![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TVHBOQkY3YjNuRkVKRkxlOXZ0dkl0emw1M1FBMy9BdStkY1lZM1RWOUdwREFDWWEyaDR6M3l0YnJ5TkMxZXY2K2V4bmNlbDRhNE5UOXNpNFJZbUVhWk5XeGpCU1hBV2xDa0pjd0tEdWJsVUNqSEJ0cjlCZU5KMnZCQXZHRWlwdVdjPQ%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6f7c36569eee58648a0d32bea575b1d3).jpg)
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFFUMUtIRUpQUE16aDhxaGxGazk2VkFKNTFxMlVpeHRWU0tZQ1g5T3pxb2c4d2pzQXNnbHoxeVp1VHdzM0xWd0xKM1ZDbE9NK2tyUnZiQjg4U0NqdVN3VkVMVkxLYXFUaGhXL0loQlVkcUtBPT0%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(62564ecc891a3a2016f1cfeddaf9a2df).jpg)
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZndkUnpSQjFQRU4wbVpPMDFCS3FCcnlUQWRuNVlGNmNuWHpIVFFTSDBWdWZRU3MyTWZDRmlnTVhhcFdwUGpqU0s%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7298b104e19fb40569bc0fd800372ba3).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFeHVIelJ4blF3K1hQbkNtcmcxeWlWMzByNlRnZXU1by8vbjVMYkJ5Vko5aEtrM2orcEFKbkNYNG1RZ3Y1UE44WTI5K3JmSGJxWXgrZEdDU2xmdC9TY2pvUmhmQ2g5YTFZNGdyRUY0eC9NcHg5RU9zT2pCeWE4ci9rWHR2b3hGa1EwPQ%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(38ca1a4687638935d3d73b2f08612923).jpg)
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2c3UyN2hIZGowOXVTWFBGWk5MRzhWZnZsWXRIdmhyUDhJZmVCSlpabEU5czlTZ3UrQkFYOVV4dXNCY3IzdzlZMldTWEIweGg3OFgxKzU0TkZTb0ZZb0UxMlRrWE5OU09xTVpXN1NjZ2VtRFVJMmh3Y0RuVmxhcEZmcWRaLzMxbFlsQ0UxWEw0Nzh6L1FpaWtaYi9kc3Nu/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(4a754de58a54f05a64d9d9fd9478e3ba).jpg)
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWW9XMmFkc09jYTR1Rmd4eThkVGNRdUw3MFJPK0tIc3NhdjdRVHBXRitXYnpyTG5TaEl0VWdRblZwTnFRWWtncWp0eGRhRklRUEdROVdNMGM1VVhKMGNpc2ZkYlJjSUxqZmM0MllLKzhMMG5nTzBCN21aeW4xU3VGbzB5MUY3cnlnPT0%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f08b7d4df5b506b43d74c69900e81698).jpg)
“Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUVdqNGJGbFR2RHBlYVgyT0RocHltM1ovN0w5RXE3UTZZZFcyMnIvTkVVM1MvVTcwa3MyM0h1Y204YlcyTGNZSjJjSFJyRG94K1dJRUZ6UlY4dDZjb1RFZ21hZ2dmelo4UFlrVVdTblFRSm9TNDI5RGJ5ajJKRzlNVVVuUmJMNGQ1b25qY1R1TXhtNzNrVElUVmhXWFkwPQ%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b7dcf2674d16eba90b7ff3f95a3226cd).jpg)
“Change is not a four-letter word…but often your reaction to it is!” – Jeffrey Gitomer
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVzQ0UTNsWFhYL1MrWElYMExXdzZ5eDg1TGNEeVJDRHZFT3JZU0ZmaWRseE5hdWdJS3U5azcyTFhmOFlDVzg0L29ZcmdwdnJ5SmdtcHRVVFdlWGV2Nk55eWw3c05IQXlGb0pVb1Yxem1XK0c%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d8a937d2d8bd3d593c82adc5ab495c91).jpg)
