![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TUzFJQ3Body9lWElxV2JrMCtXVTlqRlpQdDdSWCt3eVBsTnhLdm5YMnBZQlV4WFdGYnlXb1ppZDhjUlhEMVowVmJ0Vk9tTnJJMnI2Z2I3eVlDZ0NWSVNTUTRnOW1QdE1TWnJmRHdNUFBOc3NzUlZ2OExwZjIzeU0vZWdjYmV3cUViTEJqak03MnI0N1VnZENWOXlCampQZjFxMCtDZWVvRmdoMlJIMG00cWtMUT09/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(982bf1f2c6fd49ba7ed3311546bc6487).jpg)
“I’m starting to believe that ‘forever’ was just a term coined by sloppy handwriting on love letters.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWVJ0akg4Q3Vzd3ZLaFZyTGNJK05IT0VQeWlQbEVyWFc4My9kSDVqK01EbXludEc4WHcrdVJSOTg0YllYQ3VkL3lremp2WGFJay9XUURyZHhHWHBkVUVERzBCcDFVOG5Gc2tOME5yNlVEc0pWYmtXV1Y0YnNHb1BoUU44OFlNS1p3aW5wd1hqeTV2YytsUzdHa1JiaXRSRlBSOGVPREpNVy9MRG4xYjZnM2hU/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d68b74908aa842ac140090a8687186e7).jpg)
“If relationships had a Facebook status, mine would be ‘It’s complicated with a side of cringe.'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWVBERVljQUkvT3pQTDlvMy8vSFlObzNuOW1HSkdPOEdrQXl6UUFZYnVueWJZeTlLb3M2cFAwdDVQTXZPZHdOeEFabmlrakRaVnJ1NDRaOGo3Z2ZtOVlPdWNkWWg0cVh4N1VPNGJPRmprVTdRbGFOUERQUm5mR2Q0ZE1CdENDQzJSdG9PNHB6dU9DT1hmOVAvM29zN0ZQd0VISXVrSDF2SFMzSFVhYTNhUjYz/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c63b8b6e13b1e9782ceb5756fd58bf8d).jpg)
“My love life is like a never-ending game of hide and seek, except nobody’s ever looking for me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYmtwK0F3eDBnMFA1NGNxanQ3SDZxM05mVDg0UnhQTnJwNWljQWZEeTdETWNpcVFHZnZNRU16aGVHTW5yTTBwdUY0bmU0QjI0SlM1UlU4cDk2alcxSGI1Zk9iV1hmL2UzaEdqUUk3d0NleFl1NC9PZy9HWEFKU0VZd3ZEdW0yU2ZEQWhHdHRoa2liTC9nTHJpcEVGaGJnPQ%3D%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(719e87423d0f48178af12b30e2dd8676).jpg)
“If my love life was a movie, it would definitely be rated ‘R’ for ridiculous.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0xiTmdqQXBpZExJUTNvLys0YldrUVNsUWxhVUROQlZ3eUw2dUZQeHI2a0ZFZFFQV2lqN0Q0V2lrUnBkUWI3bmN5UDR1emljdVQvU085aWJLbHI4M2dxdm9MQ2dMNHgvRTRacWVCUlJNUUdHeVRML3hKWHptSElDV1hkSXVoN2RzSHNvNHYzNHI5ck5Wd3BFVlEwZkkwdlR3UjA4NzNhakNFc0kveEsxaDBRaTIyR2s2cUpwV282aWtRVTJYNGF5Zz09/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e6913cba763866a1b82305e1e5527ecc).jpg)
“Being single is like being able to eat all the ice cream you want without feeling guilty, but also crying into it occasionally.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYWFhUk5EdWx2Tmdsend3enlRcWpsbkJtckpDc1l6SzNoWmFnWForNUF4VFZiaVR5OExVTWh5ci9VSlpZOElRaDc0YmY3Q0VOT01yb1VlMnlrOVF2dHlZckd0clI0d3hPOS94d0U4R1FPVWY2MVBDY1Y4Z0pSL1FPV0dsbk80MGNRPT0%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(06a463fb25c8334e33eae93d8213956b).jpg)
