![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWGxwZm1yRC92TmhxUldZK1lDVDY3WmR6SFYzY3JQZlVSdzdocHBQZXZwZWhRM0ZYaERIeFFBaGVmM0Fmb0pReTExOVNaVk9zWTI4Q1d1RmNueXdoblorbzhMeTVRanNEM2xaeFE5Q2N3SnZhdDBocC9rRW9DL1JZeFgvWGNjKzhNcnVZVTd2T1IvWkgvTnJIK05oeTlKSUV2NDVxNlhiU3pkaTJpNGhpdVZUWVlxWFBSVXI5NjBIMk9HcU5UbVZYTGV2ejZ3R2VScGVBbHlEOGNzZUM4cVVzU3ZBN0xqcEgvSUtrck53R2ZtNQ%3D%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(deaee7f6c4e03c7a62732092006d7fe7).jpg)
“Being a first-time mom is like being an unpaid intern, except there’s no coffee breaks and your boss is a tiny human who can’t communicate.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZmh3QkhLelVPNExEdTA4d3N0TzRIelJIQnhwbmRmck4ySXlPRnZ4QzAxTW9qSmU3SzBXRGxHbTF4NGZUbDR4aGRIcVFDMUdpNzQ3YnZmNm54YjRacFU2OUFsc3FuSUxXTW1POUl2MUhmVCszc3ZISDF6YXZzT3k5V0dQNEI0Vy8zNUJvNHRRZ1NRR3RPN1FuSkdIZ3ZqZ1h4QWxTRWh1Yk9ZVGtTUmRucmV4/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3e4b7dc47898ca7766ecd9f7739019bd).jpg)
“My definition of multitasking now means being able to take a shower while monitoring the baby monitor.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDM1VEw2K1Eyb1J6YytiWStCL2xDbkJsbzh4Y0EvVHh4dGg5YnlIdUU4NzFtamN6b3JJcjZydllHbE9VTnpvL1M2NnpnN1hjM0U5Rm54Z0trSHo3Q2NPRnQwdDVUNkVrdWNINEFZTjUzS3J3V1RxSEVvZlJuVVFQenBlaExmYUJleldmeUNrNUwyZWxIWGRsZ2xDTmpZbjdKM21maVlsM3ovVkJ0djdRdDFq/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(f7b9c253f30fdb6b40fbb5b04c8ca736).jpg)
“Sleeping like a baby? Yeah, right. More like waking up every two hours to check if the baby is still breathing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBtekJ3ZUMyMnhjTjQ0L3I2NG1KUVpLRlFBYU5CdHNTNUFhVnIvZ1VpdnRJQjVEQllGa3VqUm5Bdno1WTJtNkJpL2VVUUFRYTdha2VoQzRVOGZVYVd6V3V3dVNXa3l6MUF6elloNUc4MFh1ei92c1pUZmpmbHU0ay82YTgwcFJZMGRyc0dDTWYzajlxZWNZMldoaVR4ZmtF/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(217e5f248752d8a35c92d97e5b6b5c0a).jpg)
“I used to sleep like a log before becoming a mom. Now I sleep like a cat, with one eye open at all times.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZllVR3h5cllHRndqVU0xajgvNlNuVEt0NGMvQUw2b1F2UVNDc3hOWDZGNDBGeEVVdEd1WjJxRG8yTWtsSjA0dU4yd1BsMWszSmR0S0VnOW95ZVpmOWRwVkw3S2k0Um5peituZmZCY0hydU5KcEJHaHF5d0RtZVFyMkVFYlF0MVBnPT0%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(4d089a877475683bc5b2ed73bd54860d).jpg)
“Having a baby is like having a tiny alarm clock that never stops ticking.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWTk3LzZwY0VuT1R0eDE1OStxQ3NUVHVBWGhJaDdOWVVScWZQblFlV0NWczMwRWFSdmtrRCtHSmN2cFVRNDRrWEthMDVNU09PdjVubjlMRlRGdzh2UDZiRzJPQmN0V0tsZTNyeGw5WGF1NHN5Z25FblhTK3BaYmF5TDdoakIwMTNRPT0%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(5c00b8819e37411df832710c5bc56c64).jpg)
