![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVlhZUVB3akFldnJmUThkSnA1RnRncWpNQ2lPakhXcVYzdHNlakFXK3FkZnU1RDhxRjFwcXdyT2pHOXMrTnZReHVKMUFYUmFXdzJ4b0Z2NWFVckxLeVU9/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(6cafa49734f7bef9cbc870c4cc1e0b24).jpg)
“Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk1kTm04RkFETmg1dTR0VGgrUHpyeG8wYVBNdm5sZGRrTEdYWVNFMHJ2NlY1NCtJWDhqVTQxaEM3MmVpbURyMXpSSTZsNTlJd2hQMGpSYXZvT1d3cUNWdEFGRnREbUw4bnhpOEp4eUpYU04yWWFIQTZFMDhIcUlsOFlKTW5qUEIwWE80WU5mU2JQMHRWdHExR2kybyt2ay8zbTJWQjhOdXY5dGtJc2JlQi9E/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(adeff74b4560bbe198356fa892d70b0d).jpg)
“There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that’s lying about being milk.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYnZTYnZaeEFZYVBhWDhVZW41UWsxYTFVa2M1MkZWNDJmYXVCSzNUN1pkZWxIMFYvOVQzSWJ6Y2dBNW5mMzhHS2h5S0FmVitxN0FNQ0s3ditpSVpGVUE9/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(5c668f2680f6602801bb97abd6fac927).jpg)
“Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHh5eVljY3lmL05HZTNRT05RbDVNcm8rSnZjZENGczcrK29MbmZIMHVyWWpPUDBNYnMwdnozUnoxVzVHTWYwUjhWN2xXdEVyZmNrMjBQN3BtTThNc3hwbmFJNHZaS3FxLzRRa3l4WUdzQmQ%3D/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(3f52c183dfaf0ca5ccdd496ddeda7226).jpg)
“Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1FtV1k0TGp5Y3IydUd0T2h2QldKWkpOLzZCSnlMSEVubEhrV1k5S2x2WUFicTJOU1F2b0Q4QVFGdlpkS2h3NG56eElzVTZrdW9heVVzakxWQWVXUTBRMnFYYUYxK3hEdWF0aTNIaTE4eHp3PT0%3D/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(f3f9e72bbd05b95ec222fc126c5aeb04).jpg)
“I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY2RiQ002ZXFMWFNJQkZ3TWprMXVqM3k5bC8vOThadldYTzNyeXZrYi9vdDF1T0VBdXdKcTJOVzZ5bVBiYkNsY009/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(c8611ae9b665b29a72c3c1efbd1ef3df).jpg)
“I’m not a fan of emotions. I crush them.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYXYwaFgwZ2FTdCs3Z3VLckZ2WlMxUnFVNk9iMGlGOFlFMUhkSm1ZZ1dXTm5kVHJWbzhKZFVvdjZ3eVdNcEUxU0lQTHJaWlF5UkNYejQvQ1pGdXI2YVVkSi9STTVqQm9wdEZROUYzMEZxcVRCQkgwK0NxVWp2SHN1Z1ZLY3JBME1tZndqZ3Y1d3p0K0svMXhraWplY0g5ZjVPU2ZiVEI3aEM1eVN0ZHFFOTJkeHVzNzB3aE51b2NXSVlMWklza2hadz09/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(9760c0cf177104f4be24fe3dfbbebbe8).jpg)
“When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZUh0MUxjVXVsazIrMjJCWXIxRmE5N2xaK3lFY2w1QU5NUUVuaDN5Z0twaytzcDBzcDBYcGM0U21DUFF5N1d5MUE9/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(5e37c86aaa6b0fb706e2ef18084807b7).jpg)
