![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVWY4MElCZUVGazg0OHJQMHNXQ0UybzVOanVlbFBSZXplb1dCRUlOUS9EQ2d1S0w2M3pNS0l3NWFhcG81Mm1MRTFyS0M3blZuR2dyQmt2NHJXeWJhajByQ1E2RXRyMWxnUlFWQ3BEUUYwbkdZU09zOUlZTmVLU3JWWUZyRGE1cEF3aVlIQVh2NnpLZlVrQTcxOTZuTXMrQThwaE5TMnNFdEpiQ0lNQTVpYlh1/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(7e0be1224ce24e9bfb5b8a36321e0adb).jpg)
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU2ZRMVllYURGZ0x4bE1QdnpjanNNTm8vTnJ1L2hiN056VmJtWGpMUWJWbXhXTENxb0s1bndFbFZDTDdEUFhhc0YvK2RraFp2N1pvUmNEVjlWTjRzNTF2ajhBU3NIYVlLWXNrcDAzQzMzK21WdHQ1d0NlQnltcVNsY1d5NVplSEt1RndHZVlvQ3dITk1sM1pFcDVKZWNjMnhYeGhkbXhKK3ZDZHpDcDNhL3dMTW5tdy9CQ3NBUXVROU9YQllHR1NKUT09/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(b731bbaad03101c72639817ecbd0a67e).jpg)
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYXQra0x4M1dDN1dDQkVINDhPZEhwWk9OVTZDWjY2LzBJZklwR2RnakQyWFgrNGRYRUc5OHZWd3NPR0NIc2ZSeEpKZ3JKczFmR1NkMEhRak80U1NrT1hjUVFwemZQLzBuWlhheFpxWDdZQ3dRcy9Gcy9PZmVjdlN3NlZHV0ZXNGgyOTREdXBrRDc4RmdWMnZra2NHTlFBPQ%3D%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(2818eb7d5781ac607e6dd86c942d0e01).jpg)
“Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZUxsY1BkNFF0UFY4Q1JJZWg4bk9nQm5XUmVhQ3BLNmUyV04rUWtiN2dKcG1VUThoWEZZWGN2dHJ6Vlp4S3pTUi9PWmc1S05MNWcvZ3hlVWhucTBvOEZIam9uTGlGdWtBSjlxcjhuQUkwVFg%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(f634b970132bacefb4ccb6e5efaf9dc1).jpg)
“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0JrOURQZFBUdHFKMFFOTUEvVDV6eTJpQ3VCbzJFSitQdDNjSlhEdi9Qd0dDOGVuUnF0TEpDT0c4RUZFZGhZaVhwTThWbkRqT3p3SGtTQ0hWdVJhS3lSdWtKckhyc1UwRmJSaVpiT2lURGo%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(c4bd7c369c0c1433d438d862372dead6).jpg)
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0thaVdBeEhpSDlITFNCTVNnNzZCZTNSL3JvSW9WMkszYmE3L3B1bHkxWWlUVyttcnpvTytFZWw0NmJKV0dRWHlScU9neXVXTHlZWGkvN2cwK2dsWXkzZVB4ZHRudHNrWXcxMEFNMGc0NnFFMXVMVnk2cGhpLzRzYXlKc0FGcm52S0pzUThWZGdJeDhKQTh2aWQyZmFNY1phOS9rd1F5Sy9ZYnJ4b1Rob2huOUZxL3JIZURGUEQyRGpGaHpmUWxtdz09/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(84ab6c2bb8377c1d493f2a59143eefec).jpg)
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVjR1WG5SdXlNSVBGY1JPSlBkL3o3SEIyV0pZZmV2ckNLK1lHZGV0SHd2N1IrWmZZRzFYMGNERFJ4M0ZZdWx2OTYxY0F0Yyt6WFVwM2FLaU16RjNvdzJHdlBNMjBteXE1a0VDMGUyQmJabUZUb09iMHFENDRUN0tLSTBRekx0aXJBPT0%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(23cb0807d2b89b058eb9305c26a06cdf).jpg)
“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZGdETlIrRW54MUpTM1dtelROcnlMS2xYWWlSVkkzZTNOcFJXZnFsTkEzMWVQSnBjSGhZVWtBL1RBSys1U0w0NmIrU2p4L05oSkdyQ21vKzF1ZzFOWG9RYmM5Q0x2RUVLMFZrUWdnTHI3ci9BPT0%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(0999f74cc3cee5898629e82239146d12).jpg)
