“I never met a man I didn’t like.”

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

“The only way to resist temptation is to yield to it.”

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.”

“Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.”

“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.”

“The problem ain’t what people don’t know. It’s what they know that ain’t so.”

“Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.”

“If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.”

“Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.”

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.” BIBLE QUOTES ABOUT THE BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST

“Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”

“On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. You can vote ’em out, but you can’t vote ’em out of office.”

“Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.”

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”

“The best way out of a difficulty is through it.”

“You can’t legislate intelligence and common sense into people.”

“Common sense ain’t common.”

“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”

“The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.”

“The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”

“Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.”