FUNNY AND CREATIVE QUOTES

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ and I’ll turn around.”

“I put the ‘Pro’ in procrastination.”

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” – Dr. Seuss

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.”

“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”

“If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me.”

“Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me—I’ll laugh at you.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the volume of my awesomeness.”

“I put the ‘fun’ in funeral… Wait, maybe that doesn’t sound right.”

“Life is like a camera – focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.”

“When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.” FRESH START NEW ME QUOTES

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just embracing my gravitational magnetism.”

“I’m not weird, I’m just more creative than you.”

“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”

“My bed and I have a special relationship – we’re perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.”

“Exercise? I thought you said ‘extra fries’!”

“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.”

“Live in the moment, but leave room for pizza.”

“I may not be a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.”

“I can resist anything except temptation… and chocolate.”

“I’ve finally realized that diet stands for ‘Did I Eat That?'”

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.”