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZm1IVVlCT1BQdHltaWRxTDhsMmczaWlXK1U0ZFU3RERzd28wUFJaZDVCcVV3K2xscDhid3g5aXRwS1B4ZGlVNmV5RkZ0cm43ekxBYUFaekNPUTkxVUNmajU2OHVWNElYTTZxUjR1aVMxdCtGaS9jTWJnQkdkQzduaUFldG1nWCtRPT0%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(9ab199d423b6211c76e7fbf20c847f60).jpg)
“Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever done for me?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWRueUdMaWhxUU5LVGZzQjhvSUFTc1JvQ3dqWDdWTWcrcGlNL1JUcTRoZm9aYUkzYkVKOUJOUzBiZWhYQ056WExKUFZtc3QyZjdhM0xRdWV4NFJZZEcyRStmYWIwa3hOcVFyRkVrSmJkY1didVNJallTSnBSY3lLNU05QW1TLzdaaENTWVNZdnVEaVJZK0NxVlRZZVFWQ0I1YSs1VGhuUC9QbWYrM3lRWE9G/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(de898a3398ad12801a44eaf78f0c9848).jpg)
“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUp6SWlDQ21oZWlVekt4K3hJMTM3b2IxK3dQNXdrcUV3V1dBVHlJK2V4TzRWWlgzT1RWUGFHcGUwa094cXozS3JrUVZGZ1lDUklxamQzdkp5MjZzcmZ6NnVNUUQvQkRJTThWYmtETThjeUc%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(06b6ec65dc7c4bd1cc09963b4b3a40cf).jpg)
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxYcnQveC9ic3RZZ2VOdEIzbWdFTENraEZDVUtaL0dod0h6NnVucG4yeW5JaEowcjBXNGF3cDk5c3M5emFWM2k1S3hmb012cVpIZXJ6a3FoQUw4TTd4UFRhZ0tmZVZ6cnExRFlKYjk4cTk3WW5YRFRyK01ZYTk1ZXdieUVjUkx3PT0%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(cc1267c8373c51d9ae10571e10790d18).jpg)
“I never forget a face, but I’ll make an exception in your case.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVGhiS3dyZVQvb3RiOEk4M0ppQWZjd0NUdlRWeVlSZ0FyUzVFam0yTW1SaTZ5Y05ra3RiK2hORkV2NmVmdHhjeU1ocHRjd25kcTV2RjVoNTVNb3lUOTc1UGVjcnRrZnlPRXREQmVydUFDbG5yWXN5WWxDM3ZTbkVnZXpSb1ltKzl0VW5hQlgvVDUxdkdUaVVaTGYyNWxLS3BoRzY3UngxSS9vQzN4Uzhva2V2/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(72fa07b0e61fd55231624825902c5c84).jpg)
“Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsNXA0SUdJb0FNTUlnWm1IZWdrazVBbU1SUVEvaytjL2ovZHQ3SDN6RlpVS0NzaHFmelhKdDZWMEJ5eDRPM1g3YXlXMUgwZEE4cmdid28yQWRPMmVOMXE%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(6f1aecada880dfb1c6719c54ba2d0619).jpg)
“I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDlDdDQ2QVZHUUovOG9maCtZZkg2NnkwVTNmSnhhVWlUeWxHaFcwVmNwWmJXYUw4eGpuU2t6UFhtUWtJL1lESk1Id2ZWV0hqanhKRU9NYVI3VHN3QkpMa0RWZkYveEpQa1ZoWEQwQVBoOWQ4SGtkRFUzZmQ3MXlIVDAreEhFMytOeVVPRkZzNmRpeFNRaWNPZC8yWjJQSThReFpyTVdUM3pJeGtlSVlyOVo4Zz09/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(edda43531cd8a779798f6c3afacd3a87).jpg)
