![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVGJ3NWhSeWdFUTdsdjczWmFrRThPNzROanUvcllIOVRQbjlyTE1la29yamRGY0E2cjM1ZUdubDBCRldkZ0c5emU0UlZPK0hGZ21wREJoYkJZK1YvVHhXSXFPbkNDY0FBTERaVXB5WDNVYUROb3l1Rlp5ZHdXZTllbVF1VTFvbFlKbVFHOEtuVzRPUFhOOWVIZGZKekU0PQ%3D%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(1878823e273174e7bcab8198f4bec0c5).jpg)
“I asked my dad if he had any family jokes, and he said, ‘Yeah, they’re my kids!'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNFF5a2FWMEdpTHpHZFdJUXB0b09HbzVVY0tNR3EyQ25qM2o2MEViZlZiWlpBMTNyOHgycG0rdFhZRVVtb2FEN05kV1RNQnBXYnFiMG8yZVFManl0MHZlTW9yV2Nyc1I0OHdkYWVmdEhNZkFnPT0%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(97c443e21b9ad5b81b9d417a755cdd99).jpg)
“Why did the computer go to school? To become an ‘A-lan’-tologist!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUszM0RHMHdVUGpXZWY5WERQSTU1Slgrem5sakcwYTF5NGlhQTdTTjFIRExvL1lKdjl1Z1VTSC9XajV3UzBaczZnPT0%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(3ee335c86105e4391d57f3b958486d48).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, and she gave me a big hug!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZE9DcTFORVVsUUtvcHAxNFhlK21vRWphcjVrVmhUZGtQQW9HRVAwWWZvcDFnWnR3Mmtuc0l4cHlQVFYrbmxlbTQrVDBiQWhUREZvd3lXc1orYWs3eDhHdGdVRjZVTVhTOEZNWHVhaTI3YVFTVmNJQ0xxa05nclE4QXFHYmV3ZDFkTUMwSC9SZm9pOFEwVWtPMi82YjRlSDlCNDRRVDhhRkM3NUxFYitsejN6/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(b9f41ce0dfd33517230252ef1f16d821).jpg)
“My siblings and I love playing hide and seek with our parents. They’re so good, we never find them!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZitGM1RNcDdJMm5KY1U3ak12SzBwelcvZmFnUlZ4K2VIYzQxeWpBUjI1SjY0Y083TG5adnZDQzhnY0ExUzZNQXoxZ0lKcWY5YXhSTmlNbHpEUkx2aGdCQS85cEN4akx2b3M3RnpBQUdkTEFidmlQV3pLTk9WMkJCOXVTR2JWYTlpNFhnWG45M1BvMmJuakVjcklpOS9SVi9GYjhieGkxbGk5aTBRZDQrWlFC/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(d721a721d6de4bda085ad906b8127406).jpg)
“My mom said she bought a talking measuring tape because she wanted to ‘hear’ the inches!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNlMzazlCWFJnanhRajlKK3FyTkNjdndZaExyWnVoSHRSNkZxMmNsRmlEeWNUU2Y0aTFYdW81Nk1reUVxYUpqSkxaTUltcDFmbTVLOFNCSWN5U3hPSUNJK0hkbzhMQzhXK2JuRTRhZWZCSEV3PT0%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(e548d95f21dd90d83f7893a403ff3ad0).jpg)
“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWWwzakc0SE9lWXRqWHdLVmFJMENsUjBrQ1RyZXczcGdDeTdEOWxJbmIzamE1SlFZaENMYXF0WmRHUTg4d3NURmQweEVzcStINlA2bUp4a1piRnFiUVd1akxrZGttUVp0eksxWHRkbkthRDNVbXdqKzVBWW94a214eHN4K0orOUVVQys5bkNheEtJbkZJamJBZG0wT3JJPQ%3D%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(b9de738b5e6a80d8d656325514584f73).jpg)