“Relationships are like algebra – you look at your X and wonder Y.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEMwRUYydGQ2MVE4ZHgvaS96clczOXZuTDRLVHdYMTF6NVEreDZoa1lyV1YwVW56TEdsSWJVMDdqclV2OWFEMXJQT1dZSVJ0Z0JZTlIzSFYvNjlIMVo0MGpKcktpazlKQlA0Z2p4dFRCamh3V1VaaXB0L2tEQWhKS2VVVmZsWnFnPT0%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e187f7aeab9b35cee2afa2b7a94a125a).jpg)
“If love is blind, then my exes must have been wearing night-vision goggles.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aG1GWFpJdFdNUXpJbWxwVGk0RHJ5M0l3dVRDOUR3WWpoVldkaDhnd3o2d0hxbFBLSzZRUXBsWklUUm15YUVYbnhWV1ZJREliMjFqTW5KNGcvYndpSGUwMnRFWkJzYWpHWDBpUU9DaXU5RlFLMk5FV1Eya0ZPYTl4Z29iUEU3enI0PQ%3D%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e6a5cde86e0cad93147b3657029e88db).jpg)
“I don’t need a knight in shining armor, just a guy with a sense of direction and GPS.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDZ2kxKysrSG5pSmhzclpjRUhmNjF6NVhQN1lpa3ZsUHpENC9mdWZaeXBheHY2eXcyb0NTYkdIRmZjbUtqUkpwcXlVTmtXZkEyNlZhVytQaW1KaUZXaU96UGVqcGVicmJFTzZjcnA2cTJRTnFBPT0%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6ee7466106697b04ff22fdd1a027af05).jpg)
“The only thing we had in common was our inability to make it work.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZDFaZVJRbFlXc1VVdzh2RmZ2MGZkZkdBbWk1NzAvajF6WXltTVQ5ZEpCaCttd25kdkx1TVJXejAwdTRMUU5tbXVjVG4wbkFLb2JEWG5XUUFxYTZXVUdJV3VMOTZOT1FQQTNHUTF2ZmpscjVSa0NZT0Y5RnlrMXFOdHV1UHB3ajVGVlZWbDlQeWNidkNtU0tNV2E2VlNBPQ%3D%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a10ba56619b42cda7e2110f2d1178c85).jpg)
“Love is like a chemical reaction – full of explosions and questionable results.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWTk3LzZwY0VuT1R0eDE1OStxQ3NUVGdmQXRvRVluLzhmTHBkQUZ6cEp2bVJuUk1pbmN6Tkt6OGpsMVdmV2RiWHQrSmQydWxvVWxvRE9CbzNlT1V2a1IrakczMnJuKzFSU2luWjkvS2Y3TVM0YW94TXoydTBQRU1Tcnh5bHpOOExwUjZFVHR6UjFZb1hZT293VEJYSGlRPQ%3D%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(4b6b5e45b3cc1b43dd271db2b364be52).jpg)
“Whoever said love is a battlefield clearly underestimated my ability to trip over flat surfaces.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU0xMZHdjbG81bGx4UnJ3MnlsVE9Ec3krS2pzdmhIbzZ0endvTU45YnZWbE1odEhZVkFyd1ZNQnNhdzBCWWNOMW1NR3hLSHpJdFRtMEhzczRZTU5nZ0pIRzhSWFZNRllDN1JWMzl3RDl2Q1l1SitnWTFCSlBEVVA3QTJoQmJDQy9LY2pmcWV6N0E3MUhJcXNQeWVRaUREQWpqWEZaZG15bWRVZGdiTithRWIz/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c2f7c317d923944885fa2f0e76799a28).jpg)
