FUNNIEST SHORT QUOTES EVER

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.”

“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”

“My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.”

“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”

“I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, and then it hit me.”

“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.”

“Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He’d stop at nothing to avoid them.”

“Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink!”

“I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop anytime.”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” LAUGHTER DAY QUOTES

“My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”

“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.”

“I’ve decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. Well, it was just gathering dust anyway.”

“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”

“My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”

“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.”

“I’ve decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. Well, it was just gathering dust anyway.”

“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.”

“I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”

“I used to have a job at a shoe factory, but I got the boot.”

“What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!”

“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”