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight!” – Phyllis Diller
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVlVBR0tSbFJjVjBvQ0JqVllXd2dmejZsZGhydTl3TVVVVmc0YkNUQllmVDdCbXFtUld5VGdpTFlEb2VZUVFwVUprYWgwUDF2SEpQTVVlTTF4cTczQkNIeUtyS29ZVHhsS3hCbHNYOG01U2MyZWNWV3BmZ3AxMzBQMndlNU9zMTdJM3lPVUY5YVlJNUZ3TENsbDBqcDBnTXF3TEtnNE1XUGlnZXcwRGtoZ1EvY2RLVk1EM0g4eWlXMDZ5ZHFYVmd3QlNtZnN0M01DZ0ZDRWp0Q1hSc3AySlYvd1pFa0xtM0ZzTXlpZUVzVWRtKw%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b1b132a55077d83807aae21052931bf6).jpg)
“The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.” – Franklin P. Jones
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxYcnQveC9ic3RZZ2VOdEIzbWdFSVJoblY5QzlNM00ySTZ6ZXFCV0tlQlJIRHR3OVBDUW9VakFMOG15MmZFcjlBS3BqSGtBWW55c2IwUjluY2JxQk9NWHVvV0NHenNJbmFlNEt6TVJjbnpUV20vVTlDVTJROEhtek4zZTFPQ1lXL2VNN29sYm5wQXZ3cTBrMTB2SzBUUzl4a2Q1NG0vTCt3Y2JIMVBmNDBZ/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(44bf7f36caa4fb7d94aff7171930d348).jpg)
“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUQ3WUhkSHkyS2ZlczF3cXQrN3c3NW90aEFycTdYQVV4UmVubTBYcGdYMjEyaDVMQnkzZHN3aTg1ck1FcU55ODVaVFQvbWwrc3NDd1dETjhzL2g3KzZuWUp5N0RMM0lSRE1OVUlyQ0RrQlk%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(69b7d8a7b3e4a0ffdd6c7e3b4d8aab70).jpg)
“When nothing goes right, go left.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWTk3LzZwY0VuT1R0eDE1OStxQ3NUUi9Mc3IvZkc5aFgxcVAvVUVvL3VBeHB2Yy9Oa0diYTIrNXVXQjJDOCtCbUw1QnJ5UkU1dU9Va1RpalAzMEtBWVdMQ3NMcm5NSXcybllZQ1hhWXBHaW51cWprRDlXK1FRSUVCNnFUSTlQOVBCZTM2U3F1R0Q2T2Jock1XWVVENm9rPQ%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e07be772d87214a20669fb0d5ff3d684).jpg)
“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDZzBGV295c3NOa3gwNlRMYkYvUXNzblJRdjNGYU9tVmZHVmtGS0RHMGtNb3ZRUGlEYXp0YmFGK1FRZ05mNHByREgxQnlodEkvbE5jRTlubnhvYU1xQ29YcHEzbW9BYkMyRW4yTUYyS0s5czhNOUhGbFFQZDRHbkUxVHBxaWd0NytRPQ%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(10d37d8599470abbc2e7ef9163d2dc0e).jpg)
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWFdBOU5aVWNjZFQzUUF2c1hKc0sxa0dwcFJqdXl4ZHpJbVh0RUNNL255OWpoa2JhSUxXcHRwcUhxZG1EUGVMUGxlS3ZCZURVL05sN0VLSEZQdnAra3dsbFlad3laWFFHU2wvQmo3RzM0T0U4dngxeDNrWjZrYTZJQWZnbWVkcWdnPT0%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(bdde8a6c68d35d25591c74601d62f63a).jpg)
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXN0cHFIUk1KWCtGVk5oa2VxNG9vcUxKVTdLeDdEc2xGYzNNbTFTc0YvWDNDV09pek5MeHpESkpyQmF4OUUvWDVxMXpwS0FLd3o4SHFQS0g2ejNmcGVGU2IrMWdVU2RTeFY5TXYvTXphUnBsYXZoT2puMlFxaTNoWE5pV1Noc002a1RWczk5NU5jWThmaDZQbmRoQlRvbjlKWkluZWI0OFg2c1BOZXlKS0ZKUk53WlpvNWJ5TGtqbUtVRG1VY3V1SHREc0xqVlgydVVWaE1pMUExZllUcz0%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(563cb55c0224384390910887502553e2).jpg)
