“Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.”

“Behind every great wife is a husband rolling his eyes.”

“Husbands are like fine wine, they all start out like grapes but it’s the wife’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something she can actually stand to be around.”

“God made husbands to remind us why we need a sense of humor.”

“Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.”

“Husbands are like toddlers, they’re adorable when they’re sleeping, but during waking hours, they just make a mess.”

“Husband: A man who is always wrong but never in doubt.”

“The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.”

“Behind every successful woman is a surprised husband.”

“A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”

“Husbands are like chocolate, they’re sweet until they get all over your sofa.”

“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.”

“Marriage is all about give and take. You give him a headache, and he takes an aspirin.”

“Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”

“Marriage isn’t a word, it’s a sentence. A life sentence… with the possibility of parole… in 30 years.” ALL YOU CAN DO IS PRAY QUOTES

“Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you just wish you had a club and a spade.”

“If your husband speaks and no one is there to hear him, is he still wrong?”

“Husbands are like fine wines. They get better with age, but I prefer mine without the cork.”

“A husband is someone who, after taking out the trash, gives the impression he just cleaned the entire house.”

“Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband… or so the husband thinks.”

“A husband is someone who will eat the last piece of cake and then ask if you wanted it.”

“My husband’s idea of helping with the housework is to sleep with the maid.”

“You don’t need a husband to make you happy. Just have a chocolate cake.”

“My husband is like a fine wine. He gets better with age, but I’m more interested in the cork.”

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person… even if they’ve left their dirty socks on the floor.”

“Husbands are like Wi-Fi, sometimes they work and sometimes they just disappear.”

“Marriage is a partnership where one person is always right, and the other is the husband. It’s a beautiful balancing act.”

“I love my husband, but if he doesn’t stop snoring, I’m going to smother him with a pillow…kidding!”