FERNANDO ALONSO FUNNY QUOTES

“I’m not a crazy person. I just have a crazy job.”

“Racing drivers have ballsless arms and fearless heads.”

“I’m afraid of three things: spiders, my girlfriend when she’s angry, and bad pit stops.”

“If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.”

“I could be a stand-up comedian if racing cars didn’t make me laugh so much.”

“I’m not short, I’m just closer to the ground, which makes me faster.”

“If you want to win, stick to the plan. And if the plan fails, improvise and blame it on the tires.”

“I may be an F1 driver, but I still get lost in a supermarket parking lot.”

“In racing, as in life, it’s always better to be overtaken by a beautiful woman than a slow car.”

“People ask me why I risk my life driving at such high speeds. I tell them, I’m just trying to get home faster, like everyone else.”

“My favorite strategy in F1 is to let the other drivers pass me and then surprise them by overtaking them later. It’s like a magic trick they never see coming.” HURT DISOWNED BY FAMILY QUOTES

“It’s not about winning or losing. It’s about seeing how fast I can go before crashing.”

“I’ve learned that if you aim for the moon and miss, you’ll float in space and become a legend.”

“The secret to my success? Eating pizza before every race. It’s my fuel of champions.”

“My favorite part of racing is the champagne shower. It’s like being caught in a rainstorm of success.”

“I once raced against a tortoise. I won, but it was a close one.”

“I’ve never been a fan of speed limits. As an F1 driver, I prefer to think of them as suggestions.”

“I’m not superstitious, but I always wear my lucky socks on race day. Not because they make me faster, but because they smell lucky.”

“The only thing I fear on the racetrack is a hungry seagull aiming for my helmet.”

“I’ve crashed more times than I’ve passed my driving test, but nobody seems to mind. I guess it’s the ‘Alonso effect’.”