“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – H. V. Prochnow DRUG ADDICTION RECOVERY QUOTES AND SAYINGS
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFlaZ1ZuM1VERFZCMWJuWWVLWDkvTFNRM1FERGE4TTlhS3p2bHF1UHVJSGlRUXhlN21JWmdvK2tvc01HKzRMcDBwclZaVmpybmxDdVcyT1dUd0tsZm1YWHhMbTBWZEpMNmlMOU1tdWFuek5jamZmajFXQTFCbTBMcHVZa3Vpc1VVPQ%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(fc2e3060299f5445310279ab4142dea4).jpg)
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFFUMUtIRUpQUE16aDhxaGxGazk2VkFKNTFxMlVpeHRWU0tZQ1g5T3pxb2c4d2pzQXNnbHoxeVp1VHdzM0xWd0xKM1ZDbE9NK2tyUnZiQjg4U0NqdVN3VkVMVkxLYXFUaGhXL0loQlVkcUtBPT0%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(62564ecc891a3a2016f1cfeddaf9a2df).jpg)
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZndkUnpSQjFQRU4wbVpPMDFCS3FCcnlUQWRuNVlGNmNuWHpIVFFTSDBWdWZRU3MyTWZDRmlnTVhhcFdwUGpqU0s%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7298b104e19fb40569bc0fd800372ba3).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFeHVIelJ4blF3K1hQbkNtcmcxeWlWMzByNlRnZXU1by8vbjVMYkJ5Vko5aEtrM2orcEFKbkNYNG1RZ3Y1UE44WTI5K3JmSGJxWXgrZEdDU2xmdC9TY2pvUmhmQ2g5YTFZNGdyRUY0eC9NcHg5RU9zT2pCeWE4ci9rWHR2b3hGa1EwPQ%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(38ca1a4687638935d3d73b2f08612923).jpg)
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2c3UyN2hIZGowOXVTWFBGWk5MRzhWZnZsWXRIdmhyUDhJZmVCSlpabEU5czlTZ3UrQkFYOVV4dXNCY3IzdzlZMldTWEIweGg3OFgxKzU0TkZTb0ZZb0UxMlRrWE5OU09xTVpXN1NjZ2VtRFVJMmh3Y0RuVmxhcEZmcWRaLzMxbFlsQ0UxWEw0Nzh6L1FpaWtaYi9kc3Nu/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(4a754de58a54f05a64d9d9fd9478e3ba).jpg)
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWW9XMmFkc09jYTR1Rmd4eThkVGNRdUw3MFJPK0tIc3NhdjdRVHBXRitXYnpyTG5TaEl0VWdRblZwTnFRWWtncWp0eGRhRklRUEdROVdNMGM1VVhKMGNpc2ZkYlJjSUxqZmM0MllLKzhMMG5nTzBCN21aeW4xU3VGbzB5MUY3cnlnPT0%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f08b7d4df5b506b43d74c69900e81698).jpg)
“Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUVdqNGJGbFR2RHBlYVgyT0RocHltM1ovN0w5RXE3UTZZZFcyMnIvTkVVM1MvVTcwa3MyM0h1Y204YlcyTGNZSjJjSFJyRG94K1dJRUZ6UlY4dDZjb1RFZ21hZ2dmelo4UFlrVVdTblFRSm9TNDI5RGJ5ajJKRzlNVVVuUmJMNGQ1b25qY1R1TXhtNzNrVElUVmhXWFkwPQ%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b7dcf2674d16eba90b7ff3f95a3226cd).jpg)
“Change is not a four-letter word…but often your reaction to it is!” – Jeffrey Gitomer
