“I’m starting to believe that ‘forever’ was just a term coined by sloppy handwriting on love letters.”

“If relationships had a Facebook status, mine would be ‘It’s complicated with a side of cringe.'”

“My love life is like a never-ending game of hide and seek, except nobody’s ever looking for me.”

“If my love life was a movie, it would definitely be rated ‘R’ for ridiculous.”

“Being single is like being able to eat all the ice cream you want without feeling guilty, but also crying into it occasionally.”

“Relationships are like algebra – you look at your X and wonder Y.”

“If love is blind, then my exes must have been wearing night-vision goggles.”

“I don’t need a knight in shining armor, just a guy with a sense of direction and GPS.”

“The only thing we had in common was our inability to make it work.”

“Love is like a chemical reaction – full of explosions and questionable results.”

“Whoever said love is a battlefield clearly underestimated my ability to trip over flat surfaces.”

“I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m definitely not the dullest relationship.”

“If love was a job, I’d probably get fired for my lack of commitment.” ONE WEEK LEFT FOR MARRIAGE QUOTES

“I’ve come to realize that ‘happily ever after’ is more like ‘happily until the credit card bill comes.'”

“If patience is a virtue, then I must be a relationship saint.”

“I’ve learned that the most reliable relationship advice comes from my toaster – it always knows when to pop out.”

“When it comes to relationships, I have a PhD in Romantic Disasters.”

“Netflix is my most loyal partner – it never disappoints, and it’s always ready for a marathon.”

“I tried to give up on love, but it’s hard to quit something you’ve never had.”

“Sometimes, the only commitment I can handle is signing up for a free trial.”

“My dating history should come with a warning label: ‘Caution: May cause uncontrollable laughter or intense facepalming.'”

“My love life is like a soap opera – full of drama, questionable plot twists, and a lot of eyerolling.”

“If my love life was a career, I’d be unemployed and living in my parents’ basement.”

“I may not have found ‘the one,’ but I’ve definitely mastered the art of romantic comedy marathons.”