![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZGZ2a2lZMzVwQlltTEZ4WFc4UFd0YStleUlzKzRIOFg4cWZtLzE4YzczdDBNRkU5Y0MwNnlBRkVmSEJPdkh5YnQ0enR0L0NzUXpEWFZNZjdON1grMDRiRU4rQ042VmRJQWN3MW9ZaGg1eG8vdVdSZ1JxdVczOHA3WmZsMFl0eUZIZ0d6V1A5bDN2UHk5RlBUcjZkdkJ0KzNCVG9rYmZiR3BIQUZDVDhrTUpu/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(eb42c7a17b39b02967e98cc80a8b2420).jpg)
“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWFdBOU5aVWNjZFQzUUF2c1hKc0sxa0dwcFJqdXl4ZHpJbVh0RUNNL255OWpoa2JhSUxXcHRwcUhxZG1EUGVMUGxlS3ZCZURVL05sN0VLSEZQdnAra3dsbFlad3laWFFHU2wvQmo3RzM0T0U4dngxeDNrWjZrYTZJQWZnbWVkcWdnPT0%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(bdde8a6c68d35d25591c74601d62f63a).jpg)
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZnRrRGdkVGhOSC91OWZONkFOajlMVm02elNLYW83akZyV0dLWVYrK3l1bzYvZExtdEJ3NDdWcGZTdThtU241NTRjOC9DUUU2S2tCSXlNZ2FEZnpnVDBnPT0%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(0a78cced52ccb267e08b0616f258aa2d).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWnJGd3RHSTdrV0w2THhTSUFBZjlkN1doVmJBNHhmdmNPdmdVZktMclVJcDM4ZUtEWER6eUt0U21uQmxKU2JvU3FlcEgwSlJBRWp5UU5iczZwWHAyZU13T09zdXZ4NTk3cnBESW83QzBHNkRsODJFdmpHYlVDbEh3KytYY0Q0SExhU3lPQzczSEdnVGNXVCtHSS9YNDNjPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(8805f974dd709366c33a19bc356190bd).jpg)
“There’s no such thing as a stupid question, unless it’s mine.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRYy9ha0NtbE1rcEVWbEk1WnAxMTNyY3VQclVCSVF1ZHhleWVKdlZkQWR1dkxTVlFGUkI1OFJSaWIyNzh3OUFIQjBaQ21STS9ITEl1Um1zcVh5bm8vcVJSUnhNRGsrNGRsb3VjM1hvQXQvTVRDK29OU0ZRMUl1Q1ZETUtJNmJUbjBtcFMzMktRWFBsMjdXaVBtRmk2TkxM/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(00401e0ff05788938441ee7fe4831eab).jpg)
“I’m not shy, I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDZzBGV295c3NOa3gwNlRMYkYvUXNzblJRdjNGYU9tVmZHVmtGS0RHMGtNb3ZRUGlEYXp0YmFGK1FRZ05mNHByREgxQnlodEkvbE5jRTlubnhvYU1xQ29YcHEzbW9BYkMyRW4yTUYyS0s5czhNOUhGbFFQZDRHbkUxVHBxaWd0NytRPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(10d37d8599470abbc2e7ef9163d2dc0e).jpg)
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUhtam5XalBwQTFwYWFjRGpFRlhMbmcxTU5ORUI1MFB0eS92cU5uQkRIMXJENW9MMjVPenhIV2lXdFBwSTQrTnRPR0ZPYVc1VC9tSW4zNHN4Um8yUHQwdGpTT2RxczVMWWIycTVyZkFCTHVTQUY0Szh2SFE4VVhuYXV5cW9OUFFVTlhza3djNWZJZ2xkU095b3dzeU13PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(2f9d44429e703ad2fc93b4694c2c7f79).jpg)
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteEtNb1E1bjlPNjBhZkw4MlNBYzV6Kzd2Vmt4c2ltc1IzVzNtdlA4R3NhTEZHOG5wd2pWbHZaTGd3ZFJoc3Q4ZHpvTUJQZGJGYTFSYzc4VXE3aEhkNjBqZjdvbWNJalg1blcvNGpDQWV5d0YxdlRxU3g3K09MZEF2dkxSU0hmYW1zPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(702c132f1740d261b4d16141c4068e84).jpg)