“I’m not interested in caring about people.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU2wzQ1E1dWtzeHFkSkg5S2tUaTZoamkrRURlL21YeU1BbzBUaVFzVDRNZzQ2QkZWbDFXY1JDVUNmNXNVbUJZQ293YllmRVpLcWtDVHVHMjFQZEZTUmc9/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(b61949dc9e9b5f2baef4bcf21348a861).jpg)
“There is only one bad word: taxes.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVlBlTXFNZTZjUFFXYlN1VlFNVFRZUVhLeno4L0pqd2dsUDNqWnZsRzdyY2RHYlR5NTNkTWJ2RW1TS2xzcXZZYVljN1VUVWp2aG90QlM5cG05bVBwdzA9/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(5d0a7384aeecbf9ada3e6d5dd02ac43c).jpg)
“Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEMwZktISEtoMjcxekxWT0NCR0VYRnMyejl3TG9HZ1ZQbkVaYjFEL21ZazlzYW1UTk4yekV6d2VaRUZPQytnemxnY2lzemJKUUUyN0pDMzZ1ako3OHFjdmlxZk9qanZ6VW03ZUVmSzdEajlWNUtpR1IxSERPWjU5YTdaWUtrZHBFY3lINmJzYmQ0U2FkN21VZ05JNnZtRDJtNWl0OWVyV1pPM0RlUGt2QVhN/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(215afb45bc8e67bc23af47682462755a).jpg)
“Never waste time at an employee’s wedding. It’s like listening to a concert on the radio.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUM0eXQ5Q3ZVNjRzaTU0dUNPaXAvVEIrOTNoaGt4UnVqb2g2ajZXdk83NU5NTjdZU1JHTC9aeW5ieU00TUkxamh1NEVvdkMvbWlmeWJPdUFvdjNpSldHVVpkRStrOWFMUEo0Z1JOSHpmRWs2azBDZVlCNGEzUzF6WTBsNUVERjNiajVZenZ5djYxc3ZrSTN1eUxobksrSDdBWGV6WmZhWXJQR1BOSU5WSTdyK1FWREdscnRWb0ZEdnpQRHYvVGp5QT09/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(90bfecf13b3d08d02400364aa80622ae).jpg)
“I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible.” WILL I EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZmZGUDlvTWZaRWVaY2NJZlArWC9TT3hXVEMrNldpOE00WWlyY1RTaWM1YVNzckVJUmVENjJWWkZDWmJZSEFmYnp1Q3BRMUp5bUpUYmxGL0ZsMkpCK1RPNGY4QmtvWkpxVUZwUGtSY1RIdzRuWU9lVi8wOHFEVVVBaTMyV2FuYk5Ebk91VXJTbWpKNGR4R21XVlpzUG1hRTNhQkFWWEpoTXVJRzdmV3F1KzJSaGhFSE41VWdhMGRSY2dPTTdLVmM4dz09/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(09357c39a58874aed7fcb3228672f1ad).jpg)
“The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people anymore.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUxxMGhnWXRkMi9ReUprQ2l2Y3NtVXV6RkRhQUlwVGsraStHL1RCT3R4N2g2aU1TMWdHUlpLRkFEOFplUjNpNzIrR2s2U2oxajRnRlB3QmtKOGpvSVdPdWN4WjlYWkN6MlZkelNieGNKZXg0c0F6YWFldlJyQjlrSmttUllzT0c4c3dnVnJORlZsaHNCY1AzVmxKdXQ3c3Vqb2ZMZW8rRmlrbkJSejIwMlBrY1c0MHFjRkdWL084ZlpCL1V0eU8zWThOTWRHc04vUVZVczUzMjNudTcvaz0%3D/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(51b20d4e8c317f4c0a388c6d674c6c8d).jpg)
“I have been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It’s a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVdqa1BWUlFhbHB1MEZJR0R3RnA2U01CNGhJbytUZ0svNE9YSDhseVh6SDZwUVdSMXR2ZEthR2JUYnJVcElScVlOaUttUlprS1RmZTZIVEovdVl3eHBkTzJuVmF2Rno4REpKZWQ5S2tDZXMweDVxU1k2UzhXZGxKd2N2Q0NBNXNnPT0%3D/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(e31e6686c4979f2e4a0bf6e1e720ec2f).jpg)
