![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYStrZDk0WXFtK29YVkhHbUdFbWZwaHdyM1hzYzZxdXJFN2txN0xKU1doUzNwT3FMVm40ZUFFdm5aRlRENzRZcU9OZnIxQWFhTnp3bDNVNW1hNFY1MVpKekpEUXVEWjhOSllzVURNLzA0K2R6MTNremkyeU1DY0NxdDZ6dHNLLzRhVWRjbVFXMnVJd3NRMVVubXFUcTFSSWFGcGpjaG5DNDFHeFRCQnFLMUNH/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(2143d890f0b2495d052635e43fbe985f).jpg)
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVlVBR0tSbFJjVjBvQ0JqVllXd2dmekhyUk9RVi9nS1R4dmhnRmYyd1VGSUlWL0c2NU5Dakt1cHBUbHp5NnBjbnVjY1FPZlZaVFB5MU1KV3lvaHBKN2J6RXVvczZScEIxNEFxTHM5WGFmS2gzaXpFQlJ2K3dRU2hyK3NSbGpNdWlLZHFDdVRFK1RGSWkramd5NXpzelJHOWdNWm9iWkEwYklGZDdkcm5tUis4WWYxRWo0MnZUWEZyaENqZEdreGI0QT09/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(50bfcab588da0d4873cbb0151f6df533).jpg)
“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.” – Bertrand Russell
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteEtNb1E1bjlPNjBhZkw4MlNBYzV6Kzd2Vmt4c2ltc1IzVzNtdlA4R3NhTEZHOG5wd2pWbHZaTGd3ZFJoc3Q4ZHp4Rm1VTERkcGVCMGdyaUhSeUJTbnQvOUZpYWlDaitnSkYrYmdJRWNDTzFBPT0%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(22547c4d100155cd0b89e6f327b48422).jpg)
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvUER6QnFFaUJIdEwvMSswdXRYUVhpNFpMM2pPeEJ4OWwyY0dnaG5zQWkwMkFDZWhLZ2lkUW1YMG1sWUtyZGRkVXlzZWxFNjM1Tzdka1Jycko3SG5CUGVVU1pKblNBKzA5VzhoZ0hZbFRXbndkazJsQVJCbktjNjE3RHZyM0pmRXp3ajRMRWZOOXV4ci9mNlExSFAzZ0xl/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(1eb9ddfa941cf4af2f273fd329f2b277).jpg)
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFlaZ1ZuM1VERFZCMWJuWWVLWDkvTFNRM1FERGE4TTlhS3p2bHF1UHVJSGlRUXhlN21JWmdvK2tvc01HKzRMcDBwclZaVmpybmxDdVcyT1dUd0tsZm1YWHhMbTBWZEpMNmlMOU1tdWFuek5jamZmajFXQTFCbTBMcHVZa3Vpc1VVPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(fc2e3060299f5445310279ab4142dea4).jpg)
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDZzBGV295c3NOa3gwNlRMYkYvUXNzblJRdjNGYU9tVmZHVmtGS0RHMGtNb3ZRUGlEYXp0YmFGK1FRZ05mNHByREgxQnlodEkvbE5jRTlubnhvYU1xQ29YcHEzbW9BYkMyRW4yTUYyS0s5czhNOUhGbFFQZDRHbkUxVHBxaWd0NytRPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(10d37d8599470abbc2e7ef9163d2dc0e).jpg)
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVlVBR0tSbFJjVjBvQ0JqVllXd2dmeTR0d0tFYkc0TnllVHpwRk9wQTdwQU9Va3FVMDVpc3NTNEhoUjFZRUloOFZEZW52WFVYelVLUGtzNytMU1dnZ2thTXFYa3lzMUp4YkYrOFVPWXptODNJQzAxUlBTYU94M1BWcGZLUlBPN2JrRVMyWjFkclBjVmM4UTZBVnhYckV3Zm1YRnNqOEN3cDRMUHAzU2t1ZWJxU0UrWGtmYWRiYS9OR1hqM2hLL0p0bDlHM0E4Mk9yRzVSOW10eE04RUtQcnVoOU1TOGtJYUJIR25ZekpvZjNmcg%3D%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(2e0a4f270fcc98aff15c436861448fcc).jpg)