“I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m definitely not the dullest relationship.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEMwRUYydGQ2MVE4ZHgvaS96clczL2kvK3VJTGozdkkrb3dWYmtVSW1sNmFtalpDaDdHNTFUenIrclJEZlF6SXZjL3FlY0hDSTNlbFdvOXpRa3A0Vk5SYXRzUGFjZ2VoclUrRFZ1a1AzR29pS0lEa0xmeTdhQk5Jd0NML1EwRVVNVDZReUR2VFJoY1VlaG1OWTVQelpUTHdyWUtkZXpIbEdqK1NjeW5iMHpp/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a46f95002f02638eb9af3f959a56a134).jpg)
“If love was a job, I’d probably get fired for my lack of commitment.” QUOTES ABOUT SELF-WORTH
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0tmeXBLR0VCT2V5S3dKVllMeDIyTmdUOFo5MHVPZklUQzFTQWsxWGF3QmdEaDQyc2lBaXFCYUhqdjhEYmNyVkV0aHB5WkcvdXpLU0FFYVE5M2ZYUWdIcjIwK1pMTno5Q01VOWRmY3VIcU1SQWFpM0pNQzB4ZEtXdGJOWTJyMGpUbi94bThVNS8zTThNRnZFbklFRTNtUUlJbFZQdEZ6NythSytQTHc5MU1sZz09/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(25a920dc3c6fb98df5286e656809fdaa).jpg)
“I’ve come to realize that ‘happily ever after’ is more like ‘happily until the credit card bill comes.'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUpnN25DdDFaMVc2UGtsai9LNGJ0cGMvaTFMeElqaUF5ZGE5QkxuUDRoTlhaeWw5SGhDTjBMM0Jjb3ZlME9qdmlMaUZjTkk1cHNDeGZDQUlmU2JRRURKY3lvRGNFOWpyRVFOdjIyN2Rzb08%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(af0e5cc1c35f4f880aa886ef3085ca97).jpg)
“If patience is a virtue, then I must be a relationship saint.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZHJ6RktQT09jMmI3M1E2TE82RW9Lbm5CWlRQT25PU0o0OEZLT1pVbjd5TEV3QW81WVFwbDVrRWFLUXlVSUZCTEhUeGs1M3kxWjdnNU9aVGdZY1BiM05LbVdCcEVWTHVTSEZSVFJubStGTG40aHZaMDJ6cjdkSTNXdUdHc0syeXJpNytuQUhuekR6d3R5Z2JOdW9lWnA0ZzY2T1pGQ2QydlZVTDIwOGxlbTNHUT09/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(6bd3772cd087358b5affe6f2bccc4ccf).jpg)
“I’ve learned that the most reliable relationship advice comes from my toaster – it always knows when to pop out.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVmxORkYvTlhmU0Yrc2I5bWIzTExxa3JRN0N4RWlGTUs1VVE5dXF6VnAxdi9nYmZXZ3d4aVYxK1I1OVNNSlU3OWE4VFZIbXN1VGdudG5GL0ZTSHVkdkRSYzYrQzczSXJLamlHditFTnQwTUJ4QUlTK1g0VkJnUytVYWhSVzNRK1J3PT0%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3e0f335f20b88ed7d864673b1404502c).jpg)
“When it comes to relationships, I have a PhD in Romantic Disasters.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYmsxaHdiVmM0VDBEcTZzSnNaUVdjNzdIblhsanprRG9UK3Q3WThQRmMwTHIyb0xmamo2VkRHVEk4SHdpdDZFL2RsS0lGWU1IMkxPV0pJMnVhV01qT0VJQXJ2SlU2UDBQMmlMZ1k4NW1CdXpWZ1NSQkhrWmpBcDhUalJVQ24zMXVoRlpZWURLNUExODV0aWx4bzB4TW9GczNtS3JVK3pZckxHU2l2TGJrendB/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(ba9fa7970ff688e996198d1e9950f690).jpg)
