![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUThla0x2SnhlSkh6VGxMWFpHRW9ac3VwdkEyUXlzYlphNnVxc1hBeWRyMGVDTENvQjc1Z0tob3p6OW5pU0VyRnc4QjUvNzRkSERRR0xSTVNZejc2aXZDVlFLc0FNaHlUZ2tVOEpXdjY4a20%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(4c238fd31447829187fb91a658dedd80).jpg)
“That would be an ecumenical matter!” – Father Ted Crilly
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1BiU3VxVW50bWJGeVV2YmlzcnUzaDZRUFJqQnhpZXVYbEkrV1V6MXpTSlU4aHh0WituTDF3NFBoU3I5VHdzdkZicjJiaWRNck9qTlhLY2pCY3M1VDAwZHNFRStvNmlqYUc0Z1BPRlcxNjE%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(a7782376f73e6ba39a75a1b41027d334).jpg)
“Down with this sort of thing!” – Father Jack Hackett
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkNZRW1XQXRCY3B5QXZQVDdBL29KZ3htb0JLbktGc1prM20zL05VeG9ONjJnOXZuZTV6ZlJNTHNwblFpR1lyZUJ3RlVkZlhJOURJUEdXUnR2YWg2YTU0MG9BdngxL0wxb1NLMzlGVHk5TWg0OGRZVHdaVjZUUmN0RU04OUJyb2E1UlR3YXlydzlsdy9GUGxSVDFVclh5ejdBVi9MNHRIbnZNSmorV09qaUZJNXRXOURsMFhwSEdTUW5xVUpwSzR6dGNoOXoxbklUbnU1bC9GcmtFeTB3Nw%3D%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(f7a176f9c7a9f371daa29f5df4249202).jpg)
“I’m not a fascist. I’m a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do, whereas priests…” – Father Ted Crilly
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY09UN254UTgveDVUQThmWmpqL2xERkJPTDVRRFd5ei9seUIzcEhqbUxYaHVYMTgza1FOeFZYYUxPc3lQRHBkZzVzYjlRQmNpNWpvNm5ZbGpmeTZERHprdmNFNTFMZnQyTkJDMjJxTlQ1U0svZDBxRnc2OS9sd2xVN1RpdUVLYWlRPT0%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(474d0620b57a70cb17ecd8aa6eb5d02a).jpg)
“The money was just resting in my account!” – Father Ted Crilly
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUnU4clEyYUNzbDlBbDBIM2dxdXRGbTcxM2lsNmJaRHJwWEsyKzZNQlhnQW42R2NENEordDFZRE52bnlPTk9UN0kzTWRydmZTTnFiNy85TEpWalFxcEhuT3VPTWFFQUh6VEhaSHkxRzlQY3lya0FaRWR3ZE1jNjd6R1d3QmxnOEhBPT0%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(90c3b84e76d0fdb88e707c4a39a9d10c).jpg)
“I hear you’re a racist now, Father?” – Father Ted Crilly
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkhEQjd0S1l2SGNqWk5uQitFVlZMRmRWd0lqWUtiQzRkOXM5a3Z6clQzR0l6Y0pCV0pwN2hhclZ1YXFreEVaYmdqQWc5V1NXQnhuQnZkZEhVVlRwV0FFd1RCTk5QT1dleVNDZlo5M3ErRFBUYVgzTHZ3UWhUN0QyVzNyTTNBQ0RmOXBWVXdJRXBTeE1aQ0pWZFcxVGJBbzN5azdBSGVMK3RtZWpSS3BWWUNJ/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(8ddd87e772438248e66a2217e07c98dd).jpg)
“You have to move with the times, responsible people use contraception now.” – Father Dougal McGuire
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0FmdHdPQ3RtczFIUkFldDU4NjdmdTlOUlhXZDByd2IzRGFQTWNIcXV0Ky8zMjA0dXJtYlNrMUk4REJCSkQrb0orSm9xdXNQUVMreVRrNHlIbVVXTDVyOWhsTGVvOXdUN1hqMjFVZ2VFQS9xaE42YWUyUDdIb1VURlV2LzNkeUdmemM2bW5yK28yMGMrUDZSM1RNdXl5/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(c0b4eb50cd6e1d902fdfee126c836327).jpg)
“I’ve had to lie constantly or nobody would have listened to a word I said.” – Father Dougal McGuire