“I stand by my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1ErNldUQm00dE94Q25FcytNc2UvRmY3OEdXa3R3LytXOUp4UERMbVNsUFJTNEt5Y3N2Tmt4NVltMFJDa2NqSm10VTFYenhlRlFOLytERzRoVUlGencwWXN3SXk5TGw1Y2ZCN0RaOTArU2hkUTlHVjdhQjRzTTFIa1FJSlQxY0NnPT0%3D/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(ceab907d946ca50b1cd319857d715124).jpg)
“Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVmZaWFl3UkJmZXlleXNNUE1EMjlHZ2pJMitDNGhlb2UwdzdDbXlnUEtPU29jaWY3bEltNlluTWRzbXZkTk80VjRHRk5oZFhuek5MWWV5NVBROTZ2M1k9/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(7c5768e2e9c3ccd5790b5941bb907efe).jpg)
“Friends: One to three is sufficient.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDalhSSEtlR25wMjJXZVNiaUpWdG9xSUlIRkJLQ0ZnVUZnQzVwWUNWcVFLZEIyTjRhQ3pwc2tPOG54QWlCMVBWaklsL2xHR1NDaVpYYlZWSktLek5zdzRXVmZDcU1Zb21KT2NhU1pDcmlHWDdMOEt0WE5BS1BrakpkV0szdDZDcmNSbmROcG1ZNTZ6anUzb09LZGdkcVRD/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(81242e9282fe62e932e554e2f9fb5a06).jpg)
“The only thing I hate more than lying is skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYzc1MWlmUWNhVTJPcVlUc0lXbGh6TjlRS21oMmZ1MzdzdGV5bE9tYWtPRTQ5bVNYMzd0M0tZaEFTR2RORFNGMGovOWJ4TjI5K3g2SWI0TnBZWGZWbndZMnNEb0toOW9oZ04vUUdud0dGSXJoUUV0UnpjWWJBc2lyRkVEK2FnMTVnPT0%3D/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(d2d7153c37dd6c15361e45338a60d2e8).jpg)
“Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVTNmY0VseGt2cUk5S1FMK3JzaWwrVXBGbGo3MkhsMXhSS3hLVGVPYUZtMmZoNndKUFozS2YraWVSOWp3N3ROcDYyb3I2NVN6SkVGTm9CT29tdFdHeG5EbHUzNmF1S1RCNTVKakc3NDczUjZiWEwxeE1lNkswMWNzbURLUGU1YzFKT3dCK21ZTlpDdzg5a05XSmw2NXJhaUdSbWduY1dpTEtHU0tzSkZFT0tTMnFEMDZpeUtUK3dSd3phTU5FK3d1Zz09/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(7f80f16d9fe2326036877df23272d8ab).jpg)
“It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWmw3YUoxQ2RIcHpPU3FJaVFKM3gyL3lsWExLODZIVEV3Z3hPM3dTcmdlRnBha1pJN2JLdTgwK3pnMk5ydTZxZ1dJZEdybWhaYXc0eHlYZ242ejBCM1Rib2gxZ0FrSi9oV3lWbWNHNnIra3dlTnVXdElEVkIxeTBGV3BkOFJML3dBPT0%3D/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(9b4d064857c423b81c1b00d216afe723).jpg)
“History began on July 4th, 177 Anything before that was a mistake.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU2wzQ1E1dWtzeHFkSkg5S2tUaTZoaFVaYWdJUllHT1VNVGszWmY4aFRuOEEwYTBZSmVhdUR4d2t2YjMvYTRzak9rSnhwRmpmdjZKTU1ZWlZrSWdFdXM9/FAMOUS+RON+SWANSON+QUOTES/(1eaa03b6fe42dea8210c1279bc01a5b3).jpg)
“There is no wrong way to consume alcohol.”