“My aunt’s favorite exercise is holding her glass of wine – she never spills a drop!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAveXA2eUJlWGoxMVRuV2w4cWpva3Y1cGhKYTkzd3BXL3g1TTVCcG04U0VLNlVVa01vaUthNGNjZ1A5SjZNbXR5UFBUVlo1dEltNnQwdGJUd2kvNTVIVUg3S0huVUdOTEdtMzNoU0RCSzluR2FRPT0%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(e5794edf280bcf872ebd0143af2dd27e).jpg)
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWDFlRTgyNEJSK2ZXaXYwWEUyME51R0FHY01keEI2b2RldGZsT08xUDR2YW1manBqZzFUM1o0bm1idU1OaG05OWxoZkhpa3VSMFpBcHUvTTlFSzc4VnVheVp3WGtzRXRDOHV2c3dDNU9PbnZJeGdiUmxISEpiUlhYckM3b0Q4eWQ5R011N3cyT1Jua3R5TGlWenBTejdRPQ%3D%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(c81e9e9f172a9c5461039d25128eb35b).jpg)
“My dad thinks he’s a comedian, but his jokes are just ‘plane’ awful!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYXNzSUJoeS84bHFVMFl4eVNkcmRmRGdadHBIUkQ4WXhrWmZPZVBnTlhsUmU0aVhKL3JjUFpLSWw0T0k2VFZEOEhIb3dwVDMvWXNudzk2elA0TjlEd1g4UlQxdFJ0cU1YT29rL1RWbWlRcnhFQUVTUlUwbjJCTkM2SFdkSE9TVkVaOFYwRmhsZFpSQ0UwNmdTQjBlaUJ3PQ%3D%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(2b75492c980b5b0fd4fce11b7efb8151).jpg)
“What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the ‘corner’!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAvemR4STlHd1ROWFhHb1ExNmlDcDdnNnRSTTN6WlVRYy9iUjQ0SEdqMzBLMmxIN21LNFE0T2kvVmZmeFJWWUxPWTNKejlUTVJqVFROQmlTUk5OWkgyTnQ5aFpPdEhWZWNDcmkzU2g1ODNuWSt0M3lVcVlVUmNVVXdEKzA2NTJpdjJ6U2M4azlrWGtMQ0hvaUJTbGVCV0pL/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(7e14af4763a6ac2152a4060799fb9fbe).jpg)
“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!” QUOTES FOR BEAUTIFUL SISTER
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjJWbGRyL1UvVU4yL2ExVmVJbVVqOVZxaVhrcHJEZDhuREtjOHkwS3drdGxUVmJzSUtpUitSUDJjVUFnYXpnU3E5Ukw2NGJHaGt0YitoTGFLWGt5bkYwOVRNUE0rekU5UUFuRGY4WTZsZC8%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(c8d7b77295e34686eccc250ac77688fc).jpg)
“If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUVBxTzhOTElIVDBpcCtXNVpaQU5qY0JDOTJRR005YjBGTGpibnhJZWN4N0dkMG5mYlNmVzhUVkVsWE12SzZSTjJ0eFdlVWRCUXJ1VTBQSEdJMkpTVlBteS9LYWZTRmhmckxBbTlTMUJDOVNVYnNaWGx6K3F4Tjc0aDl6K3pTdDdHQnprbUVIbE1SVE5kSEpqaitmRUYyY1JURUN0Yzc4YW1vUDJYSGhsQkZVU3lrYi9ldEVncmJMR2MwbTRvTjRxV2FDRXpaeVltVVpiVDBkRkpzSWRENHB2aFN4cWxYZlhlLzdkZHZuS1Vaaw%3D%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(317ae4b7960e9c0c1ad3b494593636e7).jpg)
