EYES FUNNY QUOTES

“The eyes are the windows to the soul, but mine needs some serious Windex.”

“I woke up this morning with bags under my eyes…and it wasn’t even grocery day!”

“I have a resting bored face, but my eyes make it look like I’m judging you.”

“My eyes are like an all-you-can-eat buffet, because they’re always hungry for more sleep.”

“I don’t need a private investigator; my eyes do all the stalking for me.”

“My eyes might not always tell the truth, but they’re great at convincing people I’m paying attention.”

“I’ve got my dad’s eyes and my mom’s inability to find her keys.”

“My eyes are brighter than my future…which is saying a lot.”

“Sometimes I roll my eyes so hard, I can see my brain having a panic attack.”

“Sure, I’ll make eye contact…as long as it’s with a cute puppy or a slice of pizza.”

“If looks could kill, my eyes would be serving life sentences.”

“I’ve got my eyes on the prize…but I keep losing the receipt.” QUOTES ABOUT LIFE NOT BEING A FAIRYTALE

“You know you’ve made it when someone says, ‘You’ve got googly eyes, but in a good way!'”

“I don’t trust people with small eyes…they’re obviously not seeing the big picture.”

“My eyes have a great sense of humor; they’re always winking at the wrong people.”

“If you want to know what’s behind my smile, just take a look into my tired eyes.”

“I may have 20/20 vision, but I’m blind to the fact that I’m still single.”

“Don’t worry, my eyes didn’t judge you…but they did rate your outfit a solid 4 out of ”

“I have eyes in the back of my head…unfortunately, they’re mostly focused on my double chin.”

“I may be nearsighted, but I can always spot a good parking space from a mile away.”

“They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but my eyes are just beholding pizza.”

“I’ve got my eyes set on the future, but they keep wandering to the snack aisle.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, my eyes are bloodshot, thanks to Netflix ’til ”