jpg)
“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVm9qajFWVnZSNERxa3F4ZXJ0TXBUV1p1dzZlejBvK0hVYi9CWlRQRExrMHk3aWJCOFlKTXpJQUxFVTA3aTJYbWI4VTlsdFc2RjA2L3ljd2JLd0MxbFh0aUpHdG9HSjJNelBVRDArdzJsTkxWTkROSk5xTWlHSlBET1QwdmM5bGluek5VaGk1UktGY3piVWQrVjJpQzFKWjRSN1J2V3M1cDJCMnNLTWNxRTc3/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b997a7bacc0f4c052426fbf48ddb853b).jpg)
“Santa saw your Instagram pictures. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWk4vNFVXMnZYcU9PZGVmaXZTejcwenBhWnkyZXJkZkdsMjRVZWVBYjl0b2ZEU3pQeEwwd0lGelI0L2k5VW1BdWlDUW00NDFDb2JycHBERWI0RFB5cXJTREhXamJ3bHZxRUdGUENzY3l5ZDM%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(ad255cfed30763781dbc279c430b5324).jpg)
“Who needs snowflakes when you have seashells?” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZmJuaXVHMHMxWkxZY1VOQWxIakdaM2VHaHVIS2liUXgwOFNPM3lyempaOU84alczMnkrL3NFNStXYnI0MVZsY1VEUTVVQlg3elRmN2x3QnZrUzFDdHQ4b0QvLzdmajN1VjBnU1JqZTJLc28wMTNXd0w1Zm9CaE5tRWMrZDBJaWJXZ09MV0Ryakd5eDVCSnA0T0h3VFFBc1ZaTDhiVWdhOGN1Z3FIaGw1ODNQYzFYaU5VZFJzei94QmxiNUFuK3l4dVpBUHh3R2pOVXlIT2lTZkM5Rk1vbz0%3D/CHRISTMAS+SPIRIT+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e8b0ec5cd7a5c92da8210ba24194806f).jpg)
“You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle tangled Christmas lights. I find myself laughing… just a little bit.” – Unknown