“My brother wanted to impress the girls, so he told them he made a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen their ‘impasta’ faces!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNUVZVmcxYy9iV2FDbGpjTmNENnJqZ3Ira0pmOWpTTG83VUc2M2lwOFBNazNtaGxhaGpEcXdFazdrSjdDYzlqcWwxY2JMWllnWDRJWkRFSWZpMCtvREhDRnVOR25HbVVYdGJyWDhyZjhmS09nPT0%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(d52c426e2a65957515d672a80efb6169).jpg)
“Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWRSYWlJOUJ3TmR2R3dLT3dQejdTTEJyR25EWXNkU0RnSkRvaDZWRUtIT0h0bitHL3pnaElVUGVEeFZEVmtxS1EzVFRYaGc5ZTJZWEM2UHhTODFKTkV6bHY5QU5HU3oyWDQzM1VDUzFrbE9kaEJocC80VVgwSzYrQ2dYa3FCZWpOSjR6b0dTNzdiZ2NjVzU1UkN4MHY5S2JPTVVMZGtkY09FcURzY1NFT2VTdz09/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(5801ef0b2eaf95b1f1286fe0fb7bd6d1).jpg)
“I’m not saying my wife’s cooking is bad, but the mice throw ‘cheese’ parties in our pantry!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNmlIelpYTXlBWE1JRjFiS1dWb1dHOURhYW40dXRXS1pvQWdqQ0lSOXZuYXBTaUk5bE82M3ZpRm9QeHcyY0lGSHY1aS9FUVZzMzl1TlRXVHBLZkVka3A%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(cf10c740a1877d31c13e23b123db92c1).jpg)
“Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWnM2dkJoUThLTUlRbTRqNnRQMm5QSEo1YlVuWVhpVnV2RUluRGt0cjZ5YzJUNXhNak1IWWVGQ2lKSmZhT3o2UFRwdnFheFJGektDTDFreWFBcEE2ZmNyb0tIbFJXbmtGYUhZejNZQ2tTM3I5OGNickEyWUNGOFoyUVJUdmdZN1lXNDJSVmVkL1JaK2xBN052WVhpMC9wenhSa0JXTFhFeVhjY0dnS0dYTDdFZllpKzFFbG1hYURDNkhxdWR6L0tyZz09/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(b3d09f5bddc9d3283a77a904f75dee66).jpg)
“Did you hear about the scientist who found out how to create a ‘Lazy Beam’? It’s just a flashlight!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAveDVTUitQb2hQS1YxbHY0dHd4WHlGUC96bWc5QmNBTnl1S3N1cFJ3UmE2YzYyWTZ4NjZDeGxhNThidnFGUzBIVlRnMGZZanl1WUl6ZTZVTDVkY3NnV3hYTjRKRm5weUNPOW1ENVcydTRINkVnPT0%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(770c9c5872b083f5799ae01fd31e8db7).jpg)
“Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might ‘crack’ up!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjkvbi9qeWRoQ04vTWg3WkZMK0hCN0RxRmYwZ2V5KzNzeTdZa1B3QnlUZ09tQ0MxS3hheDVqZXhQNXVvNDdIZ2tRMWlKUDdsMGxSR3NaUm9hYS9UTDI5Tkh5dk9iM0k4em9FL29WR3VPbzMybm11d3FlYkV2RzNKMzFiWDBhR2taR29BNEdJK1dXazBQRnRDanNoZklVZUhXOWg0ME83dXVFS2lCcWovOXBk/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(eeb22e42d4333b64bea3fb042acbde4e).jpg)
“My uncle is convinced he invented a new word. Plagiarism – he just can’t remember if he used it before!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAvemR4STlHd1ROWFhHb1ExNmlDcDdnNnRSTTN6WlVRYy9iUjQ0SEdqMzBLMmxIN21LNFE0T2kvVmZmeFJWWUxPWTNKejlUTVJqVFROQmlTUk5OWkgyTnQzdU1BbEltTlZnem1hL1g1UlJpNkNBPT0%3D/FAMILY+JOKE+QUOTES/(e04d40ca85122150f51ac9852bb0a088).jpg)
“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”