![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZmEzd1k3cndsLzZkK3BaTXRDNVg1YWNwdVBZeVlJV01YSE4zVllNZXl2SGNVbmY2a0lpU0wwdXQzU05tazhTTFdVamk3YkE3VEtTVTIxdXdPWlpjMUliWG9RSVBhbEZuL2JCZzBDU3E4VnNHUGgxQjlPT2tqb0Y0bkVyRi9Ia3dFcU1TYlljWmkwc2dqbVNQK3h6M3RzQXZWNHFDdEE3TXd2RVIvVHNuNnFt/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(19bc0e72ee1b1c4d2dd5ffe6dfc0c19c).jpg)
“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.” – Jennifer Yane
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMmpFSFAvS2pzdDZWSER2QkxTK0ZjckhhRlBaK1pkQ2VuLzhzRGd0bFhJWlpGckRVMFJWY0UwZStwNXJpQU1iQlEwV0tyUHk4cEtXVVVJdTVmMzlFTDg%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3c51540b29be90cd6d30520596b74945).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNDJaTkhUYnpZUythZS9sSm5teEtwZm1sSUcvc3VUNHJadEVQVm9CM1ZUZHRZNU9iZFBlb3VOY1FJMkdJT1oyL25xWTROekdJdXVKVTBING9lTlVnRVBpUm9iSGowMjZrU3RpcDJVdWRGUzBSUGhUMmJEak9pc0owM2Y0SlB1bk5TOFQrUDRKdVQrZEFhL05rWU16c2JzPQ%3D%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(16502211adec93caa3fc5bf414d721d3).jpg)
“I always arrive late to work but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeGtRQnZFOTN3ZzAwVmV0SHpHR3N4cVFWSlBBYVdaT3gyd3VxeExrZU9rQ1dIakd4aWxlVHRwcHVKREJ4VGlpQUxSNkVwYi9kZ2FPTHlqRHFRdzBPdzY4eGRlRTd1MEF5OUUybXNBdTQvMkh4dHdxUGU3NVFFVzVJMzcvUEpDbW4rckJlQUpqcnNXV1JjMTdPdEVLd2xnMDNNUFltWE9QMHhzdEFva3Rwcnc0MkxYa2V0SCs3cTcxdEF6VDQ1T1hQbVZWMTZVd3orK1E4RklHV3l4UnNOYitGMUs0Qks5VTR5T1BvSHBvS3pMMg%3D%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(edab046acb38c4da6e6ce7717a499fa1).jpg)
“My doctor told me that I drink too much caffeine, but I don’t believe him. I mean, all those cups I’ve been drinking can’t be wrong!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HUmt6VkthcEtCbndoYnMrTlYrT0YwRU5QSlJtZXBySm9ZVW5RcU5PYnFySThwcjNwMVZVSzNScjQwZzJSaUwrMWduMTZta1JZdG1UN3hsbkcwbWVPUVg5WWJVYklveHNJY3A3cU5PYmNQNEd3PT0%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0d58cddd021854024713aec0debb4262).jpg)
“I don’t need an alarm clock. My ideas wake me up.” – Ray Bradbury
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMzlmZ2QxWEFOUWh6UVp6OXBEcllZQ29HSzZVWGJEQ014bDRuZFg5SDBOWHFkUW11aktXMktrVUJVSTh0Tm5ENVI5bUVXK2NucmpDdnFFTVpBVndTcjFjMDlZVnZ3b2xZMDA0MXFLN2h2TFZBPT0%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c2c050a4e08575d00ce9553ff1905586).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just performing elaborate feats of coordination.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMN2R2b0E2TkYyQWZYZTkrQ2FTOTV2RWhoUUhmUGZHcXhPY2swcXEyNFJITERkQzFxRXJKU2k0bHdieGxORUFsbGVZa2dLV3p0S2tSRlBMSmN2c0xZak9CQVVNYmtMVWQ1MHpqbnBqNjN3ZDM%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(cf5476d969155545deaa548966c7bfbc).jpg)
“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNzY2OXJoRm5JU2FrVmJiTmVjajJOaUZNbmtFQVNiT2pTUkJVMmY5bjB4OFY2NEtvNU1KM1ZTL285cHgwUkpVUUwrS0k5QzViRWNWR3pxOUFQenpsc1pOcFZxeVFlOFJCRHpKazNSWTZMM2k%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(cfc87f8c9c0a2f8c21ce5351766b10f1).jpg)
“The only exercise I do regularly is running out of ideas.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMkd6UFg1eUE5ZEQ5bnovSVoxY2lpTXZOYXNGVlJiNjFsOGpIR2Nkcmh3WGk5VEJrbnhaNS85MnV6YXdrdWZ1dG9PeHUydDIwdlNvR2Nhd2pmRlBoNzA%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(396d1cce683b3c6958822b875c736c0c).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMejMrYmdpd0tKUkhoOFI1bEZuRlYxdVpJQ2MvMjQ2Vi9WRE5BeHdmbTNMU2RDOXIzK1RDKy95ZnJUSS80ZmhzUHZUcE1CM2diUFQ1QVJHWEFXWENSTko3dEdSM2tmNmZwT3dXT1RmeU16WnFYWFNWY0Rmd1AwK0hxTUw5WitGYWJBPT0%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(592ff25614767e53862245301039fd67).jpg)