“I’ve known and respected your husband for many years, and what’s good enough for him is good enough for me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZmg0cXNnQmtCYzNYd0k1WVNzbThPdFdNT0VmVHk0V1J0aEI5S09HS2UyYmNZQ2NpNHJKUVQvdCtyN2hxTmpjQjVxdkRZVCt5d3E4VVZnNVlSTjlEYzlJV05GUEpMdVlESW5DbFByUFdOWVhwRGU2OWZISjdieVJDL2FhaTF5OTZWS2oxMzFSMGQ4SmU1VmM1bGYyZnlX/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(adbfa6beb2bc62086ea528c99b497825).jpg)
“I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.” BRECHT QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVk9HVnpoM1cwNVZ4eHdLRG1ZeS91eVhWTm5WYksySzZEYmRXT1REQnk0OVFPL3FZNmNOMTZKbGR4U24ycnA3eUowQ2JKMlNLd2xTRFNJSXRvRVdMaGc9/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(2151fd94625ae195e17a1db756603a9b).jpg)
“I must confess, I was born at a very early age.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjhINThUbmxNTk9ucDFQeUxsZm9uZzUxWmpyc1daS2ZrekVZUEF5VnNyNngvRURuRUZXZVZwc3FmdmtFbHpmTE8wOGhWVHcwaHFoai9RYWtvMXUwcGU2c3lZd0xFMVhPSEZmWEJMamt4QmlTaXJoaWJSRTltR1A5aDcwS3gvTDBDejBPMG84dlRiWE4xd3J3LzZxWSthbHFRdW9jd1ZTd2I5RWZja3JzMmhJ/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(cd133ef23f5c24610c5ee2af249de58d).jpg)
“If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY3lpWERsMUxzbmZKdjc1eHRmVmxsZmZGVlpaZXJqRFFyZHdGNEhTVjgzT1RTYmRWQTRFbjg5aklRTXV1Z1N3RUdxbU1pUkJRQ1dpY2dReUlzaWJsZEE%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(b662ad17fefe18f693dd071e2a0fdf8f).jpg)
“I’m not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY05EV095Syt4S3JBckZiTmhDVkNtWmdSZ1VjS1JkbzNyNEx6RGJGUUJFYnN6OUk2enNzNnYveWZTNHFtSFRMYlE9PQ%3D%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(cec302e2ae1b3ac855158a58a45c7698).jpg)
“Humor is reason gone mad.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjQyWFl5VG9SY1JMb0w5RHBBSXMvMWJvSkpIYkg3MlExRnQraE5rczA3RUxLcGUxZG41RDJrQjV3TE1RZWhyNjFMdWdSREp6TFR4anhQSko3bGE0OHNxU0JGcHNEZlBnRHpVQnVmYmt2Rkg%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(71e9870e6405d0d07626797b9e14b550).jpg)
“I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZWMyMmZVRGpibnZXR2xXeGs4bWhlVE9LZFl4MWZ3SFVpVnNIUGJhZTI5QW9FV3hsL3VUWk5hQkRyWkoyOHFWNlBudkdBTDdsUkNkMUp4Q1d1T0I4N0ZkSTd2ZzRQZUNwaDVjWVYxNUt4U0tvSDNTZDhGdFVQS3ZxQllRRDR5c1Z1MUlDL2Q3cHBmeHJRMU9PTlJCTHU4PQ%3D%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(52cd920a10359eb35e4cdedc8c30ce32).jpg)
“I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV2V6aFlXYk9TT2p4OXNENFdYclhSNU50VVpwNm50dXp3QWRZRy9yUGtQK1ZrMmk2NUxBZWp2VlA3cDBlTWw0dytYSVViTllJaTZ3QkxHenYyYjZXVTdOU0RYVkZKeXVOK1M4dGRnL0tnSVBSZmJPMmpjSGJUbnoyNG41YlJZWlUvL1RZTGdYdVIzYnI4YVRYSzBJMGY4UWY3ZFJmNG00ZFVoSkxIODRIN2lmV0RXY2tlbzFZQWpnL3ZLNUIrRzNDajFxaVEwNkVJdytrQ2hPWkUvQmp5TXRQSjByRkxDcXU1VEtGSWtJU3l1ay9QUWYwZ1ptam9VV3Vubm4zQlVBazF2Z0cvRDAxcEp3bGpjTHdEVkhhZDdSREVNY3ZqWVR0N3Q2ZFZkNXlVNEc2Z0t2UFBZM1RuVUt5SlJPVUdGWU5BPT0%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(84779c3c3edbd1d839d52849ce427d44).jpg)
