EDDIE HEARN FUNNY QUOTES

“I’ve been in the game a long time, but I still can’t figure out why boxing gloves come in two different sizes. Either they’re too big or they’re too small!”

“I’ve heard of fighters having a glass chin, but some of these guys have a glass jaw, glass ribs, and a glass ego!”

“If I had a dollar for every time a fighter said they were in the best shape of their life, I’d be a billionaire. But let’s see if they can go more than three rounds without gassing out!”

“Promoting fights is like herding cats. You never know who’s going to pull out, who’s going to miss weight, or who’s going to show up in a mask and call themselves ‘El Luchador.'”

“My matchmaking skills are so good, I could probably organize a fight between a kangaroo and a koala bear and people would pay to watch it!”

“They say styles make fights, but some of these fighters don’t even have a style. It’s like they’re just swinging their arms and hoping for the best!”

“I’ve seen fighters with more excuses than a politician during campaign season. No one wants to take responsibility for their losses anymore.”

“In this day and age of social media, fighters don’t need a mouthpiece, they need a keyboard to talk their way into a big payday!”

“If I had a dollar for every time a fighter blamed their loss on a ‘bad haircut,’ I’d have enough money to start my own salon.”

“Boxing has a lot of politics, but it’s nothing compared to the drama you’ll find in the Real Housewives franchise!”

“If you can’t handle a few punches in the ring, you definitely can’t handle this business. It’s like being in a constant state of rollercoaster ride – thrilling, terrifying, and occasionally nauseating!”

“I’ve been to more weigh-ins than I’ve had hot meals, and let me tell you, it’s like a buffet of egos and dehydration.”

“If fighters spent as much time in the gym as they do in front of the mirror, we might actually see some competitive matchups!”

“The boxing world is like a soap opera on steroids, with more plot twists and backstabbing than an episode of Game of Thrones!” DAILY SELF QUOTES

“I believe in giving fighters second chances, but some of these guys need a whole rehab program to cure their addiction to excuses!”

“I’ve seen fighters come in with more bling than Mr. T, but they can’t throw a punch to save their life!”

“If fighters were paid based on their trash-talking ability, we’d have a few billionaires in the ring!”

“In boxing, it’s not just about ‘float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,’ it’s more like ‘run like Forrest Gump, and hope for a lucky punch!'”

“There are two types of fighters in this world – those who trash talk and those who get trash talked back into their corner!”

“I’ve had fighters ask for ridiculous things in their contracts, like a lifetime supply of bubblegum or a clause that says they never have to take out the trash again!”

“Promotion is like a game of chess, except the pieces are constantly changing weight divisions and posting shirtless pictures on Instagram!”

“In boxing, the only rule that’s written in stone is ‘there are no rules.’ It’s a wild west out here, with more punches thrown than Clint Eastwood in his prime!”

“I’ve seen fighters come up with more excuses than the worst lawyer on Law & Order. It’s like they have a PhD in avoiding responsibility!”

“If fighters put as much effort into training as they do into video game skills, we’d have some unbeatable champions!”

“Some fighters have footwork like they’re auditioning for a Broadway musical. It’s supposed to be a fight, not a ballroom dance-off!”

“If boxing had an award for the best actor, some fighters would have more Oscars than Meryl Streep!”