“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks, and all I’ve lost is two weeks.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeXdHalcxS1M3dXJFM3llYTgxMFlucXpjSmJCNzMrWkZjNGg1c2l1S0tSWkhlWEdrRk5LajNWTjNRUExMODUrdlJvZEU4Rlhqa0xpT2ZTbURsSG1YRXk4aFhsdXE3NTVtZ0Z3QzUvc01naXRRRHBXSkRBRUZUYlhpcHI2UGFEQk5OaUVTQW40SVRZcGdad0htS0YrWFZrPQ%3D%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(ee82f0e49f9be0804b5dec04b45c72d8).jpg)
“The road to success is always under construction” – Lily Tomlin MISS PIGGY QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd2M5Z2NnSzJCRmxjeWhZK09PbTJYR1JNN1VKQU5iYlZFK0lBYkhpRDBWYklSbDVpMTVzdTg5NkZUMTBPcFVPNWR4dVcyZVRRei9NQVdyZ2puSlhFT1pmQmRyMmgxeFY0S25oOWtJbnZwWlQ%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e7eefa40cc2c6332951abffd1d28f2c1).jpg)
“A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HVDJXVG91S3BJWEpSWlYza0JnejFXNUU4bjhKYU5mZHFTN3JHNGUxQkowVE9RaXgzRGRMT29xeThxU2xzSTNjbm0zMkwzV2gxUWRzL1NkdFg4ekxSM0I%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(15b9381cd3b27d9836ab23275e357e36).jpg)
“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOTRUQ0Qxb2NqenZOeWFOVmxydXUzTDJ3R0FvQzFvVWJLS2dFcXBqaHd6TkdsRGdDM09sWWk2eDA0Y2VXNFNhM1l2VUhPU1dEd0h5MWZqNllsZ3BqdHY4dWFPbk5rdlZrQWJVL08vUWJmOXN2a1BzMzBRZVNkTEpNcldvZWFtUjlSWkQyb2ZKSjJ4bWg0alc0STZNTzlZPQ%3D%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(68a7df5a61c843198a1cb49406f29b09).jpg)
“If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d definitely win a gold medal… later.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNDJaTkhUYnpZUythZS9sSm5teEtwY3pKd0JEVklWRmNhRFVnbzNITGJGcmRuNXF6T1R1ell2KzB3d0FvbWJ4UkEzWkwvNGRaWm5OemNUTUZuYlJWZ2xpSmNRQ2NyR2Nxa0FxcW5qUWE5ellaWG92ckRodmxkRzc5YitQZkFpd2tkWUVhbUhwUWRBWk1GZXV5MnZwZ3MvRVN1L1hhYjdjb1pTVWVsd1d0WjBn/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7852e7bd228887d88cbe0014a9c1ecf4).jpg)
“I always give 100% at work: 10% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 22% on Thursday, and 5% on Friday.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNXFta3Iwdm1ZR3RLd0todDJlTHpBYll3b0lPWE4zQ1VoNzJYT0NXVDRpak9tNzExVnNEc01LanUrWHZSMXdDQzcwVVR6RWRZNUF3Q2dhWjgzeEVnaS9scWE5V1ZzQzdrOHR3SVZ6d3RzRmhOa3hIeHlkd0lPUnBmOXVQZ005OEt3PT0%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0c1af9b0c98e6ced86c200062b7d7e89).jpg)
“The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMmtRaitlRmg0am9HMU5TdnNhenBEVnRNYTc4QjhQVTNVVVdRVmZIU2t1d1Vkc3hDcElnV0QzWnpMWFBOQmNqMWMvQktjaE5qQU81YWcxNldwZ3UveTF6QjVHdmg1aVpkRks3M3R2bmJQNWMrTkdyN2dKWkhQVXQ3NUI4TXF6WjI4PQ%3D%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7a1c4ecc89b16a484521d6be97756d06).jpg)
“I’m not sure if I have free time or if I’m just forgetting something important.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HUkFSZVJPSEM1TFVBNWZ3VlJFS2VGSlJ1dDVmR2NwVzBTYkt0TmFsOHM1UUd2SkhDaVZNUFFtWDhTQVkvdjd1djBYVXNOK3NIYlhFSkFwM1RpWGhyUFA%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(cd175e9ea86e909e06ba8ecf590c5831).jpg)
“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvM2ZzRVVmanAvVzBEaDhQSzJaVDZMMHZPazJIek90b2czeUlsdis5dE10ZDl4QitxWi8yR05IL3dKWitGNlFEdnM9/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(4a00d3624c3a2a770b8cac863c11a855).jpg)
“I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeFVTWGRRSnk4U1VDZ1dBRGVxODRCZVFCNUxNNnB3RnlaNU4yWU9DMVErSWsrTHQ1d1FLZDVid1BLb3lFUXExWG9LVHhLMzkwenhtUUdpSWZzNXh1N2hJTU1LNWIwcDJZK1RRdDhrTVRQWVE%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(7863336e271fc0bab072f3bed6940e96).jpg)
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it didn’t fly.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HU25jZ1IzdDRPNXpmQnFFWmoxMlJURHRJdDJMMFU4Q0xna1lzYUtIL09zTDI2UTlpbnBXSGZRUTByaCtzb1U5V0g2L0RwYW9UUkJEL2JQV2ZwT2NZMnJHa3l4ZkQ0NWxhMDhpdm0wNk03ZDhBPT0%3D/FOCUS+QUOTES+FUNNY/(fdefaa5f1904bf839c66954571092855).jpg)
“I don’t need anger management, I just need people to stop pissing me off!”