“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1Rtb0gyNTBrYXp2T1VlaWt5THZCZnZmMVU0emdZVE81dFlSRnRNUUlvanBsMzh0dFZEUmt5Nk9EOVVwTWJMaklybEl6UnVkaWo3NUVuang0ZGpmS2ZIa3RRZ3gzdFVaeEZSS0tTRGhpMmRzaVBPSWVsTlgwYm1URmhiU2YvSnMyenR6cFhrakpCZjF3UjlQZHVtVXY3UjF6bnRwcTNldlZFOHBURmtiQUFKVzBPVXNGc1VxWk9CMzJocngwdHF3QT09/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(f179ded03a21dfdfcc233796246e7c5d).jpg)
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Alan Dundes
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvUER6QnFFaUJIdEwvMSswdXRYUVhpNExuemJxSGFrU1kwdlB6VGNLdmo1M29jTmh5VnFDKzRpd2pIczJEWWdvcDlBZ2FUdHZqMWhTaURWSzU4bDIzUVZnd3Y5b3dIUWhheWpaU2lDKzJRQWc2ZTE5VUd1TFVQWDVjQUlGQy91MjJjPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(eb4fb1c18eb6ab93596d10d168d5aab5).jpg)
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjQxN2pUVmhYM044N2Q4WEp1TG5CN01scTUrcXFTUklFUGVyWFVpclhWUUZwQlA2dXU0YzFDaUhpeWFCek4rUCtWS1NuNm13dzFXNjliNzUxQjZIUVhpQXU3em1yWFd6RW00NjNMNDZyZlRtOHZ0djVJbTgrL1dBYWx3QS8xQVkydE1CNVlZNHJzbDNuR0c3eXVXV1BubU9tY1RrT1dZbnpPTGZyS1RXY250TVFqZlFZQzBtVkFOVDNoRXQ0dGlzOTVvWlJPRmFMYnNGUUtuUWhsWjZ5eDRrZ3ZxeXNTOTNjU3piN291SEFzMw%3D%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(c925d49fc721df54950f419ae578d3ca).jpg)
“I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a ‘cell’ phone.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUp6SWlDQ21oZWlVekt4K3hJMTM3b3Azc3ViQW9zR1lBTFZiREhiV1R4cjE4YnNlSHk1b3AzZFV3S01WZTExaUh1OHRON2JpTWp0VFlmQW4rbmRwK2VsV2ZqZjZoYlNrT0s4RnBZbklpVkFqRGRLbHFrUHY3NmdVZ0tpeitSUE5mTU1SUlZza2s0UHIwTWVqbGpiNGRnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(b4b3b89d8882d3e799c44786191cda10).jpg)
“Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUNRZDhNT2tQNVdHZ0h2Umk3eUt2TUJFOHREamY1RTJGdHF6dkVkeFUzSnFUVS9odzIreDFEcDFzRnFuRDYyOXRnPT0%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(754d436b5990578023b28bdce1b2944c).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXRDTDA5OEdZTnJTaU4xbk9sMkFGTW9qS2hhUmpsUDc1aTBxWnY0SDdIM2t4N1VzNVRMY3RkMllxczhZTHJFMkl6NVFmblRXck9FYWJHQTYrUk1kSVJvTnpDWUpSdDdZWUZKYWtsam1OUjJUdkswR2cvckdQS0tITTdpZ04vSVVKNi9acVk3dmlVZnRLcDFwVzRhZE5JPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(7f035bb4d5fc7b3f58404eb56fa46be7).jpg)
“My doctor told me that I have a drinking problem. So I got a new doctor.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU09rMmdOMnE5WWxXd0wyUFdGVzNFMWV4ZjE2aWJrT1ZLMzVVK1I2YWR5cW9TSFlZMUQzTll5bmROSVY5aUU0Z2V1WnVyUVhtTkZnNGdrdkY0R0EzeVJYTk0zUTloeVgzSmZDR2x6NW5DL0ltQXc3ZVRtNGhlSitZZDJVWlBoZ1JOOWhpQUhWMk81WDNIZG9jbVFKWmZjPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(1d7b63bdd663a9383083c0564846d411).jpg)
“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” – Albert Einstein