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZjlXaDBtU0poZi92VU96MEhTYnBlRzVhemZ0UStzelh0OXU1dGdmejErQ0xxR3pVTzZwTjZBdHE1SXVITmZMMjhMeVJnV0plR0RUWW93azlnZEJvdmUrQjgrZXIvSllGOElUVlhCNktZSlBnPT0%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(7ebb047695266dd96a6b20c353c2d81b).jpg)
“I’d love to go, but I’m not going to!” – Father Jack Hackett
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjZ3U1ZOdGpsQ3o1cUhSRVRURzdmQkFUWm1XRm92M1J5VTNLRXIyUmRlSElmU2d4UGR3T25BYXNFYXpTZkd4Q2RHNEFFZUVIOHdHaUhwSzBzNUtISXc9/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(7dfb0213a4af56aedb37b448ad0fa617).jpg)
“Drink! Feck! Arse!” – Father Jack Hackett
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWDdzZWp0T0prbUt2ekNDQkZSMjA2NHplVko0WDZvV0tORytOcHNKek5oZUlXczNBYVdvQmphVVBwL1JybTVDVXF3ck5RR2FSa0pkZTE5Z3VHTUoxYktMVmdhNExiK2F1UHJ2ZWN2R0tycjVaQ0haRndJZWNTbWRGS3NzZWdtWHAzZXArVnN5eG1IZExlWGZLMldHaE5zPQ%3D%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(b385a69d015a073ff3dd45b30c1cb4ca).jpg)
“Would you stop sucking those feckin’ mint leaves!” – Father Jack Hackett
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUmhpSWh5cGxUZitsN2dwRWZEYWo3azBNVVJaR3o4N0ZhMzhodUlEU3BXYWRITmRHN01wS2dsRFNYUXNaT3pnT2dTVDBhYkJjeHFKczBMMXh5bmZPNnp3NG53SkxJZ09VejVNK0hjMTBzOTFMSVdHamhSUm90Tm5OQlBUcVE2UEpRPT0%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(f99b4ffda5ca74164dce688608efe5ec).jpg)
“Careful now!” – Father Ted Crilly QUOTES ABOUT SUMMER AND FAMILY
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVTNmY0VseGt2cUk5S1FMK3JzaWwrWEpnaFlScDVoSG5JWUxuN1NNV2dEWlpWRjdzQnQvMGl4czlzcUlpNGRlN3NBSFpaOHc0WUhENXRFQytQZjFtQ0R4YkFCYmtjMmxUVEI4ZVBxT2NMZ0F0dHM0bDVjQ0lxMXRiVm43bko0VC9ONjRuMVdkRWRsL3owMXdiTGFOREEraDdJN3g3R2JmNk5Gdk1WVmtTd1VXdVVpMHVxMEZUQzhwUC8xSThJaUlxUT09/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(fa51c87c473e0acba254bdd1c3db8ee4).jpg)
“It’s like a big tide of jam coming towards us, but jam made out of old women.” – Father Dougal McGuire
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZmV0TzRuZ0VrWExmb0V3ZGh2ZGNxcHNNOEdTZVl0L0Q2TWpVbEtFcHM1dXJrTXYwb21PdGhGazMyZ2J1QlVCZXQ3L25Qc2lsaFFQM3VpcVMvQ2d4bm8yWTJRb2FGVkNObGRWc0FGSlJRbDlZQ1dMa1BhVlgrNFp1RUl4ems2YzVLSTF1NFMrQlVHL2p3REtwK3FLMHhTYUZ1QWtwbXZXbnRJN2hTdUIreWxo/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(4d7f8c8d72265fc17d503e64d1b39aa0).jpg)
“I can explain everything. And I will. I’ll explain everything.” – Father Dougal McGuire
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUmNlemNoU1JzZTZONk5DbXVaSWl2TlZ4eXVsZTczUVllZHh1WC83RWFVd21nb0JUUDNtalZDNllNNVh1dSsrSnA2TjhTcS9CYm45Zzh2TERTVW5UYmNsRWc3NHlyZE1XR2p5bFJZUEY4eE8vYk9NQm1QNUZlNFJjYlRjajQxVnVlYUFZK0VpYkRKV0czMUZGa2RKN2pjPQ%3D%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(cc1597b9c94bcffef162924450a70dbd).jpg)
“I can’t sleep with you two standing there like a pair of burglars!” – Mrs. Doyle