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVzQ0UTNsWFhYL1MrWElYMExXdzZ5eDg1TGNEeVJDRHZFT3JZU0ZmaWRseE5hdWdJS3U5azcyTFhmOFlDVzg0L29ZcmdwdnJ5SmdtcHRVVFdlWGV2Nk55eWw3c05IQXlGb0pVb1Yxem1XK0c%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d8a937d2d8bd3d593c82adc5ab495c91).jpg)
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight!” – Phyllis Diller
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVlVBR0tSbFJjVjBvQ0JqVllXd2dmejZsZGhydTl3TVVVVmc0YkNUQllmVDdCbXFtUld5VGdpTFlEb2VZUVFwVUprYWgwUDF2SEpQTVVlTTF4cTczQkNIeUtyS29ZVHhsS3hCbHNYOG01U2MyZWNWV3BmZ3AxMzBQMndlNU9zMTdJM3lPVUY5YVlJNUZ3TENsbDBqcDBnTXF3TEtnNE1XUGlnZXcwRGtoZ1EvY2RLVk1EM0g4eWlXMDZ5ZHFYVmd3QlNtZnN0M01DZ0ZDRWp0Q1hSc3AySlYvd1pFa0xtM0ZzTXlpZUVzVWRtKw%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b1b132a55077d83807aae21052931bf6).jpg)
“The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.” – Franklin P. Jones
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxYcnQveC9ic3RZZ2VOdEIzbWdFSVJoblY5QzlNM00ySTZ6ZXFCV0tlQlJIRHR3OVBDUW9VakFMOG15MmZFcjlBS3BqSGtBWW55c2IwUjluY2JxQk9NWHVvV0NHenNJbmFlNEt6TVJjbnpUV20vVTlDVTJROEhtek4zZTFPQ1lXL2VNN29sYm5wQXZ3cTBrMTB2SzBUUzl4a2Q1NG0vTCt3Y2JIMVBmNDBZ/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(44bf7f36caa4fb7d94aff7171930d348).jpg)
“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUQ3WUhkSHkyS2ZlczF3cXQrN3c3NW90aEFycTdYQVV4UmVubTBYcGdYMjEyaDVMQnkzZHN3aTg1ck1FcU55ODVaVFQvbWwrc3NDd1dETjhzL2g3KzZuWUp5N0RMM0lSRE1OVUlyQ0RrQlk%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(69b7d8a7b3e4a0ffdd6c7e3b4d8aab70).jpg)
“When nothing goes right, go left.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWTk3LzZwY0VuT1R0eDE1OStxQ3NUUi9Mc3IvZkc5aFgxcVAvVUVvL3VBeHB2Yy9Oa0diYTIrNXVXQjJDOCtCbUw1QnJ5UkU1dU9Va1RpalAzMEtBWVdMQ3NMcm5NSXcybllZQ1hhWXBHaW51cWprRDlXK1FRSUVCNnFUSTlQOVBCZTM2U3F1R0Q2T2Jock1XWVVENm9rPQ%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e07be772d87214a20669fb0d5ff3d684).jpg)
“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDZzBGV295c3NOa3gwNlRMYkYvUXNzblJRdjNGYU9tVmZHVmtGS0RHMGtNb3ZRUGlEYXp0YmFGK1FRZ05mNHByREgxQnlodEkvbE5jRTlubnhvYU1xQ29YcHEzbW9BYkMyRW4yTUYyS0s5czhNOUhGbFFQZDRHbkUxVHBxaWd0NytRPQ%3D%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(10d37d8599470abbc2e7ef9163d2dc0e).jpg)
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWFdBOU5aVWNjZFQzUUF2c1hKc0sxa0dwcFJqdXl4ZHpJbVh0RUNNL255OWpoa2JhSUxXcHRwcUhxZG1EUGVMUGxlS3ZCZURVL05sN0VLSEZQdnAra3dsbFlad3laWFFHU2wvQmo3RzM0T0U4dngxeDNrWjZrYTZJQWZnbWVkcWdnPT0%3D/DUMB+QUOTES+FUNNY/(bdde8a6c68d35d25591c74601d62f63a).jpg)
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin