DR QUOTES FUNNY

“The doctor said a glass of wine a day is good for my heart. The bottle is under my bed, just doing my part for a healthy heart!”

“Who needs a doctor when you have Google and a strong imagination? I’ve diagnosed myself with at least five rare diseases already.”

“I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places!”

“My doctor told me I need to exercise. I told him I already do – I walk to the fridge for snacks!”

“My doctor gave me some advice for a healthy lifestyle: ‘Just avoid anything that has the word ‘fried’ in it.’ So now I eat my French fries naked.”

“I hate going to the doctor. They always ask if I’m sexually active, and I respond with ‘Not willingly’.”

“I went to the doctor and he told me to quit drinking, smoking, and partying. I told him I’m not a quitter, so I switched doctors!”

“My doctor told me I should watch my drinking. So now I drink in front of a mirror – I know my limits!”

“The doctor told me I have a very rare condition called ‘amnesia’. I don’t remember much about it though.”

“I went to the doctor and said, ‘It hurts when I do this.’ He replied, ‘Then don’t do that!’ Well, thanks Dr. Obvious!”

“My doctor said I need to watch my cholesterol. So now I only eat foods with invisible cholesterol – you know, the healthy kind!”

“My doctor asked me if I consumed too much alcohol. I told him I’m more of a connoisseur!”

“I asked my doctor how long I have left to live. He told me he wouldn’t answer that question unless I paid him upfront!” QUOTES AND PICS ABOUT LIFE

“The doctor asked me if I had trouble sleeping. I said, ‘No, I can do it with my eyes closed!'”

“The doctor told me I need to exercise regularly. So now I’m training to run away from my bills!”

“My doctor told me I should lose some weight, so I started eating on a smaller plate. Now I feel like a giant!”

“My doctor told me to avoid stress, so I stopped reading my bank statements. Problem solved!”

“My doctor told me laughter is the best medicine. So, I gave him my hospital bill and he laughed.”

“I asked my doctor if I could stop using my asthma inhaler. He said, ‘Suck it up!'”

“I asked my doctor if I could treat my illness with natural remedies. He said, ‘Sure, as long as you don’t mind dying naturally too!'”

“My doctor said I have a vitamin D deficiency. I told him it’s because I get all my sunshine from the light of my refrigerator!”

“I told my doctor I had memory problems. He told me to pay in advance!”

“I went to the doctor and he asked me if I had a family history of insanity. I said, ‘No, they all seem to enjoy it!'”

“My doctor told me I need plenty of rest. So now I’m training to be a professional napper!”