“Whoever said ‘sleep like a baby’ has obviously never had a baby.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVUtHTXZjQWRBTm8wNDJMK1NUaXlqRFBhTExybHFYL3RSTW04ZUpuWmF1Wm5QRkM5NUlvdnRHUDNraU5jYmJJMlFXMXd4UytOTjJQVjJnWnJSc3hnYzFVYUVzSUh4QjNKYmVnNllRVU1ucXl2T21LMmFFelRYV3prRXFTVGQ5dExVdnhFbnBpUXlvRzFDNmJ5bXRESFNyUTAralNnMXFTQnhMMUJEWHFKK2ZN/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(1053dc75aaf2928dd15f0ebed458d8b6).jpg)
“Babies are like adorable little dictators who rule your life with their demanding needs and cute smiles.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkZvSldTWFlhR3l4a0VJTlhPaFl4aThlK0xqek83SCtZNFN3dGo0YlhuTm9WdE1iUkJZUVVreFRHTWp0SVcybnVXRzNlYVhpNTlhMkRxWlNIS3oxRnY0dU8rSFc3YUFmdytZZVZndkJvdHQ4S2lRRnNPb3pVeWJqb1pqaHFMUS9SWjlyNEF0Y3JILzE0eWFMTmp6ZHJsQWVZQjZRSEpZMHlZbVB0TGtNWGxE/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e6df1a2e18401cd5535934476a6ad593).jpg)
“Being a first-time mom means learning how to survive on minimal sleep, coffee, and sheer determination.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteEdYenhzWkxPdkx6Y0d3N3hhOHZZZy9jelFqMzV5R2FUWjJmUktaZmlGYzhTMVpNc1ErdURvWU9VL2pueW1mWEltaExON3JUTXdCYVFUQk9HTDViaHE3UksxRmZBR2JnZ04xTGJjaVVMRWl0K01SOGxrRHBWS3BJRU1FVExlbzJ5Rk1zS0J5c0d2Y1NLbUNOaEY2TDlkZDhlc1VFQXNGZkErYld4N0sxWUFROEYrb05ISUoxQ1NzK3c1WDVCVGYwZz0%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d2457ad72c0729ab272abffad1c5d16f).jpg)
“I used to take countless selfies before motherhood. Now, my phone is filled with countless pictures of my baby’s adorable face.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxYcnQveC9ic3RZZ2VOdEIzbWdFSTlzTDdoUDlFM0pZZTdXNlZUMVl5RE1pdGxJbDdSZmJpanhNQ2g5d0hwZHgvZndEOVJGTitDdlhjU0lteUVLbWtIL3dER2c2TU1PN24vRXNSY05GT0tFc1FHQ1lvam5SZUNwVE9VcnFrUFRLYmdlc2NxZUFBemlETFR2aE1QMEg0PQ%3D%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a41651cbfbc3ef2a0dd2c90fe30226fa).jpg)
“I never knew I could love someone so much and simultaneously be so exasperated by them.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWmgwU1UwUjZieitxSm9wK0d5TnV6dlpiaTJ4TTloaWYxSEpnQ1JWWXU0ZkFybHRjUS9GaUN5NUdFNUsrQlhhS0xqTnZnQmZoMWN2aWpTUERNSkZ0aDlLQnI1NWZnZ0tCeEdDazg2SUsrZU80eDU0WS9mVmRaYk5wRjBqV1lxcHFjQ0REZUNvbTdtRmFVWjdUSHVxdVdNNWNhL0MzZFN6dFlteUkzdVl3OGdEaThROStiVWo5L0VQWU9EYk5WZExHTkg3RVBwL3Z1VFVPeUUvWDBaSjJPR1FkeFhOUy9PQVRaSm9EcmNSU2p1TQ%3D%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d32101f40d8566bfc2dd628d59210257).jpg)
