FUNNY BONES QUOTES

“My doctor told me I should avoid any unnecessary stress, so now I avoid my in-laws.”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”

“I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.”

“I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make it on Tuesdays.'”

“I’m on a whiskey diet – I’ve lost three days already.”

“I finally realized that my dog understands everything I say. Well, at least he gives me confused looks.”

“I tried to catch some fog the other day. I mist.”

“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“I’ve started investing in stocks. Beef, chicken, and vegetable – they’re all delicious.”

“I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.”

“Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”

“I walked into a restaurant and asked the waiter, ‘Is the spaghetti fresh?’ The waiter replied, ‘Yes, we cook it up fresh every morning, then it sits in a container all day.'”

“I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you…'”

“I don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” QUOTES ABOUT BITING

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”

“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”

“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”

“I’m on a whiskey diet – I’ve lost three days already.”

“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“I tried to catch some fog the other day. I mist.”

“I walked into a restaurant and asked the waiter, ‘Is the spaghetti fresh?’ The waiter replied, ‘Yes, we cook it up fresh every morning, then it sits in a container all day.'”

“I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you…'”

“I don’t trust atoms anymore. They make up everything!”

“I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.”

“Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”

“I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.”

“My doctor told me I should avoid any unnecessary stress, so now I avoid my in-laws.”