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVHNZRzB3d29uMCtaaFhITVdPWWdEUisxTDl2cFlqVWhwMEpCc0l0d2c3R0ViTXlEeFFxZ3FpR1NldFZCQk5iSy9QUkY3L2FyODFkNUJVK05iL0FpSDNpSk9SM0pkVlBtbVRFN1kvc1I0bWo5MnFLNEdxYVl1TG9Xa2xhSDltbWpTK0RMTWlnMEYrb1hhVTdZdURiaHN0TWZpRWNBWHJKbHhXQkZYcGVKSmFuaEwycEtHcHNDclQxTlhqSzBCSnNIdz09/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(585287ff58b44872f31cddd85a45b6a7).jpg)
“Ted, I’ve got something to say to you, but I don’t know how to put it… I’m leaving.” – Mrs. Doyle
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVzRWRDRib3B4NThhczNwZ3pIRWpZY0dMMDdtV010TllpUWVWeE5ic1JtQ0ZKMlpTTTNDQkp2ZW9GTTdFVnpHaUcxRWgxaE1ham1QMjRlYVNNYWtSMDUxelFUM1M4dEszWHYzYi9QbHU0U0lZUzJ1MjFNQTVBU0J1aVFQaUFBd05UNDd5MUdGTGRiQURZRDNsY0UwclRZPQ%3D%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(fde0b16883ac0837c1035564afbd6006).jpg)
“I hate funerals, Ted. The women always take it worse than the men.” – Mrs. Doyle
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZmw5UkpKZWxnWUp0OVVMSGVQU3FmNCtjeWxqdkNxZFZSM1dPMVc5MG1mTTZhTXZQK1R1ekdpUElVWUxwN1RXVjlSY084NUNxUytxbEx4RkQzVnBSUEY1MUZMMjJWR2VkTXF2c2trN1BYZXpMa3FpV2xqL1R3YW1Wa1lEY0pEVE5jclRtTkNnSzYxcGd4RlVheWVSQ3hRPQ%3D%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(284d27f45d646b06db166251507b9f8f).jpg)
“Am I right in thinking that there’s going to be a lot of drink taken?” – Mrs. Doyle
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUJDN2JVUTNnVFlzaVU2YkViSVo3VTc1NCsxTGdhVWpucHhkeXpwejV3ZXhSc2lteGFadEtaTUVzV0JSSmU2K1ZKaStBalZXbkFLckZNYzFab2RISUFoZmZ0SHFVd3VUSkR0OGVOb1dIUG1LQVJvdTEwbE5SN1d1L0N2emlGWERxWHJKNkc1WjJWZDlSTDl5V2EwTE1vPQ%3D%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(3234565eab7294f74941a20ed50e5aab).jpg)
“Of course I do! God almighty! Stop with the feckin’ questions!” – Father Jack Hackett
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZG9aUk9xcDVnQ05ESXdFajB1M0ZPYVhwSXp4RGgwbVJZUDUxRFdMY1dFZTNqamFBRHlQRHg2cVN0NFhMUEgwNDlHRGdmUnpUZE55UnM4SUh0YkhhVjZNS25tN3hoUWdnSWY4M282Q2l4Rjc%3D/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(7e15b4128cadaa770bda275a5a8bf7b1).jpg)
“You can’t give it away, Ted!” – Father Jack Hackett
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0IwZGNQc04xQm5YK2FCcGtQZk0xVmJqeWhoVTA0eW5qanlXeGFXc3dJektNZ2ZLTFpJcFdCSmlSaTA5c1NsRml0T3JzUUU2S0tmUlNQR1pkWFlselpsTEIwWXkvNnpQT2oxcEN6bmhwTHZFOEJyNlpqSE1wcVl6RmVNU2ttTCtLSzRMTWlzN3oxK2RqbzdpQ2x2MEtJSWtvT1o3NUVmTS8yK2VlOEJSR1ln/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(2c2c32e642664c317bdbdebc49e88179).jpg)
“Go on, Dougal, try it on. Oh, wow, it’s perfect! It’s never too late for romance!” – Mrs. Doyle
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWXltSzROZVpwSUtrQlQveE1DZ2ZKR08xTjlHeGJiQUJIbDRKdHlTRDU5cGtXMHlPZm1WL2VNOTV3TS9FMEI1L2lYK1k5RGFDbThBOXFiNmIyNG9SdGQzVk9IaG9DeUpvZ1hBRW44cWp2ZnJTNWpxc0lRdS9Ib0IxWmo1MFVPanJ2WG9tMHphcFplQ3pjN2l5N3lka1VBb0U4LzgzNCtoaENMSWN2bTNvNThuejI0a3RJNDdnZUJqa3VwYjBUWEs4UT09/FATHER+TED+QUOTE/(4497a6b3f73978cf270f1a3038bc2a2d).jpg)
“Ted, I have to tell you something. I want to confess something. I’m not actually a priest.” – Dougal McGuire