FAMILY JOKE QUOTES

“I asked my dad if he had any family jokes, and he said, ‘Yeah, they’re my kids!'”

“Why did the computer go to school? To become an ‘A-lan’-tologist!”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, and she gave me a big hug!”

“My siblings and I love playing hide and seek with our parents. They’re so good, we never find them!”

“My mom said she bought a talking measuring tape because she wanted to ‘hear’ the inches!”

“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”

“My aunt’s favorite exercise is holding her glass of wine – she never spills a drop!”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“My dad thinks he’s a comedian, but his jokes are just ‘plane’ awful!”

“What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the ‘corner’!”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!” QUOTES FOR BEAUTIFUL SISTER

“If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”

“My brother wanted to impress the girls, so he told them he made a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen their ‘impasta’ faces!”

“Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!”

“I’m not saying my wife’s cooking is bad, but the mice throw ‘cheese’ parties in our pantry!”

“Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”

“Did you hear about the scientist who found out how to create a ‘Lazy Beam’? It’s just a flashlight!”

“Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might ‘crack’ up!”

“My uncle is convinced he invented a new word. Plagiarism – he just can’t remember if he used it before!”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”