“Before motherhood, I thought I was busy. Now I laugh at my past self and wonder what I used to do with all that free time.” FOOTPRINTS QUOTES GOD
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteTRZUktxcmpKRXVqRVlPQnBNQk41Y3p4YXdUZTJ4am9FRXZWR3RVdXc2cHdxNXNGZzZqdUQ3cFU1bHB0RnlpYlZ4WEtmTHppYk45RXdKUGhOa3c0Mm9mZ0RGcloxMWI2ZzVZZVBBOUMwTDRvTGhZQXdmd0Zvb3lUa243VEZRZUpUZEZvQnZSbGtudmpOTGtxZGxBa0RISDl2bDNSRGVtSStqZytVM1lvZDYvQT09/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(711c33a11280f2494b2bc1de779d3e2c).jpg)
“I used to have a social life. Now I just get excited about adult conversations that don’t involve baby poop.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXNOZnR1SncwK2dxZXZlMGhNaWlaZXNFTWNQcjhjODJWYWdxYk9NQnVFOGJvN0E0Tno2Ky9kbkJ2bVhPRlc1MnB2NUJ0V0NYTVJlbVFhWGJQdFlVQ2k5QWlZcDFabE9Zc05XbVBzOUxNTjRYQkFuMHF2RHA3RE05OUU4K1ZZNnZhSFlzWnlWemxaOUlUQW9sV3JaWFVvPQ%3D%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(868923fa41e28fedcb236166e54e68df).jpg)
“Motherhood is like trying to solve a constant puzzle, but the pieces keep multiplying.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1dCaTVQR2Y5VFpSbnhvdUNjWnN3QkJlaEJuMjBXc3NwSk5tNHJMZ280RTdCNHNDUTlKWDhJelhSYVVMbUNnaldyaEhSNyt4ZXNkMXV3bGlnMzJpK3VnaG52ekQ1cWlGRzBXL1JGcmdCNlN1M04vL1NWdE5qVXJWc3poKzFlRTZ3PT0%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(5f950aec64b297939d69bb3969bdb161).jpg)
“First-time mom tip: Invest in good dry shampoo. You’ll thank me later.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkc0R2lFUWxaeUtWOVBrUmRaU0l1Tk9oT0NlbHZydzVhUUJ2bzRVTmczMmhTU1F3U055SzBBMFhNZlpaT2YxNzBBcitUOFNTcUI1WjBFTDdoL1o3Y2lBb0pyUG41eEt2TndYYTREY3ljUnNlZVZhTUpqM0JqYzZOQTY4cFcvRStjbndpRU9qcUJnaTZuWFdmTlU0RjhoNmhkMmlGeDNXZ3dnVFpYSkhJSlY2MGtrTnBtSkcxUHV6SDFNRUpwUEZ5dz09/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c69fd58645e9860d9f38cf90205f06f8).jpg)
“Every day feels like a marathon, but at least I’m getting some killer arm muscles from carrying around a baby all day.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXNOZnR1SncwK2dxZXZlMGhNaWlaZHM2dFZFL2tpaTd5Vzh3QldtVElBTkFSa3NMVHQ3aEh3SkFlaU96NXEzTncrM2RwZVBzdjVkRmsvc1lUQnA0dVBjczBqOWFycFVuVTFWbWl1cHJIYnFFSHF5dC9GZ2s0UDh2Vm1Bc096Qjk0eDFjUmEvNnNvenVsVjRtSEpFVjdCd0lZRTVDVk5NYyt2Y3VGSisxTXE4aC9IWGoyd0VHcXhvZ2pOR1Vua0JtZz09/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(4be86dacebd37d96df8269a9f828701c).jpg)