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZjNzdnVIU0VCcytENmpVd1VWMGVCTU51VkY4b1JyNkdwVnZ0YTNyTjdKYStQdVNZZElac1FDR3o2SlhTRHdxVTk2OUhmT0FkQ0dEd2I2Z3N5bVg4WjFuREt4OThON29JYlVtU3lQQVB4aGgzWGZuZjVaejJ5UEVRSEp6cWpybXJv/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(4022bd507c44d899ad8e30ba9b1a2bb4).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDNpcEZNTkxRUlhUUDZ1MEtwc29rTzFNcmQ4TmJaNm1wZDhSM2tRNG9aQmc3d3NFRTY5RVBURzMrc2RhcUo4TlpIRVdPNVRtYjNyRHJCQWZkVVNrT0tBQjZTYTJJYjBzMi9HYkVlaWx2SWtnPT0%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(68df4a8746be6d0e864479c3d8d8523b).jpg)
“I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aGRPOWF3d0RrVi9tNzJOSHNCQVY4dTBnZ0xMKzY1MkRuM1ZMQkV2dkJTT2NGY1h2cjdLRHpvMnRNSmtPTEt0Y2NMb0s4bFhzdkdXRCtMdURiU0V1Z09UV1JoNS9pVVB2b09DQ3grRkJyeUt2aCtBWVFBY2NpdCtmZk1wRnl1blhRPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(756a913eb19125354c62e211251d10c8).jpg)
“I don’t go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV2hzOHJIbUY0akRoSnVvSGd4ajIzMVVwOVVYemVNanFPa2JFS0pyY245bnBuQnBPbnRaUGRQOHhXano2eC94ZU5RUFI0WDhRQktRcWU4enpiTGlWc2NPVnVJUXREa2xCbjVZMFZURmVMUE4xUE5Fam9JTGExMmhzNWhJcTJxd0pRPT0%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(40ec76ba4a028dfc12a4001b2094492b).jpg)
“If there’s no chocolate in Heaven, I’m not going.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEl4U1ZwT3lsT1RmZmoyMzFtcGNZWEthekwvVUpMWENPM0J6N2hsVFJLbWI3V2d6dVdyN2FVQWphY3JmODdGeStSMU80dW03TEVBbDVMTXlnd1hOdFFvMXVxVFNYQi9PNE5ZRkZhR0s5MVNsUGNtTXBRNWxEa0RwQ1UrUUtsTGhxM0F1TjBXTE5VTlFQL1Ryd3RGNmVXYXB2VGVScTJKc0Y1Z3U3Y2tvYkNF/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(422796d492aa1c78763b1ef77ae1d0a8).jpg)
“I always carry a pen in my pocket. You know, in case someone has a pen emergency.” – Mitch Hedberg
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUQ3WUhkSHkyS2ZlczF3cXQrN3c3NW90aEFycTdYQVV4UmVubTBYcGdYMjEyaDVMQnkzZHN3aTg1ck1FcU55ODVaVFQvbWwrc3NDd1dETjhzL2g3KzZuWUp5N0RMM0lSRE1OVUlyQ0RrQlk%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(69b7d8a7b3e4a0ffdd6c7e3b4d8aab70).jpg)
“When nothing goes right, go left.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1hxVEd6YnpUVG1oRFJiTEE0dkFMMFZHTW51VUZ2ZmtWUmtiQmdPeWZrdEYwbzAxdEVDMklXUlJCQWRNWklLK0dza2FGRms1TzF1Q0ZLN2EranNJQkVEYnhvZzdyYXN5ZkExRzRTMW1NTkNGK1lObkVTVWNIanEvallKSGtkUjkzRUwxY0NmM01qc0owVWh4SEd6MlNlOGdCWHhidnhaY1pQdFhoNG9Mem9vRlhqa0FGSm1VSDZuV05LMHRObnF2d1RDa2NTQTQ1SThINHhyOFpvSFcrbFBlTm16ajgzUFJ3WU5hSnJvTHhWd0E9PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(a81b7f90804ed61cfd927557853d9a70).