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteEtNb1E1bjlPNjBhZkw4MlNBYzV6Kzd2Vmt4c2ltc1IzVzNtdlA4R3NhTEZHOG5wd2pWbHZaTGd3ZFJoc3Q4ZHp4Rm1VTERkcGVCMGdyaUhSeUJTbnRCUjJJQTBzdGs1SHFyNlE4M1VoVXRPM2JsWFRiM1hoQ1dEcGJnVnFtd2M0Ym1oemxobjdPZFFkNkVOU1l3aTBFL2l2cXJsQmZ5VTJXUUdrdkk5Nk0wUT09/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(681f01547b8db4973f06861092af41a9).jpg)
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown SHORT DADDY QUOTES FROM DAUGHTER
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2dmNXbm9mT1BmaXhQdmc4czZYZ3B2V3NGandRQmtnaDVMTWVTeno2R2RZRStqOElQMm5GOWFSUU5rZ0hKM1k0UlNLOFQrTC9XOXpUYjVDT0wrbzVGaXRoSkNPL3NxVXFYcms4VWZVVklTT3dnPT0%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(7a80fd623881bddbfd38f31afe7a4ad5).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZkc5OE9KR1ZubGYrOStVOWZ2aGZFODVSeGVnR0pldzBZVDNkWktvWVJXMStaQXl4ZHJJUUw3cmpvNGhZa2dDRE5naUVhb0xoT0VOKzNzeUFwRW4zdVJlQnNyMlQ0dUdqemRhQUpubDZOTnhva1VPUWRlaGtyc1djK1p2Tmg4OWVz/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(0954a7eaa5365591629283ce1ed1adec).jpg)
“I don’t need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUU54c2Irb2F4U0hHOXlyV0M4dXgyY1IyVnZVeXBFU3QvV1l1Qi91c08xYVR6VzVjTnZ6ZHYxTUFSUTlsWE54bTc3M0pTQXM1Mi9VS1MrbjRZc1l3STY0eEpnS2pEM3paQU9VaVU2Vkw2U3Npd1c1Y0RieHpFNElwMjBUMHVLRExSUjkvTE15NVk5bUxUR3JKdUpyNWIyNjgveWRva0RWOWpGM3ZSS1E3cm94VHFlTndpS2FxRFdQYlFjdHp2bStmQT09/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(743aaa69982d0c97cff8fb6ba711a7e5).jpg)
“Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.” – Laurell K. Hamilton
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY3lpWERsMUxzbmZKdjc1eHRmVmxsZnEreFFjZ2t6L1grQkRZcW9iQng2R0h1YWdjYWVJUTdyUWJ6NFR1bUpHOGxnSTAyN0drODJ5SENDMk1NVDVWejFpUm1DZFJtWEd6OVQyRFpLSVlZNWJKTlh5Sk9VZEFZaXNvY3M3QklRLytpeEgxRU5rOXNka0dyQ1l4VmVkM2hNM2YvSXQ2NjNsbGtUckdVa3RBdXRKZz09/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(7acf307fba9d05998c993958a93efe96).jpg)
“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWTB6OFlSUXhISVR5TVg2Z014ZUNqSFVlZFUrVmF0aGs1Vlk3c0hwSVZrY3NtaDd3ejIzaSs3WHZONVJyQmRONGJFa0lnN1hYNFFCZDROci9SUFp3UEdhZUdzR1R5b2xCZVZBVFRlMStobG5wRlJCdFZRWThHSHp5eTE4OUEwVkRXaTFDeDdQcVBONktDSDFnYmg5QmgrK0VYTG9CU1dybWtIZy9Zci9JdGJSb1ZVeXBIa0x0OGtRM3pNeWtoZzl3OGQ1bDNMdjdYMHJ6UDc4V1ZkcDNLRT0%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(c2f8fba9f2bd8dc6f24d3dcd0b16ac17).jpg)
“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.” – Lana Turner
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0RXYVYwZjJlWGpleXVtTGJkWStTdEJWemcvYUVZREhrSTlhaGFRNkpsaGp0L1FEN1BMbzJMdTQyZUxaa2hiWHphY2NxSE5raWFNZkJDSkVaNHk0ZlVRWC9kTXZidUloN0k3eUorS2laWWY%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(a45927656364b6aced9e8ad9c90eedf2).jpg)
“I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.” – Terry Bradshaw
