FOCUS QUOTES FUNNY

“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.” – Jennifer Yane

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“I always arrive late to work but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb

“My doctor told me that I drink too much caffeine, but I don’t believe him. I mean, all those cups I’ve been drinking can’t be wrong!”

“I don’t need an alarm clock. My ideas wake me up.” – Ray Bradbury

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just performing elaborate feats of coordination.”

“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”

“The only exercise I do regularly is running out of ideas.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks, and all I’ve lost is two weeks.”

“The road to success is always under construction” – Lily Tomlin MISS PIGGY QUOTES

“A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.”

“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!”

“If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d definitely win a gold medal… later.”

“I always give 100% at work: 10% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 22% on Thursday, and 5% on Friday.”

“The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.”

“I’m not sure if I have free time or if I’m just forgetting something important.”

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.”

“I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.”

“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it didn’t fly.”

“I don’t need anger management, I just need people to stop pissing me off!”