FAMOUS DOROTHY PARKER QUOTES

“I hate writing, I love having written.”

“Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”

“You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”

“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”

“Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.”

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.”

“The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant—and let the air out of the tires.”

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”

“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”

“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.”

“I’m never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don’t do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don’t even do that any more.”

“I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.”

“The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘cheque enclosed.'” HAPPY 6 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY QUOTES FOR HUSBAND

“Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren’t lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful; you might as well live.”

“I don’t care what is written about me, so long as it isn’t true.”

“I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be a darling at it.”

“It’s not the tragedies that kill us, it’s the messes.”

“Ducking for apples – change one letter and it’s the story of my life.”

“I’m never going to accomplish anything; that’s perfectly clear to me. I’m never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don’t do anything.”

“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”

“The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.”

“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”

“The woman speaks sixteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.”

“They sicken of the calm who know the storm.”

“Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.”

“Tell him I was too fucking busy–or vice-versa.”