“Netflix is my most loyal partner – it never disappoints, and it’s always ready for a marathon.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMUVhtWDdoazYzUThJSk1iTlNCSWQvUUppRWk0VWhDNHNucHJNcHhyL0hGZCtJOEs4eE1Memd4dGdPRVJtcS9FdFA5NFF1K3ZtclZHR1ROMExZZXlaTE42RmM3SzJsYWU5MlJka2J1RTRkalNMSEFTSmFuZy9zUXNpNjUxcEhFSGpvPQ%3D%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(2ec84210a7484c356b76fb664f9bb285).jpg)
“I tried to give up on love, but it’s hard to quit something you’ve never had.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkVrTEN4UnA5U3hhcy9CTE04UGorMUdSVUZMMW1oZFpnOU1VSytsU29JQlVZbWt6NVdwQ042d2ZvYkV3OXhidTdBdmZrY1NWby9nRC8xbGNVZVZxeitBUmNhaXhYSmNsVnJzNGZKN1l5aklDbEtXY3psRmVaQzkyUUdxYW9sazJ3PT0%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(959b1302e2798b7cddd9cdd3d66553f5).jpg)
“Sometimes, the only commitment I can handle is signing up for a free trial.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYTNJRGwxVHNPZVRtMkRwOHI4M0l4MEFSWUhIRjZIMnJyc2t3OXk2U01NeVBBS0I4Sk96RzlXY2VWell5QlVMRWJHQUR3WVArVjMwY2thQXZKV2F5dm1LNzFLTERNSjlKMDNIUjdJYlpTSk5CN3QzVUVONllYOGpuUTRFRklqUFVhZGtBQ2lCQW4yaHpuejNOVm52Z0JRcTd1cnRaVmwrWEVzRDNKaXhFZmJ2enNpSExUelVadHdEMFAxL2ErOWtoQT09/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0d1e38f5aacd5bb99b668673c177def6).jpg)
“My dating history should come with a warning label: ‘Caution: May cause uncontrollable laughter or intense facepalming.'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWVBERVljQUkvT3pQTDlvMy8vSFlOcHVsR2cxcktmd3lRa2FUZExTdTY1aTFaSUxxcnBKaFo1WSttN0RKYzUwUkFhN05HMTJmK1JFSmw4UXFVRHF4VkJuTFE1blltZFE4ZnM5MlgzVVRXS1Ewc0ZGSDAvT3hLVFNvTTU5Vk9hdk5XcFFJS2diK0hPNG9yTVNLekQwTFdIMmpPRkNlZEhhSUZtNklkTjdYQ2lw/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(32f0b6761c81cd702b5c92a26a44814b).jpg)
“My love life is like a soap opera – full of drama, questionable plot twists, and a lot of eyerolling.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYmtwK0F3eDBnMFA1NGNxanQ3SDZxMlRJWXJaNUFEaHlsUDc3RjdDZHlueVFEeU55WWxHNzd4d1hQZVNOMGVLTStrdEpiRFJUcWdYRDRPTy91NWJOQnR1TXZ3SjVqMythUXNKTlUyaUlEbzlnN1puUnRBRzZZOXhjUEptSDUzNFMvcFRYY3BvNFlYbUZ0VnVaNUI4VVk4PQ%3D%3D/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(4143d541f5c572bba3b07e2eba628af2).jpg)
“If my love life was a career, I’d be unemployed and living in my parents’ basement.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU0xMZHdjbG81bGx4UnJ3MnlsVE9Ec2lkSnVZbVQzVGxjb01VZU1mV2dxanluVjJGeHFOOUh0ZFVjanA3YlhEeEowMHh2WlorOUh0NUQxV0FJeWZjM1J2bWM3K2k5eXJqd2xCZk5uaVJIY0syL0NGajBXTGVMb1Y5aXN6akFaNFh4Q29lNUw2VXJNQXJvcGcxSlA5b1RGZFRkTmJ0RDJaZk1kK3hmYXcvS2Q3dEsyUlFsTk1NTW1rMmJQR0NkTnJyQT09/FAILED+RELATIONSHIP+QUOTES+FUNNY/(94dab2be73959fc9f7862a18d4c61055).jpg)
“I may not have found ‘the one,’ but I’ve definitely mastered the art of romantic comedy marathons.”