“Love is like a rollercoaster ride: exhilarating at first, but then you start questioning your life choices.”

“Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?”

“Relationships are like Algebra: if it’s too complicated, you’re probably better off without it.”

“I used to think I had commitment issues, but then I realized I just have an issue with shitty partners.”

“The only thing more awkward than dating is having to explain why you’re single again.”

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”

“Love is grand, divorce is a hundred grand.”

“The key to a successful relationship: keep your Facebook relationship status as ‘Single’.”

“Marriage is like a deck of cards: in the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond, but in the end, you wish you had a Club and a Spade.”

“The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Preferably with a better credit score.”

“Relationships are like farts: if you have to force it, it’s probably shit.” HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY QUOTES

“When someone cancels plans with you, they are really saying that they’d rather do anything else than spend time with you.”

“If women ruled the world, there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries not talking to each other.”

“Love is sharing your popcorn even when you secretly hope they choke on it.”

“Dating in 2021 is like trying to find a needle in a virtual haystack.”

“The best kind of relationship is one where you can openly talk about food without being judged.”

“Relationship status: Sleeping diagonally across the bed because why share?”

“Sorry for being late, I was busy fantasizing about being single.”

“I don’t need someone to complete me; I need someone to distract me from overeating.”

“Love is like a diet: you start out motivated, but eventually, you just cheat on it.”

“Congratulations on finding someone who looks at you as if you’re a piece of avocado toast.”