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown HOW TO QUOTE THE NEW YORK TIMES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY2VYbXpWM0ViN3ZRY3BBNmFLOTdNaEZtZ01BblpzdFVraEdBR2sreDNrRzNyWHdPWGNweUJvTmJKd2xTSUdPcjVPZFpRUzVwNCtDWi9CNXV3NWo2Kys%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(2e0e5e35d85414029e8038d384e54591).jpg)
“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYnRMck1scTRid1N6TnVhbVU2TWJlblduYjBPTjFQL3FyMXppLy9uSzRORGF3N01EZjhaNVFMQ21wL0M4WmlYVnpsQkp2OVp1RldRcDRaclVjK2VNRmlFRjlMSVk2NHRaZXp5ak1TaHROK0tTNFFqL0EzZ0ZVSlhobmVQVDA1Nm9RPT0%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(8ee3fd11fccfeff0ff7cc23d85901318).jpg)
“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” – Don Marquis
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZHdCVlVzcVdkeUpnVFgrN0FWM3pCUW12QWdBelc2Tldua0lNSW1QNHZaU2RyMjNsYTZ1ZzFmeU5TOVptUDRnYzBBTXZSUkNlYXlVUnlrTEpNSFFvWWg3QzJuSHdqWkg4Um9meVk4OHVUZVVabk1PNEFFZHVJN1dIZHV6NHk4RUZrPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(a840a54d4d1eb98090d20a4fb79ec0cf).jpg)
“I’d like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money.” – Pablo Picasso
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV01VVG8yK2dRZStNcGVhSnYzTGhWTlN3WmdQbWlBRWRTaE1OdjZ5c0tWMGdDVGIyY1N6Vkt0RTJITnIrQ1MvRzNRZEFPdThuWC9TaVFMaTRvUTB6b2xnVWFxNkJkT3NiZGNjNDRnem95S25Vd0xXcGVmdUhibitVQjcwa3RyOWtqQThrRzIxdGVvZldHYnhvbzBRTHlQUXVueGZmQW9rMUZjcjdiTkdjeVln/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(3d531aec342ce03eac3c1949b213b214).jpg)
“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY3NueGQ2WjEzbnNla3JtTER6YzNwemY0bWxhRFJONG5za3hGWVUvblgrWmxYYllneEFuOXg4VlNVbkhBSy96Wk91WWZuNmhIcmxsVU0wRGduM01kZlpOdFhibDBrZWgxWGVwWGpRaUFJcko3Q0JQZ1dwMGxSSHlvVy9qdlNvWXhBPT0%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(f407db41cd7a29d51ccc888920e1b2be).jpg)
“I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvTVZ6ZHp5NUdqMHUyeHEvZUpLYUp3Q0NzMU01c0tqUitZUHp2cnljWjBQTytKN3ZQUEJQYmVjMFJlMG8xRHVJVWNWTUhHa0xlMlhBVzhtQy9nK0twYkI0bVk0K2xneWVaQytxcnJ2anI4RnVkZmVBSjRZampoYlExaHduYXpJZ0tNPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(3e48cd1c340024ea61b9445d3d06e8ad).jpg)
“If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZktyako4N3M3bkkycHhNbk1NVXhmVnlYa3h0RzF0TTRBQ3lPSTlJQ2NvV2dZUFVoejdLUGlyR3EyQm0vbGlJY0ZZcks0QW9EUStWdmowMWp3RXFUZ0d0NVJEWmFwUEp0NDk0amlxaGlTS2ZBPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(3d032c47b4f972416b84f374f0d1bf20).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2c3UyN2hIZGowOXVTWFBGWk5MRzhWZnZsWXRIdmhyUDhJZmVCSlpabEU5czlTZ3UrQkFYOVV4dXNCY3IzdzlZMldTWEIweGg3OFgxKzU0TkZTb0ZZb0UxMlRrWE5OU09xTVpXN1NjZ2VtRFVJMmh3Y0RuVmxhcEZmcWRaLzMxbFlsQ0UxWEw0Nzh6L1FpaWtaYi9kc3Nu/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(4a754de58a54f05a64d9d9fd9478e3ba).jpg)