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVTNmY0VseGt2cUk5S1FMK3JzaWwrVVBqRDdFUm5sN1E0YmYzNkJaNTMzKzRtSCtPT1F6amRPUnA0WkFiRUU4NmtGejdTRnpSU3ZXa2dPekF1dUUwN3h2QU1XUExTREtqOFpVMXN0Zmp1b3NqY1FSNElIRkFBTEZhYXZJaG9sc3pROHNHblpHVmdPeEhlMjM1UkNwS0ZNL0hwaEVQb0Fnc2FzZlFFcDd2aU1Y/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(1c4f4db8846ce8ed3a242fe9f2ab3336).jpg)
“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” – Mark Twain
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFF0S0hENGloWkY0ekR2RFpaYzBGYTFMcHVSMDlDQjJldENwOURZTlFTWUJLb0RraUFOd3EzREdPLy84bDZpS2hhMTNWN050SkwxamVyUlpxcWl3RFhudkdHblB0ZmJiVSsyVytJSVBFdDZIOVRqSHJhOG54K0o2YjlQOG1mSzkzRE9aZnJINUhYcTNTalRzZFljTjhnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(ceebecc7d8cdcb0a6641cc0c4a30c4d9).jpg)
“Cauliflower is nothing but a cabbage with a college education.” – Mark Twain
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVWhJSzVOOVA2dnJ5SE5HT0xiYXVNZVZ1TWh0RnU0Zk5VcVdQMTI0b2dsb0x1dU1pZUtjdEhoaDRvcVhUMWtBbEdYandoRXVRbnFVNDhlMkgvSG8rQ0taaDc3TTQxZ2IzZTcwSHpySnFTMGpWMEtQNWlWUlVZVXVMbHM3V1lvcnpLd2pyL0tpNzZ6NWdONmFRVHRSUnRNPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(288a56b9d1d9e1cff8ac9e7239d3aff8).jpg)
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsN3lrb2RMOUx2a0crSWtVeWtlWHBYVTloSy9yWmhKN3RUVks3TDdyS0Z3a3Q5YlRHZi9SQXo5QStaQnFaQmxCZFgyN0JsR21WTW03MWNzVWhmTmN0MTRyMGd0ZHd0S1J3TytsZy9WZXg2ZDdCenBqaENlUnZCMXhIQjdvb2RMbjA0PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(e54494d224027f27446ca0ad59311598).jpg)
“I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me. ” – Noel Coward
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1ErNldUQm00dE94Q25FcytNc2UvRkgyamRzdHdRWlVZTlJvT2xmUGNDdUhKV3VIN0J6SjlOZE5QSXFWK3ZWSHhkb2c5RDJHNnQ3Ynl2aG9uN051UkdQaWFuMjJSUm5Sczcra3Q2RzNwVW5tZW9xUmI4NldDcGVNYmZFVVV3MW1DWWpNVk94eDRYYkdNdFVvbWtVUllZYU5kRmxyWWI1c0RQbGdMMDhLdUkzTHJnckkrM2R4cWc0VWY1clVaUzRPUT09/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(8ffe9f302bc35a5d59a580eb9ba93858).jpg)
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M. Schulz
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUTJSampyTmxSakNDVU8vY1YwczJIdGJJT0xXMVRzcGpPY1hQd3RISGkrbWEzcHUybDgweHpyUXg1dWRteWFvUzdnTW41dTFRdHA2WkR5RFYvdHJCaE9YU3lHS0kxVDFaVnh6eDg0RnJsL21QRGZ0akttSzNOK0dxWmFVREpNclg4SEtIVi9GTVZlRjhzNkwraW04WHQ5cFdkSWlRT1AwODViQm1NRXU2WU9n/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(2f3fe39dfaf975924c07c39899b41307).jpg)
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aWJNRHg2cnR3czN2YnV3Ui9rSFFjMzdPTmlRdUZKcnl1emhpMnMzcksvMG03eFFkV0lHdlhNR2E0aldhWlU3L3RsbDM5SjFicnlhQlJKc09EbXl2aWpmK21LZGFTYmlzVTduVy9JRE9ZTlhRPT0%3D/FUNNY+AND+INTELLIGENT+QUOTES/(965d2c3cb779cb6b03d26ac0004f690b).jpg)
“I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.” – Unknown