“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVHRGNktXalByM2JzRHdBRllybWxlK2dVZm5odXdmNG5CZWp3TEIybm0xWFpyR1hIVVdLdmhrSVQrU0VHRVh3amVvYUFDZ2ZoZmZaRVZJL3BOanBkSWh4RDk2VzgrWGxhL0hCZVJSZUc2N01DbnpXS2VvckxjRUZyY3BZTEZWUzFnPT0%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(8573c1a78defff9e2f5080000d10e08e).jpg)
“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxYcnQveC9ic3RZZ2VOdEIzbWdFTENraEZDVUtaL0dod0h6NnVucG4yeWFHTWJiVEdXMEx6Nld0bkN5RzNOUHVsbVhlNVJrS0tySFlmMCtaT0huWTdhQnhweEdsK2xTSFJaOXArM29FUkozT2V3Vmg0QWxhTzRMMUJ2UTYyYWFVQWl3SC9vWldWeC9IL0h4dEZDUjJrPQ%3D%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(2fd0cec1fa2a13d5089389077ca764f9).jpg)
“I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVHViRDE2bERVWmdHUzB4ak9Dd2VyQStWOWdTam9mVmdnV3VFakFZVkdvTlc2V01SbUZQbzBwUnZucVhseWRlSUdwYlBXSTM3YlJHVXlPTklVR1VRWVA5d0U3MitTNDA0UitjTVduczA2eFY%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(87eb0fc50e866b66b8690d1b669763b8).jpg)
“I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWXlWR1pPSUZnajMrRGZGT0RkOUZxc2JpSGNFcmpRM2xuV0hPckluZXJmVFV0cTVHOUZOZ29qM1NzVzdnaktHeThCalBoSmZ3aFpxN2psSkNsSENnS3lJNEw1Wld3eUF6YVhGbFlScU15bGFBdkx3UmNyVU5VNytoejdDNlVwK1BkSE13WVFsT0RPM2VXMmcybXdHdCtQbUpQMk8wUm1tSW5aSVlOVUR4VGx1/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(93c2433eddf584221342a38307a7b429).jpg)
“I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkFJV3ZoMjZZNjVUanJNZzByelRHK1NQVUtIdGNodWtDVTdQUXZzbWZKN0ZVb25NRXlubng1Nzd4TEYrbldQcUloZ094cnBkdElER0tWbzFKVkEvR1lYaXd3aDV5OUJwUW1UUmFacVVzRU8%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(f952043336858be5d809b2ade6282d09).jpg)
“If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU2xYMm90VXRoQXUvc09rM2hEUWpRRWo3emJVNDdGc1cydXRSUE5HY0lsZzA4ck9yMnRzc3poS25nbzcyOEk1bWloOUxjZURSQlVUcWtCNlV4dGxMNTZTaUh3U2FvZlBVRmtSRmFEZU0yengxRWozWVdJaVJHeGlDSGU3Y2pzSUtQVzdJeVFBRGExR3JSVStubG9MRWo5R29XditMRmJvVWZEZjMya2F0TkUvdTdyMW8xNUNjeU5HYTYzSzlVcDdQRHRGMjZCOTdjUy9nY3g0UzV5bDdsa0d1MXhhWGVtOXJjekp3ZUdBQlZ2Vg%3D%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(2acbd8d91c630e18e70c3a118675a3ab).jpg)
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZEIwa1pmOW43K1NRZnF2RlY5UE1SZDc3b1QyWUJ3Q1QyNjR4aVNUWjNzY2hFbnRCZ0dTUEFBNytxYkxWOE95cG5LZmlXVFB5cDdEdnNkekdoU2VuL2dlTXd0aFVGc0JSMUFaS1IwM0JSUE8%3D/FAMOUS+QUOTES+BY+GROUCHO+MARX/(83d58a2462b4bc23b8e1020e808521b0).jpg)
“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”