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkNWNXFST2JYUXY1WDRGalRmYVhLK0Zrbkd0VTMxZ3BFQkdad1ZBZUxwRVJFVXo4MnVuNTVkTG5QaURkaXJmU3F4Q09SZVhKWGZGRThkL09qMTZ4TVA2OWhUUTIrN1lLanpqK3RxQjlFQ2FiTkwrY3NTS1JOdEJPVUFZYkZrbVJmNkhyYnZ6N2J3MklyVDFpR2lwTU01dHpqRWRaRlhzTGRmeE8wT1lCdE1qSmhiOG90bWFiaVFNSnZ6aFNmWDZJcXkwS0xSN0FZSWU1M1ZnaDNmbnpGV1kwMjRGWHp0K0tOVGhiL0NENnhiNw%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(e7826a86ba8ddcca0975ae5c1caefc96).jpg)
“You know you’re getting old when you bend over to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.” – George Burns
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVWhJSzVOOVA2dnJ5SE5HT0xiYXVNZjdQT0hja1VMdVN0SC9kVHRsM1o5T21FeUVmSjdnZ1cySllHQXZ5UmYxTFEvT0swVkFLK1NHN1J1azlGWXU1V2hONnpzK2NTTSs2cmwzdTlNTTFxbE5OV3NDUVI5QjhlN1NmZ3BueGV1cXFRPT0%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(e72d6210b7cc28f3b42da9db820f045c).jpg)
“The road to success is always under construction.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUtsOXc3THF5Q0E3aWRDNTFnQ0F0NEQzSGNoRDhsL3hUUTJqUUU1MU1GSDRYYVNlRnNkcGF3VzBudGxDZms4N1RVV3RYTHdnUWhCRzZ3eEo5R2F1djZZPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(f0e073706d6441b082d992dfced483c8).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aVNQZkllUnlSV2dGYllpNlMxNHdGaDVwK25KQ3V3RkJKQVlpNDRCeThkKzNBenpDVWdqZTlkdHRwZEZDYUZCWnFLTGpXK1ZUSGtuOTV4QjR1YTd6OUxjTlM5QzdtRkM4NG1MQWhHa3RFd1NST1hiczU3TGsyTmE0d3J6Y0pMUndJPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(7ac55044dd7713f9442c21aa5e156128).jpg)
“I don’t always study, but when I do, I make sure my parents see me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUp6SWlDQ21oZWlVekt4K3hJMTM3b3Azc3ViQW9zR1lBTFZiREhiV1R4cjE4YnNlSHk1b3AzZFV3S01WZTExaUh1OHRON2JpTWp0VFlmQW4rbmRwK2VsV2ZqZjZoYlNrT0s4RnBZbklpVkFqRGRLbHFrUHY3NmdVZ0tpeitSUE5mTU1SUlZza2s0UHIwTWVqbGpiNGRnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(b4b3b89d8882d3e799c44786191cda10).jpg)
“Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFFUMUtIRUpQUE16aDhxaGxGazk2VkFKNTFxMlVpeHRWU0tZQ1g5T3pxb2c4d2pzQXNnbHoxeVp1VHdzM0xWd0xKM1ZDbE9NK2tyUnZiQjg4U0NqdVN2bFJaYVZLME5oUmJ3bFVkQmpMNHdoS05SQ2kxd0tScmx2MWNIQjdldkRnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+APPROPRIATE+QUOTES/(411372ca45f45dc8ea9e626e0c65863c).jpg)
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott (The Office)