![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFc1OG1raWZub0p3WFp4bGlQRktzb2htbWNBajhYbkhTMHBjaVMwOEljT2R5cjNJekRVbXdVbDU0Ulp0LzN5YW1xT1hQOWRNakNrSTJCZXoxaGRsSnZUREFXR2VOTFRWQ09seVprSEtDNzdOa1BSLzVsQ2R1bnFSNWRDMnlvWnVyNkdmNkJlUUVNT0tZK2FOMG9UZmkxZEloM1ViRnYyK3VyUTVkS0FmMUFwdk9jY2tQWDhoQVBjdnFIYThnVlJDcmYzbTNHVlhXUDUrbXlxcVlsV3VQMEtTRE9XL2VmNm44d0NuR21qMXd1VEREL1RiUmtnbEhXaUNRRmQyTkJmbFptcG5rbjlPQ1QrM1dVWDNKWHBma289/FATHER+TED+CHRISTMAS+QUOTES/(e78a4f37dfaf4a072f11971c0edb3909).jpg)
“And what is the deal with Santa Claus? He’s just a big fat bloke who goes around breaking into people’s houses. It’s a burglary, that’s what it is!” – Father Ted
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“Ah, go on. Christmas isn’t just a day, Ted. It’s a frame of mind.” – Dougal
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“Toy Show, vodka, you, me, hiding behind the couch… Just like old times.” – Father Jack
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“Ah, Ted, I’ve been reading too much Dickens. I couldn’t walk around outside without shoving a turkey down my pants!” – Dougal
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“I’m going to put on a real Christmas show. I want animals and fire engines and sirens and lights and legs, lots and lots of legs!” – Mrs. Doyle
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“Happy Christmas, Dougal. It’s still the season of goodwill, despite everything I’ve done to ruin it.” – Father Ted
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMejVDT0ZZeHdXWE9UdzRFMzJnZEQrOElaWFhReFVtTWJQYTQvSVhyWjdnZHhiVjI4REpSd0FpS1NnVTZmK3UzWUVQQ2daWmo0NGJLSWFDdXZvNGVqeVgzV3VnSXZqZ0RQTHRQbjFESUIzalo4NXpWb3gzNUZncnhoYk4yNFQ4YWJZM05RZHlpOVlRNkNkeWJOMmc1RGR2eU5OSUoxd0s5WXdOZ3ljSWZYb21maVpVb1B2NWdPUjNlZkFpTzRNSi9CZz09/FATHER+TED+CHRISTMAS+QUOTES/(13a69000b4c6a73c34b8b9c98114c86f).jpg)
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year, all right. When we drink to excess and abuse one another!” – Father Jack
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“I don’t care if he is a bishop. I’m putting his lights out!” – Mrs. Doyle
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“I’m not buying Terry back! I’m buying forgiveness… which is a much better Christmas present!” – Father Ted
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“Ah, shur, it wouldn’t be Christmas without a few squabbles, would it?” – Mrs. Doyle
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMenFwQzZteElYSTJqZ2dBSWdHZC9XTnp3U21ZSStHSjNTWlFDUWw3dXNCV1BkRFhhUmw3ZTE0aWlqU1Z0SVdWK2Q0SGtOa01JOTNZbDlLaU5uYnI5d2lyOXRqNmgxTW93TmtSUDlGZDV5Njk4dlhBTy9HR1dQbktURmRzUlFJOXRVMk1zK1J1YVc4UCtvNGFDQkhqU3VBaUYvU0tOdDlYaGhDUFlHUU5sVlYyYkJXNm10cGcyNzRSbXRsSWJWNFpZTDMvV3lkRjZwTEE4dmZPSDF2dVY3VT0%3D/FATHER+TED+CHRISTMAS+QUOTES/(8878bd8611c815483a8992882fdafbb5).jpg)
“Christmas is a time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.” – Father Jack UPLIFTING QUOTES FOR MOTHERS
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMldOVUVxQTJZcnBIUzFYR1RuYi9YMDNKdFBhWmg1MENiQ0lnMmZxVSt5SXB5SVVJVk42ZEJGcU03amEwZE9rcm9ocWhPNHF5L21yRDdhU2dlUlhlVDA9/FATHER+TED+CHRISTMAS+QUOTES/(b8ebfc76f71d0fe2ff03e072ece067bd).jpg)
“Ah, feck Christmas!” – Father Jack