“Motherhood is the ultimate crash course in patience and selflessness. And I thought I was already a patient person.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDaVJWSDNxcFcyd3FJcmFpb1l1Tk5hdW9PTjZlWmZDc0VGd0JtOW1qTFM3UTk3WTQ2aUNQZHFEN2JVOVk2SlpuaUM5d2JpUHRTUWxWYVZpN1J3Ly8rOERIUzBmeWxjay9jaGFxNTQrbWE1ZmR4K0tvODRMUmtLckRPV29YU1Z1QnEvanQ3V2Z4SWRhbDI3UWhKZzBLc3hXcWZXT1dVMjM5OUxXSE1NdERxTkpvczFtaDlzT2NWd2hUL1lZZ1RyL1lUTT0%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(1c68cfc687359153ee0406d3ef73d0df).jpg)
“The only advice I give to new moms is to expect the unexpected. Because babies have a way of throwing curveballs when you least expect it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXQ5YVdSc3ZkTmNVUzh1cy9RL1pyR2ZvS3dza3VsMTRCVWZERE96cXkwV0Y2L0p2Q1MyZG9tUWorcXFHcEFyaGIySElwekZGeXVJbGR1YVpJbnNlMmVxaWlPa3BKQUtsRTcwZmxmdU5lOE83WlptN3VXUTlCNUVvZFhrT0liV0FyZjE5UVZoVUptY0NhOXFvYjJKd093PQ%3D%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(690e8edc71ec11f42f476f9b842e90f2).jpg)
“Parenthood is all about making plans and then laughing at how absurd those plans were.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkx4d1ZmaEJpQ3hFR0oyM3MzSVF0REd3WXBUUHpIQ2d1MHJpYTIwRG9XZW52ZHZJek9pWFptdGpVUUFONzJWWTQ4TFd1UXFheURnaHY4aXFKUmYwcGZyaHpvcHZBSTJZcFNtYlJnbWROTXV1NWYvMlNOWlBENkR4eVI0S0ZRT3dvS1BwMmFmMGNlNS9DVUJPc1lZdFkvV0I3M1lSUEdLNmpwMjcxemlhVm9LOTRpbmxrRnhwQlRVVXNXT0V3YmliN2lZeUhPZXlSeXFKZ2tUcXVzOVA2N0ZnU28wL3NvaUZoa2p0Szc1UlFTejhwa1l3dlNVeUZBcFp4TFY2OWIvRVE9PQ%3D%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7f962b2312caaaa8664e86670a1bcc11).jpg)
“Before being a mom, I couldn’t imagine having another human’s bodily fluids on me and not being disgusted. Now, it’s just a part of daily life.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXNOZnR1SncwK2dxZXZlMGhNaWlaYzdyamJqZElOSUVLeDFsZFpjNWtGbllnOHJXRHRIWW43V0xoV0swTnFYUVNFaGozcWtSL3BrbU9ZQWdYYTl2Q3NqemtCK1hTYk1Ta2V0VVdGNGVYRThCWEZpNXYvZWRlRThtSUpTSnYyaVQzb0o4RTVVam1lcmZWeTQ0L05nQmJrPQ%3D%3D/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(64946d7554c3629f348bd3cea6c1a0b2).jpg)
“Motherhood: the only job where having cereal for dinner is considered a well-balanced meal.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY3hRMGpXMjRhNERCdElQbytHYU1qeWR1VCtpSnlGMTA2YmIrbERyR1paVlJYQ2wwSUxTOFl6am5ENXNEdDlVMFRleVlMakxMd296eDBqczFRZXZYWG1aSmp1Yk5wS2hkOVBvdVJBcm5DajdzamlWR3FtSmFzdWNoTXdFNys3K09JM2lTVHFyaXdubnlFSzhBZlpYbWV6QkZaZGhoOVNPRHVQYlBxTnJBWWdJ/FIRST+TIME+MOM+QUOTES+FUNNY/(96f198f0e101f12caea299c456c79dd7).jpg)
“A baby’s cry is like a built-in alarm system that goes off just as you sit down and finally relax.”