FATHER TED CHRISTMAS QUOTES

“And what is the deal with Santa Claus? He’s just a big fat bloke who goes around breaking into people’s houses. It’s a burglary, that’s what it is!” – Father Ted

“Ah, go on. Christmas isn’t just a day, Ted. It’s a frame of mind.” – Dougal

“Toy Show, vodka, you, me, hiding behind the couch… Just like old times.” – Father Jack

“Ah, Ted, I’ve been reading too much Dickens. I couldn’t walk around outside without shoving a turkey down my pants!” – Dougal

“I’m going to put on a real Christmas show. I want animals and fire engines and sirens and lights and legs, lots and lots of legs!” – Mrs. Doyle

“Happy Christmas, Dougal. It’s still the season of goodwill, despite everything I’ve done to ruin it.” – Father Ted

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year, all right. When we drink to excess and abuse one another!” – Father Jack

“I don’t care if he is a bishop. I’m putting his lights out!” – Mrs. Doyle

“I’m not buying Terry back! I’m buying forgiveness… which is a much better Christmas present!” – Father Ted

“Ah, shur, it wouldn’t be Christmas without a few squabbles, would it?” – Mrs. Doyle

“Christmas is a time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.” – Father Jack UPLIFTING QUOTES FOR MOTHERS

“Ah, feck Christmas!” – Father Jack

“Oh, the bells, Ted, they’re giving me the fear! They’re giving me the fear of God!” – Dougal

“Toilet paper?! It’s not glamorous, but it is the backbone of any civilized society!” – Father Ted

“Those were the days, Dougal. We’d all gather ’round the fire, singing songs and eating sandwiches. You don’t see that nowadays.” – Father Ted

“Well, Dougal, I must say this nativity scene is the best I’ve seen in a long time. Not a single reptile in sight!” – Father Ted

“The real meaning of Christmas is the presents.” – Father Jack

“Ah, the festive season. Who can resist its charms? Well, me for one!” – Father Ted

“Feck Santa! Right in the arse!” – Father Jack

“Ah, a lovely Christmas light show. It’s like watching Michael Flatley, except without the jumpsuit.” – Father Ted

“Drink! Feck! Girls!” – Father Jack (not strictly a Christmas quote, but a classic Father Jack moment!)