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd2dseklMM1haWHhtdzBKL2J1TzF1TW1aNXN6ZkRaWFNLS01FV29JM3dSY3RnYzdWdU4yakFGUU1rU1NXRlo0bXJBNHhqdDZnc1BhQUo1VFBacENBcDhxMkd3NWZCRTBHaWdXOVhzNm13SmdWeldGeE1aQ0VqRHFKdlR5UnZEUllxR3h6SE5ibG5FTlplT1VYRFJkcmUzZjRWUVNGZG9qbXR1TXFnQzNLZFBN/FATHER+TED+CHRISTMAS+QUOTES/(aac27377dc9e22189560d6af0d69cb41).jpg)
“Oh, the bells, Ted, they’re giving me the fear! They’re giving me the fear of God!” – Dougal
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“Toilet paper?! It’s not glamorous, but it is the backbone of any civilized society!” – Father Ted
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeUpVOGdjVVZudTFzOXQzR2ZDbVVxa21IdmtjcW1OU1BxTjhkZi9YMWdTQ3FNNUdGNzFISlArL0EzK2VnSkZoWEc3dGx1b1RNbFFDNUxETXBLRHdVZlV3ZmR4OUQybjkyUVI0UzNlZmdSU2hIc0dEQ2thSXgrcXNqQlh6WUlsek8yMWhFVTcxQ3JpM0ZxRSt3RTd1QVM2QVR1Skd3a2ZuellWQk85bFBzVkx0ZldCRGQrcWJyN3lTck1NZDkrNEVCOWpEeUhKN0J4RmR2eWtUbll3d1RicStQMHdWU1Iydk1HZTNWL0NzMzdrekJGcEMyV1lWRlQ1VXBvUDZqSTZjNVE9PQ%3D%3D/FATHER+TED+CHRISTMAS+QUOTES/(2a8b6fea2924a446fee68a5fe6e12e52).jpg)
“Those were the days, Dougal. We’d all gather ’round the fire, singing songs and eating sandwiches. You don’t see that nowadays.” – Father Ted
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNDdsREYyU1BLQVhpNis0d3VBY0hFOWNrVHk3a2JsalNNZ011TmVnWHlhNUtlcGtldDlBL3ROQ3B6Q2xYbnl5Umh6UUxjR2thUEJCcWxUcXhEZ24zcnE4Z1o3ZEVqZVNxaHRpcjB0WFFZRUhVaFZuN2MwNWFEVE1TYmRwUkh2ZmJzSmtlV3JXQ0JaYWJ4TVpMUGhBNDhSY1VDclZmRHVBUENpUEVlTXBBVnJ5S01UK01NZ3hVeVRXSHAveU5WMnlVdmxMUUJoNDVyUmswYTFXcStnMVcxND0%3D/FATHER+TED+CHRISTMAS+QUOTES/(06566d03545a534ab77792d686c8b42a).jpg)
“Well, Dougal, I must say this nativity scene is the best I’ve seen in a long time. Not a single reptile in sight!” – Father Ted
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“The real meaning of Christmas is the presents.” – Father Jack
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeTFmbWYyWmpVYWgvVENMaUEwc0NqQmJzelZIZFVpK2dXZ052NjJXWHk4MXF3ajhpYXJXSThEMEp5ekpqZXpqWUR6S2Nxbkk4NWd6RlMzT0NJTVpKZkd6bG9iYlhZUmJvSkcyRGxjcFVoK1h2VDZkL0RibDNocm5mYVZkQ2pFa0x5akRWWWtyT2NYTjBtaHNmNGpIT1JrPQ%3D%3D/FATHER+TED+CHRISTMAS+QUOTES/(c943fd0635dc9feaa15622f9450e283b).jpg)
“Ah, the festive season. Who can resist its charms? Well, me for one!” – Father Ted
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“Feck Santa! Right in the arse!” – Father Jack
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0QyY3dUbTJ2V3gxdndrYmJlaEo4UitsaFUyNE1qcUR2ekUybVZWZitjU2htMDJQSGFPNW4xUHlTTnpNUjc1Y3UyYmY1QkdxeUJYemMrTWNsTHZaQWZHRmg1M25hVUVuT1NURFRIVWliQUtGaWhuRjFTV0xJemI4TC9ITDlHTVd2Z0FMM1R5empMZHRpYTh5cndFMGpRRkhSdmVEY2I4QWMraVJteFJnRms4c0RjSUhxWVN0SkJxVWhRblhRakFXdz09/FATHER+TED+CHRISTMAS+QUOTES/(062ac4f45265915fe312cf9d91471a9f).jpg)
“Ah, a lovely Christmas light show. It’s like watching Michael Flatley, except without the jumpsuit.” – Father Ted
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMTdQdnlsR0Q5VDRLbU5TcDdMayt5RjdTWUZVRmNBYlJnLzN6NmhuUnN0YldOK0NDblpYbnFwWnA2MEhlTlBjdGdJUWNvYmN3Nkl6c2w5OXREZ3ZVUmh4d0xyWkU1Qm5rYnNEWHg1dkNtK1M3WlFpbUxXZkJJRXc5Q3BHcFVUbmdJdEF4Zjl5QTYwcExGdk5HM0tYSUluWTRrc1ovVysrNXNrdDNKalFzbUJE/FATHER+TED+CHRISTMAS+QUOTES/(eed3d92b7b8cafb8c0dce07a6a23fced).jpg)
“Drink! Feck! Girls!” – Father Jack (not strictly a Christmas quote, but a classic Father Jack moment!)